Potty Training 20 Month Old Boy

Updated on February 14, 2008
A.M. asks from Henrico, VA
25 answers

Okay so i know i'm probably crazy but he's shown some interest. and all my friends have stubborn nearly 3 year old boys that don't want to potty train. but it is SO different from a girl. you can't just sit them down and hope they eventually go in the right place and have the "ah-ha" moment if they are supposed to learn standing up... any suggestions? please? :)

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.V.

answers from Washington DC on

I have a girl and I know it is very different but I picked up a video called "Potty Potty for Her" (they do make it for boys too). Its very annoying for adults but it worked wonders for my daughter 5 1/2 years ago, she potty trained herself. I sat ther on the potty in front of the TV and she watched it about 400 times. I also let her run around with no diaper on (we had hardwood floors).

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.P.

answers from Washington DC on

Just because you have a boy doesn't mean he has to start off standing up right away! I potty trained my son sitting down first. After a month of two he started to show more interest in standing up but would have to tip toe to reach the toilet and would still occasionally want to sit down. Now he stands up all the time and never has a problem.

He was 2 when we trained him and it took him less then a week to get it down and he has never had an accident since :-)

Good Luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.H.

answers from Richmond on

My boys both potty-trained at 3 yrs. 11 months to the day. They both showed signs of readiness at about 2 1/2 yrs, but their incredibly high level of stubbornness and unwillingness to stop playing when they needed to proved to be more than I was willing to fight. So, I am probably not the best person to be giving advice. However, I think teaching boys to stand up for #1 and sit down for #2 from the beginning is good - less confusion later. We also showed them how to clean up their messes if they miss the potty, and I can tell you that I NEVER have to do it for them now. Yes, I changed more than my share of diapers and pullups over the years, but I guess I did not have the patience to fight them on it. Once they made the switch to to underpants, we had about three days of "accidents" and then complete success - even at nights.

Good luck with the training, but if it does not work this time around, my advice is to not worry about it. As my pediatrician told me, they will be potty-trained by the time they get married...

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.S.

answers from Norfolk on

Hi! Congratulations! My older son Jacob, 7, was three when he was pottytrained. Not so with my younger son, CJ, 5. He was around 2 when he mastered it. I own my own daycare and I have pottytrained 6 other boys with this method. Start out by him buying big boy underwear. Mine really did not want to spoil his superhero pants. DONT BUY A KIDS POTTY CHAIR!!! He will have to learn all over again how to go in the "big toilet" if you do that! Second, buy a short stool so he can shoot in the toilet bowl. I don't know if you are married as you didn't outline that part. If you are, have your husband show him (and you, so you are both using the same technique with your son) how to "shoot in the hole". My husband taught my boys not to lean back and hope you make it. He taught them to "shoot for the hole" in the bottom of the tiolet. He also taught them that if they "sprinkle when they tinkle" to wipe it up with bath tissue and flush the toilet. Evaluate on paper first what YOUR game plan for him is. Mine was like this ( and don't worry about the number of steps. all of this will become second nature. he needs to know what all has to happen to "go" successfully)
1. recognize urge to go
2. stop playing and tell mommy or just go to bathroom
3. close the door (teaches them about privacy)
4. put stool in front of toilet
5. unzip pants and pull 'em down all the way (keeps them from accidentally peeing on their pantfront)
6. "Shoot for the hole"
7. pull pants back up
8. wipe up any "sprinkles"
9. flush toilet
10. move stool to sink
11. wash hands
12. Potty Treat!
Make sure potty treats are something small, as he should have one each time he goes. 2 M&M's is what I gave mine. I have used this system and it works great. Accidents will happen. Make sure you keep him in underwear. The cold of wet underwear is not like the feel of a warm pull up. Be prepared to wash sets of clothes per day at first. And you may need to remind him when he is playing intently or if he hasn't gone in an hour or so. He will get the hang of it quickly and soon, no more diapers! You can take that money and invest it in potty treats! Ha Ha! They joys of motherhood. . . I have enjoyed watching my boys grow up and I am sure you will too. Good luck and God Bless.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.M.

answers from Washington DC on

I think 20 months is way too young to try and potty train a boy. Is he even talking all that much? My cousin raised 3 boys and said she waited until they were 3 before even trying. We are having a terrible time with our 3 year old grandson that lives with us. After talking to several friends, I am ready to just back off and let him decide when. Less stress for all of us. R.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.W.

answers from Richmond on

My son started potty training at about that age and was totally done by his second birthday! When he started showing interest, I began putting him on the potty at about 1.5-2 hour intervals (or basically, after snacks and meals). It was not a battle at all! We had special books in the bathroom that stayed there, so he had something to do while there. He started standing about 4 months ago and he will be 3 in April.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.J.

answers from Washington DC on

Little boys don't have to learn standing up! Mine was nearly 3 when he started showing an interest in potty training. He was afraid of his little potty seat, so we started him right off on the big toilet. Even in the 95th percentile for height, there's no way he could reach the toilet standing unless on a stool (which seemed precarious to me). He sat to go to the potty for over a year (just be careful first thing in the morning, or you'll have a mess) and now stands just fine.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.S.

answers from Richmond on

It is really early for a boy as you already stated. I did potty train my son sitting down though. He didn't stand up until he paid attention to his dad doing it. I would say back off if he starts getting frustrated though.
Good luck

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.C.

answers from Charlottesville on

He absolutely does not need to learn standing up -- I know very few boys who have, and certainly none as young as your son. Both my boys sat down for a really long time...so it's virtually the same as potty-training a girl.

Good luck.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.C.

answers from Norfolk on

I have two boys 7 and 4. Both potty trained around 3 closer to 3 and a half. Wait until he is ready if you try too early it will be more work for you (battles and accidents). Start with pull-ups that he'll feel when he wets so he becomes more aware of the feeling. Don't be surprised though if the feeling doesn't bother him, many boys could care less that they are wet or soiled. Both mine learned to go sitting first (that's why they have guards that go on the potty seats). After a while they wanted to go standing up like daddy so we taught them that way. When you are first potty training a boy have them do both sitting since they are still learning to control bowel and bladder. Start reading potty books to him now and point out his friends that are using the potty, but don't force the issue yet.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.E.

answers from Washington DC on

We always have started potty training with our little boys sitting down. Only a year or so later have they graduated to standing up. But that was just my preference. We waited until 3 years old too, just so I could be sure that there would be fewer accidents and we used the Potty Training in a Day book. In two days, my oldest was done with accidents and bedtime issues. I'm all for waiting until they are older so there are fewer accidents and questions.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.H.

answers from Charlottesville on

I'm interested in this as well. My son is 20 months as well and he has shown some interest. His former daycare provider even thought she would have him trained before too long. (He's not with her anymore because I got a new job and got him in a center closer to me) Anyway, we bought him a potty and all he wants to do is play with it, so I guess he wasn't as ready as we thought. :(

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

W.S.

answers from Washington DC on

You train a boy the same way you train a girl. Sitting down. They will learn to pee standing up later.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

G.L.

answers from Richmond on

Sometimes I run water when I put him on the potty. Water seems to have the right effect when I put my son in the bathtub. My son is 25 months and can tell me when he is wet, and takes his pullup off. When he does that I put him right on the potty to see if there is any residual pee left. Also try and figure out when he does what and around that time put him on the potty or stand him in front of it.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.S.

answers from Richmond on

My son is 22 months and has been using a potty for a while. He doesn't really understand yet why he is on it and when he does use it is is pure coincidence, I think. But I make a point of sitting him in his toilet while I am using the big-person toilet and he is comfortable seeing both my husband and me going about our business in the bathroom. I think that it is a healthy thing to start them young so by the time they are ready to do it on their own, they don't associate using the bathroom with anything strange or unnatural to them. And my son does use the toilet sitting down. If he happens to be naked and I catch him mid-stream I will stand him in front of his toilet and hope to make it on target, but I always have him sit when I am encouraging him to give it a try. Since we are not squeamish about bodily functions in our house he will get the idea soon enough. All children love to imitate their parents so he will want to imitate the way his father uses the bathroom soon enough. It is crazy to me how puritanical we are in this country about something that is just as natural as breathing. I encourage my son to get his own toilet paper and use it as he is not supposed to play with the toilet paper any other time. It is an incentive for him and creates fun and good associations with the bathroom.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.B.

answers from Washington DC on

A.,

Well I do not have any experience with potty training boys but My friend's son was interested and he was potty trained in just a couple of month and completly potty trained by two. I think that love, & patients goes a long way and if he is interested go for it. Many children where potty trained at much younger ages befor our new age of amazing diapers that you almost can not feel anything when they are worn.

K.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

F.B.

answers from Charlottesville on

Try little princes urinal, it's meant for little kids and great for little boys that have mom teaching them how. I think it's around $20 at Toys R Us. Good Luck!!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.B.

answers from Washington DC on

i have two children myself 7 yr girl and 3 yr old boy. Im' single and found it quite difficult to train my son. So ok here's a suggestion for potty training your 20 month old boy.cherrios cereal. I know sound crazy right but get a box and place a few in the toilet. Let him "shoot" at them. They are completely safe and will not harm your water system, they disolve in water or liquid i should say. Try it what do you have to loose. I wish you good luck

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.M.

answers from Norfolk on

I Started my son at 20 months and I do let him sit for his "ah-ha" moment. He is 27 months and we have only nite accidents . He will even poop in the potty. I worried about getting the pee in the right place and them worried about getting it there the "right way". I found to ease the transition from sitting to standing is to turn him around backwards on the potty, the view is the same when he learns to stand.
Hope this helps.
S.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.F.

answers from Washington DC on

My son is 18 mos and he has been showing a fair amount of interest, as well. While I'm not actively "training" him at this time, I am very intersted in the Montessori method of "toileting," which encourages training starting earlier than 24 mos. I found this article very interesting http://www.littleredrobin.com/pages/toileting_the_monteso.... I plan to try it myself. Just thought I'd mention it, as so many theories of potty training stress waiting until after 2 years to start, and you'll find most people will react like you're a weirdo if you mention that you are starting earlier. Personally, I believe the Montessori method makes a lot of sense, and while I haven't actually tried it, I am willing to see what happens.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

G.K.

answers from Washington DC on

I taught my son to go potty in the summertime when I could put just shorts on him no undies at all. I guess my reasoning was that if it felt all loosey goosey down there he would realize that something was different. I only tried in the beginning a few hours a day when it was outside playtime. (Minimizing clean up) I also let him go outside on a tree/bush/rock what ever made it easier. I don't know if you live in a place that this is possible, but we were semi-rural and it worked. The first time he went on a rock I actually brought a new rock inside to put in his potty chair. It did work but a little smelly. I only did that once! I tried cheerios and kool-aid in the bottom of the potty chair but nothing worked as well as the freedom of the outdoors. After he got the sensation down I just used the potty chair and he did sit down. They even make chairs with little guards so that they don't go everywhere. Hopefully you can take some of this and use it in your own way! By the way my son was two and a half. We were three before we were accident free.

Good luck and patience is your best friend during this venture!

G.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.M.

answers from Washington DC on

I have three boys, and the two oldest started showing interest at about that age too. The first was done (except at night) by two years old, and the second seemed to be done, then decided to re-do the diaper thing until right before three. Then, I just told him it was time to go potty, and had him potty at intervals aroudn waking, sleeping, etc.. My youngest is now two and 1/2, and he too started showing an interest at about 20 months. A mom of four told me when my youngest was interested that she had noticed a window of interest at about that age, and that if you followed up on it, it usually made it that much easier . . w/my experience, I would agree. I haven't worked w/my two year old as much, and have plans to really do so this spring/summer when it is warmer. I will say, w/my older two, it was such a breeze just to follow their lead and run w/their interest. And you don't have to teach them standing up. All mine have sat, you can even sit them backwards, so they get the idea they potty facing the toilet. That helps w/the larger toilet. And when he uses the smaller potty, my youngest likes to dump it and flush it himself, making him want to use it more.

Hope this helps, A.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.S.

answers from Washington DC on

My son is the same age. I am not pushing him to train, but he's gone as often as 4 times a day on the potty and is very interested in trying to poop on the potty. I figure as long as he's interested, it doesn't hurt to help him along. Also, he's imitating us in other ways, so I think he's more accepting of it now than when he gets older. Fisher Price makes a potty for about $25 that plays music when he goes potty on it. He LOVES it. Also, you can teach him signs or words for potty or poop and pee, and he can start telling you either just after he went or when he's going to go, so you know he understands the sensation/is able to predict when it's going to happen. He also loves books from the library about potty training. Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.L.

answers from Washington DC on

A.,

You have to do what works for your child. As you can see from all the responses you've gotten, all kids (male and female) are different and there's no one way to skin the potty training cat. I have 2 boys and they learned extremely differently. With my older now 5yo, little interest was shown until after 2yo, he learned sitting on a little potty while being left bare-bottomed, sat for almost a year before standing and would pee in the toilet for almost a year before he finally pooped in the toilet. With my now 28 mo, sitting on the little potty was like torture to him, sitting on the big toilet only happens now for poop as he stiffens his legs on any attempt to make him sit when he doesn't need to. Leaving him bare-bottomed left lots of puddles on the floor. Poop came shortly after pee and he's been in underwear all day and night for a week now with no accidents. Nothing I learned with my first son helped with my second son. Follow his lead, try not to stress if things take longer than anticipated/hoped for, and things should go well.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.H.

answers from Washington DC on

Some advice..... I would start by teaching him sitting down. He can later learn to do it standing up. It is way to complicated to have to learn how to aim at the same time as learning to pee in the pot. There is absolutely nothing wrong with sitting down. Until he is really good at figuring out when he has to pee and poop I would wait on the standing thing.... (you can always let Daddy teach him that part). Two methods that I have seen work really well. The first takes a huge comittment on your part.... Set a timer from the time he gets up in the am. Every 30 minutes to one hour you have to take him to sit on the toilet. When he actually does something on it give him huge praise! The other is a twist on that. Take him to the potty every hour but if he has an accident don't get mad but make him help clean it up.... paper towels, putting clothes in wash, and then take a quick bath with no toys and no playing all business. This tends to get the message that if they don't go in the potty there is a mess to clean up. It really does work. It will probably take a week but after that you should be golden. Lot's of praise and reward are a good thing.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions