Overcoming Fears

What about taking a boating/water safety class as a family? What about swimming lessons also?

Maybe you could agree upon a "wind speed" limit. If the wind is expected to be above that limit he can opt out or you could reschedule for another day.

If he still objects and is truly frightened I don't think I would make him go. It seems to me it would most likely do more harm than good.

t?

We too have a boat and our summers completely revolve around it. We however have a huge boat with a complete downstairs (bedroom, bath, ect). My kids are 2,3 and 6 and we have been boating with them for the last 2 years. When the baby was really young I would take them downstairs when the boat was running so they felt safer. Eventually (like 2 times later) they wanted on deck. Now they adore it and have been asking all winter when we get to go out. The baby falls asleep everytime the boat runs. One thing that helps us too is that we don't actually run the boat that much- the kids have all day to get off and play and swim, ect. Good luck- I know how hard this is. You don't want him to be upset but as a fellow sahm I know how badly you need to get out and be on the water doing something you love and brings so much peace.

Since the warm weather is still a bit away, you have the time to make "baby steps" in helping your child want to participate in your pass time. Does he have a toy sailboat? You could start by making it part of tub time and then allow him to play freely (but supervised, of course) in the sink full of water. Then in a wading pool. Most toy sailboats are hard to keep upright and he will be challenged by this which is an opportunity to tell him about the mechanics of the boat - something most boys are drawn to. Perhaps check out a cartoon containing sailing in it and then more of a "real" children's film from the library. The next step would be to get him near your boat, and then later on the boat while it is not sailing (maybe for the pre-season clean-up?), and then later still for short excursions. If he is still not interested in joining you, perhaps there is a relative or friend he could stay with when you go out on the boat. When you return, make sure you all tell him how much fun you had and all of the things that you saw. This will be especially effective if coming from his sibling. Not to guilt him, but rather to inform him and to peak his interest). The next time you go out he might be more likely to want to come along. Even if he doesn't you aren't going to lose out since you will be providing an opportunity for special one-on-one time with the person who babysits him. I grew up on the water and it is something special. I, too, hope our children enjoy our passion. Good luck!

Why don't you try giving him some swimming lessons? I'm sure you all wear life jackets on the boat so he's safe anyway, but he may have a fear of drowning. If you knew how to swim and tread water, he might feel more secure.
W.

If it were my situation.

I would make other arrangements that I would feel confident leaving him at and go enjoy the day. Your day will ruined trying to comfort his fears and the overall experience may not be worth all the effort after all.
To each his own and sailing is not something that is needed to learn how to survive life.

Sounds fun -- enjoy.

I wonder if you purchased a remote control sailboat for him, would that spark his interest in the sport? I was going to say a toy sailboat, but I was afraid if it tipped it may scare him even more.

hi diane. sorry to hear about your little boy. im sure he will outgrow it. just like roller coasters and other sorts of scary things. i personally, wouldnt force him. i think he will warm back up to the idea of sailing as time passes. are you able to have a sitter for him and just go with your hubby and daughter? i know you dont want to leave him behind, but he is telling you that he is scared and doesnt want to go. im sure after a few times of you 3 coming home and talking about your awesome adventure sailing, he will begin to see that everything is ok. does he have any friends from school and anything else that he associate with a security feeling? maybe let him bring his best friend along once he is ready or the family dog or anything else that might take his mind off of that scared feeling. sometimes little boys are so competitive and will show off more in front of their friends rather then let on that they are scared. but even if he does remain fearful.. just reassure him that its ok to be scared. try not to make too big of a deal about it or make him feel bad for being afraid. im almost certain that he will outgrow it though since it is your familys passion. good luck and please let us know what ends up working for you!

I say good grief if he's traumatized by it even though little sister likes going, don't make him go. He may think of it as a death vehicle. Don't threaten to make him go, either. I'd find other arrangements for him-just see what some alternatives are. I'm sure if your family had planned to go white water rafting or swimming and one of your kids got sick or a broken leg or something you would plan around it-this you just know ahead of time. Just don't threaten to make him go, or it will be no vacation for him. Maybe you should ask him if there's something he would like to do while you are sailing, or maybe one of you could stay back on shore with him and do something fun together, then go out the next launch. He may never overcome that fear. I didn't.

Try letting him play on the boat on land? Don't force him. Maybe get a sitter for him or leave him at your mom's for the trip.

Diane,
Whatever you do, don't give up your boat....it will only show your son that he has control. I would suggest maybe hiring a babysitter for him the next time you want to go out on the boat....then he will realize that he is missing out on something, and will want to go with you next time. You could also use this as a teaching opportunity...ie. how the wind makes the boat move.
J. W.

I think dealing with fears depends upon the child. My first thought when reading your post is to NOT push him into it if he is that afraid. Fear is actually a form of anxiety. You don't want to make his anxiety over this so bad that he begins to manifest physical symptoms like stomache issues or sleep issues. You have to make him feel that you are there to comfort and protect him from all harm.

Having said that...I have a son who becomes afraid of "first times" with many things and like your son is usually fearless. We know him well enough that we know that if he tries something once he'll love it forever. He was SOOO afraid of water slides this year, the big ones. We knew that once he did it he would love it. So (and I'll probably get many opositions to this) we paid him $40 to go down it once (not kicking and screaming...it was on his own!). Sure enough he LOVED it and has never looked back. We did the same with a roller coaster. Worked like a charm. Our theory is that we have just paid a fortune to go to these amusement parks and $40 extra is worth it to have him enjoy himself. Plus he sort of felt like it was HIS accomplishment at that point. SO.....offer him money!!