Potty Training for Autistic 5 Yr Old

Updated on September 25, 2008
A.E. asks from Salem, OR
18 answers

I need some ideas that will work for my autistic 5 yr old boy. He just started talking at age 4, so he behaves like about a 2-3 year old (does what he wants and is very stubborn). Reasoning and reward systems have no affect on him, as he does not understand the concept. If we put him on the potty every 30 mins, he will go in his pants right after. He has had success at school, but that's because they pretty much stay in the bathroom and do his activities with him on the potty the entire time. This is impossible for us, as we have other children. Any help from parents that have dealt with autism would be appreciated.

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A.S.

answers from Portland on

Hi A.,
I'm A. Swift from The Dalles, we live on a ranch out of town.
i have a number of friends with autistic children. i have seen them using a safe patented nutritional product and those children improving so much you wouldn't realize they had special needs! if you would like to find out what they have done and the improvements in their kids, call me and i can introduce you over the phone ###-###-#### (fastest way to communicate for busy people!) A.

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C.D.

answers from Seattle on

A.,
Some help would be what does he like to do. I once cared for a boy with autism and we had to do the potty training. He loved football and reinacted the plays...literally. This is not what I used for training however. He did like to push buttons so when he would use the toilet I would let him flush it as a reward. He would immediately cover his ears because of the sound, but he really enjoyed flushing. Just a thought.

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G.W.

answers from Portland on

I have a son who is 4 with Autism. Right before he turned 4 I decided to try again to potty train him. He hated to go into the bathroom. I had to drag him in there. The first 2 days of it were horrible. he kicked and screamed. I told him no tv until he went pee in the potty. He would cry and cry. I sat in there and fed him tons of chips and lots of juice to get him to go. He finally did it because he really wanted to watch tv. I felt bad for my daughter who is his twin because she wanted to watch tv but I did not give in. It was hard but worth it. Now it is 3 months later, he still has accidents sometimes and does not poop in the potty very often but he is doing really well with peeing. He likes to watch the pee and flush the toilet. If you can take a weekend and have your husband take the other kids out for the day and you spend it with your son training it might help. Good luck and don't give up hope.

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M.D.

answers from Portland on

Nathan Azrin wrote the book "Toilet Training in Less than a Day". He originally developed his methods to toilet train people who were severely mentally retarded. I don't know if the methods in the book would work for your autistic son, but you may be able to find an online write-up of his original work with the mentally retarded. Possibly those methods would also be effective for someone with autism. Good luck.

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D.J.

answers from Seattle on

A., I personally do not have any children with autism, but there are several other parents who I have heard from tell me how their child(ren) with autism have had dramastic improvements in their daily functioning when they have them on a nurtition product, Reliv. This will most likely help him potty train. I share Reliv with others as a business and would be happy to tell you more if this is something you are interested in. Email me at ____@____.com

About me:
I am married and a stay-at-home mom with two young children.

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K.G.

answers from Seattle on

Hi A. ~ I know this is a HUGE hurdle...I was convinced my boy would still be in pullups when he was 18. My son was 7 when we finally "got" it. He is not medically diagnosed, but obviously falls on the autism spectrum. He really wasn't interested before then, and that may be your son's issue...it doesn't matter much to him yet. What I did was put a little table in there with him and had books and coloring for him to do (his little sister would sit in there and keep him company.) I'm not sure if yours is the type who's willing to sit still for long periods of time or not, but if so, it may work for you. I had one of those soft toilet seats with me wherever I went (I kept it in a plastic bag and had sanitary wipes with me) and would make him sit down and go when we arrived at any destination, and before we left. It finally developed to where he would initiate that he had to go. It was a long road, but it was worth it!

Another thing that may or may not have gone hand-in-hand with his success was that we pursued chiropractic therapy for him ~ after he was x-rayed, one of the zones that was out of whack was the one where the nerves related to going to the bathroom are located. Again, if your son is sensitive to touch (which my son is not) this may not be you would be interested in.

I will pray that your son gets interested and you have success! It will come...REALLY IT WILL!

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B.M.

answers from Portland on

HI A.,
My daughter is also on the spectrum and I had to skip the pull up and just put her in the panties. She went a lot in her pants, but she finally got tired of her legs being wet that she then used the potty. We are working at getting her to poop on the potty, but no success yet. She just turned four. All the best for you. I would love to chat in emails. It is nice to chat to people who know the simialar trials we have. B.
____@____.com

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K.S.

answers from Seattle on

Kids with Autism usually have excessive heavy metals in their little bodies which majorly affects their brains. A naturopathic doc might have some answers for you. I do know that molelcularly distilled fish oils are excellent for brain development!

Here is some info on possible causes and the US government's admission to possible causes after years of denial and secrecy on Autism. This admission has been a long time a coming. I praise God that the truth is finally coming out concerning this.

http://www.worldnetdaily.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&p...

This is another link outlining two medical scientist doctors and their journey to the same conclusion.

http://videoaol.com/video-detail/dr-mark-geier-and-david-...
This link to the series of video clip also verifies the link between mercury poising and schizophrenia.

K.

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K.C.

answers from Portland on

First of all I would put a stop to his activities at school being on the toilet the whole time. No wonder why he doesn't want anything to do with the toilet.

I have a 21 year old Downs/Autistic step-daughter and I've been in her life since she was 9. She was, and is still at a 2.5 to 3 year old mentality.

I understand the the challenges, and it takes a long time to potty train. My daughter is still in depends diapers at night.

The best advise I can give you is to put your son in diapers/pull-ups at school and at at home for as long as it takes. With "normal visits to the bathroom" until the toilet is an OK place for him to be and he is potty trained.

As long as he is healthy in the potty training area, he will eventually learn.

You must believe that, and demand that his school does too.

It's the aides at school that are the problem, not your son.

Best wishes to you and your family, and I admire you!

Sincerely,

K.

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M.B.

answers from Seattle on

My little girl is almost 6 and has autism; she is fully potty trained, it can be done. She didn't start using the potty consistently until she was 4 1/2 and she just recently starting pooping in the toilet. I started by putting her on the potty as soon as she woke-up. We found that a lot of verbal praise and clapping seemed to work the best with her. It just takes a lot of patients and some dumb luck. Try not to get discouraged he'll get it. We never punished her for accidents we didn't want her to have a negative association with the toilet.

Sarah really wanted a toy laptop, we told her when mommy and daddy didn't have to buy pull-up anymore we would get her one. That seemed to work a little. it was a good answer when she keep saying she wanted a laptop. Maybe if you find something that your son really wants that can be a reward.

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C.D.

answers from Seattle on

hi A. ,Have your2 boys done alot of and completed the patterns of creeping and crawling? these patterns of movement that children do less of in our culture are essential to making a functional brain .go to my website ,I work with those issues and children canelledemange.com You can call me at ###-###-#### ,leave a message and a number to reach you at a good time,I could explain how potty training is connected to the crawling, that stimulates the pelvic floor and the sensations which then helps to have control of that area Lovingly C.

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H.R.

answers from Seattle on

A.,
Have you ever heard of the PETER POTTY? my 5yr old austic son used that and after 2 years of fighting , begging, rewards everything, it was as simple as the peter potty, remember austic kids like to be able to touch the floor sitting on an adult sized potty makes them uncomfortable. the peter potty is a urnal for toddlers, just like the big boys, I had dad take him to the mall and hit every lasy public bathroom (make sure they are hydrated) and did he get a kick out of it. then came #2 that was harder, but once you master when and can catch them & get them to the potty (have a big step stool) so his feet touch it seems to fall in place,
hint I gave Gage bean burritos for 3 days his gas stimulated him noticing that he might need to go (very helpful)
but we also printed out a picture of chucky cheese and said when you go in the potty we will have a party, so the day he did it, we took a couple of neighbor kids and siblings and went it was such a big deal that he even went at chucky cheese, been trained ever since.
hope that helps,
take good care,
H.

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G.D.

answers from Medford on

Hi,

My son is almost 15 and was diagnosed at age 4 with high functioning autism. He wasn't fully potty trained until age 3 1/2 years of age. At that time, I would make sure he was making eye contact with me (Just say, look at me)and use very short statments. Use 0ne or two words...no more. He'll lose focus and not pay attention. Their brains are going a mile a minute and you just need to keep his attention and slow his mind down! All the work will pay off..trust me. My son has a part time job with the high school doing forestry work and is producing his first cartoon...AND is on the honor roll! He's come a long way. You'll both be fine.

G. D mom of 4 and 2 step sons

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T.H.

answers from Portland on

Hi A.,

My name is T. and I have a 2 1/2 yr old autistic son and my daughter is 19 mths and she may be on the spectrum also. I read your story and understand somewhat what your going through, however with our son the reward system does work. I wish I had some good advice for you. My kids are younger so you would probably have better knowledge. I have met a group of ladies some who have older children that maybe you could get in touch with. Have you ever visited the website www.friendsonthespectrum.com. Dawn and Erin have older kids, they probably could give you some tips. Is your son on a GFCF diet? Best of luck to you, I hope you check out the website.

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R.F.

answers from Portland on

Try setting it up like a game. A drop (not more or it will be a mess) of dishsoap in the water makes bubbles when they stand up and pee. Cheerios are also great "targets" for potty training boys. Throw two or three in the water and give him a reward if he can hit one or all of them. My 3 year old would get three jelly beans everytime he hit one standing up to pee. Made it fun and he is doing great now!

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C.K.

answers from Portland on

When you try to potty train him sit him on the toilet backwards so that he can look in and see what is happening. Toss the cheerio or paint a fly in the toilet something he can hit, I have potty trained 7 boys this way, of course don't know it will work for an autistic boy but it might make him feel more comfortable, once he sees his accomplishments you might be set.
God bless, I pray everything works out for you and your family.

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J.R.

answers from Portland on

My four year old son has been 'educationally diagnosed' with ASD, although he's classified as 'high functioning' and some think he is more towards the Asbergers side than the Autism, for about two and a half years now.

I've been a single parent the beginning of 2006 and with my own disabilities, it's really hard to do everything that a parent of an ASD child needs; however, he's come a LONG way from where we started out at.

I've talked with his teacher and social worker about potty training and we've all agreed that forcing the issue with him would make him balk and would make it even harder the next time we tried. Considering this, and his reaction to being forced to go near the toilet, I'm perfectly willing to wait longer to give him more time to adjust to his body and everything that's going on around him, including learning to be more communicative.

We're still using diapers (Goodnight underpants for boys found at Fred Meyer) but he's beginning to show definite signs of knowing when he's having a BM. He's anxious about it actually. However, there are no outward signs of when he urinates like there are when he's having a BM -- he pushes himself into corners or close into gaps in the furniture.

He loves water and he has no real problem with walking around with a completely soaked and BMed diaper or with wet pants or legs. (I did this as an experiment -- how would he react? would he react? would he understand that something needed to be done?) It's pure hit and miss for him to come up to me with a diaper in hand or for him to request to be changed -- no matter the praising or the reward.

My hope is that he will learn, and understand, that having a BM and going pee are a regular part of life and that when he is able to communicate with us about this (effectively), potty training will go forward.

Until that time... diapers are still going in the grocery cart.

Good luck!
J.

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C.F.

answers from Seattle on

Hi A.,

I would say that he is not ready to be potty trained. One of my children is autistic also and we tried several times to potty train him at various ages. It was like I spent my life sitting in the bathroom with him freaking out and then he would pee as soon as we left the bathroom. The rest of my life fell apart as all my time was in the bathroom. Thomas also has some other physical issues and it's hard to tell what is autistic and what are other issues.

Anyhow, we did figure out that he can not feel when his bladder is full. He could hold over 1000 cc of urine and show no sign of distress. He used to wear diapers to school through 4th grade then we decided that since he never wet at school to send him in underwear. He would just let go as soon as I put a diaper on him at home.

For years then, we talked about having a tummy ache and a full bladder and when he peed, we talked about how he feels better now that his bladder isn't full. I figured eventully something might sink in. It has taken years (he's 14 now) and just this year he has become fairly independent during the day. He still needs help pulling up his pants but he is aware when he needs to go and can say that.

A big help was the move to middle school. He has a male para who has taken him into the teacher's bathroom every day at the same time. There is no way that his attention would be focused enough to relax in the boy's bathroom. Who knows if it was his age, environment, or what but things did finally begin to click.

The problem is that he also uses it for attention - and that was a big issue when he was younger. He'd say he had to pee in order to get people moving around him and then he would do nothing. He still says it but I ignore it.

Anther thing that we used was getting a urinal for him. He can't sit on the toilet and has no fine motor skills to aim or the attention to do it. He used to pee in the shower stall or into the bath but that grossed my daughter out. I found this portble urinal call "Peter Potty" through Target. It is only about $40 and I mounted it on the wall for him. You have to empty it each time and he does miss it some too so I'm always wiping up pee - but at least he tries and he's learning.

Bad and good news - he still can not sit on the toilet for a BM but he finally knows when he is going to have one and asks for a diaper to poop. I'm so glad that he is aware of when he needs to go. He now only wears diapers at night and when he needs to poop. I can live with that.

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