Nose Piercings

Sometimes kids ask for things and secretly hope their requests will be denied so they can tell the other kids "my parents won't let me!" It gives them an "out" while also reaffirming that their parents really do care about them. Body piercing is permanent, and I'd hate to think what a hole in the nose is going to look like in 20 years. I know tattoos get pretty gruesome looking in older years.

A young woman at the college where I teach had one, and it was abcessed (very bad infection). Nasty! Wait until she's older (18 and out of high school) and has a better perspective on whether she wants to alter her appearance in this fairly permanent way, and whether it's worth the riks of scarring, infection, and whether it fits in with her career goals.

Does she really want to wear tape on her nose to school everyday? I think that's a bit much. Also, nose piercings do not typically close without leaving a mark. So even though a piercing is a better option than a tattoo for a teenager it may still have permanent effects.

If you and her father are not on agreement about it though it seems like a bad idea.

gailski had a lot of 'eeewwwss' going on. had to laugh.
so i'll just chuckle and move on:
two things are working against your daughter:
school rules
dad against it.
you should side with dad so you put up a united front.
your daughter can get a nose piercing when she turns 18. for the time being, tell her that she is not allowed because school does not allow it, and that dad is not comfortable, hence you are not comfortable.
worse thing that happens is when parents disagree on an issue, sending mixed signal to the child. it is either the right thing to do or it's not
i have no problems with body piercing but i believe one should decide when living on their own and of legal age, if parents do not agree with it.
she can be a CEO of a company and have a piercing. i didn't find the memo contradicting this :)
so bottom line: no nose piercing because of school rules
good luck

just a thought... tell her that she needs to wear a band aid/tape on her face for one year (even for all school pictures! wont that be fun) and for any occasion that she would have to cover her piercing, then at the end of the year you will re-visit the issue as long as she hasn't missed a day. the problem may solve it's self... although I do agree that you and the father must show a united front on the issue.

I had a friend that wore a magnetic nose jewel when ever she wanted to have that "look" but she never had to actually pierce her nose, this may be a good alternative to an actual piercing. But the Father would have to be okay with this option, or in my opinion she should not try this idea either.

If the school does not allow it then, I think you need to respect their rules even if you dont agree with them, that's just part of life, we all have to do that to some degree. I'm not against body piercing in general but many people will treat you differently because of them, and I dont think a 14 year old is equipped to make that kind of a decision. As a parent you must always come to an agreement with the other parent on these bug issues, and this is one of the big issues. and my last comment is if you do have any kind of a piercing done, have it done in a Dr's office, too many things could go wrong.

So you don't care that she is going against school rules? And evidently you don't respect your husband's opinion if you are coming here to ask us if YOU should let her do it.

And with those 2 things, you say you don't have a reason to say no? Are you kidding me? .

I'm glad Gailski B. is not my mom. She needs to get out more. I work with a CEO (he designs my web page and MANY others) who makes millions and he has a nose piercing and ear piercings. And he is just ONE example. I guess in bumbleF Boise you don't see much diversity! lol

I think your daughter is too young. I went with my daughter when she was 17 to get her belly button pierced. She had a job and made the money and paid for it herself. She now has a lip piercing, (she's 22) but I was against that. Anybody can get an infection when they get a piercing, and if it's on your face you're gonna have scars. My daughters good friend had an ear piercing get infected when she was 12, and she lost half her ear. So because of that I would say no. How about another ear hole? (When she's old enough, I'd tell her she can do what she wants with her body.)

My kids aren't there yet...but this is what I've said to myself for when we do get there. I hung out with a lot of alternative people as a teen: tattoos, piercings, odd hair, odd clothes, etc. They were the best people!

That being said, now that we're all in our late 30s, the hair you can change, the body altering things (tats, piercings) you can't. So all the things that were fun/cool in our teens aren't anymore. People change...a lot...

I'd let her do anything she wants to to her hair. Wear anything she wants -OK, not *anything* but you get the idea. I would NOT let her get a tat or a piercing. If she wants to permanently alter her body she can do it when she moves out and is an adult. The hair will always grow back in, the clothes can be changed. GL!

You do have a reason to say no. Her father has said no and the two of you must back each other up. If you don't back his no, you are undermining his authority.

Perhaps you're looking for reasons to present to him to change his mind? I can't give you any good reasons for this to be an ongoing discussion with him.

Yes, piercings are quite common now. But as long as they cannot be seen at school, students should not have them. Again, it's a matter of backing up their authority. Kids' brains are just not developed enough to really understand the reasons for exceptions, such as covering with a piece of tape. Doing so feels like getting away with breaking the rules. "I can do (this) if no one can see me doing it sort of idea.

There is a good reason for the rule of no piercings. Piercings are equated with rebellion even tho kids have them for other reasons. Especially now a days. When one has piercings they are often perceived differently than those without piercings. It isn't right to be judged on appearance but the business world still does. It is a rare employer who will allow visible piercings.

I've never seen a nose piercing covered with tape. Actually, I don't think I've ever seen a piercing covered with tape. Tatoos yes, but not piercings. Tape doesn't actually cover them because they are dimensional. The tape draws attention to the piercing rather than covering it. Have you, yourself, checked with the school?

I've seen people remove their piercing jewelry when they go to work and then put it back in afterwards. You can't do that until the piercing heals.

You mentioned the possibility of acting differently with a piercing. That is a reasonable possibility. I think, because piercing is changing ones appearance in a way that may scar, just like a tatoo, that it's best left until one is an adult and more aware of the actual consequences for their adult life.

I view pierced ears differently because doing so has been around for ages and is more socially acceptable by all ages and walks of life. I would not (did not) give permission for multiple ear piercings for the same reasons I didn't give permission for a nose piercing.

My daughter pierced her nose, tongue and multiple ear piercings once she was able to do it without my signed permission. That was OK with me. She was accepting responsibility for what happened. She removed all of them except for single ones in her ears by the time she was 21 or so.
She does have small scars.

Dear K.:

My daughter is also 14 and has asked about a nose piercing. Most of her older cousins have one, so that's where the idea came from. At least none of her 14-year-old friends have one!

Our school is the same as yours, she would have to cover it up. We said no. I let her get her ears pierced once and may let her get the ear double piercing when she's 16, but no more. Our rule is once you're 18, have graduated high school and pay for on your own is your business. Not before!

Interestingly, after we said no to the nose piercing she changed her mind about doing it and switched to thinking about the double ear piercing.

L. F., mom of a 14-year-old daughter who also has excellent grades

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It is interesting to see how conservative states outside the West Coast are. Here in the Northwest, tattoos and piercings don't carry the same social stigma that others are posting about. It is not a sign of deficiency or delinquency here. Every level of profession, including education is accepting of personal body adornment. I too know CEO's and leaders in different professions that have facial piercings and such, I even know one with a full facial tattoo. It is so normative here to see body adornments, so it is weird to hear such strong views warning against societal consequences.

I would probably let my own daughter get a nose piercing at 14, but I would have her earn the money for it. When I was about that age I pierced my own belly button, had tribal plugs and had many other ear piercings. But I was also drug free(still am) and practiced complete abstinence.(until 18 anyways) I have no regrets about the scar in my bellybutton or the tattoos I got in later years, because I own that time in my life. I will probably get more tattoos in the future, ultimately covering both arms completely. But on the other hand I refused to pierce my daughters ears as a baby, and probably won't let her for a few more years:)

I do think it is your choice as a parent to reflect your own values in your decisions, so it sounds like you and dad might be conflicting in views over this. It sounds like his reasons are more based on what he perceives the nosering to represent and your views are more about a reward to getting good grades and a response to the cool factor. I think it would be okay to support him in his views on this issue, because it sounds like it affects him a great deal, and it may not affect you as much one way or the other.

Yeah, I got piercings when I was this age as well.. totally regret it b/c now I have scars, as well as chosen to be more conservative and modest in my adult years, and that I am not defined by alterations like these.

Hopefully, she realizes that while some people may not scar, some people will, and she may change her mind one day about it.

I really think I would wait until she was older, it will help teach her patience and respect for authority (such as her school), as well as allow her to really find out who she is first.

Also, she shouldn't be changing her body or doing anything like that because of what her friends are doing or want her to do.

Where we live you have to be 18 years of age to get piercings on parts other than ear lobes... I think that 14 is a little young to let her make that kind of decision, and as others have stated, dad thinks it's not ok, so you two should be a united front on that.

Piercing never close up, or I should say completely disappear. At least mine didn't... it never fully healed and so I got tired of messing with it and took it out. But I still have a hole there that I can see. I was much older than 14 when I got my nose pierced.

Piercing is a big fad now for some and a way of life for others. At 14 your daughter hasn't even established who she is. I'd say no until she's 18.

Good luck~

I think as long as you and your husband both agree, it's not a big deal. Just because she gets her nose pierced she has not ruined her life. lol geesh people.

I think 14 year olds want a lot of things and there are always peers allowed to do it - drinking, sex, piercings, whatever. If her dad is against it I think that needs to be considered. People are perceived by how they look (right or wrong) as I have told my children pertaining to hair, clothes, tattoos and piercings. That said, I allowed both my kids 16 and 17 to get small tats earlier this year but in an area where they cannot be seen with regular clothing on and my daughter got a belly piercing for her 17 th b'day.....it was our compromise for her wanting a nose piercing....she is older and understands that she has to wait for certain things until it is more age appropriate - perhaps you can talk with her dad and then the two of you reach a compromise with your daughter for when she is older or get the fake ones which is what my daughter has when she wants that look...hope this helps

I don't think piercings are a big deal either - I've got a couple myself. I would caution you against letting her do it if her father is against it though. If the two of you are not on the same page & you let her do it anyway then you are setting it up so that she can play you guys against each other. I would wait if I were you until either her dad is on board or she is old enough to do it on her own (legally).

Legally, a business is not authorized to pierce body parts other then ears to minors. If a business is piercing underage children and blatantly breaking the law...I can only imagine what their sanitary practices are. NO, you should not allow her to do it. You would be condoning breaking the law and teaching, if someone will do it, then it's OK. She won't be able to have what her friends have all the time and it's a poor reason to allow something you aren't in agreement with. As she grows, she will go through countless situations, where she won't be able to have things others have and she'll have to learn to deal with it at some point.

We have had this dilemma at out house as well........I personally dont have any issues with it but my husband does.......Both our girls are great kids, make exceptional grades and are all just really good kids. I believe it may have something to do with our generations perception of piercings......
The kids that got them in "other" areas were the "different" ones in school and in general........For my hubby I think it evokes a "skank" factor......but could not say for ceratin. I have heard this from several men/guys our age and no not old, just products of our childhood's. At this point, I figure better to pick my battles than fight him on it.......and tell my kids it is out of respect for their father's wishes and when they move out or turn 18 they can make their own choices. I sound like my mother.........hahaha Hate that when it comes full circle. Maybe you could dig deep and see where his reservations stem from and he may or may not change his mind........MEN, they can be so stubborn at times and a wee bit closed minded........:) Good luck!!!!

Hi K., I am not opposed to nose piercings what so ever. In fact in my younger tears I had a big purple ring through mine, lol. The only problem I see with it is the school rules. Wearing tape on her face is going to get old. Maybe encourage her to wait until next summer. That way she will have some time to enjoy it before school starts. I have a feeling that once the novelty wears off she is not going to want to keep covering it up.

I love these kinds of things that are so balanced.

1- Strongly for
2- Okay either way
3- Strongly against

I love them, really do, because if all 3 can calmly sit down they are PERFECT teaching moments for respect and compromise. Also... one never really knows which way they will go. Which makes it interesting.

My dad felt the same way your husband feels about getting my ears pierced at 16. He feels that earrings are mutilating your body for vanity. LOL... now my MOM has her ears pierced, and he likes them, it's not a moral position he has, just a consistent one. He feels equally about ears being pierced as he does lips, eyebrows, navels, la bret, dimples, noses, prince alberts... you name a body part to put a hole in. He does not feel that as a husband it is his responsibility to teach my mother about vanity, how vain she is is her own choice, and he will NOT disrespect her choices, even if he doesn't agree with them. (My dad just rocks). He teases her about her ears, but she just laughs and hugs him. My dad NEVER gets angry at the different choices people make, unless their choices hurt others.

He had no problem when I was an adult about my piercings (ears, navel, eyebrow), but while I was still a child under his roof, any piercing I made had to be gotten with his permission : therefore reflected on him. So he NEVER granted it. To any of his children. But the moment we could sign for ourselves, we were "more than welcome to all the metal on our faces or bodies we wished, as long as we were willing to be teased about it by him".

I only know all of this because we DID have this discussion. There was no compromise reached, merely understanding. And yes. I pouted and stomped. And raised my voice several octaves. And begged. And pleaded. And threatened. But since he never got upset, and neither did my mum, my dramatics only kept me entertained. Then when I came home on leave (after moving out), with piercings (ears) and he said they looked very pretty, I finally got it. (I'm not very smart). He really meant what he said. He honestly didn't care/ liked how they looked... but would not allow me to "mutilate my own body until it was my legal right to do so".

Since my mum likes pierced ears, she could very easily have just taken us to do it, and then had to deal with my father (after all, it wouldn't be OUR fault if one parent said yes, it would be the person who said yes to deal with the person who said no). I WILL (sneakily) admit that she took me 3 times to get my ears pierced for special events, and that the piercings were taken out before coming home.

I hope this is a joke. So is she going to where tape on her nose for the next 4 years??!! Typically on this site Dads get bashed for not parenting their children or not being involved enough but in your case I have to say YEAH to Dad, he is thinking clearly that a 14 yr old girl getting her nose PIERCED is way out of line. And getting her nose pierced because her friends think it's cool is NOT a good enough reason. Maybe you could suggest she gets new friends.

My suggestion is to ask her what career she would want when she gets older. Then take her to see that actual profession & see how many people have their nose pierced.

Please make her wait till she is at least 18. Although you can't think of a reason to say no I can think of at least a dozen. Email me if you want my list.

At age 14 and the fact that her school doesn't allow it -I would say no. I have no problems with piercings or tattoos (I have 3 of those and am eagerly awaiting my 4th), but she's still really young, and does she really want to wear tape on her nose to school every day? In my day it was multiple ear piercings, and I got a lot of them, but my school had no rules regarding it. Maybe she should wait until 16 and if she still wants it and is willing to wear tape every day, then have at it!

I think the laws are in place for a reason (think of some of the things you may have 'wanted' when you were 14). I snuck and got my belly button pierced when I was 15...I've regretted it since I was 18. If she still wants it when she's 18, maybe the piercing and jewelry could be a birthday present from you?

I read through a few of the responses and stopped at Gailskis. I personally feel like that response is an attack.

Maybe she lives under a rock. The response makes her appear very judgmental and she's missing out on meeting some good people because of her views. BUT.....everyone has an opinion and is entitled to it.

Figure out the REAL reason your daughter wants this piercing. Getting a piercing because it is "cool" is not the right reason. I think 14 is a bit young for this type of decision but it is your daughter. It is also breaking school rules.

Good luck and I am sorry you got so slammed for asking your question.

i have piercings myself however my rule is that they can get them when they are allowed to, meaning that if they can't do it without my signature it's a no go, plus they cant wear it to school so whats the point? not wearing it to school also means not wearing it to any school functions. i have no problem with piercings but like i said just let it be something to do in your "adult" life

I did it at 17 and I have a permanent scar. I don't regret it for a second, but while I could cover it for school, I never had a job that would allow it and I lost interest in my 20s. The scar, however, is permanent. When I've mentioned it to friends who met me later in life they say, "Oh, I just thought that was a pimple." So she'll have something that looks like a pimple that will never ever go away. Is she old enough to decide to do that? I don't think 14 is old enough, personally.

I think 14 is young to make decisions about permanently changing your face. I would tell her she can have it when she's old enough to pay any potential medical bills resultant of a hole in an area where there is a lot of bacteria. That's not a cut-down, but the truth. I think the right to decide about changes to one's body has to come with some sort of responsibility, like having a job that can pay medical bills.

I feel the same way about ear piercing. My dd had to save up and make the decision for herself. She did and I supported her, but I didn't pay for it. I'm mean that way. :)

NO, the child is 14 she does not know what she wants right now. Let her turn 18 before she makes that decision. If she still wants one then, it is her choice. She might hate it later.

While a piercing doesn't seem to be a big deal to many of us, if her Dad said no, than it is no. There is nothing wrong with waiting and better yet, nothing wrong with granting her father's wishes.

I think he is right in allowing her the opportunity to make those decisions when she is old enough, since it can scar and as well it can infect.

You mention she did research. I am interested in her resources. I know for a fact body piercing get infected because my friend who is a doctor gets to treat these infections. Google it. Nose piercing infections.

I don't think a nose piercing is inherently bad. But it is inappropriate for a 14 year old. Let he do it as an adult. At a minimum, it is invasive, easily infected, and she may not take care of it. I also woudl be terrified of where she would get it done - she is at risk of hepetits, TB , and worse. She needs to be much older. I also agree that letting her firends set the tone is a bad idea. Use this as amoment to tech her she shouldn't copy others.

I just recently allowed my (almost) 16 yr old to get her upper ear cartiledge pierced, for legal purposes the store had to see a state issued photo id from both of us, she has her beginner driver permit but that is the only id we carry (passports aren't daily in our purses..haha!)

Anyway, my opinion is that these legal loopholes are there to make sure the child is old enough to deal with the consequences. And even though my dgtrs is in her ear, the flesh colored bandage was still visible when she had to pull her hair back for cheerleading. Her sponsor would've stroked if she had pierced her nose.

Think through all those consequences, clubs, sports, extra curricular activities..especially if she isn't even in high school, yet. A facial piercing will severely limit the choices she can make in the future.

Love love love Gailski B! Dress for the role you want. If she wants to hang out on the corners for the rest of her life, let her go ahead with it. If you want her to become something better, lay down some rules and TELL HER NO. Of course, if you don't see a problem with it, there's a problem in itself.

I would not let her do it. She is 14, and like Jeanne pointed out, it's against school rules. Tape over a nose piercing looks terrible and your daughter will be mad that she has to wear it.
That being said, one posters comments here were totally uncalled for. I am 31 years old and have had a diamond stud in my left nostril for 10 years.
I am intelligent and a leader in my church and community. So Gailski can say EWWWWWWW all she wants. She is entitled to her opinion, even though the stereotype will keep her from meeting some truly wonderful people.

I would say no but reason is she is 14 and you are in charge G. W

Wow! This is a tough one. I don't think any thing is wrong with it either, however, if it's going to cause problems between you and her dad (assuming it's your husband) then it may not be a good idea otherwise, if you don't think she is going to rebel because of it, then I think it's okay.

My pastor spoke this weekend on - you will be known by the company you keep. If she puts herself out there to be a little wild, without much parental supervision (that's the assumption when you see a young girl with piercings) and hangs out with other kids that are a little wild witout much supervision - well that's how she will be categorized. By other kids, by teachers, and by herself. She may not be getting in trouble right now, but she's testing you right this very minute to see just how much rope you will give her. That's one good reason to say NO! establish yourself as a mom not a friend. The other reason you have--- is that her dad disagrees!!!! Even if you hate each other, you have to love her enough to respect each other and to provide a united front.

If you think she'll stay on top of after care (twice daily cleanings), then let her do it. I've had a nostril stud and currently have my septum pierced and didn't have any issues with either of them. If she decides she doesn't want it any more she'll be left with a barely noticeable mark (I can only show you where my nostril stud used to be because I got so used to looking at it). She sounds like a good kid. The band Mudhoney once said that every good boy deserves fudge, well in my opinion every good girl deserves a nose piercing.

I had my nose pierced several times in my youth (older though, 18-20's), once on the street in India which got really infected. They closed invisibly every time, and now you cant' tell I ever had it pierced. BUT. Wearing tape to school? I cant' believe your daughter wants to do that. Although I get it, she would still get "credit" form her friends for having a piercing. You should come to an agreement with dad and set an age, not just let her do it despite his feelings. It would be better if she didn't go to school with tape on her nose. The problem with bold fashion statements in kids that young is that they start to distract from the point of school: To learn. To us as adults it's nothing, but as you can see it's very important to her because kids obsess over image things to make themselves popular. Come to a compromise, make her earn it somehow. I think 16 would be reasonable. She may not even want it by then.

let her do it in the summer, so that when school starts, she can get a retainer, it's clear jewelry and they wont notice.

I don't think there's anything wrong with it. Like you said, if she starts changing her attitude, she'll have to immediately take it out. It's not like she's going to bars and having orgies. It's a piercing. It's so much less permanent than a tattoo.

if you are Christian then I would refer to 1 Corinthians 6:19

Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you whom you have received from God?

I got my nose pierced a day before my 33rd birthday. I also have both ears double pierced. First hole was at 9 and the second was 16. Just a few things from experience to use in making up your mind.
It hurts a lot more than ears and takes a lot more time to heal. It also is higher maintence. It needs to be cleaned more often and you have to turn the jewelry more often so the skin does not grow around and "hang on to" the stud. You can buy clear plastic studs that are hard to see when she's somewhere that would have issue with it. In the beginning you should never take the stud out, even to wash your face, as the hole can seal up extremely fast in the beginning. I had to make a special trip back to the piercer to have them put it back in when a washcloth snagged on the stud and pulled it out when I was in the shower. It would not go back in just from the time it was out while I finished showering.
Now, 7 years later it causes me no problems, I can take the stud out to shower, it never bothers me when I'm sick and it's never gotten infected a single time. But you do have to be diligent to get to that point and stay at that point.
If your 14 year old is responsible enough and can take care of it properly and you have no problems with it then go for it is my opinion. Just know that it's not as easy as ears to care for.

Just say no... she's only 14... We have told all our kids that as long as they live with us as minors and/or we are paying for their college... no tattoos or piercings (other than normal earrings for the girls.) There is just nothing good that can come out of that piercing at age 14 or even 18... When they graduate from college, if they still want to do it... then that will be their decision. Best wishes and God bless!

Listen to Della S. Suggest that she "march to the beat of her own drum" and not that of the crowd.

I am 32 years old and the night I graduated from high school i went to go get my eyebrow pierced. I took it out 6 months later. I still have a scar. Two little holes, one above my eyebrow and one below. Bad idea. I also got my nose pierced, had it for about a year and now I have a scar there too. I also have more than 10 tattoos and regret about half of them. All this to say at 14 there is no way to know what we really want and it does leave a scar when they are taken out and they are disgusting when you get sick. Boogers stuck to them and snot. Not that attractive.