Potty Training Is Such a Nightmare!!!!! How Can You Help Me?

Updated on August 09, 2007
S.K. asks from Leander, TX
15 answers

My daughter is 2 and we are glad to say she is smart enough and understands every aspect of the potty training steps.. She has gone poop once on the potty and once she peed in the potty.. She loves to wipe, usually that is all she does and does not do anything else.

She is ready in the fact that she will say poo poo and pee pee, but will not tell me when she needs to go and she does stay pretty dry for long periods of time..

What am I to do..? I really don't know if I should just let it go and not potty train her but she acts soo ready.. and why doesn't she go pee or poop on the potty when I put her on it..???

She loves to flush and is not scared at all.. what else could it be? She is not consipated or embrassed. I have tried to walk out of the room etc, given her applause, pos. feedback even when she doesn't go but wipes and flushes..

any advice would be wonderful!!!

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J.K.

answers from Anchorage on

First I think what Shawn said was great except I personally wouldn't go back to diapers except at night. 2nd. If you are really ready and you think she is ready. I have an idea both my sisters and my stepmom used. All the kids (girls) where potty trained by 2 years old. Mine is only a year and totally not ready for this. You have to have a good sense of humor and a mop bucket though. They let them go around naked for a few days then put them into panties after that. They swear by it. The kids don't like the feeling and they know pretty instantly what has happened then they have to learn to associate and anticipate it. Then you put on the big girl panties. I was not there for any of the training,but like I said they swear by it. (they also didn't have carpet)

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L.B.

answers from Lubbock on

Hi S.,

I'm not sure exactly how old your daughter is: Is she closer to two or closer to three? My daughter started showing an interest in potty training when she was just 18 months. We would let her go before and after bath, but nothing other than that, cause we'd always miss. Then the month when she actually turned two, we attempted it in daycare. We told them she was interested, let's go ahead a give it another try. Well she did great in daycare. Then when she got home, my husband would always immediately put her back in diapers. He said he was afraid she would have an accident. I'm sorry but that is part of potty training. Well then this past weekend we went out of town. She was in a diaper in the car but once we settle at our location I made sure to put her in panties. Target has the cloth diapers that are really like thick panties. We made sure to take her atleast every hour. Even when she told us "no she didn't need to need to" we still asked her to try. I'll tell you she's 28 months now, and she still has her accidents, but she is gradually getting better. They say 3 is when you should start and at four they should be completely. It's really a big step for the parent to be really involved, constantly taking them and showing them how. I now for instance on occasion say I need to go "potty". My daughter looks at me and says "no, my potty". It's great to reward them as well with candy, toys, or even letting them open a present of new panties. Anything to keep them self motivated. Well hope this helps.

L.

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N.L.

answers from Austin on

I have to agree with Allison. There is no magic moment. My three year old just started a few months ago and it's like he's been doing this for a whole year. He knows how to stand up and pee and sit down to poop. Kids understand what you're telling them. They will decide when they're ready. Just bare with them.

L.K.

answers from San Antonio on

Don't be discouraged. Girls are actually easier to train than boys. My little girl went through a whole year of sometimes doing pee or poop and was never really scared either, just not ready. Two weeks before her 3rd birthday, I asked her what she would do if she got underwear as a gift. I said that she would have to start using the toilet so that she could wear her new big girl panties. At her birthday party she was wearing panties and that was that. Now, I'm training my 3 yr. old boy, and he has absolutely no interest. He is a real challenge because he makes man-like poop. I am sooo tired of changing him and we are tired of buying his diapers. We also have a 1yr. old boy. So really, don't be discouraged. Congrats on being brave enough to mention your condition. Not many people are willing to do that because of the stigma but, that's the whole reason for the stigma. You sound comfortable talking about it so you should be as confident in parenting with it. I know that's easy for me to say but, believe me, even without being bipolar, I can assure you; we all have our challenges. You're still young. I had my first at 39 so if you are otherwise healthy then wait until you think your daughter is more independent and you're better able to handle a second child. Why rush into anything?
Good luck.

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C.C.

answers from Wichita Falls on

Maybe she just hasn't associated the feeling with the act yet. If she's in diapers, she may not be uncomfortable when she pees and doesn't realize she's wet. Try wet feel pull ups or panties so she feels the wetness as soon as she starts to pee. Usually takes a couple days to a few weeks for them to really associate the sensation with the act. Good Luck!

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T.L.

answers from Abilene on

I have a three year old daughter who has been potty trained for about a year now. It took me about two weeks to get her completely trained. I know it does sound weird but I also would take my daughter into the bathroom when I had to go and would say "This is how you pee pee like a big girl!" I had to make it sound like a lot of fun so it became something she wanted to do. Also I realized she wouldn't tell me she had to go as much when she had diapers on because she knew she could just go and keep playing. It was a lot of work but I just started putting her in "Big girl panties." She didn't like feeling wet so she started telling me she had to go. Also she was excited about not having to wear a diaper. I would take her to the bathroom and if she didn't go I would take her back every thirty minutes until she would go. After she went I would wait about two hours and then take her again unless she came and told me she needed to go before that. I am now in the process of potty training my second daughter but she really doesn't seem interested. I think I will wait a couple of months and try again. Every child is different and will learn at different stages. Your daughter is showing interest in the potty though and that is a good sign!!! Good Luck!!!

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A.B.

answers from Lubbock on

Honestly, she'll go when she's ready to go. There is no magic moment when all kids are ready to be potty trained. That is really great that she has already gone on the potty. Don't force her too much, it might make her not want to go. Keep everything positive, and she will eventually get ready to go all the time. Keep reinforcing that she needs to tell you when needs to go potty, before she goes potty in her diaper. The more you remind her nicely, the more it sinks in. I would always remind my son when I was having to change his diaper because he did not tell me in time. I would say, "Where are you supposed to go poo poo? Are you supposed to tell Mommy when you have to go potty? Tell mommy before you go poo poo next time." He would always answer me, and I kept my attitude positive, but he understood that that was what was expected of him. Eventually he started to know before he went poo poo, and then he got really good at it. I would also periodically ask him during the day if he needed to go potty. Some times he would say no, and then go in his diaper. So, I started telling him it was time to go potty instead of asking. He just didn't like having to stop playing. That was the only reason he would go in his diaper. So, we just had to start making him stop playing and go to the bathroom. Pooping was a lot harder to master, but now he is a pro. He has even started making it all night in his underwear without peeing. It just takes time. He is 3 1/2 now. He still has accidents at night and very rarely during the day. Good luck.

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S.C.

answers from Austin on

Hi! I used to teach and potty train two year olds at a child care center and gave "potty training workshops" for parents and other teachers! The first thing I would say is be consistent, consistent, consistent! Try leaving some "special" books and toys in the bathroom just for pottying. Second, I would say "model" for her pottying. When you go, have her be in the room with you and say "listen, I'm going potty!" Sounds strange I know...but it works! You didn't mention if she was still wearing diapers or pull-ups, but if she is, put her in real underwear that she has gone to the store and helped you pick out. When you put them on, tell her, we're going to try and keep these dry by going potty in the toilet, but if we have an accident, it's okay cause we'll just change them! If she has several accidents, go ahead and put her in a diaper the rest of the day and tell her that we can try again tomorrow. She won't like the feeling of potty on herself. Diapers and pull-ups help them to feel dry so they just don't understand what the big deal is if they use the bathroom in them. She'll get it! Be patient and have a lot of humor in the process! Hope this helps!

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G.P.

answers from Abilene on

Get her some panties and pulls up for night time and have at it. It's tuff but they catch on quick once they pee on themselves. Thye know what yucky is. Just make sure you buy lots of panties!!! :) good luck and congrats to your baby for her accomplishment!

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R.

answers from San Antonio on

My daughter was the same way when she turned 2, but it took her another several months before she was consistantly able to tell us when she had to go. I would just let her maintain the current routine and soon she will be able to really know and be able to communicate the need to go. Also, when she finally is completely potty trained, make sure you know the location of every restroom in every public place you go! Good luck.

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A.S.

answers from San Antonio on

Maybe you should wait a little longer for her to develop a little more. She may not get the significance just yet but she may just be able to understand that there is something that she needs to be doing on the potty. I have a boy that will be 2 in November. I have always heard that boys are harder to potty train. There are some books out there that my friends have told me about. If you want to email me personally i can give you the names of them. Good Luck Girlie!!!

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J.P.

answers from Wichita Falls on

She may be smart and understand the concept, but is she mature enough to actually do it??? Sounds to me like she will most definitely be an early trainer but I would not push her. Keep giving her access to using a big girl potty and praise and when she's ready to tackle this milestone she will. Good luck!

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J.B.

answers from Abilene on

Whatever you do, do not put her back in diapers because it will set her back. Put her in panties and in a few days she will eventually go to the toilet because she will be so tired of going to the bathroom on herself. Do not have another child until you are completely certain you are ready. It is so hard when you have 2 babies running around. I know because I have a 3-year-old and a 1-year-old. They are both girls. I was totally not expecting the second one and it has been a struggle. I would at least wait until your first one is in some kind of preschool. Good luck on the potty training!

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V.B.

answers from San Antonio on

The good news is she is willing and trying with the understanding of how it works. However she is only two and maybe need more practice.Does she wear under pants? or pull ups? Given that she does not go in the potty and has poooh acidents might wanna consider keeping her in pull ups. My eldest son ( who is five now)was my first potty training experience. My mom and family made me feel presures,along with the expense of diapers. So I got easily discouraged when Morgan truned 3 and still was wearing pull ups, soon there after asked his ped doc. morgan's doctor explained that its ok for kiddos to take time as long as they learn by four. Right around the time Morgan turn 3 and a half he was in his first pair of under pants. He just up and started going one day on his own.

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A.S.

answers from Lubbock on

I have a couple of things you might try.You can try reading or singing to her.Sometimes they are just a little nervous about it and that seems to make them more comfortable.Alsoyou might try using the big girl potty while she uses the little potty.Kids love to act like grown ups and if she sees you do it she might want to do it to.And more thing you could try putting panties on under her pull up or diaper.Diapers are so absorbent sometimes kids cant feel when they are wet.This alows themm to feel the wetness without soaking their clothes.Hope some of this helps.Lots of luck

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