25 answers

Almost 16 Yo Daughter Wants a Nose Piercing!!

I realize I will get a mixed review with this one. My beautiful soon-to-be 16 year old daughter is a decent student, goes to school, does her homework, is into the EMO scene (likes alternative music-some of which I like, wears sneakers and hoodies, has dyed her hair dark dark brown because I said no to black). Anyway, she is asking to get her nose pierced. My initial reaction was no...wait until you are 18. I was not into piercing (except my ears) but she is definitely not like I was at her age. I respect her as a person...she is very creative, takes art and fashion at school, plays electric guitar, writes song lyrics. A nose piercing seems to fit in with who she is and the style she gravitates toward. I am contemplating allowing a small stud (not a ring) when she turns 16 next month. If anyone has any pros or cons about this issue I would love to hear from you. Thank you in advance! JB

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So What Happened?™

It's a little late to tell you this now that my daughter is 17, but maybe this will help other mothers like me. My daughter got a dainty nose ring and it doesn't bother me a bit. I hardly notice it anymore. Her employer doesn't mind it either.

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The only thing i can say to this is. My little sister who will be 17 in 2 months has a nose ring. ( i am 30) and it is super cute on her.. she wears a tiny little stud that just sparcles and fits her personality. One thing my step mother and I both agree on ( we are the two raising them as my dad left a long time ago) There are many more important things to say no about holes in the body will close up. and i think that the nose ring is the least crazy of the piercings

B.

I say wait. My daughter is/was much like you describe. Good kid. Good student. She is my youngest and I had decided long ago to pick my battles, especially with teens. When she wanted to dye her hair blue, I let her. (But was made to undo it for formal/special events.) When she asked for permission for a piercing I said no because I thought it would leave a scar when she decided she no longer wanted it. I also had concerns about infections, etc. She is now 21 and has no piercings other than her ears. I believe I made the right decision.

My older son, who looked like he walked out of a Land's End catalog, got a (what I believe to be) girlfriend induced piercing when he was 18. The minute the relationship ended, the piercing went away.

I think, if she really wants it, she will still want it when she's 18.

I say yes. A lot of places I worked at required facial piercings to be covered w/ a band aid but I think a band aid on the face draws more attention then a small barely noticeable stud in the nose. I know several adults that have pierced noses and its suites them quite well. I can't imagine them without it. Besides there is a lot worse things she could be doing then wanting a piercing and better to have done at a nice clean place then to have her do it out of spite and it get infected.

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I have three girls of my own... and my take on things is that they can do whatever they want to their looks as long as it isn't permanent. A tattoo is a no but pierce away... dye away... dress the way you want... get it out of your system now b/c later in the "real" world you can't.

Hi J.,
I think it's great that you respect your daughter as an individual, her style, her creativity, her entire persona. I think you should follow your instincts and let her get the piercing at whatever age seems right to you. I'd encourage you to take the advice of people who have had nose piercings as to what type of place to go, etc.

Good luck!

So long as your daughter doesn't have a nickel sensitivity (or sensitivities to other metals), I agree that she can always take it out and the hole will close up...If she's ever had trouble with metals, though, I'd make her wait until she's 18 and then it's on her.

Otherwise, I think asking her to wait until 18 is, please forgive me, a bit too much. I think telling her you'd like her to wait six months, and if she still wants it, she can get it, is a much more reasonable idea.

In the meanwhile, you can just make sure she understands that having a nose ring will lower her (job) marketability, and that some people see them (rightly or wrongly) as unsanitary or disgusting. As long as she's informed and thought it through, I can't see why not.

J.,

My son dyed his hair every color you can think of and black was the least we even noticed. I would say go to a professional piercer. Do your homework on who you go to. The nose piercings are nice I think, its the lip and eyebrow ones I cannot stand to even look at. My son is a creative one also, now in College. His hair now is the color he was born with, just a funky cut...LOL

J., I'm inclined to say 'YES' to the nose piercing. Your dear daughter is very much her own person but also part of a "counter culture" that she not only observes, but takes part in via her music, clothes, and activities.
My daughter had the black clothes, the skulls, the Ruby Gloom, the alto head banging music, and all the rest of it. She's now 21 and still enjoys all of it, goes to music festivals with the Artic Monkeys, Green Day, etc., but she can "dress for success" and is making a nice transition to adulthood.
So...surprise the heck out of your daughter and bring her to the nose piercing shop...pick out a TINY stud for her and draw the line there...no tongue piercing, no eyebrow piercing...they leave SCARS!

kate

I'd let her do WHATEVER she wants with her hair. That's temporary and harmless. I would make her wait for a year to get her nose pierced. Not til she's 17, but til she has wanted it for a year. It is a semi permanent decision and I would teach her that you take time to consider that kind of a decision.
Then again, that's what I plan to do. My kids are little. I'm sure you know your daughter best.
Only thing I'd add is that my friends who got belly button piercings ended up with stretch marks emanating from that scar when they had kids even though the piercing had been out for a while. Same with tatoos on that part of the body. THey get quite distorted by pregnancy.
Good luck. YOu sound like a great and respectful Mom.

YES! It can always be taken out.

Hi J.,
I have 3 daughters ..they are a much younger, 8,6 &5. I can only imagine the day they are all teens and will have to face these kind of issues! (I've never even heard of the EMO scene!) You seem like such a wonderful, supportive mom.. accepting all your daughter's unique qualities, however different they may be of yours. I hope I can be the same when that day comes.. (it's just around the corner i'm sure!)

My personal (yet inexperienced) thoughts about the pressing issue is this: I think a nose stud (small) can be very beautiful.. As i'm sure you know, many women in the Indian culture have them. Now the nose rings... well that's a different story.. I personally don't care for them.. but maybe if she could wear a small stud to school, and various places, and the ring, when she's hanging with her friends?? Good luck.. hope you get some responses from other moms of teens.. all the best! L.

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