Putting a 5 Month Old to Bed

You don't need to be next to him, lay him on his bed, and sing to him, maybe keep your hand on his tummy to let him know you are there. Pretty soon all you have to do is to be in the same room only, singing to him so he hears you are there. The singing winds down to hummming, more quiet and soothing. What I also did was using my own steady breathing as the last sounds, like I was sleeping when in reality I was just sitting in the room.

I did the same thing with my first child. It was more comfortable (and I enjoyed watching him fall asleep) to rock him to sleep than listen to him cry (which tore my heart out). However, it grew to be more and more time consuming as he got older and resisted bedtime. It also led to years of bedtime battles and being awoken in the middle of the night. However, with my second and third children, at around 6 - 8 months (once they were physiologically able to go throughout the night without feeding), I read the Faber book about getting kids to sleep on their own, and it worked. The girls cried on and off for about 2 hours the first night, but it tapered off to easily going to bed in about 1 - 2 weeks. It was easier than simply letting them "cry it out", because I would go in after 5 min the first time and kiss them and tell them I loved them, then leave, then I would wait 10 min, then 15 min etc... So I didn't feel like I was abandoning them. The girls, since then, have never had an issue getting to sleep on their own. I used to love putting them to bed because I would sing them a lullaby as I walked them upstairs, they'd take their bottle of water, roll over in the crib and go to sleep - just like that, no drama, it was amazing.

Having a consistent routine is key to getting him to sleep. Trying looking at the book called No-Cry Sleep Solution for Babies. There are some good techniques in there. You can also look at the Healthy Sleep Habits Healthy Child - This book provides techniques based on your comfort level for letting him cry...

good luck.

It is not a bad habit to sleep with your child. The best advice I have ever heard on sleep is "Everyone should sleep where they get the most sleep" Dr. Sears. Listen to your baby and follow your heart.

K.,
I know it is hard but don't sleep with him!!! Or you will be doing it because it will be the only thing that gets him to sleep. Try just standing or sitting next to the crib so that he knows you are there... even putting your hand on his back or rubbing it. The just don't want to be alone I think.

We saw a lot more difficulty getting our son to sleep at about 5 months also. He's 10 months now. It was especially hard when he could sit up on his own---he couldn't figure out how to lay back down! Now standing is even more difficult. But we're getting there.

Do you have a routine at bedtime? I know this sounds silly and when my Mom told me I needed to do this I thought she was crazy. But it really does work. We do bath time (not every night, but the nights that are not bath nights we change a diaper and put lotion on and put on PJs) then we read a book and have a bottle. (I nursed him for 2 months until health reasons made it impossible---long sad, story) ANyway, this routine lets him know its getting close to sleepy time. This has helped us tremendously... its worth a shot :o)

Hi K.,

My best advice would be to bring him into bed with you, it makes life SO much easier. Check out www.askdrsears.com and www.mothering.com for more ideas.

Good luck, S.

I'm struggling with this same issue with my 5 month old twins. Ultimately it's way way worse for naps than for bed time. For some reason they are able to just go to sleep on their own (or with a little fuss) at bed time b/c they are more tired.

We do use a pretty ritualistic routine...lights low at 6, baths at 6:15 (warm, at like 101 degree water), very quiet music, no playing/loud interaction/toys, then dressing the low lit nursery with the sound machine on, 6:30 last breast feed of the night in low lights (no TV on or anything else), burping, 6:50 we swaddle them tight while speaking very softy to them to calm them, say prayers for them, binkies, kisses, and in the crib the go with the lights totally off (room very dark). Usually they let out a few fusses here and there in the first 10 minutes or so, we go in gently pat the stomach, kiss them, shush them and then leave again...no picking them up.

If you've taught your boy to go to sleep nursing/rocking, that's fine, but if you want to change it, it will take a few nights to undo the habit and teach another way. Just try to get him super sleepy with some of the things that work for him and keep the feed close to bedtime. If you have to burp him after feeds, keep it dark in the room. Be patient, b/c he just has to learn a new way to go to sleep. You might need to pick him up if he can't get quieted down in the crib. But try to not resort back to rock/nurse if that's what you want to change.

You don't have to let him cry hysterically. I think that can traumatize them and make the crib an even less pleasant place for babies to sleep. Just show him how and comfort as much as you can in the crib if that's where you want him to sleep. Co-sleeping works for some people, too, but totally not for me and my girls...

Good luck.

Do you wait for him to be completely out? I find that sometimes my daughter will fuss and fuss and what she really needs is for me to tuck her in and she'll go to sleep. Sometimes I stay there and hold her hand and rub her belly for a few minutes. I also have a classical music CD that she seems to like. If she really starts to scream and wave her arms (like "get me UP!") I'll pick her up again til she's calm, then lay her back down. I read that technique in a book.

Do you have a bedtime routine? I admit I'm not great at it, but we try to change the tone in the house about the time she goes to bed. Put her in her pjs and a clean diaper, make sure she's fed, turn the lights down and lay her down when she's rubbing her face.