Night Time Potty Trying

Updated on April 20, 2010
M.S. asks from Sammamish, WA
24 answers

Hello! I have a soon-to-be 3 year-old girl. She's potty trained for daytime and naptime but not night time. It's been 1 week I stated training her. Of course, some accidents, especially last night. She didn't realize or care she peed. She slept through it. I want to keep going but my husband said no. He said she didn't even noticed she peed and she seems so tired in the morning because she's not getting good sleep! We keep waking her up to go potty or change her clothes. He said she's not ready yet. Just put her back in pull ups. I kind of see his point but I still think we should keep going because that's part of the process. My husband said unless we come up with some ways to help her, we really should stop. I don't know what to do... For all you wise moms out there, is she really not ready? Any tips for night time training? Thanks!

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So What Happened?

Thank you for all your wise advice. I'm so glad that I have so many moms helping me! I just have one more thing to add to my situation. My daughter stays dry when she naps, though. Just at night time that she has accidents. Does that make a difference to what I should do? Thanks!

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W.C.

answers from Seattle on

There are three things you can not make a child do: eat, sleep, or pee and poop on command (sigh) other wise you are a parent that is a short order cook, a guard at the door, and a parent that runs their child to the bathroom every 30 minutes.

Both my children (a son and daughter) trained themselves (and I have unique stories to go with them). Because I didn't train them it was the easiest thing I didn't do. It was also easy on them because they were motivate for their own goals.

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J.N.

answers from Seattle on

Hi M.,

For all 3 of my kids we used pull-ups only at night until they were closer to 4 - almost 5. It's a lot harder for them to be trained at night. 3 is still very young and that's really hard to train since after all, she's asleep. I say go for the pull-up and you will all enjoy a full nights sleep :)

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C.S.

answers from Richland on

Don't worry about the night-time training at this time. She is just a deep sleeper and sleeps so tight that whe won't wake up to go. She may not be ready for a while yet. If she is still not night trained by the time she is 6, she will probably need behavior modification. Using an alarm pad can work wonders. She will be much happier and so will you if you use the pull-ups just for night time. She's doing really well with the day training, relax about the night time. You don't want her to be upset about it it is nothing to be ashamed about. Good luck

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M.T.

answers from New York on

Daytime training has nothing to do with nighttime training. Nighttime "training" is not about wakign up to pee and being ready to recognize that you have to pee during the day isnt connected to being dry at night. Night :training" means that the bladder grows mature enough to hold the urine all through the night, this isn't related to day training. Don't wake her up to use the bathroom, she doesn't need the sleep interruption and you are actually compounding the "problem." Rather than outgrowing the need to empty her bladder at night, you are training her to need to continue doing this. If she is consistently wet at night, then diaper her until she is old enough that she consistently wakes up dry. You don't need to do anything to "train" her.

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J.O.

answers from Corvallis on

Hi, My little one hasn't gone through this yet, but my understanding from all of the training books is that nighttime training is the last thing to learn and it can take several years. I would recommend that you not push the issue until she is waking up in the morning dry, then you'll know for sure she can do it and she will be successful. Good luck to you.

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C.S.

answers from Portland on

From my research and what I have come to understand is that there is a Hormone that developes between the ages of 3-7 that tells the body to hold the urine till you wake up. Until that hormone develops there is NO way to potty train at night. The best thing to do is use diaper/pullup at night untill for 2 weeks they wake up dry. Very first thing after they wake up take them potty. and if the diaper/pullup is dry for 2 weeks then try the undies at night.

I hope this helps. Good luck. My son was potty trained at night at age 3 but my daughter almost 3 is still using diaper/pullup at night. It will come with time. Good luck.
C.

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

We cannot train little ones to stay dry at night. When their body is mature enough to hold the urine they will stay dry at night. So, relax so that all of you get the sleep you need.

Also, I've not known of any preschooler who gets up at night to pee. If they have peed before going to bed their bladder and nervous system is either mature enough to hold the urine all night or not. There doesn't seem to be an in between stage when the bladder is not large enough to hold it all night. I wonder if parents have "trained" their children to get up during the night by getting them up in an effort to train them to stay dry at night.

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

Night training is not something you teach a child, it is a mater of her body maturing to a point where she no longer pees in her sleep. The average age for this to happen is between the ages of 2 and 5, with some children it takes longer, 6 and 7 is not uncommon, my cousin was 12. It is not something that can be forced. You will know when she is ready to sleep in undies when she wakes up several nights in a row dry (like a month straight). Until then, she is just not ready, and waking her up to pee will only make her tired, it will not force her body to mature any faster.

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T.I.

answers from Portland on

Ok so I didn't ready any of the other comments so sorry if I am repeating other advise.
My son turned three last week. He is now in full time undies. For night time we waited till he was dry all night to stop using pull ups. When we noticed he would make through the night and go potty in the morning we started putting him in underwear at night. He is a deep sleeper so waking him though out the night was way more trouble then good. When we did he woke up made and refused to go potty.
I say just get her some more time and put back on a diaper or pull up at night. Or get those washable cotton on the inside plastic on the outside undies so she will still think she is wearing undies.
Good luck potty training just takes time. We are there with you.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

NIght-time dryness... is a biological occurrence... and it can take until even 7 years old. Per Pediatrician's.
Night-time dryness... is a completely DIFFERENT thing, than day time pottying. So keep that in mind.

She is SO young... to even have bladder control while sleeping. AND for her to be "expected" to be fully competent at being dry at night and for getting up herself to go to the bathroom.

My daughter, was still wearing night time diapers until she was already 5 years old. She had been potty trained since 2 years old.

Do not keep waking her up at night just to pee. She will not get a good sleep that way... it will interfere in her well being.

Night time "dryness" is something that also comes with biological maturity and the myelin nerve development... its not "her" being lazy or being a problem.

This is not a problem. MANY kids... even at 7 years old... still do not have night time bladder control. Its NORMAL.

Just let her be... and use a waterproof bed-pad directly under her. I got mine from Amazon. I have 4 of them, that I use for my kids and change out and rotate if needed.

My daughter is 7 now... just last week, she had a pee accident while sleeping. NO big deal. I just change out the bed pad, put a new one under her, she changes her PJ's, and goes back to bed. We do not scold or pressure her or my son for these things. It is normal and natural.

My Husband, still had pee accidents at night too, even when he was older. Its normal.

My daughter sleeps very deeply, and one time she even dreamed that she WAS on the toilet... until she felt herself wet.

My friends kids... did not attain dryness at night until 5+ years old as well. Even my Daughter's Preschool and Kindergarten Teachers said that 3-4-5-6-7 year olds, still wet the bed and it is no big deal. It is the biological bodily maturity.

I would really stop waking her up all night just to go pee. It is just going to interfere with her sleep and needed sleep... and then the next day she will be SO tired because of that and/or fussy all day.

You don't "train" a child to stay dry all night or to go pee. It comes with age and biological mechanics and maturity. Remember, night-time dryness is a TOTALLY different process and event from just daytime going potty.

Again, a child CAN wear night-time diapers for bed and naps... no biggie. You just tell them, its only for sleeping. They do NOT get confused or regress....it is just a normal progression. Again, my daughter wore night-time diapers until she was already 5. My son, still wears diapers for nap and sleep... and he is 3.5 years old. He is not even fully day time potty trained yet. No biggie.
My son for example, knows diapers are only for sleeping or certain LONG outings where there is no toilet. They do not get "Confused."
Its fine.

My daughter... was also about 5 years old... when "she" could then recognize the pee urge while sleeping, and then in sequence, get herself up...and then go to the bathroom herself... of with my accompanying her... which is no big deal. I don't make them, especially when young, go to the bathroom by themselves at night.

As a tip: for night time, I would use night-time diapers... NOT pull-ups because pull-ups don't hold much and they leak and it is pointless. And more expensive. Huggies makes good nighttime diapers.

all the best,
Susan

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L.S.

answers from Seattle on

When my ten year old was at that age I kept him in pullups at night until he stayed dry every night. That is what I am doing right now with my three year old boy. I don't see a reason to rush it as long as he is staying dry during the day. I would just keep her in pullups until she stays dry every night. This way she (and you) can get the sleep and rest that you need.

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N.W.

answers from Portland on

Hi M.
I agree with a few other moms that night training and day training are two completely different things. Your daughter is day trained (hooray.) She has learned to recognize when she has to go, and then can wait until she gets to a toilet. NIght training is the bladder being able to hold urine through the night. With my olderst daughter, night training cames months after being day trained. I was told that once they can remain dry for 7 nights, you are remove that nighttime diaper and consider them night trained. Shewas trained day trained before 2, but it took her 10 more months for me to say boodbye to diapers. My 2 year old is a work-in-progress like yours. She can make it thru the day and naptime, working on the night now. I wouldnt wake your daughter, the diapers will become less wet over time - then before you know it she will be dry. Good luck to you!

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S.W.

answers from Seattle on

In my opinion, she is too young to be "trained" at night. It doesn't have anything to do with training her, it is just that her body needs to grow more before she can hold it. It is a brain to bladder connection that needs to happen and sometimes it doesn't happen for a long time. It isn't her choice, it is just nature. Be patient, keep her in pull-ups at night and once you begin to notice that she is dry in the morning, then it will be time to start having the discussion with her about it. I know boys take longer than girls, but my son was in pull-ups till he was about 4 1/2 and still has occasional accidents at night. If she stays dry at nap time, you can just leave her in her undies but just know that she may still have an accident then and it is just fine to have her in pull-ups for nap time too. Having her in pull-ups for sleep time won't mess with her potty training at all. She isn't even three yet, let her be little a little longer with that :)

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C.S.

answers from Medford on

My daughter was daytime trained at 2 1/2, but naps and nighttime took much longer. I took one task at a time, to make it easier on her. Once she tackled daytime and nap, it took a long time for us to know that she was ready for nighttime, she didnt actually nighttime train until she was 4 1/2!
If I were you (and if you feel maybe she just isnt ready), I would hold off on the nighttime for a while. She has already concurred 2 major hurdles in growing up...give her some time to be proud of that and work on making that a normal part of life (something that she isnt working on or thinking much about), then give the nighttime a try. If she is sleeping through the peeing, I would say she isnt ready for that part. :) Good luck with your big girl!

P.S. naptime dryness and nighttime dryness are TOTALLY different in my opinion. Naps are only a couple hours and at that age its more of a coinsidence than an occomplishment. Its much easier to stay dry for 2 hours than all night.

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R.S.

answers from Portland on

i agree with your husband. she is still young and not ready for night time training. It's fantastic that she is potty trained during the day and nap! My sons were both different with night training. One was potty trained through the night by age 2 and the other son not until he was 4. The early trained one has a huge bladder.

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M.K.

answers from Chicago on

I think you need to give your daughter some more time.

When an adult's bladder is full at night, a signal goes from the bladder to the brain and we are awakened with the need to go. For children, this signaling mechanism comes with age. They cannot be "trained" until their body develops this mechanism. Give her some more time. Watch to see if (1) her pull-up is dry most mornings and, (2) you hear her get up to pee during the night. Most pediatricians do not consider night wetting to be a medical issue until after the age of five or six. And most Pediatricians do not advocate waking your child to go potty at this age -- let her get the sleep she needs. Good luck!

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K.H.

answers from Washington DC on

Have you been training for 1 week with night time or daytime? Just because she is trained in the daytime it doesn't mean she should be dry at night aswell , learning to hold all night is a whole different process and some kids don't master that until a long time after being trained in the day. My daughter is 4 and has been trained since age 3 , however she still wears a pull up to bed ,and it is quite normal for some kids to not be trained until 7 at night. I agree with your husband and put her back in pull ups , when she wakes every morning for a few weeks with dry pull ups that is when she is ready to go without them.

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M.B.

answers from Portland on

You do not have to give up the whole process. i agree with your husband put her in pull ups at night and under wear during the day. It is not a big deal and make sure you praise her when she is dry but make sure not to make her feel bad if she is wet, tell her no big deal! Hope this helps oh and by the way i have an almost 5 year old and sh had an accident last night!

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D.L.

answers from Seattle on

Our daughter is 4 1/2 and still in pull-ups at night because she doesn't wake to pee and her bladder can't hold it yet. She's been potty trained since before she was 2 1/2. Her doctor (and info I have read) said that it's normal for kids to take up to age 6 for their bodies to be able to make it through the night without urinating. Some of her friends can make it all night and some can't. We told her she can stop wearing pull-ups to bed once she can keep the pull-up dry. I don't think it's happening soon for her, and I'm not worried.

As for your daughter's nap-time, that's considerably less time for her to hold it and many times kids can keep dry during naps.

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A.W.

answers from Seattle on

Sounds like you already got a lot of good advice. Mine is just to wait until she is actually waking up dry consistently for a month or two. Or that she is waking up herself and saying she has to go, otherwise you will be dealing with lots of laundry and little sleep.
Kids sleep really hard and she probably isn't even aware that she is going until it is over and done. Dry naps are a start, but dry nights are what really counts. She will learn naturally and it just comes with time. I have heard that some kids aren't nighttime trained as old as 6, but some as young at 2 1/2. But I think the norm is somewhere around 4. My daughter is 3 1/2 and has been consistently dry and waking up to go in the middle of the night for about 2 1/2 months now. We are now doing underwear at night, just in the past 2 weeks. So far so good, but I am waiting for the accident to happen.
You could try those nighttime training underwear too. I think they are pretty absorbent, have water resistant (or waterproof) cover but they feel the wet, instead of a pull up. They are kind of pricey, but may do the trick.

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B.J.

answers from Kansas City on

She's not ready. If she was, she would be waking up to use the potty. I would put her back in pull-ups until she wakes up dry for a week or two. This is a seperate issue from day-time potty training. Some kids just can't do this until they are 6 or 7.

Put the Pull-Ups on and rest easy.

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K.W.

answers from New York on

Don't put the pull-ups back on yet, I think your right! It is part of the process. It stinks getting up in the middle of the night, but it's part of the job. This is what I did for both my son and daughter. No fluid for 1 hour before bed, potty right before bed, and then around 11:30 12am I would wake them up to go, even if there little heads wobbled as they sat there on the bowl. I believe with my son I did a 3am, 4am wake-up too, but that only lasted a few nights. To save you from having to change the sheets, I purchased these twin size mattress covers that went OVER the sheet and acted more like a pad. (One Step Ahead) catalog. They were a life saver!.. Happy to say both my kids were fully trained with in two months, and both before 26 months old...Good Luck...Stay Strong

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M.E.

answers from Iowa City on

Just because you put her back into pullups at night doesnt mean you have to stop. Sometimes pull-ups can be more helpful. They make the child feel the wetness and some pull-ups can give a cool feeling to let them know they wet

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M.L.

answers from Seattle on

My daughter was daytime dry for months before we tried panties for nap or bed. Ask her what she wants to do. If she's involved with the process, it will probably go better. If she's dry for day and naps, keep her in panties then, but it's okay to use a diaper for a little longer overnight until she feels more ready.

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