Questions to Ask a Divorce Lawyer

The one thing that really got me when some other friends divorced a few years ago was college. I always assumed at 18 children were considered legal and child support stops. In MD, it's until they graduate high school if they turn 18 before. If not, it's until 18.

But college - phew! A friend got her ex to agree to pay 50% of college for both of their girls. That's a lot of money, but it's in the papers. Others have no college payments in them and the kids ill get loans.

I also didn't know about the 401k's, they are assets and each gets 50% of the others, at least in MD. My friend lost $40k and her ex didn't have one, so he profited $40k.

Honestly, if the lawyer is good all of this will come up - and I really hope the lawyer is kick a$$!

One thing I thought of is would HE qualify for spousal support? That's a question she needs to find out since he hasn't worked.

Be sure to ask about options for alternate dispute resolution. If the divorce is fairly straightforward (and even if it is not), mediation can be a great way to develop a resolution that works for both parties while saving a bundle on court-related costs. Some attorneys embrace mediation as a tool, others are completely litigation-focused. I would want to know how my attorney stood, and would personally not go with someone who just wanted to "win" in court.

So sorry she is going through this. She's lucky to have you as a friend to gather some ideas for her.

Have not been through this myself, but a friend whose parents got divorced (when my friend was an adult) said her mom found out -- only long after the divorce and by accident -- that the dad had had bank accounts he'd hidden from his family for decades while still married. I'm not talking about a "just in case I need to leave, this is emergency money" account like we sometimes talk about on here. This was long-term and big bucks and socked away for dad to spend on dad. He had even lied to his wife about his income over the years so he could stick money in his secret accounts.

I know that the couple in your case have a husband who hasn't been working, so it's less likely that he has money squirreled away secretly, but your friend should be sure that her attorney digs up every asset her husband has everywhere, and yes that includes a 401k that might be sitting there from his very first job in his 20s. Or life insurance account he got (or got through a job) long ago that he forgot about but something's still sitting in it, etc.

make sure to document who gets who - even down to the time of day - on holidays.
I have several friends that went through amicable divorces that continue to fight about this year over year, like the kids are pieces of meat on family holidays.

ETA: the 401K(s) could very well be still sitting there. If they haven't rolled them over or cashed them out--it's an asset.
(Pretty sure her attorney will have answers to all of the questions she has--and the ones she hasn't thought of yet.)

Your friend might want to ask about retirement, 401K accounts, etc.
And custody/visitation agreements.
She might want to ask if she will need to pay spousal/child support to him.