Seeking Some Good Advice for Potty Training!!

I *just* finished potty training my 2.5 yr old girl. Pull-ups were no different than diapers for her. What worked for us was doing it the old fashioned way and letter her run around with nothing on her bottom. I had to just be on the ball and take her to the potty every couple of hours to "try" to pee pee. When she'd need to poo poo she'd say "Mommy I need my diaper on" - so that was my cue to put her on the potty with a book. After a few days we progressed to panties. There were a few accidents and I'd just be dramatic "Oh no! Princess Jasmine got all wet! She doesn't want to be wet! Make sure you tell mommy next time so Princess Jasmine doesn't get wet!" I'd say within a week she was fully potty trained.

Another trick I figured out for poopoo...when she was in diapers she'd always go hide in one room. I moved her potty chair in that room and that did the trick, she started pooping on the potty. Turned out she wanted the privacy. So I'd sit her down with a book and told her to call for me when she was done. Not long after, she wouldn't even get me to help her, she'd go in the room pull her pants down and poop and then call for me.

I wish you the best of luck, have patience and it'll happen! You just have to figure out what works for your child.

1 mom found this helpful

I didn't think I would ever get my son potty trained. We finally resorted to letting him go naked at hame. If he had on underwear or a pullup he peed in it. If he was naked he used the potty. Go figure! A friend also told me to put Froot Loops in the toilet to aim at. Good Luck! B.

Hey S.! Don't get too discouraged. I have potty-trained two boys, now 4 and 5 years old. My oldest boy was a cinch to potty train. My sister also has two boys who are a few months older than my son and when he saw them pee-peeing in the potty something clicked in him that that was the way it was done. Then came my second son. We tried many times to potty train him, but he has a very strong personality to say the least. We tried everything from giving him money to giving him candy, but his personality is stubborn and he just does not respond well to incentives like shiny quarters or m&m's...go figure! The turning point for him was the week before he turned 3 years old and I would take him to the bathroom every 30 minutes, kicking and screaming all the way until he finally decided that he was not going to win and I was not going to let him pee in his underwear! (We also put a childs potty in the living room and made him sit on it every 30 minutes while he watched his favorite cartoons...we watched a lot of TV that week!). I believe this all was this combination that worked for him. Now onto the poo-poo. My son would wear his underwear around until his tummy began to hurt. When he thought he might have to poopy, he would run to his room and get a pull-up. Although I knew that HE KNEW what he was doing, I gave into him because I was exhausted from it all. Finally, after a week I said to him, "you need to poopy in the potty, because I am not going to put a pull-up on you again", and let him see me put his poopy from his pull-up in the potty "where it is supposed to go." I would then place him on the potty and he could not get up for 3 minutes. After a week or so, he got it and has wet the bed only one time since. Hope this helps, Good luck! -A.

I had some similar issues with my daughter. She would pee pee in the potty, but insisted on a diaper to poop. We did what the doc recommended...always offer the potty, but if she requested a diaper, put one on her. We then explained that she must poop in the bathroom. We started with letting her stand, then she had to sit (where was her choice...she chose the bathroom scale most of the time). The next step was to sit on the potty with the diaper. She did this for weeks, but we couldn't get past it. We cut a hole in the diaper and she did that, but refused to try pooping on the potty without a diaper. She even announced one day, "I'm never pooping ever again!" Well, she did hold it for two days...she has amazing bowel control! She would even hold her pee for fear of pooping. We didn't want her to hurt herself so we tried giving her a diaper again, but she refused. Finally, one afternoon my husband took her to pee and the poop just came out. She's been out of diapers completely since then. Everyone kept telling me you have to just wait until they're ready. I know it's hard to hear (I heard this for 9 months), but they were right. You can't make them do it. Of course, you have to teach them where and how, but then you have to just offer the potty and wait for them to be ready. Good luck!

As I mentioned before I edited this, I like to let children potty train at their own pace. However, since he has to be potty trained for the program you want to put him in,...I'll see if I can give you some useful advice. It sounds like you are doing all the right things. Don't give up. For my oldest son, I set a timer and took him to the bathroom to try (every time it beeped) even if he didn't think he needed to go. It was tedious to take him so many times, but it helped him stay aware of his potty training. If possible, have your mom let him go naked from the waist down during the day (and stay in rooms with easy to clean floors). He will become very aware very quickly of his potty needs. You could also try rewards like a trip to McDonalds or the Dollar Store or the park (etc) if he poops in the potty twice. You could give him stickers on a chart (or M&Ms) each time he attempts to use the bathroom, even if he is unsuccessful, and of course, make a big deal out of any successes. That's all I can think of right now. Good luck.

I am going through the same thing with my 3 year old. She does great when we aren't at home, but at home she pees in her pants. So yesterday I tried the M&M suggestion someone put on mamasource the other day and she stayed dry all day yesterday! I hope she will keep it up! Good luck! I know it is so frustrating!!!!!

I would start by taking a break from any mention of potty training for about a month. Your son is getting a lot of attention from his misbehavior over all pottying issues and he could be continuing the behavior exactly for that reason. He should only be in diapers. No pants or pull-ups. Those are for big kids and he is not one yet.

Boys are typically slower at potty training than girls. However, boys want to go to the bathroom on their own at some point - don't forget this. Something is going to come along at some point that he will want to do. It will be something that you can tell him only big boys get to do. Like wearing pull-ups. Like wearing clothes without buttons in the crotch. Like many activities. When he wants to move forward in these other areas I think you and your dh should sit him down and tell him that only big kids can do this or have that. And that he has shown you he is not ready for this or that because he is not using the potty and that is what babies do. Tell him you know he will be ready for this or that when he starts to use the potty. And leave it at that.

Every time he comes up with another request that a big kid would get to do, sit him down again and tell him about the potty issue. Also tell him that as soon as he is ready to go to the potty he can. It is up to him.

Don't let this become an all-encompassing issue for your family. Kids, even little ones, tend to dig in when they feel they have no choices. Hope this helps, S.

The book "Toilet Training in Less than A Day" (about $7 at Borders, etc)was recommended to me and I used it, and in one day....done! Every person I have recommended the book to has had success. It is a rough day, but worth it. The book was written in the 70's so it is a little funny to read in today's time, but do exactly what it recommends and you will have success. I know so many that have used the book and I know of no failures. You will need to buy a doll that will wet. And some techniques may seem a little rough, like making him practice pulling pants up and down that are wet, but THAT is what makes it work. Good luck!

We used Cheerios in the potty. For boys it's a lot of fun to sink them. Once their pee pee hits their target it sinks, so it's like a game. Just leave a zip lock bag of them on the back of the toilet and toss in one or two at a time. Worked like a champ for us. Good Luck

S.,

Oh the Joy's of potty training. First let me say that I had one trained at 18 months -her idea! My son trained at 26 month -very uneventful. And my last one, IQ of 142, was in kindergarden still wetting her panties! So what did I learn? Each child potty traines in relationship to their personality and "driving style" The first to potty train so young continues to achieve and push herself in her life. But she was the last born and had her brother and sister to "MODEL" her behavior after. She always wanted to be like her big sister and so potty training was what big girls do so she wanted to be like her sister-so she wanted to potty train quick.

My son was easy going and just followed what he was shown(duckies-candy for a peepee orpoopoo etc.) But the last one I worried about so much. When I asked the school to put her in readiness because she was still wetting her pants at school and sucking her thumb they said "YOUR daughter can read and write, she knows her numbers and can add and subtract we can not put her in readiness we have children that can't even recognize their letters, NO she must go to first grade.'

So I went to the school counsler and asked what to do with our "wet pants little lady' I was worried that in the first grade she would become the butt of jokes and cruel children. She asked me what did I do when she wet or messed in her pants and I told her I just quickly cleaned her up and let her go about her business. She told me that my daughter has no desire to change her current behavior pattern for her wet pants. She is busy with learning or playing and wetting herself is not an issue in her life at this point. This child was always engrossed in learning. So she told me, if she has an accident you just take care of it for her and she goes about her merry little way. "Next time you take her to the bathroom and say, Honey you have a mess in your pants please clean yourself up and then leave her alone to do it!.. WELL!!! I can tell you that once the "mess" was something that was interferring with her busy day she saw to it to change her lazy bathroom habits. Now when she was too busy in thought to stop and go potty her thought about having to clean herself up far outweighted her desire to continue to keep playing which was learning at her age and her brain was always yearning to learn. So within 3 weeks she never had a another wet or dirty accident!

I thought I was doing a good thing by cleaning her up and not making a big point out of her accidents but in reality I was hindering her from success. I know your child is three but the fact that he verbalizes to you about his accident means he is cognitive (Smart) enough to clean himself when you stop doing it for him. It will take a strong will of yours to let him "Clean" himself because it gets messy on the floor and maybe the towels but it will stop if you allow him to experience the conquenses or his actions. remember NO CONQUENCE---NO CHANGE!!!

I knowof another child that could not stand to HEAR the POTY water flush so he owuld not poo poo or pee pee in the potty. She his mom just got a little potty and put his favorite books next tot he "QUIET potty and it worked.

Youare trying to realize why he is continuing to wet and poo onhimslef when he clearly does not like the smell" Once you know the WHY you can change the outcome of hime messing and wetting on himself. If he refusssed to clean himself just say the house rule s are that you can not come out of the bathroom "DIRTY or WET so get vusy and walk away. You can say see Mommy and Daddy follow the house rules we alwys come out of the bathroom clean and dry. Stand FIRM it is in his best interest!

You are a good mother you have tried everything for him NOW let him try for himself. I know you love your child and remember I don't know anyone that still wears diapers! Everyone finally potty trains. SO relax and help him by letting him help himself change his behavior. The next time and from then on when he comes to you and says, BOO BOO stinks Mommy" say "Yes Honey Boo Boo does stink and now you must clean the stinky BOO BOO up!" Take him to the bathroom and let him clean himself and put on a clean pair of thich training pants. Have wipes nd clean pants and a trash can ready for him. At the end of the day you can give him a good bath so you will not have any rash issues. It will take a while -3 weeks- but it will work. Be patient don't give in and go and SAVE HIM. He is three! You want the best for him! You have tried conventional ideas and you child is responding to your actions. You have trained him to bring his dirty issue to you and you will take care of it. STOP! If you had a dog that kept pooing in the house and you told your husband to clean it up and each time he did --- what is the incentive for you say NO NO HONEY I WANT TO CLEAN IT UP FOR YOU! There is not incentive for your son to change his behavior.
I can tell you love your child so let him have this opportunity to grow.
Remember a tired Mommy is and grumpy Mommy so get some rest.

Aunt Cindy

You may be doing these things already, but with my son 3.5 years right now- it was tiny steps at a time. The real question is does he understand what he is doing. Can he pee pee in the potty and just refuses to? Or does that need to be the first step. We used the rewards system for each baby step. So lets say that just getting him to go in the potty is the first step. he would get an MnM for just sitting on the potty. When he is used to that and almost expects his reward/treat, then you nudge him into the next step. "No candy until you can pee pee in the potty", he will always resist the next step. But once he does it by accident in the potty from just sitting there, or finally gives in and gets his reward he will start to put it together and do it to get the reward. I think our steps went something like this:
1. Pee in the potty (He would be in pull ups/diaper and we would take him every 30-45 minutes and slowly move to every hour later) candy for just going.
2. Big reward for telling us he needs to go
3. Wearing underwear and having to feel and deal with the accidents ( no candy for accidents)
4. Running to the potty or making an attempt to get there got a reward
5. Making it home or to the potty from the car got aa big reward (that was a hard one for us, something about him being strapped int eh chair, he wouldn't tell us)
6. once peeing was becoming more consistent, moving to poop, sitting on the potty in the morning and at night after meal time (when his normal bowel movements are) and learning to wait.
The beg turning point for me was realizing that he was saving it for the diaper- he understood, he just was being resistant. I remember him saying he needed a diaper so he could poop and at that point, it the option was taken away. I found they have to have the accidents to realize the potty is a better option. Hope this helps. It took us a full year and I still can't beleive his is fully trained- well worth all the work. Of course he still wears a pull up at night.
2.

Just be consistant. That is the biggest key. My son is 3 1/2 and was 7 weeks early. He is perfectly normal except he is underweight. I gave my son an M&M every time he went and made a really big deal out of it. During the summer he was very busy and had a really hard time taking the time to stop to go peepee, so we started letting him go outside on the porch. I would ask him if he could pee on that flower in the yard and usually he would. (Keep in mind we live about a mile from our nearest neighbor.) When winter came I told him it was too cold and his willis would freeze, so he started going in the potty. If your son gets the potty thing when he goes in the bathtub, why not let him go in the bathtub for a while until he gets it figured out. Then after a month or more tell him the ducky is taking a bath in there or the water might come on and get him all wet. My son still will not go poop every time in the potty, but when he does we look at a John Deere desk calendar (all 365 pages). He loves to read and LOVES JOHN DEERE tractors, so it is perfect for him. I also keep a stash of coins and I let him put them in his piggy bank when he goes poop in the potty. When he happens to go poop in his pants (or when he used to go peepee in them), I did not make a big deal about it. My theory is that EVERYONE will eventually learn how to go potty. Try not to get upset in front of him as it only causes him to be sad, too. Try not to get angry...I promise HE WILL FIGURE IT OUT.

L.

This could be a tick. I would see your pediatrician and find out what the cause is. I used to nanny some children that had different ticks, one would scruntch his face and the other would blink. It's not a big deal, and many times children grow out of it. Of course it could be other things too, so seeing your doctor would be the best thing to do.

There are some great books out their and you'll find most of the say don't shame or punish a child...boys sometimes take longer then girls I have 3 boys and it's taken longer then any of my friends I have talked about their girls. It's ok that they take a little longer girls are ahead in alot of areas so why not this area as well. My boys have been to a few different pre schools and many other moms are in your shoes many boys do much better at 4 yr old after off on training during age 3. Best wishes to you.

Hi S.,

I was just looking up some medical questions that I had and found a site by a Dr. that had some info on your topic. Check it out. www.askdrwarren.com

Hi S.! Sounds to me like your son is still just a wee bit too young for potty training. He'll get it, so just be patient. Rewards worked for both of my kids. They would get an M&M when they went in the potty, and did not get one if they didn't go in the potty. Keep the diaper off during the day, and have your daycare person follow the regimen that you want. When you get to the point where you're using big boy underpants at night, you'll need a plastic cover for his mattress, because he will wet the bed at night. Protect the mattress, change the sheets, and get him back in the bed when that happens. Warm weather is better for potty training, because you can play outside and if he wets his pants, it's not all over your carpet. It gets easier, I swear! B. H

Both my children were potty trained in a matter of a weekend at 2. I will share with you what we did and see if it helps. With my youngest, my mother bought her some beautiful frilly, pink panties with her name embrodered on them. She made a really big deal over them when she gave them to my daughter as a gift. My daughter had one accident and was so devistated that she went to the potty every time after. With my son- he was a HUGE Scooby-Doo fan. We put him in Scooby undies and reminded him not to tinkle on Scooby or he would be really sad. We did remind our children ever hour or so to go try to potty- even if they didn't think they needed to go. We dedicated our every moment to potty training. We did not go out to dinner and made them sit on the potty afer they had anything to drink. I felt like all we did was stay in, but it did not give the temptation for ME to put them in diapers just so we could go somewhere. We did have them in a very supportive day care at the time, and that was a big help. I made up my mind that once we were done with diapers, that was it! No diapers in the house- just like we did with bottles.

Give it a try. Accidents do happen, but if they happen on "someone" he really likes (Barney, Scooby, Bob the Builder, etc.) it may give him the inclination to go on the potty.

Good Luck!!!!

I actually had one I had to let run around without a diaper or pants. They were WAY less likely to poop or pee on the floor than in those protective panties!

Hi S.,
Fortunately for me, my son was not too difficult to potty train. My daughter is a different story. Working on that right now. Books and games or singing songs only during the pooping time seems to be working for her. But for the peeing in the right place issue... have you ever heard of a peter potty? It's a urinal for boys. It even flushes. You can find it almost anywhere on line like Target. It may be a start to helping him pee the right places. We lived in CA when my son was potty training and had a privacy fence around our backyard. We let him be free but explained that big boys pee in the potty in the house and tons of me acting crazy with excitement got him feeling good about doing it right. I always acted upset and sad when I had to change a pull up and it made him want to do the right thing. I know some parents might say it was wrong but he was potty trained before he was two and a half. Good luck!!

Dont worry they all learn just at different speeds. My son didnt even start until he turned three. I started a pee / poop chart and gave him stickers everytime he did it. One for pee and three for poop. At everyturn in the train track my son got a little present and at the top of the train track he picked a big present. He never made it up the train track after two-three weeks he stopped caring about the stickers and just moved onto being potty trained. I still gave him the big present about two months later when i realized he was doing so well.

Hi S.!
I have an 11 year old son and a 16 year old daughter. My daughter was very easy to train, but my son was so busy playing he did not want to stop long enough to take a bathroom break. I placed my son on a bathroom schedule (with book or toy in hand to keep him on the toilet) and rewarded him for staying on the potty at least 10- 15 minutes and "doing his business". You may even want to place a timer there so he will know when to call you for him to get up. My son's reward would be a handfull of skittles or a walk to the park....whatever floats his boat! He did not receive a reward without sitting for 10 - 15 minutes. Try this, and my prayer is that it works out for you!
Sincerely
P. Y. Martin
Martin Maximum Mediation, LLC
Family & Relationship Coach
email: ____@____.com

I have a 3 year old who just turned 3 in January. He started going potty about a year ago to pee only but stopped when I got far in my last pregnancy. He then started back going pee pee in the potty on his own but refused to poop. I would sometimes let him go without pull-ups or underwear when we were home and watch for cues or put him on the potty often. He started going on his own but would not poop. What worked for us was it was on day 3 with him not pooping because he wanted to put on a pull up or underwear to go in it and I wouldn't let him. So on day 3 I gave him a suppository because I thought he was probably constipated at that point and watched him since they work fast. He was going crazy looking for a pull-up. So I sat him on the potty and squatted in front of him and hugged him. He cried but sat there. After that one time going he has went in the toilet ever since. So maybe you can try letting him wear nothing at home and watch for cues. Don't know how you feel about using a suppository but it will cause him to have to go usually within 5 minutes if he hasn't been in awhile and you can sit him on the potty.

I've potty trained 7 children myself and helped in the potty training of about 13 others. M&Ms, Smarties, or Reese's Pieces are wonderful thing in potty training. When your son goes to the potty and actually leaves a deposit, then give him 1 piece of the candy. If he sits and does nothing, he gets nothing. Instead of training pants, try getting him big boy briefs like his dad. Put the briefs on him and only use diapers or pull ups at bed time. If he wets the briefs, change him into a dry pair. If he has to poo poo, tell him he's not getting a diaper, that he has to do it in the potty. He'll get the idea then and start following through. It's going to take a lot of patience on your part to do this because you are asking him to basically change his lifestyle. Be understanding and consistant and it will happen. And BTW, for the wet pee pee spots on the carpet, just toss on some baking soda. The baking soda will absorb not only the urine but the odors as well.
I hope this helps.

I have three boys 6, 5 and 2. They will do it when they are ready. I would put it off until he is 3. Some don't train until they are 3 1/2. This has been my experience.
He's just not ready. When they are ready they will do it in 2-3 days!
S.

potty training for me was easy. of course i have girls. i hear they are easier. but my advise to you is to stick to your guns. it easy to say i've tried this or tried that. you have to stick with it. we put the training britches on my girls when right before they turned two. I had messes, but i stayed after them. i read their "clues" and was like a watch dog for at least 2 weeks. every time they drank, i would wait till i started to see the signs and would sit them on the potty. you can't give up. Your mother should be helping you with this, since you are lucky to have her as a caregiver while you work. my mother-in-law helps me with mine,and we agree that what i decides goes, she doesn't work against me. children have to do things over and over and sometimes over and over again before they get it.
try giving him a hershey kiss after he does #2. put fruit loops or cherrios in the toliet and have him aim at them if he has to pee. these are tricks that my friends have used. BUT BE CONSISTENT!