Every Diaper Change Is a Battle - HELP!

C.,

I feel your pain. My son now 16 months. Just within the past 2 weeks he has begun to settle down for me. He does okay (NOW) for me when he has a wet diaper. But when it is a poopy one, the race is on. I have to wipe up as much as I can before he flips and leaves a mess. I too have resorted to the cell phone. I think he is beginning to grow out of it. I mostly change him on the floor or standing up. I stopped using the changing table a long time ago.

I am a 28 year old first time mom. Currently working part time from home but making more that I was full time away from home. My husband and I were married in Oct 2004

K.

This started to heppen with my son at about this age. He would get changed with his daddy just fine but when it came to mama it was a different story. I personally think that daddy just did it faster. What we ended up doing is getting everything ready beforehand, changing him on the floor instead of a changing table higher off the ground and moving swiftly. Sometimes I would ask him questions to get his mind off the moment...asking "where are your ears? Show me your nose. clap your hands, etc." I also break out into tune with hand gestures like the itsy bitsy spider. He would do the motions and I would sing the song. Moving quickly is key for us and our little fighter! Good luck!

lol...I'm surprised it took this long to start! I used to lay my son between my legs and put an ankle on each of his arms. He screamed, but at least he couldn't flip around and it went quickly. My husband just caves and gives him the pacifier which is usually reserved for bed only. It will pass.

Just last night, I knew my 20 month old needed clean pants, and just said, "Megan..." and held up a pair of pants, and she walked over and laid down, put her feet in the air. Of course, I had to play with the feet some - gave her a few raspberries on the feet. She likes to have something in her hands though - set of car key's, the can of bag balm (we call it "booty balm"), something.

We've also noticed that with both of our girls, there are just times when they would prefer not to be changed, and have had to resort to "pinning them" by putting a leg gently over the torso just long enough to get the diaper changed as quickly as possible.

One thing we've done to help sometimes is put on a show like Dora the Explorer or Blue's Clues - something they like to watch to distract them some.

Biggest thing is to relax and try to make it fun for her - tickle her belly a little bit, play "patty-cake" with her feet, and try to relax. Kids are amazing at sensing tension, and if you're tense because you're expecting the battle at every diaper change, they can tell and react.

Good luck!

Try changing her diaper on her bed or on the floor. And don't use clothing with snaps. Try pull pants or shorts. This will make things go faster.

you can try a baby wipe or damp washcloth, that worked wonders for my son he was younger after countless times of having toys chucked at me. when the wipes/rags started to wear off i resorted to sugar free lolypops..worked until he was potty trained. good luck i know how dreadful it can be.

Wow! You got a lot of responses! I did not read them all but here's my 2 cents... my son has been very difficult to change ever since he learned to roll over. I felt like I tried everything and nothing worked! Eventually I switched to Pampers Easy Ups and we do standing diaper changes now. Even the dirty ones! It is SO much easier than trying to do it with him on his back. They are a little more expensive but I can always find a coupon and I think they are worth it anyway.

I just let my kids stand up to be changed. You can't always see as well as when they are lying down, but you can get the job done and there are no more fights. I found once we stopped fighting over it for a while they go back to lying down.

i think this is a stage they all go through. what i started doing was changing my daughter on the floor. i would sit with my legs spread, her head at one knee and feet at the other. then i would put my leg over her chest. it works- that way you have both hands available and she doesn't get to move around!! good luck

You might just have to use your upset voice. 14 months she should be able to understand your meaning just fine. Hold her firmly but gently and tell her no and mean it, tell her that you've had enough and it's not play time, make sure you make your point, your words might not work but your tone of voice and look will. I know this sounds drastic but she's getting too big and strong to be so wiggly up there, she could really get hurt and it may be time to be serious.

Good luck.

Cut pictures from magazines of babies, animals, toys, food etc. 12-15 pictures (3-4 inches each) spaced out so not too busy. Paste them on a large poster board and tape it to the wall right at her eye level. Talk about the pictures and ask her to find_____. My son loves to point out the pictures. Now at 21 months, his says the words himself. I hope this helps.

R.

I was laughing as I read your problem. I had a similar problem with my son, people would laugh at me, but this is what I had to do.
1. I would change him on the floor
2. Place my leg over his stomach area, to hold him down
3. He would scream and carry on, but I was able to get the diaper changed fast an be done with it.... eventually he quit fighting me, because I was gonna win every time.

Another option is to try to potty train her, I know it's early, but if she hates the diaper changes so much, she may be up for learning a new method.

I know you've already tried to let her hold some things, but we usually got calmness from our girls if we gave them a wet wipe to hold or the butt cream to hold. Good luck.

I think she's just going through the "I hate diaper change time" phase. Both of my kids did the same, but it was temporary. I made it a little more pleasurable during this phase by blowing raspberries "zerberts" on my daughter's belly right before I took off the dirty diaper and right after I put it on...during the change, I would tease her like I was going to zerbert her belly. Most of the time, she would be so excited with anticipation, that she forgot she was having her diaper changed. Be patient, this is one of many phases she will "put" you through. :)

Hi C.,
My 17 month old daughter does the same thing. I tried the toys too but she would throw them! What has worked for us recently has been the game "Where's your nose, eyes, ears" etc. And even singing "Itsy bitsy spider" or any song or game that involves her concentrating on moving her hands. I hope this helps but just keep in mind that it is a phase and she WILL grow out of it.

Hang in there! Toddlers are a bundle of energy! After my boys got squirmy, I bagged the changing table idea and just used the floor. Then, it was like WWF wrestling meets Big Brother the Bully - I would use one hand on their chest to hold them in place and then change the diaper with the other hand. Speed was of the essence! It's not fancy and I'm sure I offended some of my germophobe friends, but my back couldn't handle a changing table war all day long. Eventually, my kids would lie down on the floor on their own and they liked that little bit of "power" (my control-freak youngest was even particular about which spot on the floor we used - that was fine with me as long as we got the job done!) Sorry my advice ain't fancy or super creative, but I hope it helps!

K. T mentioned changing the diaper standing. Great idea, but nope, not fun. I've done these a couple of times at stores that didn't have changing tables. But, what about using pull-ups for standing changes? I know these wouldn't work for poopy changes, but at least once in awhile, you wouldn't have to fight with her.

We started giving stickers to my 17 month old during diaper changes. I tell her I will give her a sticker and she can keep it if she is good (we keep a roll in the drawer of he changing table. Then I stick it on her hand to distract her during the diaper change, which usually works. Sometimes, it still is a battle, but this has been the most helpful of all of the things I have tried. The other, which works but is harder to manage, is to blow bubbles with gum while she is getting her diaper changed. For some reason she is fastinated with me blowing bubbles with gum, but it takes a lot of coordination to blow bubbles and change diapers at the same time! I have also heard a mom swear by an actual bubble blowing machine during diaper changes, but that seems a little out there. But, hey, whatever works!
A.

Maybe it's the changing table she doesn't like. My daughter always freaked out when I had to change her in a public restroom up on a changing table, but she was perfectly fine if I changed her on the floor at home or laying down in her stroller in a public bathroom. I don't know if she thought she was going to fall off or what, but she refused to lay down on them. So maybe changing her on the floor would help. Good luck!

Try singing to her. My daughter loves "Bakers man" we tickle her tummy with "put it in the pan" and she laughs. Sometimes if I can get her laughing, and keep it going we can get through the diaper change. Other times I nurse her on the changing table while I am changing her. When we are out I let her stand through as much of the diaper change as possible, unless poopy, then sometimes I have to hold her down a little bit.

C.,

I have the squirmiest little guy on the planet! I have a battery of objects at the changing table that my 13 month old can hold while we change. Dont bring JUST toys, bring things like the extra child lock for the cabinet (sans screws, of course) or a large eraser, or even a crinkly piece of paper. Just something she can try to figure out and hold and feel.

Then put a list up on the wall - where she can't reach it - of silly songs you know. Not songs you always sing to her - weird songs. My personal diverting favorite 'the witchdoctor' where they sing OO EE OO AH AH, TING TANG WALLA WALLA BING BANG. And sing it faster and faster. Or 'Three Little Fishies' BOOP BOOP DIDDUM DODDUM WADDUM, CHOOO! My mother even sang that one to me when I was a baby.

But if you've got a list, you'll never be searching for the goofiness that will distract her long enough. And that's what it's all about in my house. The old 'bait and switch'.

Good luck. We'll both need it!

J.

I went through this stage with my kids. I never said anything, just put them on the floor, put one leg over their torso so they couldn't get up and changed them quickly. They soon quit fighting because it wasn't getting them anything.

I understand what you are going through. I have a 14 month old also and she is the same way. I give her a toy that she normally doesn't play with all the time and that seems to keep her attention on the toy and not getting changed. Its a quick change but it works. Hope it helped.

When my daughter went through this phase I would change her sitting on the floor. I would sit with my legs spread out and her laying on the floor and put one of my legs over the top of her chest. Her head and arms were outside and her bottom was between my legs for easy access. It kept her a little more still and I was able to get her changed. Good Luck. This will pass.

K.

Hi C.,
Two words.....
Duct Tape!
(just kidding of course)
Sorry...I know it's not funny when it's happening! Sometimes I would have to just do it on the floor and put my legs straight up and gently over their shoulders while I changed them to keep them from flip flopping. Good luck!

I realized that my daughter was scared of being high up on a table. I put a changing pad on the floor and all was better. Sometimes she also likes to have a wipe and will try to help wipe herself or will wipe her arms, etc...

Hope you find something that works for you!

we put the changing table by the window and put a birdfeeder outside in the tree. she likes watching the birdies while we change her (standing up....)

Maybe put her on her back and play with her for a few moments before you change her? Maybe if you make it fun ... one woman suggested singing to her; that is a great idea. Sorry, I'm probably not much help!!!

Like other people who've responded, I've been changing my daughter on the floor with one of my legs over her torso since she was about 6 months old. She's now 19 months old and I still have to change her diaper that way. It's kind of a pain to get on the floor every time, but it's much easier, cleaner, & faster than struggling with her on the changing table.

Sorry to say, but it's totally normal at this age. All of my kids went through it and my 12 month old just hit this stage. It lasted 2-3 months for the others. One thing that worked was a new 'toy'... something they are only allowed to hold during diaper changes and something that changes every few changes to keep their attention. A big brother/sister's toy they normally aren't allowed to touch (you are right there supervising), a playing card, a paper cup, a small stuffed Boyd's bear doll the kids aren't normally allowed to touch, a tube of toothpaste, the keys, etc.

At some point in this stage none of that will work (it sounds like you're there) so the easiest thing is to just change her standing up and only lay her down when you have to, like for poopy diapers. It's not hard to do a normal diaper while they are standing but Pampers does make a pull-on diaper for this age/size group.

Toddlers are way too active to cooperate with layind down for a few minutes... they just learned to stand and walk and run.

I can commiserate with you since my 15 month old daughter does the same thing. What has worked for me is to change her on the floor, while I sit on my butt and place my thigh across her chest. I'm careful not to push into her too hard, but I'm firm enough to keep her from flipping over. Once she knows she can't go anywhere, she'll usually accept a toy from me and lay quietly until I'm done with the diaper.

Good luck with whatever you try!

I had the same problem with my 18 month old. I finally sat her down and told her that she is getting to be a big girl, and that she will be getting on the big girl potty soon. Until then, I told her, she still had to get her diaper changed. Both my husband and I have told her that we know she is no longer a baby, and ask her to cooperate. She now holds the diaper or her powder and helps when we change her diaper. I know it sounds crazy, but it has worked.

Good luck!

Spank her. If my kids ever did this when they were young, I would give them a swat on their leg and tell them "NO".

I'm not sure but it sounds like you are still changing her on the changing table. When my daughter got that way we moved to the floor. She is still a little wiggly, but she is usually easier to change. I felt like she didn't like being up so high at a certain point, besides the fact I didn't like how much she moved around at that height!

I hope this helps!

yes, we've had the same issue and I agree-change her on the floor. Sometimes I would have to sit with one of my legs gently across my son's middle, to help keep him in position. Work as quickly as possible (duh!) and distraction. Perhaps you could make a new funny noise that might get her attention long enough
good luck!

Hi C.,

I to have a 14mo. old and he does the very same thing to me. One thing that i have found that helps is when he lays down i tickle him on his belly and then i start counting and sometimes i sing the ABC's. I am not saying this will work for every child b/c all are not the same but it is at least worth a shot!Oh i tried to do the stuffed animal trick but i found out the hard way that when he is mad he puts the animal right in the area i am trying to change!
Good Luck to you!!!

I have 2 children, the first at 25 (boy) the 2nd at 30 (girl)
by this time both of the kids were in the beginning stages of potty training. Also, kids will attempt to get away with what they can and what YOU will tolerate. Firmly and loudly (if need be... clap your hands loudy..... say Stop it...... loudly, whatever you have to do to get her attention.... she will get the idea you are not happy) let her know that her behaviour is unnaceptable.
This will become a running theme thruout not just this phase but many others as she attempts to have things her way and will challenge you to see if you allow her to get away with it. During some times of their life kids need to know their boundaries and realize "this is not up for discussion, this is simply the way this is...." When school begins, when they
have do deal with things they dont want etc. "Back in the day" a simgle swat on the behind would have done the trick but now a days everyone feels that this is harmful to kids...
in time you will know what works best for you and your darling, follow your instincts, you will be fine.

Singing fun songs during diaper changes has always seemed to help at our house. I have a friend who has mastered changing diapers while the child is standing, but I think that takes a special talent!

Wow - I know the feeling!! Try a 2 year old BIG boy! If he had shoes on to start it was a painful ordeal for me. One thing that helped was singing the alphabet for him - don't know why. But that didn't last. Not sure about 14 mos but when I stopped and talked to him saying I know he wants to play etc. Mommy knows he doesn't want to stop playing....this helped some of the time. I guess it acknowledged his feelings.

It's still a battle some days.

Good luck - yeah I do the cell phone thing too!