Read This on Another site-How to Be a Good Wife

i had this one posted on my fridge for years. i put it there for a laugh, but the real laugh was on me. as time goes on, i become that woman more and more! not because i'm repressed into it, but because as i work less and my husband works more, i love to pamper him and make him feel appreciated when he comes home.
the sprucing up and foot rubbing never happens, though.
:D
khairete
S.

Many of these things are done in homes anyhow, just with a different attitude. They are done because they are enjoyed by the person to do them, they are done because there is a respect in the home and respect for the person. I always give my SO a while to do his own thing before talking about "whatevers" or "complications of the day," not because his day was worse or harder but because he needs to change gears and his focus first in order to give it proper attention. There are even times when I say, "hey I want to talk about something important or something I think is important so when you are ready let me know and it needs to be done tonight or tomorrow (if there is a time limit) just a heads up." Hey most of this list is actually good human things it is just the tone and wording that makes it come across wrong.

Ha! I've seen this before and still find it hilarious. Happy to have been born in a more enlightened generation; I would have made a very poor June Cleaver.

Aside from the super stupid, "you're the woman know your place, the husband is the master, let him do whatever he wants no questions stuff...These are really good things to do for your spouse. I don't mean that you MUST do them to be a good wife, they are your duty, or these things should be done every day. Certainly, I could never agree with anything telling a woman a man is more important and she should be subservient. Some of these things.....sometimes really does make a husband feel really special. Every spouse needs to feel special. A husband could do any of these things (the non-insulting things) and it would make his wife feel special and appreciated. Honestly, if husbands and wives did things like this for each other, there would be a lot less unhappiness and divorce. Do I think this list was actually coming from a place of a woman knowing her place, and essentially really sexist. Of course! However, the things on this list can give a spouse really good ideas!! I mean for BOTH the husband AND the wife.

I like the basic message, and I think if more people (men AND women) treated their SOs this way, there would be less divorce.

However, some of it is ridiculous & obviously not feasible for the modern day couple.

I find it troubling for so many people to think the list is valid and totally discount the vile things like:
*remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

*Don't complain if he's late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through at work.

* Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

*......You have no right to question him.

* A good wife always knows her place.

Many women suffered (and still suffer today) with the school of thought that the wife is of lesser value than a man and that the husband is to be served at all costs.

Mutual respect, consideration, love and selflessness are HUGE parts of a good marriage, unfortunately this list from the 50's only urges the woman to have these qualities. The problem with many people on this site is that if you disagree with a list such as this, they automatically assume that you are headed for divorce, are selfish and b*tchy and a long list of other judgements. I hope that you don't experience it!

hey, you forgot to mention the lines:
*A good wife always tolerates her husband's mistresses"
and:
"Make sure you have "welcome" printed on your back when you serve as your husband's bed-side rug in the morning"

I have read it before...and quite honestly I do try and do some of those things for my husband.

I know he likes dinner to be at least cooking when he gets home...he thanks me a million times when he gets home and smells it cooking from the front porch.

I try and keep the front of the house straightened.

I wish I could spruce myself up a bit...but that just doesn't happen...and he is going to have to live with the dryer going if he wants clean clothes...lol

The rest is kinda funny...it would be nice to light a fire (if we lived in a colder climate) or have drinks made...I am doing good to have iced tea made for dinner...

I think it is the thought that counts about loving your husband enough to go out of your way to make his life easier and giving him some of the nicer little things.

I know my husband goes out of his way for me all the time (he washes the dinner dishes every night...yes, every night!!) So if he wants home cooked meals I make them...and he washes up afterwards.

i agree with it to a certain point, and let me tell you why. i DO believe that i should make an effort to be happy, cheerful, encouraging, and flattering with my husband. take an interest in his life outside the house and not complain. i have learned this after 10 years with him. and IF i was a SAHM i would make more of an effort with the house, re. dinner, clearing up the clutter, etc. i'm not so we both work on those things....

but here's the catch - he needs to make an effort to be sweet, affectionate, and a good listener, for me. it works both ways. i do think it's great advice to ask him about his day, and make an effort to be a positive piece of his life. and i expect the same. all the other stuff...well...bless their hearts :) they meant well!

* Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dustcloth over the tables.
* Be happy to see him.

* Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.

* Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

These are the only ones I do consistently... I cook dinner but I dont always plan ahead...
I DON'T think that his topics of convorsation are more important that mine- though... I just don't want to jump all over him the second he walks through the door, and I think he would give me the same courtesy. Home at the end of the day should be a sanctuary for BOTH of us... I think it would be nice to be able to get my husband a warm drink and a pillow after a long day at work... and I have- but I am too busy in most cases to do that, and if I did do it, I would expect the same from him every once in a while. I do think little "favors" can pay off in a marriage though... and that is the advice I get from this...

For example, almost every day I set out my husbands work clothes for the next day for him. He doesn't ask me to- and he is fully capable of getting them himself... but he notices that I think about him. so on days like today- where i woke up with a miserable cold... he returned my consideration by letting me sleep in... fetching me a coffee, and dressing the kids before he headed to work! How sweet! I wonder what a list about how to be a good husband would have said in 1950?

-M.

I actually read this to my husband a while back. My daughter is 12 now but when she was little it was all I could do to make it through the day some days. One day when I was particularly overwhelmed and I couldn't stand the house being out of order another day - I asked him if it bothered him when he got home and our toddler was running around screaming (or laughing or whatever noise she found interesting that day), and the house was a mess. He said - I love coming home to a good meal after a long day (I always cook a nice dinner). Our daughter is smiling and laughing and happy to see me and I can see that you take good care of her all day, every day. I don't care that the house isn't perfect as long as everyone is happy. You take care of me and you're available for "adult time" on a regular basis and you're not too tired to participate - WHAT ELSE COULD I WANT???

True story and it carries me along some days still. We are a Christian household. My husband bases everything he does on what God would want him to do. I yield to him in most things, although we make decisions together. If we are at an impass, I let him decide because I know he will always make decisions with others in mind before himself. Do I rub his feet and make a fire? No, but I do try to keep the home fires burning as much as I can. I wouldn't have minded living in the 50's as long as I could have been married to my husband.

LOL............my husband would leave me if i acted like such a door mat. I was totally on board with the first half...........then it started making women sound like they come second, nope sorry. We share first place with the man.

I have no issues having his meal ready and special, tidying up before he arrives, freshening myself, being happy to see him,pleasing him, lighting fires , warming smiles, and encouraging quiet..................i have a problem with

~not being "allowed" to question or complain---lmfao
~speaking in a low and soothing voice, i think my husband would put me in a padded room.
~ knowing my place?, what does that even mean?

Good advice if read with wisdom ~ that is if it is your dream and passion to be a wife (and maybe a mother too) as a career. Not for the staunch women's libbers or career outside of the home gals:) Just my opinion.

How sad some people would look down on these words. It is not progression to read this and simply laugh. It is ignorance b/c you are denying yourself the chance to respect how far women have come.

My man is worthy of all of this and so much more. I have a college degree in psychology and sociology, with minors in engineering and foreign language. I have worked in fields in and out of my subject matter expertise, and doing the things on this list and having that kind of mindset are hardly degrading to me.

I love being a homemaker! I meal plan, have a housework schedule, my home is decorated (as much as I can since we are both minimalists), being a wife is fun and parenting our child has never been difficult and we know how to balance being strict w/our well behaved son as well as spoiling him rotten. My husband is well fed, well taken care of, is healthy, knows when he comes home he will see every day (I hope) that he married a woman who knows how to take care of people and manage a household, a woman who is good at her current job, a woman who is grateful for her responsibilities. My husband knows his wife isn't lazy, is intelligent and would never look down on how far women have come. My son knows his mother loves his father, loves taking care of him, loves cooking, cleaning, and making homemade playdoh. I haven't lost myself in being a homemaker either. I am healthy and in shape. I have alot of friends, both of whom we do things that have nothing to do with our kids like rock climbing and running and traveling and with whom all I do is talk about our kids. We meet on a regular basis (almost too much) with and without our kids for bfast, lunch, dinner, painting classes, at the gym, language classes, museum tours...the list can go on and on, and all this was going on while my son was still a baby.

I am not perfect, which is why it is such an HONOR to be a housewife and homemaker, b/c I can be my own person in my own home w/my own family, and my husband is very worthy of every bit of the fruits of my labor, day in and day out.

I'm glad I can see I might have fit in in the 1950's. That just goes to show my world isn't so small that my interests, passion and talents aren't restricted to the world I live in now. I could have survived back then and I'm open enough to survive in the future.

Oh yeah baby! I am the breadwinner in our house, and my husband needs to learn how to be a good wife! This sounds just right!!!

What's sad is that not everyone would consider it funny. What I find truly interesting though, is that the job in those days was housewife or homemaker - not SAHM. The world in those days did NOT center around raising children, in fact that role was subservient to that of being a wife.

I'm a feminist "career woman" and have at times been the main income earner for my family, and I agree with much of this. Or at least the intent of it. I wasn't able to have dinner ready every night, but many nights. We shared in making decisions, and he didn't like how I made fires...and no, he couldn't stay out all night!

But, caring for your partner is important in a marriage/relationship if you want to be cared for in return. I would add another set of instructions to this, that I often performed "Change into a little something you know your husband finds super sexy, put on some music you both like, and when he comes in the door, slink down the stairs in high heels. He'll be glad he married you..."

Ha! You can tell this was written in the 1950's. It sure would "be a little more interesting" for men these days if their wives were "a little gay."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oooh I needed a good laugh today.

Sheesh, the person who wrote that bit of tripe up would have a total melt down in my house.

Right now my husband's upstairs putting away laundry, my kids are kicking the snot out of each other on the xbox, I'm taking care of things downstairs (trying to kick a fever which is why I'm camped on the computer right now), and when he comes home from work, we sit down and have TFG (This F'n Guy!) sessions. Where we rant about our days in as humorous ways as possible to relieve the stress. Or, we just play a couple rounds of Halo.

My place is NEXT to my husband, not three feet behind him. I need to be strong and able to advocate for my family, not quiet and mousy and accepting of everything under the sun.

Yes, I am a stay at home mom. But I'm also an Army wife, which is a job all on its own.

Nobody should greet their spouse with complaints and problems at the end of a long day.
As for the rest of it, i'm wondering how on earth she would keep the kids out of her hair enough to be able to accomplish any of this?

I agree with bug:)

I do most of these things already. I don't wear makeup often or ribbons and we consider each other "equal'... other than that, I've got that list covered.

Maybe not all of it applys to the 21st century, but traditional ideas are traditional because they have stood the test of time. I think a lot of these ideas worked, work and will work - all to help have a happier home life. I'm not saying all of them - the 'you have no right to question him", and "don't complain, even if he stays out all night" - when was that ever OK? But Don't greet him with complaints and problems, make him comfortable, be happy to see him, . . . this is the person you've chosen to live the rest of your life with -being as nice as possible, and showing you love them by trying to take care of them and make them happy and comfortable - that makes sense to me. Of course,this article, I think, assumes that your husband is trying to take as much care of you as you take of him.Just my thoughts -I'm an old fashioned girl. But I think they bear trying out . . . .

Replace "wife" with "slave" and it's dead on.

Sounds like something some guy would write.
How insecure do you have to be to want to follow anything like that?
Why is there never a "How to be a Good Husband" guide?
How many guys would actually follow it?
If you have a 2 wage earner household, are there 2 kings and no peasants to do their bidding?
I actually think I'd like my own Step-ford wife robot to take care of things no one wants to take care of.

I think this is my favorite. Stays out all night? I have been laughing about this all day. Thanks for the giggles!

Don't complain if he's late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through at work.

OMG! I was born in 1959, so this would have been the philosphy of the
time my mother was growing up, but it never came to pass in our house! Thanks for the laugh!

Parts of this I actually like, "be pleased to see him when he comes home" stands out. Who wants to come home to a grouchy wife? The whole king of the castle, take off his shoes, not going to happen.

When I got married, a retired Colonel and his wife gave me an Army Wife Handbook from the 50's (my husband is military). It was hilarious to read. I even took it to a Wives' Coffee a couple of times. A lot of things mentioned above are in the book. It tells you how to organize a linen closet, how to not complain about your day because his was harder, how to trim your candles, etc. It was actually a funny read. No, I would not have survived the 50s!

Well one of us could check snopes.com, but I am pretty sure this is not ACTUALLY something that was printed in a magazine in the 50's. It's more of a send-up of what things were like back then rather than an actual document from a housewife magazine. You can sort of tell because they push the limits with the whole "you are not important as he is" part.

It's funny though because there are some good pearls in there that I have to remind myself... who wants to be greeted with complaints when they walk in the door? No one. And yeah, nothing wrong with sprucing up the house and your appearance before seeing hubby after a long day. I know I like to walk in and see a neat, clean living room... even if the kitchen around the corner is a mess. And if my husband were home and sitting around in sweats with greasy hair... it wouldn't matter how clean the living room looked, I'd be kinda put off.

And the "don't question his judgement" part... well, there is some truth to this. Hubby and I both need to unlaod about work issues and no one wants to hear the other say "are you sure your coworker didn't have a good point when he told you XYZ..." Ha ha! Just walk into the lion's den why don't you.

But now a lot of homes (including mine) have two working parents. I guess it's paper/rock/scissors for who has to mix the drinks each night and start the footrubs.

Pretty sure this was written by a man! Can't blame him for trying! Sounds like a little bit of heaven!

ok so i do not like the idea of a woman being a servant to her husband. However I do like the idea of these things happening because BOTH people make it happen. Often the first thing either of us do when we get home is complain. complaine complain complain. about work about traffic about whatever. If you use some of the things (again both people) to make your home a haven then think of the mood shift. Bring your spouse a drink because you love them and want them to mellow and take a minute when they get home to transition from work to home life and get over traffice because you love them, not because you owe them or it is your duty. Most of the underlying reasons for doing these things still hold true but these days it is a 2 way street.

A good wife always knows her place? Excuse me? I am not a servant.
My place is out in the workforce, making sure that we have food to eat, health insurance and money for our kids to use for college. I would like it if I came home to find that someone had cleaned up the clutter, cooked me a tasty dinner, uncorked a bottle of Cabernet and was ready to give me a foot massage. Can I travel back to the 1950's and be king of my own castle?

I was born in 1954 and I know it seems weird now but many of the women in my family acted this way. It's the propaganda campaign post WWII to convince women to stay home and be housewives and servants to their 'lord and master' . And to enjoy their lives in suburbia and no matter how smart or talented you are a nice clean home, happy husbands and children should be your only goals.

Take a look at the TV shows and movies from the 1940's --1970's. Sold the propganda to millions of women.

You know this is a hoax, right?

Updated

THIS IS A HOAX

Let me guess ... the article was written by a man! Let's be honest, wouldn't we also love some pampering and undivided attention after a hard day at the office? Unfortunately, I don't know any mothers who have the luxury of "resting" during the day in order to be "fresh" for hubby's return! I've had the good fortune to have been a SAHM when my kids were small and have been a "working mom" (I actually hate that ... ALL moms work!!!) I mean I've had to work out of home to contribute financially for the last 15 years or so. I have to admit that I liked my hubby to come home to the smell of something good cooking and a clean & tidy house. I did it cos I could! However, since we both started working for a salary, we take turns with the chores. Honestly, I'd LOVE to be able to stay home again!! Keeping the place clean is a small price to pay for not having to deal with office politics and "impossible to please" clients ... over and above the chores I end up doing anyway!!

A couple of them i do anyway. Some of them though... ha ha ha!

To be honest - I think a few of them are right on - tho we (hubby and I) both had a good chuckle reading this.

Howdy neighbor! (I live off Lake Jennings) I'm dying! That article was hilarious!!! I'm with you, good thing it's not the 50's! =D

I've actually seen the copy of this article (of course it could have been photoshopped, but it looked nice and old and vintagey) and I think it's true.

If I did this stuff, my husband would wonder what I was up to. He believes more than me of equal partnerships, so this is just laughable. While there are some nice things, they go both ways. And, no one's topic of conversation are more important than the others and as a good wife, I do know my place - right beside my husband, not behind and not in front of. Master of the House my butt!

Don't ask him questions??? I mean really!

Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

This was the worse of all......

My heart goes to those wives of the 50s