25 answers

Almost 16 Yo Daughter Wants a Nose Piercing!!

I realize I will get a mixed review with this one. My beautiful soon-to-be 16 year old daughter is a decent student, goes to school, does her homework, is into the EMO scene (likes alternative music-some of which I like, wears sneakers and hoodies, has dyed her hair dark dark brown because I said no to black). Anyway, she is asking to get her nose pierced. My initial reaction was no...wait until you are 18. I was not into piercing (except my ears) but she is definitely not like I was at her age. I respect her as a person...she is very creative, takes art and fashion at school, plays electric guitar, writes song lyrics. A nose piercing seems to fit in with who she is and the style she gravitates toward. I am contemplating allowing a small stud (not a ring) when she turns 16 next month. If anyone has any pros or cons about this issue I would love to hear from you. Thank you in advance! JB

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It's a little late to tell you this now that my daughter is 17, but maybe this will help other mothers like me. My daughter got a dainty nose ring and it doesn't bother me a bit. I hardly notice it anymore. Her employer doesn't mind it either.

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The only thing i can say to this is. My little sister who will be 17 in 2 months has a nose ring. ( i am 30) and it is super cute on her.. she wears a tiny little stud that just sparcles and fits her personality. One thing my step mother and I both agree on ( we are the two raising them as my dad left a long time ago) There are many more important things to say no about holes in the body will close up. and i think that the nose ring is the least crazy of the piercings

B.

I say wait. My daughter is/was much like you describe. Good kid. Good student. She is my youngest and I had decided long ago to pick my battles, especially with teens. When she wanted to dye her hair blue, I let her. (But was made to undo it for formal/special events.) When she asked for permission for a piercing I said no because I thought it would leave a scar when she decided she no longer wanted it. I also had concerns about infections, etc. She is now 21 and has no piercings other than her ears. I believe I made the right decision.

My older son, who looked like he walked out of a Land's End catalog, got a (what I believe to be) girlfriend induced piercing when he was 18. The minute the relationship ended, the piercing went away.

I think, if she really wants it, she will still want it when she's 18.

I say yes. A lot of places I worked at required facial piercings to be covered w/ a band aid but I think a band aid on the face draws more attention then a small barely noticeable stud in the nose. I know several adults that have pierced noses and its suites them quite well. I can't imagine them without it. Besides there is a lot worse things she could be doing then wanting a piercing and better to have done at a nice clean place then to have her do it out of spite and it get infected.

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I have three girls of my own... and my take on things is that they can do whatever they want to their looks as long as it isn't permanent. A tattoo is a no but pierce away... dye away... dress the way you want... get it out of your system now b/c later in the "real" world you can't.

Hi J.,
I think it's great that you respect your daughter as an individual, her style, her creativity, her entire persona. I think you should follow your instincts and let her get the piercing at whatever age seems right to you. I'd encourage you to take the advice of people who have had nose piercings as to what type of place to go, etc.

Good luck!

So long as your daughter doesn't have a nickel sensitivity (or sensitivities to other metals), I agree that she can always take it out and the hole will close up...If she's ever had trouble with metals, though, I'd make her wait until she's 18 and then it's on her.

Otherwise, I think asking her to wait until 18 is, please forgive me, a bit too much. I think telling her you'd like her to wait six months, and if she still wants it, she can get it, is a much more reasonable idea.

In the meanwhile, you can just make sure she understands that having a nose ring will lower her (job) marketability, and that some people see them (rightly or wrongly) as unsanitary or disgusting. As long as she's informed and thought it through, I can't see why not.

J.,

My son dyed his hair every color you can think of and black was the least we even noticed. I would say go to a professional piercer. Do your homework on who you go to. The nose piercings are nice I think, its the lip and eyebrow ones I cannot stand to even look at. My son is a creative one also, now in College. His hair now is the color he was born with, just a funky cut...LOL

J., I'm inclined to say 'YES' to the nose piercing. Your dear daughter is very much her own person but also part of a "counter culture" that she not only observes, but takes part in via her music, clothes, and activities.
My daughter had the black clothes, the skulls, the Ruby Gloom, the alto head banging music, and all the rest of it. She's now 21 and still enjoys all of it, goes to music festivals with the Artic Monkeys, Green Day, etc., but she can "dress for success" and is making a nice transition to adulthood.
So...surprise the heck out of your daughter and bring her to the nose piercing shop...pick out a TINY stud for her and draw the line there...no tongue piercing, no eyebrow piercing...they leave SCARS!

kate

I'd let her do WHATEVER she wants with her hair. That's temporary and harmless. I would make her wait for a year to get her nose pierced. Not til she's 17, but til she has wanted it for a year. It is a semi permanent decision and I would teach her that you take time to consider that kind of a decision.
Then again, that's what I plan to do. My kids are little. I'm sure you know your daughter best.
Only thing I'd add is that my friends who got belly button piercings ended up with stretch marks emanating from that scar when they had kids even though the piercing had been out for a while. Same with tatoos on that part of the body. THey get quite distorted by pregnancy.
Good luck. YOu sound like a great and respectful Mom.

YES! It can always be taken out.

Hi J.,
I have 3 daughters ..they are a much younger, 8,6 &5. I can only imagine the day they are all teens and will have to face these kind of issues! (I've never even heard of the EMO scene!) You seem like such a wonderful, supportive mom.. accepting all your daughter's unique qualities, however different they may be of yours. I hope I can be the same when that day comes.. (it's just around the corner i'm sure!)

My personal (yet inexperienced) thoughts about the pressing issue is this: I think a nose stud (small) can be very beautiful.. As i'm sure you know, many women in the Indian culture have them. Now the nose rings... well that's a different story.. I personally don't care for them.. but maybe if she could wear a small stud to school, and various places, and the ring, when she's hanging with her friends?? Good luck.. hope you get some responses from other moms of teens.. all the best! L.

I'd let her get the piercing. It is more common than you realise, and allowing her to do so (after a discussion of course) will show her that you understand that she is an individual and you trust her judgement. As others have said make sure you take her to a reputable location. No piercing gun. They should use a needle. Have the piercer show you the equipment that will be used. Anyone with a good reputation will not hesitate to do this. Any reluctance on the piercers part to show you equipment or explain fully the procedure should be met with extreme caution. If you live in Southern NH, I would recommend Spider Bite in Manchester. And incedentally, I'd let her dye her hair black too.

My aunt did not let her daughter (my cousin) get her ears pierced until the age of 16. My cousin is now 21 and not only has her ears pierced, but she has many other places pierced (tongue, eyebrows, mouth....).

Not saying that my cousin got all the piercings because she had to wait to do her ears. However, it does seem possible that rebellion was part of it.

I like the idea of enouraging your daughter to research the risks, etc. Seems like if she researched and still wants to do it, might be the way to go. However, I am not speaking from experience.

Good luck!

There are worse ways for your daugher to express herself. My soon to be 16 year old daughter also wants her nose pierced. I do not have a problem with it. I will bring her myself to make sure it is done properly and to be sure I approve of the stud she chooses. I respect my daughter's individuality. Many professional woman have their nose pierced. I work with a therapist who is in her 50's and has her nose pierced. In the big picture, I feel it is a fairly tame request.

I think your instincts are right on--compromise and respect who she is without jeopardizing her "face professionalism" I would now discuss with her how she gets it done--in a sterile professional manner--not one of her friends doing it for her.

Good Luck, Nat

Hi J.,
OK, I've been through 5, yes five, daughters (two biological, two step, one foster). One was very into Emo, and that whole look is basically a statement. It shows her independence, non conformity. And she also finds others who feel as she does. (usually a defiance against the 'popular' sports kids) So I wouldn't worry too much about the Emo declaration. Piercing is another thing. I had a very bad piercing experience with one daughter, and she ended up in the emergency room with an infected tongue. ucky and painful. My issue with nose piercing is scaring. I would suggest your daughter do research. Have her find and talk to two emergency room nurses/doctors...have her find them on her own. Let her ask about piercing. Also, the piercing places can be very very unclean. Have her research the health dept. records in the town where the piercing place is. Good luck. All my girls are wonderful women..each so very individual. And none have piercings now.

I'm neither yes or no. I'm so for piercings, having had several, and still have a few, myself. I've had my tongue and my nose done, both came out though. My tongue was due to it being part of the accident that broke my front tooth. And the nose, an itsy bitzy little stud, got caught on a blanket and ripped my skin away from the tissue in my nose, very painful, and I could not get it back in. My tongue did not scar, actually tongues aren't supposed to scar. My nose however, did have a small bump for many years, I can't see it now but can still feel where it used to be.
The other thing to consider, is that if your daughter wants to get a job when she turns 16, she's going to find alot of people won't hire her with a facial piercing. Or they'll ask her to remove it, and that's just an annoying process. When I was working, I had a boss who hired me because we had a similar tattoo, but when she saw my tongue ring a few weeks later, stated she wouldn't have accepted me if she had seen it before.
On top of that, it wasn't until I was 18 before I got my first piercing, my navel, which that too had to come out when I was pregnant and had surgery. My last two piercings I won't mention, but they are living happily and causing me no problems, yet. lol
My point is, yes, piercing are cool, at a certain age, but then the novelty wears off for most people. I'm only 28, and realizing that what was considered cool only a short 10 years ago, doesn't really fit in my adult life.
Sorry I couldn't give you a more yes/no black/white answer, all I can offer is my experience living with piercings. Loved them at first, kinda wish I had the foresight I have now, still cool to live outside the norm though. Good luck, and happy birthday to your daughter.

Your daughter sounds alot like I was at that age - even down to the taste in clothes - the biggest difference is that I had put bright blue streaks in my hair instead of dying my whole head. I personally haven't lived through your exact experience, but I can see those times coming in the future - I'm 37, have a 3 yr old son, and I have 2 tattoos (mountain lion face on shoulderblade and pegasus on upper right arm), multiple ear piercings (not worn to fancy occasions) and a belly ring. I tried getting a nose stud in my early 20s, but HATED the way it looked, so I let it heal.

If there was anything I could recommend to your daughter, it would be that she wait on anything that is plainly visible until after she's married. I got my first tattoo at 27 yrs old (the mountain lion) and it was from a drawing I did myself. I waited 7 years to get it so I could make sure I REALLY wanted it. The only two occasions I have ever regretted my tattoos were my own and my sister's wedding, because they showed in both dresses I wore. As far as piercings go, the thicker the post or hoop, the longer it takes to close should you change your mind. My belly ring was fairly thick, and has shrunk significantly in the three years it's been out (since I was pregnant), but I'm either just going to have to wait, or get it re-pierced.

Hope this helps!

I say yes. A lot of places I worked at required facial piercings to be covered w/ a band aid but I think a band aid on the face draws more attention then a small barely noticeable stud in the nose. I know several adults that have pierced noses and its suites them quite well. I can't imagine them without it. Besides there is a lot worse things she could be doing then wanting a piercing and better to have done at a nice clean place then to have her do it out of spite and it get infected.

I say wait. My daughter is/was much like you describe. Good kid. Good student. She is my youngest and I had decided long ago to pick my battles, especially with teens. When she wanted to dye her hair blue, I let her. (But was made to undo it for formal/special events.) When she asked for permission for a piercing I said no because I thought it would leave a scar when she decided she no longer wanted it. I also had concerns about infections, etc. She is now 21 and has no piercings other than her ears. I believe I made the right decision.

My older son, who looked like he walked out of a Land's End catalog, got a (what I believe to be) girlfriend induced piercing when he was 18. The minute the relationship ended, the piercing went away.

I think, if she really wants it, she will still want it when she's 18.

Hi J.,
I had my nose pierced and had to take it out one time for a C-Scan due to a sinus infection and then it wouldn't go back in :( but it didn't leave a scar at all so truly there shouldn't be a worry about that so long as she is having it done by true professionals. I don't know that I would let my children at 16 get their noses or anything besides their ears pierced, however, I say that now and my girls are almost 7 and almost 3 so I have a ways to go (hopefully) before that is even thought of. :) I think that it's great that you are so open to listen to your daugther and get some feedback about the situation instead of just shutting her down and saying "no." It's true, there are must worse things she could be requesting, a nose piercing isn't a big deal in my opinion. :)
Good luck!

I am a young mom (27) with 2 little girls. I was an egdey teenager, piercing and colorful hair. So I remember what it is like to try and separate your self from your peers. I vote yes for your daughter. If she puts a tasteful small stud in. You will barely notice. Plus, if she hates it...it will close up with out leaving much of a mark. If it makes you feel better. This is all just a phase. I had 11 piercings and bright blue hair at my peak. Now I just have the piercings in my ears and normal hair. I work as a critical care RN and have been married for 8 years. Good luck!

hey listen in 2 years she will be 18 and she will do what she wants no matter what anyone says. i think your right about hte small stud i think it looks really cute anyway and that can be the middle for the both of you to get a small stud and she can get whatever she wants at 18

I can relate to your daughter's desire to get her nose pierced! As long as I could remember I had always wanted my nose pierced. Like your daughter I was a good student, responsible, etc...My parents took me when I was 16 to get my nose pierced and I still have it and I'm almost 30 with a child of my own!
The one thing I would recommend is ask around for reputable piercing salon's. They should NOT use a piercing gun, but rather a needle.
Good luck!

Stick to your guns (a stud is less noticeable than a ring)! If she is doing everything she should and is a great student, what's a small stud? If she doesn't like it down the road, I imagine it will close up similar to what your ears do.

A nose ring is a tiny piercig, that if she decides she does like, she can take out and it will heal, and no one will know she had. It is better in my opinion to meet her half way, allow a nose ring, but tell her that is it till she is 18 if u are that against piercings. the more you tell her no, the more she is going to rebel when she turns 18, and will pierce alot more then her nose, and tattoos will definatley become a topic of discussion at that point as well.. Nose rings are harmless.. Employeers are allowing of nose rings, I work in a very professional place, and i have my nose and my tongue pierced, I used to have a monroe, but took it out on my own. PIercings are harmless.. and chances are she may not like it after she gets it and then she just takes it out. My sister wanted her lip pierced for YEARS i finally talked my mother into letting her get it done when she was 16 going on 17. and she had it for probally... 2 weeks? decided she didnt like it and took it out.

Hi J.,
I myself have a daughter; although she is now only 11 months old I hope to be as open minded, and caring about her lifestyle when she is older as you are showing now with your daughter.
When I was 16 I wanted my nose pierced as well (not as common back in 1992)and I went to parents and asked that me bring me to have it done (doctors office back then); they said 'Absolutely not', 'We'll disown you'...yadda yadda; so being a bit rebellious while at a friends house I iced my nose and pierced it myself...ouch. Luckly for me it didn't get infected, and it was actually pretty cute because I kept the stud small. My parents did love it but they learned to get use to it. After I graduated highschool in 1994 I took it out and it healed fine.
You are already one step ahead or my parents by at least listening to your daughter. In my opion since she was open with you, maybe you could research a reputable place in your area and take her yourself to make sure everything is done safe. Not saying she'll be like me at 16, but you dont' want her to take matters into her own hands and risk infection. Good Luck

The only thing i can say to this is. My little sister who will be 17 in 2 months has a nose ring. ( i am 30) and it is super cute on her.. she wears a tiny little stud that just sparcles and fits her personality. One thing my step mother and I both agree on ( we are the two raising them as my dad left a long time ago) There are many more important things to say no about holes in the body will close up. and i think that the nose ring is the least crazy of the piercings

B.

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