Night Wakings

Until a few weeks ago, my 9 1/2 month old son was also not sleeping through the night, but was only waking 1-2 times. He would drink a bottle, but I knew he wasn't waking due to hunger, but just out of habit. I couldn't take it anymore (pregnant in first trimester with 2nd child and absolutely exhausted!) and decided to read the Baby Whisperer books (recommended on this website for a similar problem.) Her advice is wonderful, and I have to say, her technique really works. Similar to Dr. Sears, who I am a big fan of, she does not advocate CIO - it undermines trust, however she also realizes that there needs to be a balance- letting baby run the show may be great for baby, but the baby needs a well functioning parent to take care of it. I guess that was what I needed to hear to make me determined to help my son to sleep better, because I felt bad for not wanting to get up for him in the night.
You really do need to read the books to learn the technique, but briefly when he cries for you in the night, you go to him, comfort/soothe, (at our sons age you don't pick them up) and if he stands up, just lay him back down. He will seriously resist, but you stay with him, repeatedly laying him back down. The first night was really tough, over an hour, but the second was only 30 min and the 3rd night he slept from 7pm-7am, The 4th night he fussed for 10 min and for the last few weeks he has slept through every night 7-7. It is really tough because he will be crying from frustration at not knowing how to put himself to sleep, but you are right there with him, reassuring, so it doesn't feel as awful as letting him scream while you cry in another room.
Go get the books - secrets of the baby whisperer and the baby whisperer solves all your problems, read them as quick as you can, make a plan and pick a start date. I bet you will be sleeping through the night in no time. It worked for us and I thought it never would!

This can be normal for some breastfed babies. It is just how they eat and can be a little like a habit. Mine did this until he was 10 and half months old when I stopped breastfeeding. so there is a light at the end of the tunnel. One week when he was teething at about 9 months of age he was up every two hours. It was horrible. My sister's baby did this too until he went to formula. Some babies like to eat every 4 hours. Some do it out of habit. I stopped the night feedings and fed him at 11 oclock and then I said I wouldn't feed him until after 5 am. I think I did this at 8 or 9 months. I even co-slept until he was 10 and half months and then we switched to a crib and it took about a week for him to get used to it and then at 11 months he was sleeping 12 hours straight. It was like a miracle. I couldn't believe it. so if you have any questions, let me know. I've been in your shoes. :) If he is teething, you may want to try baby tylenol or baby motrin. Some nights I was giving him baby gas-x and baby tylenol. It was a nightmare at times. But now he is the perfect sleeper.

Hi J.
Sorry, I don't really have any advice but I just wanted to sympathize with you. My first baby (who is now 8) was not a good sleeper at all (and I was a single mom). It was tough...but thank god it doesn't last forever:) Maybe you should try giving him a bit of formula in the evening.
Hang in there! I know...sleep deprivation is a killer!
Good luck and Merry Christmas!

this is very common! try wearing him in a sling during the day while you do your activites, this will help him sleep better at night (not to mention it is best for his development). I would also invest in the nighttime parenting book by dr. sears, or the baby book by dr sears. it is completely normal for him to wake like this during the night to nurse. have him sleep right next to you so when he "roots" to nurse during the night he's right next to the breast, that way he does not completely wake up (and niether will you!)when he needs to nurse. wearing him during the day and having him sleep next to you will take some adjusting, have patience and it will pay off with more sleep for both of you and an emotionally healthy baby! good luck and in
invest in the dr. sears books!

It's ok mama,

All babies are different and have different needs. I doesn't actually sound like your baby has a sleep issue. I think he just waking up alone and wants his mommy. A very natural response for any baby. Not many babies sleep thought the night at that young and age. In fact my 3 year old still wakes up once during the night to nurse. Ok she can just climb into bed with me so it's a little easier and there you go it does get easier:)

Can you move the 9 month old into your room so he is closer to you and let the 2 yr old use his own room? Perhaps being able to hear and possibly see mommy he will be able to go back to sleep on his own. If not, can you bring the baby to your bed so you can get back to sleep while the baby gets his much needed closeness time with you?

Dr. Sears has a book called
Nighttime Parenting: How to Get Your Baby and Child to Sleep. This has some great tips on how to help your baby get to sleep.

I don't advocate CIO as I feel it undermines the trust your baby has in you. Babies cry for many reasons but the real reason is to say hey mommy I need you, please come help me. It may seem like your baby will never sleep through the night but he will and you will be saying how quickly the time past by.

I hope some of my tips help you and if not that you find some tips that do help. Best wishes for you and your family

C.
Fitchburg, Ma

Oh, I am so sorry J.. That is rough.

My son didn't sleep through the night until he was 1 1/2 years old. He still often gets up once a night, though now it is easier to put him back to bed (he's almost two now). I'm not saying this to scare you, but just to let you know it does happen... and will end.

In retrospect I think I should have reduced how much he nursed after a while. Like your son, he was soley breast fed and never took a bottle once. It wasn't until I took three days off from work (so I could sleep) that i just toughed it out with him. I announced he couldn't nurse at night anymore (just before bed). I stopped nursing him to sleep (put him in bed still awake- this helped A LOT, though i never thought it would work), and took three nights to just sit with him (in his crib, me in the rocker) and say "no, no mama milk, sweetie." He was up screaming for hours, but on the forth night, magically, it went so much better. Within a week, he was sleeping through the night. I never thought it could happen.

We still have relapses (a cold, a late night out, a missed nap... it all causes something to change just when you think its going good) but compared to a year ago, i never thought we would be here.

good luck!

I am a mother of a 1 yr old girl... and she slept with us from the very beginning. Everything was going really well until about 8 months when she would be up every hour, tossing and turning and I would desparately try to nurse her back to sleep, only resulting in her waking up again and again each hour. At her 9 month appt her ped told us we had to let her figure out how to sleep on her own and told us to try to let her fuss it out. It went against EVERYTHING I have ever beleived in, but I was desparate for sleep and so we tried it. It was awful, and it didn't work, but once we got her to sleep initially, she slept thru the night... so for the last 3 months, she's slept through the night, give or take a night or 2. Maybe he needs to figure out how to fall asleep on his own so he can get himself back to sleep? I can't imagine it with another child in the house, but that's my only suggestion! Good luck!

Hi J.. This is tough. How long has your 9 mos old been doing this? Is he hungry? Teething? Separation Anxiety?
Have you checked with your pediatrician to rule anything out like reflux or an ear infection? Or has this been going on for 9 mos?

I too have had my share of sleep problems with my daughter. It was never a sleep training issue, but rather she just did not seem to want to EVER sleep past 4:30am no matter what I did, and often hated to nap more than once a day - even when she was younger and needed it. We had many early wakings and then cranky days of no napping.

After 11 months of it I could NOT take it anymore and brought her to Children's Hospital in Boston - as they have a sleep clinic there. They helped me come up with a plan - and we still have bad days, but much more good ones now. I even had to wake DD today!

They have a sleep lab there too if your son needs it to figure out why he is waking every 2-3 hours.

They help you with 'simple' problems like mine where a baby simply does not want to sleep, up to complex problems like narcelpsy and sleep apnea. They deal with infants through children of 17 yrs of age. I am sure they can help you too.

If CIO is not working, don't bother with it - it will only upset you and your baby. Does it help if he sleeps in your room instead of your 2 yr old? You may want to try it until you get to the bottom of it and you may all get some sleep in the meantime.

Good luck. Sleep is such an issue. I know I'm stopping with one baby. God knows I love her to pieces, but I cannot go through all of this again! I think I have permanent insomnia!

http://www.childrenshospital.org/clinicalservices/Site154...

They also accept a wide variety of health insurance!

Most likely he is either teething or having separation anxiety from you. My now 24 month old did the same thing several different times in his life. Once we figured out after an endless battle it was indeed teething.
Buy Hyland's teething tablets and follow the directions. They are homeopath and very safe better than giving tylenol and they work wonders. You can find them anywhere i.e. CVS, Stop & Shop etc.
As far as separation anxiety if you find the teething tablets do not work then you need to let him CIO BUT you need to go into him several times to show your face to let him know you are still there! But usually CIO is the only way to go. I used the Ferber Method along with what the book Happy Sleep Habits, Happy Child and it worked for my guy. Good luck!!!!

I don't hve much in the way of advice. But both of my children woke at night until the age of 2. They were both breastfed & did seem to wake up less once they were weaned, but they still woke up. I will also say that at the age of 2 they stopped napping as well. They simply don't require a lot of sleep & the crying it out always made it worse. If my 2 1/2yo naps, she won't go to sleep until after 11pm & wakes up at her usual 8-8:30. She still goes through phases of waking once or twice a night for a few weeks then goes back to sleeping all night. There are a lot of us who understand where you are, I remember waking up crying & dreading going to bed just to be woken up. It does get better as they get older. Do you have anyone who could take him overnight so you could get a good night's sleep?

Do you have white noise playing in his room? I found my daughter sleeps better with rain noise. What about something to occupy his time when he wakes while you try to CIO? We bought a Fisher Price fish tank that attaches to the crib, plays music and has a soothing water/fish scene at the touch of a button. Possibly, he is bored and that is why he is waking up and now it has become a routine. So when you try the CIO method, he never cried himself to sleep? Is he over rested (napping too much during the day) or is this him being overly tired? We went through a period recently when my daughter began waking in the wee morning due to the heater coming on and she was sensitive to getting too warm. Once we closed her vent and just dressed her warmly, she slept through the morning. It took me awhile to figure out the trigger. Could there be one in his room/house? I wish I had more suggestions. Hang in there, Daan

I wonder if he is teething. I might try giving him a little infant tylenol before bed.
The other thing you could try is to wake him right before you turn in for the night, nurse him then, give him the medicine then and see whether that buys you a little more sleep. This sounds SO hard. Good luck.