Possibly Aspergers.

My uncle has aspergers. He is brilliant and focused about things he is interested in... Not so much in others.

My little brother was a champion manipulator, and would act like he couldn't do things, even when he was perfectly capable.

So I can honestly see it being either. Lol.

Get her evaluated, and go from there. :)

Each school district has an office that handles testing and IEPs. In oregon it's called the county Intermediate Service District. My granddaughter's teacher didn't know about it. My daughter learned about it through her son's pediatrician. You can call the school district's administrative office to get their phone number.

Your daughter can have an IEP based on ADHD and OCD. She doesn't have to be diagnosed with Aspergers. My granddaughter received extra help with math and language based on her diagnoses of ADHD.

My quirky boy gets good grades and tests very high. The fact remains that he isn't neurotypical regardless of his academic ability. He has had an IEP since he was 7.

Although our school is extremely accommodating, we opted to go private with the evaluations and get a medical Dx. Having that info is very empowering. If the school still gives you a hard time, get a legal advocate.

Put your request to have her tested in writing, and in our state (MA) they have to respond within 30 or 45 school days. We also got an advocate. Our daughter has dyslexia and they kept telling us she was making good grades so everything was fine. She even passed Spanish and cannot even spell in English! Good grades are not the whole picture. Objective test results will tell you so much. We paid to have a neuropsych test her and interpret his results for us. You know your own child better than anyone, trust your instincts.

When the kids are "functional", there's denial. You are a great mom for taking care of this. It really can be the luck of the draw in terms of how schools are/teachers are.

SOOOO many people do NOT understand how the Autism Spectrum affects the brain and behaviors. My son is 6 years old and has PDD-NOS. He is also academically strong, his vocabulary is huge, BUT he needs help in other areas that would be considered "easy". Once you have the diagnosis, they will HAVE to deal with it. And honestly, if she's doing very well, there are basic accommodations that will help her that don't cost a lot, it's just teachers having an open mind and making an effort.

Approach the teacher as working together as a team to help your daughter succeed. That helps a lot. I email my kid's teacher on Thursdays to see if there are challenges to help with over the weekend.

If she is on the specturm, let me recommend a blog that changed my outlook and attitude. adiaryofamom.wordpress.com. Mom of 2 kids, one on the spectrum who has delays - the story from diagnosis at age 3 to present (I think the daughter is 9 or 10). Her journey is amazing, and she shares a LOT of it. Some of her posts are great re. how to approach the school. Some are seeing things from a different perspective.

You can also go to her "community support" page and copy this question onto it. If parents have suggestions, they will respond.

EDIT: email to Matt P. sent (on his regular email, I don't think he is on mamapedia much)
EDIT #2: My 5 yr old also cant get herself dressed on her own, but her twin has been dressing herself since 18mo. It is part of her vestibular (balance/coordination) and touch Processing disorders and her fine and gross motor skill delays. She may do well with an OT evaluation.
Just to add: to look at my Bren, you would never know she was anything but normal, like most 5 yr olds she doesn't do well with self control.

There are so many laws that school systems "hide" from parents. I have been a teacher for 21 years, BUT I am an art teacher and have never had to deal with IEPs and such, other than to know what accommodations I need to make for children with them.
Last year the pre-K teacher said that she thought one of my twin daughters was displaying symptoms of something, maybe ADHD.
I called a Special Ed. teacher/friend and she recommended I speak with the Special Ed. pre-K teacher.
Her advice was to have an OT evaluation first as the way that children deal with Sensory Processing Disorders often manifests as ADHD. I spent the whole summer getting her tested, evaluated and served with Occupational Therapy.
You have to have your pediatrician request the Occupational Eval. and the pediatrician, based on the OTs eval will write a prescription for the therapy.
My daughter has 6 SPDs and 4 areas of developmental delays, three of which are in fine motor skills. These were found by the OT. My daughter also has ADHD, both the inattentive type and the impulsive type as diagnosed by a psychologist who works solely with children.

Here is what I have learned about schools and a child with a diagnosis:
If you request IN WRITING that your child be tested, they MUST test/evaluate your child.
If you then do not agree with the diagnosis you can request that an outside evaluator do the testing.
When you send a written request letter, the school or district MUST respond within 10 days.
The school with say that she does NOT need an IEP because her academics are fine. YOU will have to be the advocate that says Her behaviors WILL affect her academics, because her self esteem will suffer from being in trouble for things she cant control yet. THEN, when her self esteem goes down, it will effect her whole life.
There is SO Much more!
Look up IDEA law, 504 law, ADA therapy. I will send an email to Matt. P. on this site. He has a 10 year old son with high functioning autism. He knows SO MUCH more than I do. He is the one who helped with my daughter and the school and as his son is similar to your daughter, he can give you so much more info. He is currently is a fight with his school district over their refusal to do the things in the IEP and to give the needed services to his son.

The schools response makes me mad. I'm sorry they react that way. Unfortunately when it comes to Aspergers (my son is the same age as your daughter, diagnosed PDD-NOS, and exhibits many of the same characteristics) so many people that don't understand see that they excel in one area and therefore they "just want to act such and such way."

Proceed with the testing - who cares what the teachers/school counselor is saying - the psychiatrist believes this is the correct path - go with it. Once diagnosed you can get the IEP to help with social skills.

Best of luck to you - we have to be the best advocate for our children and you are doing great!!

I, too, have run into, "But she's so smart," as a reason why the school refused to test my child. Ultimately I put my request for testing in writing and sent it to both the school and the district. In my state, this obliged them to respond and give her at least the baseline testing for learning disabilities. And when she was tested, it turned out that I was right about what was going on with her, the thing her teacher simply refused to see.

Do not let them put you off getting an IEP (or adjusting an existing one) with the "she's so smart" argument. So are many children with issues that interfere with success in a school environment. Stick to your guns, mama!

I would put in an official written request for an evaluation by the school district. Although I believe they can technically refuse most districts will do it when a parent puts a request in writing. The other thing you could do it get an outside evaluation to take to the school (if she gets diagnosed with something). Asperger's is considered a disability so it has to be recognized by the school. Good luck!

Hi,

I don't have a direct answer to your question, but I do have a recommendation for getting dressed in the morning. My daughter has lots of trouble staying on task in the morning. I mean very she is very visually distracted and mornings can be a nightmare. I bought her an "On Task - On Time" timer and my mornings are like a dream now. It was pricey but I was desperate. Here's the link http://www.amazon.com/Timely-Matters-Inc-KBP100G-On-Task/... After a couple of weeks she did not even need the timer any more. Sometime she regresses and we have to start over with the timer again.

I would like to also add that your daughter might have some sensory sensitivities that prevent her from regulating herself in class like the other kids. Sometimes when they get overwhelmed by (too much noise, light ect) they just tune out. If that is the case, I recommend some type of therapeutic listening - Again, my daughter did similar things like not lining up with the others and not taking care of basic needs and when we tried therapeutic listening we saw a tremendous difference. Ease CD# 2 from Vital sounds did wonders for us. We have since moved on to a more sophisticated program but I will never forget the dramatic changes that we got from that CD....Just a thought.

Best to you.
C.

I went my entire school life with being told that I didn't focus and that I wan't trying because I was too social in class. I scored well on state exams and was well spoken, but looking back now I struggled with keeping focused and comprehension. Follow your instincts and go with what ever testing and assistance she can get. It will only be for the best.

She has been diagnosed ADHD and OCD. Is she getting services for these. Does she have an IEP. i would assume she does. What you describe is ADD. Guess I am having trouble with the not being able to get her coat. What does that mean. My two year old grandson gets his coat. She can walk she should be able to get her coat.

By putting on another label, will not necessarily get her more services. Might tweak what she is getting.

Have you tried putting up a chart for her in the morning. Brush teeth, make bed, get dressed etc. have her check off things as she goes. Following her, will not help her become a bit more independent.

Is she on an IEP or are you working on that by getting her tested through the school? I would think that Aspergers would warrant testing. just because she excels in one area doesn't mean that she excels in all areas including motor skills. If you are in a public school district, I'm surprised they won't test considering they get some money depending on the diagnosis. Once you get the official diagnosis, you shouldn't have problems with the testing through the school and getting an IEP or 504 Plan started. The testing takes a long time so have patience.
Good luck to you. Whatever you do, do not back down. Hold your ground

Seriously, who cares if the school says that? Once the full evaluation is done, take it to school and get her an IEP/504 plan. Stand up for her and make it clear that you WILL NOT hear any more talk about how she's being manipulative or choosing to not focus (who does that and WHY, anyway?).

You have to advocate for her, even in the face of naysayers.

1st: put your request for assessment in writing, they cannot refuse to test her at that point.
2nd: All you need to get her evaluated is a recognizable need
3rd: If you do not agree with the determination of their evaluation you can request in writing that they use an Independent Provider to do an Independent Evaluation at the districts expense
4th: Cost is not an issue because the money provided to the state then to the district by the fed is almost double what they get for educating a typical child.
5th: You are mom, you are right and you will prevail..... keep fighting
6th: I will get together some sites for you to check and I will keep posting info when I am able. Currently in my 3rd battle with my district in this war of wills so it may be a few days before I get back to you but start with a written request to evaluate and always ask for a Prior Written Notice about any actions, decisions or refusals by the district and these should include reasons why what is being done or not being done is happening.