Potty Traing a Kid Who Is Not Quite Ready Yet.

Updated on May 09, 2010
D.S. asks from Katy, TX
15 answers

I know most of you are going to say wait. but I do have my reasons for it. Normally I wouldn't do this. so here goes. I have a two yr old who has had severe yeast infections most of his life. I can get rid of them I cant keep them away. I have tried everything and just got new suggestions the other day. which I am going to try. But if I can potty train him Yeast infections should disappear I am hoping. His second birthday was 3 days ago. he has about 3 dirty to 5 dirty diapers a day which isn't bad. So I believe he can hold it. When I was letting him run around bare bottomed he peed and shocked himself and I think it kinda scared him peeing on himself. anyway normal 2 yr old stuff. The only reason I dont believe he is ready is his speech is slow due to ear problems. and he wont sit still long. other than that I think he is ready. any thing I should do diffrent training a kid who is not quite ready?? if it wasnt medically necessary I wouldnt do it. I know the sign for dirty and wet but I can't get him to use them on a regular basis. thanks

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R.T.

answers from Orlando on

Whirrrrrrrrrrr....Whirrrrrrrrrrrrrr....Whirrrrrrrrrr....
That's the sound of the spinning wheels of a frustrated parent insisting on potty training a child who isn't ready.

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M.H.

answers from Lansing on

I don't know if this will help, but I started training my kids before they were "ready". I just got them on a routine. They woke up it was time to get on the potty. They want to eat, they needed to sit on the potty. Before bed you need to sit on the potty. I didn't say anything if they didn't, but I made a big deal about it if they did. I started this when they could walk. I have no clue if this made them potty train early, but I didn't have the problems or frustrations I have heard others having. Good Luck!

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P.M.

answers from Portland on

Hmmm, interesting problem. I can see why you'd hope he can train early.

However, training just plain takes longer when started too early, and parents and kids both get frustrated with it. Here's a theoritical situation based on the actual experiences of many young families I have known. If Child A might be able to successfully train at 2 1/2, but the parents start the process at 2, before he shows actual interest, the training will take about 6 months (possibly longer if stress, frustration and resistance become part of the situation). If Child B is not trained until he has demonstrated actual signs of physical and emotional readiness, which often happen around 2 1/2, the whole process takes 2 weeks, sometime less. With no stress, frustration or resistance.

Because boys frequently need more time/maturity to potty train than girls, because even girls seldom train "for keeps" before about 2 1/2, because of his speech delay, I am guessing you are in for a struggle, lots of accidents, and discouragement for both you and your son. But you do have compelling reasons for hoping for earlier success. I hope you come up with a system that works for you both.

One additional thought: when my husband was in the Peace Corps in Africa, he noted that the babies were not, for the most part, in diapers. The mothers became very attuned to the times and behaviors that signaled a need for evacuation, and would literally hold their babies over a potty, out a bus window, or over a ditch at those times. Hard to imagine all that by Western standards, but there is some wisdom in that careful attentiveness.

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A.G.

answers from Boston on

On a positive note, my 3 year old is very speech delayed and I thought he would be a late potty trainer but the month after he turned 2 he was done with diapers (during the day). I say let him go naked and just watch him. If he does look down to pee say "lets go pee on the potty" or if he starts to pee, jump up to scare him a bit to stop peeing and take him to the potty. I don't mean scare him scare him, but just enough to get him to realize what he's doing.
I haven't tried night time at all yet because I'm gong to wait until summer to start that.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

If you do a Google Search on "potty training speech delayed kids" or "potty training late talking kids", many articles will come up.

So my understanding is, and the whole point to your posted question is: You want to potty train him to stop the yeast infections? Keep in mind, that even potty trained kids, and adult women for that matter, can and still get yeast infections. Being in underwear and peeing on a toilet, does not stop, yeast infections.
It is NOT a "topical" problem only, where you just put creams on them, but can arise out of internal imbalances and in the flora or digestive tract. Candida travels/spreads through the digestive tract. Also causing "yeast" infections are, if too much sugar in the diet. Yeast, thrives in sugar. Or acidic fruits. Acidic fruits, in some, causes "red bottoms" which hurts too. I used to get that as a child, when I ate certain fruits or types of juices.

Next, make sure it is not a "fungus" infection, which yeast infections sometimes gets inferred. But, there are many kinds of "fungus" types... and not all creams can be used with all fungus types/infections.

Next, make sure it is not his diapers/brand that is causing his diaper rashes/infections. I recently read that Pampers dry-weave, has been causing actual rash burns on kids. But they have not proven it... it is just incredible coincidences that parents have complained about these awful rashes when using this type of Pampers.
Here is the link on this article:
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2010/05/06/health/main###-...

Next, make sure it is not maybe Eczema???

all the best,
Susan

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K.G.

answers from Sarasota on

That is a hard one. Are you a SAHM? Can you spend a whole bunch of time with him at home without his diapers on? There will be a lot of clean up at first, but if you have a potty around all the time and can keep an eagle eye on him, you might be able to learn his body language when he needs to pee or poop and run him to the potty. You will have many misses at first and it will be frustrating. I cannot guarantee how long it will take, but it is worth a shot. If you cannot do that, then I hate to say it but there might not be much you can do.

My oldest (now 4) was completely potty trained by 30 months, including night time. My 27 month old uses the potty but not regularly and I do not think she will be potty trained until around 3 yrs old. I think it has a lot to do with the fact she has digestion problems and thus does not have good control of her bowels quite yet AND the fact that we have a 13 month old running around in diapers. My middle daughter, I think, still wants to be the "baby" of the house and thus is not willing to give up the changing table just yet!

I have yet to meet someone who had their child potty trained before they were ready, but I am sure they are out there. Just be patient and do not get upset if accidents happen!

Good luck!

K.

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P.O.

answers from Jacksonville on

Start introducing it so he can get used to the idea. I waited until after 2 with my first son and it was hard getting him trained after that. The earlier the better and more time you have for fixing mistakes.

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H.H.

answers from Killeen on

Just keep him on a schedule of when to go, be consistent, and watch for signs that he needs to go. As long as you are consistent and the child is old enough, you should be able to potty train him, especially if it will be better for his health. I am one of those parents that just decided it was time and did it. Never looked back and never used pull-ups or training pants. Once you start- just do it and don't give up because starting then stopping, then looking for when he's ready, then decided when he's ready is when you get into trouble.

Good Luck!

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T.B.

answers from Chicago on

Hi D.,
My son potty trained pretty early. We started working on it- introducing sitting on the potty, watching potty videos, having a doll go pee on the potty, right around 22 months with him. It was slow going, but I took the lead on introducing him. 2 weeks after his 2nd birthday, he would go pee and poop on the potty, and started holding it during nap and bed times. When this started happening, we stopped diapers altogether. I don't see any problem in taking the lead on potty training, and introducing them to everything. If anything, I think it helps get them "ready" faster. My biggest fear was having him hit the "terrible twos", which I think makes potty training even MORE of an uphill climb. So, I say go for it. Don't be too pushy, but start putting him on the potty, and see how it goes. If he is not taking to it, you can step back and wait a few weeks, and try again. I swear by Matchbox cars. When my son had issues with going poop on the potty, Matchbox cars got us past it. All in all, he got the hang of it in 2 weeks at 24 months. So, don't be discouraged by those that say he is too young, or that boys take longer, etc. etc. You know your son, and you're not going to overdo it. Just play around with introducing different things and see how he responds. Find something that he really enjoys, and use it to reward him for a job well done.
Also, have you tried giving your son probiotics daily to combat his yeast issue? Nystatin often helps too. Poor guy- yeast is a horrible thing. I've been battling it for over 2 years now.

Good luck to you!
T.

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T.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi D.,
I don't think it is a lost cause. If you can communicate clearly with your son and have him clearly communicate his need to use the potty then you will definately be able to get him to do it. My son potty trained at only 26 months old. I saw him getting ready to go stand in his "poopy spot" and said to him, "hey buddy ya wanna do that on the potty instead of your diaper so that you don't get all stinky and gross" and his response was "yes". So from that day on he was potty trained. I also potty trained my youngest at 23 months old. I just stopped putting diapers on her. She was ready and within a week I had her potty trained.
I think it's all about how the mommy goes about it. If you make it an exciting thing and a big deal and even tell him it will help with his itching down there, maybe he will go for it. Don't get upset when he has accidents and be very consistent...I think you should be able to do it! Best wishes for success!

I have to say I agree with Melissa H. who says she just puts her kids on the potty consistantly at wake up, eating times and bed times. That will just get him in the routine. I think that's really good advice!

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M.P.

answers from Texarkana on

3 to 5 dirty diapers a day? That is probably why he is getting yeast infections. Has the dr checked him out? Most kids go once a day at the most. I think you have gotten to the root of the problem. As far as potty training when he's not ready, you won't be successful no matter how hard you try. He is just too young. I would just focus on "airing him out" as much as possible; let him run around without a diaper most of the time. And change dirty diapers pronto. Good luck!

Updated

Another thought, has his dr checked him for diabetes? Diabetics have recurrent yeast infections due to the high amount of sugar in the blood. Just a thought.

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C.P.

answers from Provo on

I am a person who would rather get to the root of the problem. I know that if a woman wears nylon underwear she is more likely to get yeast infections because nylon does not let her dry out like cotton does. You might look at the kind of diapers that you are using and go that route. I had a really terrible yeast infection that would not go away about a year ago and the only thing that finally helped was a product called Candex from the health food store. I used the Candex along with probiotics for a couple of months and I still use the probiotics. I know I get chewable probiotics for my son so that may be something you can try. The health food store also has a diet specially for yeast infections. I have a friend who has a yeast allergy and eating bread or too much sugar can give her a yeast infection in a matter of hours. She has a constant prescription of Diflucan. I have potty trained a few children and often if the child is not quite ready it will prolong the process. They end up with complete resistance to the toilet. My son decided that he wanted to train at two but 2 years old is usually young for a boy.

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S.C.

answers from Fort Wayne on

Well, I don't think 3-5 dirty diapers a day is very good. Do you mean wet or poopy? Cause if you mean wet, that's not enough. If that's all he's peeing, then he needs to drink more water.
I'm sure you've tried, but I'm going to throw it out there...have you tried different brands of diapers? Different brands of wipes? Letting him air dry before putting a diaper on him? Maybe not using wipes at all? You can just use a warm washcloth. Changing his diaper every two hours?
I can tell you that if he's not ready, he's not going to potty train. There is NO miracle that's going to make him go. You can sit him on the potty. You can beg. You can plead. You can bribe. But if he's not ready, it's not going to happen.
I'm guessing that you're having him seen by a pediatrician each time he gets a yeast infection. If not, you should be. It might be a staph infection. lt could also just be an irritant rash. My daughter gets those (she's 3 and ptd and still gets them). If you're pediatrician isn't doing anything more than prescribing OTC meds constantly, then I'd seek another opinion.
Like the previous poster said, you want to find the root of the problem.

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G.H.

answers from Chicago on

So negatives are:
you don't believe he's ready
he has medical issues with yeast infections
he has ear infections
he has frustration from speech delay
he is a boy
he just turned 2
he still poops a lot
he won't sit long

Yikes, this is not looking good for you or him. Was this suggested by your Dr? All I can say is if there is to much resistance from him give up for a while otherwise you will more than likely prolong him being potty trained when he's actually ready. Make it fun for him, like put cheerio O's in the toilet & help him aim at them & buy books or if you have a portable DVD player let him watch a movie. Best wishes for both of you :)

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J.S.

answers from Little Rock on

just wait til ready. both my boys only took a couple weeks because they were ready and able to communicate well. it causes a whole lot less frustration and work and just makes sense. try airing him out more and like other moms said, maybe different diapers or testing for other things because it's not normal to keep getting yeast infections that often.

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