Potty Training with Pull Ups or Underwear?

Hi K.! Okay, first of all, it's great that your son is showing interest in potty training and he is absolutely old enough to be potty trained. I'm a little taken aback by your mom's reaction - if she is running a daycare, that is part of her job to help with potty training while he is at her house. If she can't pay enough attention to the children to remind/help them use the bathroom, what is she doing all day? That's her JOB, that's what she's SUPPOSED to be doing!
You should definitely get some underwear for your son, Gerber makes really cute "big boy" underwear that's thicker in the middle so if they do pee in it, it starts to soak up some of it and they can feel that they are wet - in other words, it's thicker than regular underwear so the pee usually doesn't go everywhere. If that's what your mom is really worried about (getting her house messy), maybe that will help. I totally agree with you about the pullups - they're pretty much just like a diaper.
Anyway, I would absolutely start him in underwear this weekend and try and help him learn how to take his pants and underwear off and on by himself so that at your mom's house, all she has to do is remind him to go (and probably wipe him once a day!!) and he can do it himself. I assume that since she has a daycare, she has a potty seat/step stool in the bathroom. I'm not saying that it's completely the job of the daycare/preschool to potty train people's children for them, but when the kids are there all day, they do have to help a little! My son was in a daycare last summer starting right when he turned two and he was potty training at the time and his teachers told me to go ahead and bring him in underwear each morning since they were helping all the kids in the class potty train. They would take them all to the bathroom at regular intervals during the day as well as taking them if they told them they needed to go. I just brought extra underwear and pants just in case.
Anyway, I think it's great that your son is expressing interest in potty training - count yourself lucky because some kids are really resistant to it! You are doing a good job by encouraging him and helping him! Good luck with everything, it's great when they finally are completely diaper-free! Oh, and yes, he should be in a big bed. :-)

yes he needs to go to underwear if he is doing that well. The diaper will confuse him and make it a longer process. You can get the underwear with the plastic over them to use at Grandmas so at least all his clothes aren't soaked when he does have an accident. These are also great at nighttime. Also figure out what times he typically goes potty and give her a schedule then he can stay with the same routine. I know in daycare this is how most of them work. All the kids go to the bathroom at certain times, usually before breakfast, snacktime, lunch, and naptime and then again after naptime, and before the next snack time. Now some kids will go as they need to but the ones starting to potty train at least are getting in a routine of going to the potty several times a day and will do it easier when all the other kids are doing it too at the same time. This also gets their hands washed before they eat. I agree that pullups are a waste of money and time--they usually make the kids go backwards from all the progress of potty training as they feel like a diaper and most of the time kids will pee in a diaper/pull ups when they have them on.
If your child has progressed as well as you have mentioned here he should be totally potty trained within a week so you don't want to prolong it by putting pull ups on him. I didn't use pull ups at night either and none of my kids were bedwetters. I got them up to go potty before I went to bed usually around 10:30 PM and then they went to the bathroom as soon as they woke up in the morning.

If it's possible to just put him in underwear all the time, I would recommend it. I used pull ups with both of my boys and they both had a hard time potty training. They would call the pull ups 'diapers'. When I put them in underwear all the time, they both potty trained within a week- no accidents during the day or night after one week!! With my daughter, we just never even bought pull ups and it took her 2 days to be fully potty trained! I've always wondered how much faster my boys would've been potty trained if I had just gone with underwear. As far as the bed goes, my kids were all in toddler beds by age 2- I know that's young- but they never had a problem with it. My opinion is that if you get him a bigger bed and tell him that if he goes potty he gets the big bed, it may be even more incentive to potty train! Then he knows he's a big boy and will really try... Good luck!!!

Hi K.,

I would buy the big boy underwear and pull-ups. I was told to put the big boy underwear on then the pull-ups. He feels the cotton underwear and not the diaper feel of the pull-up, but if he has an accident it will just go into the pull-up. I would do this at the baby-sitters. Also know that this could be a "potty phase". My oldest, a boy, did not become fully potty trained until 31/2. He went through several "potty phases" before he was completely potty trained.

L.

Put him in underwear. It will make the transition go a lot more quickly. My daycare won't allow pull ups, because they cite lots of "experts" that say pull ups prolong the potty training experience and the only beneficiary is the diaper company. Something I did was get a timer that I could set for hours and minutes. When my daughter first was potty trained I set the timer for 20 minutes and that was her cue to stop and think if she needed to go potty. Eventually I set it for 90 minutes. At her daycare they line them up and have everyone at least try to go every two hours (they are four year olds).

As for the bed. At this age, if he will stay in the crib, I vote for getting up with him. It might be overwhelming for him to adjust to potty training and a new bed. Also, based on some of the messes my daughter made when she tried to do everything on her own at that age, I think you want to be there!

Good luck!

Definately do the underwear! I whole heartedly agree with your oppinion of pull ups from my own experience with our oldest. As a daycare provider, your mom needs to support your decision and encourage his efforts. Don't give in to her just because it is your mom watching him. Lots of people would change daycares over something like this. If he is ready, finish the process. Yes, she will have to deal with the messes too but if you don't do it now, he will get discouraged and loose interest and then it will just be a big battle later. He is doing it all on his own, he just needs a little encouragement and support and it won't take anytime at all for him to figure out the rest.

As for the big boy bed, he is ready to move up. Incourage that independence.

Pull Ups are a marketing ploy and a waste of money. If you are serious about potty training go straight to underwear.

First, I do think you need to get a 'Big Boy's Bed' for your son. You can't discourage his interest in potty training or any aspect of growing up. He's wanting to learn and he needs some independence to do so.
As far as your mom is concerned, I think she is wrong. That is her grandson - she should be proud of him and encouraging his learning and independence. It may be a little more on her now, but less for her in the long run. I think you need to talk to her about this. He is your son and she should abide by your wishes, not you driven by hers.

Not to sound rude, but your mom ought to know as a mother/grandma and a day care provider that she will have to deal with potty training and accidents when watching small children. I agree that keeping him in a diaper is defeating the purpose. There is thicker underwear out there to buy and the plastic covers for them to wear at her house I guess. I would just have a talk with her. That is all part of daycare with little ones, remembering to ask if they need to use the bathroom and all that fun stuff. I don't know what kind of job u have or if taking time off is an option. But maybe you could take a week off work stay home and get him potty trained, sounds like it would not be that hard and then maybe your mom will not mind that you send him back with underwear on!!!

Good luck.

Good Morning K., as much as it is a pain the pull ups would allow him to pull them down and pull them back up when he needs to go. Not so easy like you said with a diaper. His cloths stay dry, your mom just need to help by asking him if he needs to go or tell him its time to go try.

I know it sounds like it is defeating the purpose of potty training to have pull ups at Grammies house, but think of all the cloths she would have to change if he did have big boy undies on and had a accident or more then one a day.
I myself would rather use a pull up in the beginning of training then just switch to Big kids stuff. You can use the the big boy things at home in the evening and on weekend when he isn't with Gram's.

I know there are a lot of day care Mama's out there and they could possibly do the undies full time. Not me, I want it easy for me as much as possible. If that is pull ups until they can go alone and do well I am all for it.
I buy my own diapers for Zane and had bought all the diapers and pull ups for Corbin ( he doesn't need them at all now) so mom and dad didn't have extra expense buying things for me to care for the boys.
Plus I get paid with Hugs and Kisses and happy kids, that's all the payment I want or need. ( At almost 57 I never dreamed I would have babies full time. Thought when hubby retires we would be off having a grand time, together alone again...lol So hubby can't retire until Corbin & Zane are in school full time. Or they can afford daycare)

If it helps your mom out to use pull ups at her day care keep it simple for her. If you still don't want to use them, i guess you could look for one that will help you potty train as you want too.

God Bless and hope things work out for all of you.
K. Nana of 5

Underwear! If it is your mom giving you resistance, the reality is that potty training kids comes with some accidents, and having a day care comes with potty training kids. Your request is not unreasonable. Good luck.

Underware. Do not look back at diapers, even if he begs. It will only prolong potty training. I have done the 'cold turkey' / no more diapers on both of my boys. My only exception was either to have a 'piddle pad' in my son's carseat or he had to wear a pull up in the car (they had the CARS characters on them).
You are right about kids knowing that a pull up is just a diaper. Kids are very smart & they figure things out very quickly.
Ask your mom how she could work with you & your son to potty train him while he is at her house. It will be next to impossible to potty train him over the weekend. Maybe your mom can set an alarm or egg timer to remind her (& your son) to have him go potty.
Underware will make a big mess, but he will learn faster if pee is running down his leg than in a diaper or pull up.
What we did with our oldest was: get him into a toddler bed (even if prolongs potty training to transition to a bed), put a baby gate in his door (so he can't excape at night) & put a potty chair in his room by the door with a night light by it (if needed).
You need to get him out of the crib & into a toddler bed if he is going to potty train. We transitioned our oldest when he was about 2 y/o because we were expecting our daughter. He did very well with a baby gate (pressure gate), but our youngest could knock down any pressure gate he came around so we had to use a hardware mounted gate when he was ready to be in a toddler bed.
Also by gateing him in his room with a potty chair you don't have to worry about him playing in the big potty or playing around in the bathroom (or house) at night.

God bless!

Congratulations! It sounds like your sons is doing great with potty training. I think you are totally right about letting him wear big boy underwear. If grandmom wants him in a diaper at her house maybe you could compromise and use clothe training pants. They feel more like real underwear, but are absorbent in case of accidents. Then just send extra clothes and underwear for accidents.

I would go straight to underwear. It sounds to me like you have the right idea, you just needed a little 'nudge.'

Your mom should want to see her own grandson succeed at such an important milestone, so during this learning time (a few days to weeks) asking him more regularly should not be an issue. Does she expect other moms to never potty train their children or keep them in dialers until they are teenagers? I doubt it. She is running a daycare, so she should be used to the potty training process. (If not, she shouldn't be running a daycare - IMHO!!!) She should defer to you as the mom on your wishes. Switching back and forth from diapers to undewear is confusing to a toddler. Once you switch, leave him in underwear! Do what is best for your son and his development, not what is most convenient for your mom. Just because something is easier, doesn't make it right.

As far as the big bed, use your best judgement. Maybe not switch at the same time as potty training because it isn't good for a child to be expected to process two 'big' things at once. Just remember: you alone know your son best!

pull ups were a joke for my daughter, did not work one bit. We switched exclusivly to panties and she did awesome. For daycare, I sent her in the plastic training pants and my daycare provider couldn't thank me enough. I also tried my best to set her up for success and told the daycare that as long as they weren't going outside, to not worry about keeping pants on her. Of course we had the little rewards throughout the week when she went all day w/no accidents and then on friday we had movie night if she'd gone all week. Once we got to this point it was a breeze but before the panties, it was pretty much just a joke.

I agree with the Pull Ups being more like diapers. I used Gerber training pants, they are like underwear but have an extra padding in the middle to absorb most of the wetness but it allows them to feel they are wet. I got them at Walmart and Target. They come in packets of 2 and they are washable too.

Babies R Us sells training pants. These are probably what our moms used on us when we were potty-training. They are like thick underwear and some are available with plastic on the outside so their clothes won't get wet. I think the training pants work well because the child will actually feel it if they start to pee.
Good luck!

Maybe see if your mom will give the "potty breaks" idea a try with a timer and if she'll let him wear "big boy underwear" under the pull-ups so he knows they are on and he can feel wet? Just a thought to try to help with the training and not threaten your mom's couches?

I agree that your son is probably ready for underwear. However, I just had to say in defense of your mother, it is hard running a home daycare. I run a daycare as well and we are not just sitting around. We are constantly on the go and it is very hard when it comes to potty-training with all the time it takes to do it. I do not allow kids to wear underwear until they start telling me when they have to go. I have parents start with the pull-ups and each hour, we go potty. Then, once they have that down, I give them the opportunity to tell me and until they grasp that, they stay in pull-ups. I do not have time to continuously clean up accidents nor is it sanitary. I have never had a problem doing it this way. I would start it at home with underwear over a weekend as see how he does. Good luck.

For daytime DEFINITELY do the underwear. It's the only way to reinforce in their brains that they NEED to go in the bathroom instead of their pants. I would recommend making sure that the pants you send him in are easy to pull up and down for him (i.e. no buttons or snaps for the time being). Both my kids would get super frustrated when they couldn't get their own pants down. Maybe your mom can just work "potty break reminders" into her schedule. It may not be something she normally does but if she is providing a day care service then this IS part of the service (or at least I believe it should be). Every day care provider ends up going through potty training with children, so it's unreasonable for her to say she won't do it because it's inconvenient to her. Either she watches your kid and helps in the process or she doesn't. Potty training doesn't just happen at home (i.e. you can't go to work and NOT go to the bathroom for 8 hours).

I agree with you on the pull ups to a degree. Here's why. I don't think at 2 years old a kid has the ability to wake themselves up at night to go to the bathroom. Maybe some do, but not all. Gage your own kid. Mine are deep sleepers. There is NO WAY, I can convince them to get up once they are down. Now, that's not to say after 2 years of having been potty trained my son isn't starting to go in the middle of the night. But I'm just saying it's not consistant. I use the GoodNites on my kids every night. I don't like getting up at 3am to change beds, bathe kids and put them back down. It's a pain in the butt, even if you double make the beds with pads inbetween. You are still disrupting you're sleep and as a working mom, that will get old REALLY quick.

I would say that if he is showing an inclination towards potty training he's certainly ready for a big boy bed. My recommendation on that is unless you are getting a toddler bed for next to nothing, just invest in the regular bed. My kids wouldn't even sleep in the toddler beds because they weren't for "big kids". One set of princess or space sheets and my kids were in LOVE with their big kid beds, even if they had to use step stools to get in them. AND once I GOT them in big kid beds there wasn't any problem getting them OUT of our bed because they now had plenty of room in their own. There are VERY nice bedrails out there for about $25 that will also keep the kiddos from rolling out of their beds. Sorry, if I rambled but just wanted to give you some insight as to what I went through.

the thick, padded training pants & then your Mom can use the plastic pants protectors....this solves both your issues! I insist on this combo for my daycare....I refuse to use pull-ups, because then the child has to be undressed to be changed. & with pull-ups there are A LOT more accidents than with underwear.

After just one or two accidents, both your son & your Mom will remember to use the potty! If this is truly an issue for your Mom, then give her a kitchen timer to help her remind herself. I know this sounds tacky, but your son IS ready....& delaying will create a whole kaboodle of problems later on. & as one of the other posters said, parents have changed daycares over issues like this.

As for the bed, I always find it easier to tackle one issue at a time. Get the potty-training out of the way before making any more transitions. And, you do truly want to be with your son when he potties for the 1st couple of months - that's how you get him trained properly in the manner you expect him to follow. Good luck with your son & your Mom!

Hi K.!

First, I would like to say, WOW! You have a very easy little man to deal with! That is wonderful that he is so eager! Congrats on that!

Secondly, I believe that since he sounds so ready and willing, you should move him right onto undies! Forget the pull-ups. You are right, they are much like diapers, and I think that is why it took so long to get my son potty-trained. I finally got so fed up with his regressions, I took away the pull-ups, gave him undies, and 2 accidents within one week, he was trained. Of course, part of the process of training is reminding them to go. That is all part of it. My son is almost 5 and I still have to remind him to go, because, yes, they do get busy and forget. They NEED us!!

My BIG beef is this....your son is basically trained, and being so, just because he is not at your house, does not mean he is not trained. If he is going to the bathroom when he needs to, and is dry when he wakes, and all that other business...he is trained! But as I said before, he will need reminding, and may need some help in the bathroom. Please, no offense, but if your mother does not want to assume this responsibility when he is in her care, then she shouldn't be a child care provider. When the other kids she is caring for become potty trained, is she going to refuse to take on this responsibilty for them? And if you were taking your son to someone other than your mother for child care, wouldn't you expect that out of them? I think your mother is being selfish, and I feel sorry for your son. He is in full training mode, and she is not willing to be there for him.

This is YOUR child, not hers. It is YOUR decision, not hers. I would put him in underwear, and tell her that you don't want him to regress, and that this is where we want our kids to be. When they are using the pot like they should, that is a great milestone, and she is treting it like a burden.

I wish you all the luck in your situation. And again, congrats!

Skip the pull-ups. Go right to underwear. He will learn quickly to let you know when he has to go.

Congratulations! Definately underwear. I did read the suggestion about Gerber trainer, those are an option. There are also cloth diaper "pull ups" that my children graduate to from (cloth) diapers. You can find them at Cotton Babies (probably other store somewhere?) - you can definately find what you're looking for online! Next point. I too have a daycare and have potty trained more children than I can count (and 4 of my own) - it is certainly not impossible to remind a new pottier. It may take her having a timer, maybe just associating it with something else she does regularly (whenever she changes diapers, as they change activities, etc.) I have had to take the initiative so many times; I'd be thrilled that a parent was picking up the cues and doing the potty thing at home first! :) In my experience the kids have been ready but not the parents - I commend YOU!! :D