Realistic Expectations for Potty Training...

Updated on June 28, 2010
J.M. asks from Gurnee, IL
20 answers

I hate to ask yet another potty training question, but I'm hoping you wonderful mommas can share your experiences with me. I am just wondering about a general timeline for potty training...for example, how long did it take your child to become fully trained for peeing vs. pooping (did pooping take a lot longer or did it happen at the same time?), as well as how long was it before he/she was totally dry overnight. Also, if you followed an intense program (like the 1 day or 3 day method), did it stick?

I know every child is different, but I want to have realistic expectations for potty training my daughter and just wanted to hear what your experiences have been... whether it took 2 days or 2 years, I'd love to hear your thoughts! Thanks!

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So What Happened?

P.S. My daughter is 2 and a half and is starting to go on the potty 3 or 4 times a day. She has previously randomly shown interest in the potty, but I also have a 15 month old, so I'll be honest in saying that I wasn't exactly looking forward to the potty training! :)

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R.D.

answers from Boston on

I didn't push my son at all. I'd ask him periodically if him wanted to use the potty and he'd sit on the potty sometimes but never really showed interest (Though I was certainly ready for him to!!).
Then when he was 3 years and 2 mos old we were at his cousin's house and my son watched his cousin pee in the potty. Right then and there my son pulled his pants down and went for the first time (hallelujah!). Then I basically kept his bottom naked for the next few days and it was done. He pooped on day two and the following week he wore underwear to bed. It really happened fast with almost no accidents.
I've watched a few of my friends try the intense programs and they definitely had lots of regression and accidents. It seems like a lot of work. They started the processes well before me (same age kids) and my son was "potty trained" before them.
The other plus about waiting is that my son was able to go on the regular potty-no cleaning out kiddie potties :)
My daughter is now 2 yrs 2mos and I'm at that point where every time I order diapers I dreamily wonder, "Maybe this will be the last order...." But I see she's not ready-so I wait ;)

Good Luck!

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G.B.

answers from Tulsa on

My response would differ if discussing boys vs girls, the ages of the children would influence my answers too. Please give more information.

If you go back and read all questions about night time dryness then you will see a LOT of information about children not being able to stay dry at night until much older, Sometimes 10 years old. Potty success is very individual. My 6 yr. old girl is wet every night and wears a pull up. My 3 yr. old boy is dry nearly every morning.

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L.S.

answers from New London on

My son turned 3 in May. With my son I started at 18 months with his own Bjorn potty. We just got excited about the potty. He loved it and would go sit on it and we would say wooohooo. POTTY!! YEA!!! etc. He got a chocolate chip if he pooped in the potty. and if he peed we would sing, peepee in the potty, peepee in the potty. It only took about a week with the chocolate chips and then we stopped using them. He was potty trained by 20 months and standing to pee by 24 months. Don't get me wrong, there were days where he would still pee in his pants... but it was because he was too busy playing to go to the potty. I didn't make a big deal about it at all. I just said, oops, next time use the potty. You don't want to be all wet. We used pull-ups when traveling and out of the house and for naps. After a couple of months we got him the bjorn potty that sits in the regular toilet and a stool to stand on. Last summer at 2 years and 3 months he started to poop in his pull-up again because he was too busy playing, so I bribed him with popsicles. I told him when you poopoo in the potty you can have a popsicle and it worked. He was back to going on the potty after about a week. When he was two and half he stopped wearing pull-ups in the car and a couple of months ago he stopped wearing pull-ups for naps. He still wears a regular diaper to bed because there really is no such thing as nite time potty training, it is something they have to outgrow. Good luck!

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J.O.

answers from Chicago on

I started trying with my 3 year old son and he showed minimal interest. After a few weeks and a couple episodes of peeing on the floor and furniture, we went back to pull-ups. I tried a couple months later and it clicked and he was totally trained in a month for poo and pee (dry at night about 95 % of the time). He's almost four and he has an occasional accident when he's playing outside. Once he knew the feeling of needing to pee or poop, we were home free. I didn't get too worried and was pretty relaxed about the process. I didn't really care if he wanted to wear pull-ups til he was 4 but he made the choice!

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M.W.

answers from Boise on

My twins took a year and a few months to potty train because they didn't care and I did!!!!! BTW they are both girls and they wet the bed for a long time (years) after being trained.

My last took about a month, and that was me not doing anything but being excited when she used the potty. I waited for her to be interested and then let her figure it out on her own. #2 is harder so I gave her potty prizes for #2 and M&Ms for #1. About the same time she was dry at night.

And I wanted to add that pull-ups didn't work with any of them. They just used them like diapers!

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B.F.

answers from Chicago on

My son was a very slow. He finally peed in the potty by age 3, but still had a hard time using the potty for pooing. He used the big toilet for poo when he was almost four but we still used Pull up pants for night time until he was almost 5 1/2. I know he was late but I just couldn't deal with the accidents all the time so I decided to just let him take the lead and let me know when he was ready.

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C.G.

answers from Chicago on

My ped told me that you can wait until your child is ready and she'll pick it up in a week, or you can torture yourself with schedules, rewards and other program tactics and have it take months. No doubt, eventually they will get there. It's not like they'll be 20 and in diapers! So it really comes down to how easy or difficult do you want it to be.

My ped also told me that most children are not trained until they are 3 or close to. This helped me not to set unrealistic expectations and avoid frustration. My daughter was 2 months shy of her 3rd bday when we went for it, and you know what, my ped was exactly right - she picked it up in a week. Less than a week actually. And I'm not just talking pee on the potty, pooping too and staying dry all night. By the end of that week, we were diaper free.

I tackled the training by using the "no pants" method. For training her to pee, I put her in pants sans diaper. She did wet herself a little a couple of times, but it didn't take long for her to recognize what it felt like when she needed to go. For pooping, we took her pants off all together. I had her running around bare bottomed. She started to poop once and realized, uh oh, no diaper! So running to the toilet we went! After that, she recognized the sensation you get when you need to poop and she was off to the races whenever the need arose! I know I am making it sound like it was super easy, but it actually was! And I think that's because she was truly ready. She WANTED it to work too.

So, at the end of the day, my advice to you is to let your child be your guide. If your daughter seems ready, go for it. But if it is taking you longer than a week or so to get her with the program, take a break and try again in another month or so. And believe me, life with diapers is not that bad! Once they're potty trained, you've got to be ready for them to have to hit the bathroom in any and all situations - car rides, at the mall, out to dinner, or when you're in the middle of cooking at home. And...you still have to wipe their butt for them when they poop, so you're not getting out of that much work, lol! What I'm say is potty training is a great milestone, but if it doesn't happen as quickly as you want it to, take comfort in knowing that there is major convenience in diapers!

Good luck!

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L.O.

answers from Detroit on

I have 2 kids.. both trained--- both different..

My daughter was poop trained first.. 2 years and 2 months.. I cwould catch her pooping and run her to the potty.. it took maybe a week. then she was fine.. but she couldnot pull up pants wipe and all of that.. when it was time to pee train.. I put her in cotton panties nad told her not to pee on Dora.. she peed on dora 3 times.. and that was it.. she got it and never had accidients.. she was totally dry in 3 days..

My son was pee trained first.. it took 3 days.. again we used cotton undies.. he peed many many times a day many pairs of wet undies.. but on the 3rd day he got it and was totally dry. He was afraid to poo on the potty and that took 2 weeks.. he still doesnt like to poo on the potty but he does.

dont buy pull ups.. waste of money and time.. my duaghter calls them panty diapers..

both kids are still in diapers at night still wet many nights..

when you are ready buy her panties and she will quickly learn that pee in panties runs down legs.. yuck yuck..

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T.T.

answers from Chicago on

I have potty trained many children ( worked in a 2 year old room at a daycare) as my own. My own child actually potty trained herself. Each child is different BUT when they are ready they do it quickly. If its taking you weeks and your child isnt getting it that means your child wansnt ready. dont worry about overnight right now that can take years

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A.M.

answers from Chicago on

My daughter started at 2, then got bored and we stopped trying for a few months. At 2 and a half we got a singing potty - it sings when the pee or poop hits the bottom of the pot, that was a great success. Still it took another 4-5 months until we really had it all down. Poop was the hold up so to speak. It took her quite a while before she would do that routinely on the pot. Even now at 3 1/4 we still have some accidents. I need to really insist on her going even if she says she doesn't need to. And when I am insisting because it has been a few hours since she went, she really does need to go and plenty of pee comes out. Now and then I hear about a child who does it all in a week but I think that is the exception. Good Luck.

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J.V.

answers from Chicago on

I started with my daughter at 16 months as she was showing lots of signs. At 18 months she was in trainers. At 22 months she finally pooped trained --once she went in the potty once, she had one more accident, and then she was done. By 23 months, she was done, including night training. She is now 27 months and has the very occasional "Explosion" accident --she waits too long and then ends up going pee in the bathroom while she is trying to get her pants down.

I read it takes 5 months after day training for night training to finish for most children. My daughter was dry at night off and on for a good 3 months before she "finished." I also read that accidents are to be expected for upwards to 8 months to 2 years.

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J.W.

answers from Chicago on

When our daughter showed signs of interest around 2, we had the potty out so she could sit on it and try it out. Then, at 2-1/2, we potty trained her over Labor Day weekend. It probably took a week for her to be potty trained for pee but pooping was a bit more of a struggle - she would wait and wait and then have these really large stools that hurt her so we started doing a rewards system with her. That probably took about a month to get absolutely right. In the meantime, she still wore pull-ups at naps and bedtime. We stopped using pull-ups at nighttime around 8 months later (we waited so long because we had a second baby and didn't want her to regress). I know every child is different and we'll see how my son does when he hits that milestone! Good luck!

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K.M.

answers from Chicago on

Each child is different. I have 4 children and they were so totally different. My 19 year old took only 1-2 months. He started a new preschool in the middle of potty training and that was all it took for him. My 7 year old took only a week and completely trained (peeing/pooping and overnight). It was one week where I had nothing to do except work with him. My 5 and 3 1/2 year old took almost a year. Still working on my 3 1/2 year old with the pooping issue. Don't think it will only take X amount of time--you set yourself up for disappointment and frustration. Your child will let you know their timing. Our timing doesn't work. Hope this helps. Good luck.

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S.L.

answers from Chicago on

I agree to wait until they are ready. My oldest trained completely (day/night/poop/pee) in one day. After that she had only 4 accidents. She was one week shy of 3 but she wanted to do it, not me.

My youngest took a bit longer because she wanted to control the process. She trained, then decided that she wanted diapers again. I, unfortunately gave in and we had to retrain again. The second time took just a day or two and we never looked back. She took a bit longer on night training but had it down a week or two later.

Definitely wait until she is ready. It's a piece of cake then.

Sue

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C.D.

answers from Chicago on

We used the 3 day potty training method by Lora Jensen when my daughter was 3 months shy of 3 years old. It was awesome. The 3 days of staying in the house and filling her with fluids really helped her to recognize the sensations of needing to go to the bathroom. She was fully trained night and day by the end of the 3 days. A couple nighttime accidents within the next two weeks and now she will go months between accidents. I highly recommend this method. It was hard, but very fast. I also want to add I did this with her when her brother was 5 months old. Good luck! Check out the e-book at www.3daypottytraining.com.

C.

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K.J.

answers from Springfield on

I agree with TT and Chris G, if you wait until your child is really ready they potty train in just a few days. When parents complain of stressful potty training, it always makes me wonder if the child is truly ready to train. I have 3 children, the oldest was literally trained in 1 day. We waited until he was ready, put him in cloth underwear for the day and told him not to potty on spiderman. He never had an accident! We used diapers at night for a week but he wasn't happy about having to take his spiderman undies off so after a week of dry diapers we allowed him to wear his undies to bed. No accidents! My second child, a daughter, was much harder. She was in daycare at the time and they insisted she start potty training. I knew she wasn't ready but her daycare teacher kept insisting. After a stressful several weeks, we gave up, put the potty chair away and put the diapers back on. We waited a few months and tried again. Much easier that time, she didn't even mess with the potty chair that time and insisted on using the big potty. She trained in just a couple days and it took a couple weeks for use to be sure of the night time training. I think it was more our fear of night time accidents though rather than her actually needing to wear the diaper at night. My third child is 2 1/2 and I don't think he is ready yet. I was hoping to train him this summer while my other kids are out of school but I don't think it will happen. He may end up being almost 3. He doesn't seem to be in a rush.

The most important thing, I think, is that its not a stress process for the child. Wait until he/she is ready, otherwise it will be much harder. And remember, a child never goes to college in diapers. :-) It will happen eventually.

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N.D.

answers from Columbus on

My son will be 3 in Sept. I decided to potty train him approx. three weeks ago. He was potty trained pee/poo in 1 day!!!! I saw a clip on the "Today" show three years ago when I was potty training my other son, which was potty trained in two days, regarding potty training in just 5 hours by Wendy Sweeney. It is actually called Booty Camp and she has this at her house. Basically you tell the child what you expect out of them and that if they need to go pee or poo they must go to the potty. If they decide to pee or poo on the floor then it is their responsibility to clean up the mess (of course with parents help) and take the dirty clothes to the clothes basket. This is allowing the child to be in control of their own body. You never ask the child if they have to go potty, you allow them to make that decision. At first I was a little reluctant, but it really does work. The first day we had a lot of accidents at first, but by 5pm on that very first day, my son was going potty all by himself. You can look up Booty Camp online. I used this technique with both of my boys and had huge success! I hope this is helpful. Good luck!

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J.P.

answers from Chicago on

I started with my older son right after his first birthday - but it was only introducing him to the little potty and letting him sit on it once in a while and applauding him when he actually did something in it! It was not until 1 month after his 3rd birthday that he wore underwear. From the time he was 2 1/2 until he turned 3, I tried various things like - walk around the house naked (horrible), rewards charts (he couldn't care less!), and just getting rid of diapers - no pull-ups. People told me to relax and wait 'til he was ready - but I thought 3 was just too old and I was panicking as he approached that birthday. People were right, though, b/c I started to relax and he really did wake up one morning and say, "I don't want to wear diapers anymore." We stopped wearing pull-ups at night a couple months later b/c he was always dry in the morning.

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H.S.

answers from Cincinnati on

Everyone told me that girls are soooo easy! Well, not my daughter. We started training at 2 years and 10 months, and it look 6 very long obnoxious months!!! I am convinced that she did not feel the urge. She would sit on the potty for 5 minutes, nothing would happen, she'd walk out into the living room look up at me a pee all over the floor. One day it just clicked. She recognized the urge, and started peeing and pooping all at once. I have a 2 year old boy who shows zero interest, so we'll see!

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M.O.

answers from Chicago on

You're right that each kid is different. With mine, pooping was first, because it is more predictable, infrequent. Staying dry at night was different for each of my kids. One never wet after being potty trained during the day (2.5 years old), the other wet the bed until age 9 or 10. Peeing during the day is dependent on parent involvement and planning. Have the child go frequently and always before leaving the house and right before bed. Good luck and don't stress about potty train g. It will happen.

Updated

You're right that each kid is different. With mine, pooping was first, because it is more predictable, infrequent. Staying dry at night was different for each of my kids. One never wet after being potty trained during the day (2.5 years old), the other wet the bed until age 9 or 10. Peeing during the day is dependent on parent involvement and planning. Have the child go frequently and always before leaving the house and right before bed. Good luck and don't stress about potty train g. It will happen.

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