Potty Training.. 90% There.. What Now?!

Updated on February 07, 2012
M.M. asks from Lake Charles, LA
11 answers

My view this whole time has been when my daughter is ready, she'll be ready. Well about a week before our little man was born (Dec 1) she just decided she wanted to use the big girl potty! And surprisingly she didn't even regress! So for about a month it was hit or miss, about a 50 - 60% success rate which I happily took! So then after that first month she got REALLY good.. like maybe one tee-tee accident a day but that only lasted a week or so. The whole time she's had the poop thing down 100% besides the one time she got diarrhea and I'm assuming she couldn't tell the difference between gas and poop.. she got upset, we cleaned her up, no big deal. Now our thing is that she's 100% on poop and about 80% on pee.. she's not emptying her bladder all the way, she pees a little then she's "done" 'lo and behold 5 minutes later (and 5 minutes after that) she's telling me she needs to potty. How do I help her learn to empty her bladder? All the accidents she does have are just trickles, so it's not like she's holding big amounts of urine then letting the dam break... we tried the thick panites (we're currently using pullups) and still the same thing. A whole day of just tiny accidents, she hated being wet, I made her clean herself up on her own but it didn't seem to stop the little accidents. I know she knows how to hold it because she does a good bit of the time... I control the times she has access to juice and water (she's not just walking around with liquid all day) and we've sorta tried the reward system but we've gotten more progress in treating it like it's no big deal "that's how big girls do it"... Am I doing something wrong? Should I just stick with the panties and only use pullups for night time? We're coming up on a big move at the end of March and she's SO excited and we've been telling her she can't go to school until she uses big girl panties and doesn't have a accident (truth). There's also these stars on her easy-ups that disappear if she pees, I pointed it out today and she's constantly checking to see that the stars are still there (but I don't know how long that will work)... It's frustrating me running to the potty with her every 5 minutes and I don't know if I'm just going about it wrong? When she does wet her easy-up or panties I make her wait until I'm done with what I'm doing to change her and get her the rag to clean herself... any other suggestions out there? She knows that we aren't moving until she can have no accidents and so far today she hasn't peed/pooped in the easy-up (at nap time she will inevitability but thats ok) what do you mom's do? And what do I do to help her empty her bladder ALL THE WAY? I don't want her getting UTIs from holding it back.... TIA

Oh, and she LOVES her big girl panties.. and she HATES having a wet easy-up, yesterday she had so many little accidents I refused to throw out the easy-up until it was pretty soaked because they were just being wasted and I wanted her to know that when she pees, it doesn't feel good so go to the potty lol. She understands 100% it's just a choice and I'm trying to figure out how I can help her decide that's the choice she wants to make... Please tell me boys are easier :)

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So What Happened?

I've tried telling her to SQUEEEEZE! We seriously sit on the potty for at least 3 minutes each time... maybe her thing is that as soon as she feels she has a little bit of pee she wants it out instead of waiting? ugh, I'm so stressed, half of my day is spent in the bathroom!!!

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K.W.

answers from Youngstown on

Make her sit a bit longer. Have her count to 10 and as Jacy B. says push all pee out. Perhaps sitting a bit more will help her realize she has more to go.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

Read a book. It may help her not focus so much on the pee and let it happen naturally and completely. She may pee twice in the time it takes to read a short book if she just sits for a bit. Sometimes DD and I sing songs. For a bit DD went to the potty all.the.time and I just kept her in the panties and did a lot of laundry.

DD has to at least try the potty first thing and when she takes a bath and before we leave or she goes to bed. It might help to have her sit for those things so she at least tries.

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J.A.

answers from Spartanburg on

I couldn't quite tell from your story but the having to go a little every 5 minutes is new? If that's the case then she could have a uti. Otherwise you are doing everything you can...maybe letting her go naked? Might be less likely to let a bit trickle down her leg and more likely to hold it or hightail it to the bathroom?

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R.Y.

answers from New York on

You could try and teach her how it feels to contract and relax a muscle. Try having her make a tight fist and hold it a short while (maybe sing the alphabet twice or something) and then relax it. You could try having her hold a tennis ball or rolled up pair of socks between her knees for a short while and relax. Then you could have her take a deep breathe in and then let it out slowly a relax her tummy muscles (while on the potty of course).

It isn't a bad idea to check out if she has a UTI.

Maybe she likes all the attention she is getting with potty training. You could set a timer and only let her go every 30 minutes.

If my son is any indication boys are not easier--my son took forever (like 18 months). I just started with my daughter who is 3 and 1 month. She at least cooperates (my son argued) but has a long way to go.

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J.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

tell her to push all the pee pee out.

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P.K.

answers from New York on

How old is she? Maybe UTI and ditch the pull ups during the day. Other than that there is nothing you can do. Just time.

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

Nope! With boys it's typically 6mo-1year after pee before poo (they don't pee on their rectum like girls, so there's no lubrication, and the prostate isn't in place yet, so it doesn't feel good), so poo tends to hurt little boys. And once they start standing and NOT aiming... cheerios will be your friend.

ANYHOW...

I'd check for a UTI first off.

If not... the concept of "sneaky pee" worked in our house pretty well (both for "I'm done!" when they're not, and for not wanting to go before leaving the hous "But I don't have to!" ... "Better make sure there's no sneaky pee!"

When you're saying "Squeeze"... I wonder if she's doing a keigle? (which stops the urine flow). Push might be a better word, or squeeze-relax-squeeze-relax. Ditto "rocking" back and forth a bit can change the pressure on the bladder.

BIG trick with potty training (usually for night training) is NOT to restrict fluids. At night, it's because the urge is strong enough to wake a sleeping brain and the pee doesn't just dribble out every 5-15 minutes. In the daytime, it's because a full bladder is easier to empty than a 1/4 full bladder. ((Try it yourself. 30min after peeing... when you don't need to go... go anyway. You can MAKE yourself pee, but some pee often gets "stuck" in the urethra... just like with a UTI. In this case it's not because of swelling, but because there's not enough pressure behind the stream to get it out.))

I'd really check on the UTI, though. Kids often have UTIs and yeast infections for YEARS... just because they don't know that's NOT what it's supposed to feel like. Sniff. One of my good friends had a yeast infection until she was 19. The first time she went on meds for it...oh. my. god. This girl was practically singing from the roof. She'd just never known any other feeling than itch and burn, and it had been so long she didn't equate those adjectives with the way her vajayjay felt... until they were gone! She's kind of an extreme case (very religious parents who never let her have a pelvic exam, and never checked their children's privates as they grew up)... but it just goes to show... when you don't know what "wrong" feels like... it's easy to miss!

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P.B.

answers from Shreveport on

.its a thought, did you ever try the under ware with plastic on the outside ONE STEP has them...
.Our daughter has twin boys that are 20 months old....and works full time....I'm dreading that for her and her husband

R.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

Use something like reading her a book or giving her a learning game (Leapster, etc.) to play while sitting on the potty to encourage her to sit longer and hopefully pee there rather than in her underwear. Also put the responsibility on her to go to the potty, you don't need to always be there with her, and won't be when she goes to school.

Use the pullups just for naps and bedtime. Tell her that "big girl" underwear is for when she doesn't have accidents, just use trainers and hopefully the incentive of her panties will help her try to get everything out when she's on the potty. My sister was telling me just the other day that my nephew thought that pullups would keep him from peeing...she said he was walking funny one day and she asked him what was wrong, he said his "this diaper doesn't work." She asked him what he meant and he said, "I peed, it didn't work," so she stopped using them. My guy saw them in the store when we were beginning potty training and said, "I want those diapers" and I said no way, and we never used them.

Have her checked for a UTI, if she has one (and there CAN be no symptoms) that could cause her to need to pee continuously.

Be aware that regression can come months or even a couple of years down the road for various reasons, and I wish i could say that boys are easier, but in all honesty it really depends on the child, boy or girl : )

S.L.

answers from New York on

I would have the doctor check for infection, better safe than sorry.

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❤.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Have her it there longer on the toilet to ensure all of her pee has been expressed.

Also, take her more often to the potty especially when you notice she has
had a lot to drink. Wait 15 mins then try taking her to the toilet.

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