Older Baby Still Not Sleeping

I am going thru tough sleep issues with my 14 month old. She had a series of reasons why we would rock/ feed/comfort in the night for awhile due to colds and teething then it just became habit for her. She couldn't self sooth at night. A friend recommended a sleep sound machine. We have been using it for nearly two weeks and I've seen a steady improvement. Last two nights she slept thru the nite ( probably just jinxed myself for tonight). We start with the music setting when giving her night time bottle, I don't rock her for more than a min after she is done, put her in the crib and she settles down. About 45 min later I sneek back in and switch to the white noise setting and leave it on all night at a pretty high volume so it sounds kind of womb like for her. Hopefuly this method will work for you like it has for my family.

If he's teething and has a cold, you can pretty much expect he's just not going to sleep well. There are a lot of things in the 6-12 month range that disrupt sleep. If he's working on standing up or walking that will mess up his sleep too.

I personally hate CIO but at least he's a little older. But the problem is if there's something actually wrong (like teething pain, or congestion, or separation anxiety), CIO won't do anything except make your baby feel unloved. Unfortunately you may just have to tough it out and take care of him during the night for a few months until this all passes.

My daughter is 9 months old and wakes up twice at night and is awake somewhere between 5 and 6.....according to Dr. Sears it is not normal for babies to sleep through the night...check out www.askdrsears.com.... my daughter also is not a great napper either and taking 30-40 minutes is normal for her, as well. I think sometimes we had unrealistic expectations on what our little one should be doing....at times she ends up in bed with me and once asleep I move her to her bed..other times she stays in bed with me...for me it's whatever works! I have learned that I will make it through the day and eventually she will sleep through the night. I wish you luck and just thought I would share that you are not alone...looks like our babies are on a similar schedule.

I don't believe in CIO and especially in your case it appears that it is NOT going to work with your child. I think you are putting yourself and your child through unnecessary heart ache. For daytime I would suggest getting a carrier like a woven wrap or an Ergo and putting him in that for naps. He needs to relearn that you are there for him even when sleeping and that you aren't just going to leave him there screaming and crying. He needs to learn to trust you again. I think you'll find that he will nap so much better while being worn and being allowed to nurse himself back to sleep if he rouses in the middle of the nap. Sleep begets sleep so if he starts napping better during the day he should start sleeping better at night but once again he sounds like the kind of child that needs the extra reassurance and closeness while sleeping. Would you consider co-sleeping with him? You can sidecar your crib onto your bed so that he still has his own space but will also have the closeness of mom that he is craving. You'll still be able to put him down in the evening like you usually do but you'll be there next to him when he wakes in the middle of the night. Or at the very least move his crib into your room so that he knows you are right there. Not every child responds well to being left in their crib away from their parents just as not every child responds well to co-sleeping and prefer their own space. Please stop letting your baby cry, in this case, I honestly think it is doing WAY more harm than good. I have a child that sleeps and a child that has always struggled and I promise you that it will get better but you need to give him the tools to help him sleep better and just being left in distress to cry and cry will not work and will only lead to future sleep (and probably behavioral) issues.

Leaving him to cry when he is over-tired and doesn't know how to sleep does absolutely nothing to teach him how to sleep as you are seeing. CIO doesn't teach a baby to sleep but teaches them you won't come when they need you, it will flood their little system with stress hormones and raise their blood pressure. Not exactly ideal conditions to promote sleep.

Infant sleep is never static. even if you get himon track he will have bumps in the road.

But you can teach him how to sleep and that's the biggest thing I think most parents don't understand. Babies don't automatically know how to be good sleepers. Most babies have to be taught. I highly recommend 3 books for you. They will teach you about infant sleep so that once you understand how infant sleep works you can begin to teach your little one how to sleep.

Dr. Sears Baby Sleep Book, The Baby Whisperer and The No-Cry Sleep Solution. These were life-savers for me. Life-savers. They each offer invaluable info, tips and tricks to help teach baby to sleep. I didn't use one method exclusively but combined the good info in each to develop a sleep plan for my oldest.

if hes sick and teething he needs to nurse in the middle of the night! the nursing relieves the teething pain and will knock out the illness fast ( also helps to clear the nose and if his throat is dry....) its kids like this that cause people to cosleep. no need to get out of bed, just give him some milk and both of you go back to bed

crying it out is miserable for baby and parent. Probably worse for the parent, its really hard to hear someone so little get so worked up. 10 months, thats my DD's age, and she has slept pretty good- for the last 3 days... lol. she is active, trying to walk and do many things, so she has a hard time settling down, she'd like to stand in her crib or clap her hands, practising all her new tricks is apparently better than sleeping. I find she gets onto a pattern of either lots of sleep, or fitful sleeps. 1 bad night can leave us sleepless for days and days. But also, 1 good night will start a pattern of good sleeping. The difference is crazy sometimes.. Often its teething that disrupts it all. We still occasionally swaddle on the tough nights, or bring her to bed for cuddles and move her when she's out. For naps, I have a pretty noisy bathroom fan, which is close to the bedroom, I use it as white noise, along with a regular fan in the bedroom. She also has a v tech projector/ lullaby thing with ocean sounds etc, and it starts on its own every time she makes noise, and it calms her. Dad and I take turns even tho IIm a sahm, to rocking and swaying her into dreamland, because we know once we get her on the right path, we get our sleep. But its a process we have to restart over and over and gets frusterating. I`d take all the little ones to bed with me, and sleep in as much as you can. I also have my window darkened in the bedroom with a blind and a couple dark pieces of fabric over. She is still up by 8 or 9 am, but its better than up with the birds! Overtired babies have a much harder time getting to and staying asleep. Try to be patient and get him on track. It can happen!

Bed-sharing sounds like a good plan for your family about now. Your first 2 children may have somehow coped with being alone in their own rooms... waking up dark, cold, lonely, scared, hungry/thirsty, wet, etc - but seems your 3rd isn't going to work that way.

Nursing him to sleep for bedtime and nap times - while getting sleep yourself - will revitalize everyone. Babies and young children will always prefer and sleep better with Mommy - it's how they were made, some more so than others.

Poor little guy! He has alot going on, teething, probably on a grow, probably on the verge of walking, AND he has been sick. Maybe he just wants YOU! I am with you...not a fan of cry it out. Works for some babies, never worked for mine. Sometimes little ones get overtired and don't sleep long or soundly. You might try a very calm bedtime routine. WARM bath, jammies, snugging in with a short book (with all 3) really give him time to unwind so he CAN fall asleep. Some babies unwind by crying. You also might try a white noise machine in his room. My daughter has used one for her 3 little ones and it has worked great. I wish they had invented them 30 years ago! When my girls got up that early, I brought them in bed with me, "plugged them in" and they would go back to sleep. Contrary to some opinions....nothing wrong with your baby in bed with you. We did it for years and we all got alot more sleep because of it. Keep in mind...he has no clue what time it is. Hang in there.

After reading some of the other responses, I am so happy to see so many saying to put him in a front carrier for naps and close to you or in bed with you at night. Typically, adults don't sleep alone and away from everyone...why should a baby?

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Are you comfortable giving him some baby Tylenol for the pain from teething? That should help him sleep better too.

My daughter slept through the night until she started getting her second tooth. Then it was awful. We started co-sleeping, but that stopped working in less than a month. She slept in between my husband and I, which was fine until she started to roll around and kick us in her sleep. She's a bit of a wild sleeper, constantly tossing and turning. I understand it, I do the same thing (which I was unable to do when she was sleeping with us). It got to be too much. We'd had enough of missing any sleep in our own bed.

Here's what worked for me: I laid her down in her crib when it was bed time, and stayed in the room with her until she was sleeping. I'd put her down with her lovey (for her, a small blanket) and tuck her other blanket around her, telling her that I love her and it's bed time. She didn't care for it at first, but I was persistent. She would stand up and cry, I would give her a kiss, give her her lovey, and lay her back down.

It took me two hours the first night, and 30 minutes the second night. By the third night, she knew that I was right there, reading my book by her night light, and each time she would start to stand up I would make soothing sounds and tell her how much I love her, only to watch her gather her lovey and lie back down by herself. Sometimes, all she wanted was the reassurance that I was there for her. By the end of that first week, I was able to lay her down and leave the room with her fast asleep within 5 minutes.

I hope this helps, it really worked out well for me!

You're not going to be happy with this, but my many years of experience with children has taught me what instinctively I knew already - no baby should ever be left to cry it out. There's a reason why babies cry. This baby is still an infant and needs your comfort and touch. Also, I'd never put a baby down that early at night and expect them to sleep through. None of mine would have done that. I realize he's falling asleep but after a few days, he'd change his routine, if you can call it a routine. I always brought my babies into my bed when they awoke early so we both could sleep a bit longer. No wonder you're tired.

Wow, you have gotten some good answers here. You are doing a good job wanting to meet your baby's needs, but also trying to get some sleep too. Sleep deprivation is no fun. I had three kids in five years and didn't "sleep through the night" for 7 years! I have found that once you become a parent, sleeping all night is no longer a realistic expectation - though it DOES improve so that you are not up 3-4-5 times a night. But what I found is that once a baby FINALLY started sleeping through the night (at a way older age), then a toddler or pre-schooler would start waking from bad dreams; it was always someone or something! We did the "family bed" now known as co-sleeping simply out of desperation. They did not have the fancy co-sleeper units back in the "olden days" so we stuck a crib mattress on some crates jammed between the bed and the wall which worked for us.

One thing I do know is, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. There are plenty of mama's out there whose babies do not sleep through the night. I really believe it is a rarity when a baby does sleep through the night.

I encourage you to keep tending to your baby's needs as you explore alternative ways to get some sleep. This too shall pass.

Ahh...the never-ending woes of a sleep deprived Mama. I was up 3 times for 2 different kiddos last night, and am feeling your exhaustion! And we have more of this to look forward to, as I'm due with #4 in March!

Anyway.....what I would do in your situation is give him motrin before bed and run a humidifier in his room to help ease his cold symptoms. You could also do saline drops. Put white noise machines (we use large air purifiers from Holmes) in your older childrens room(s) to drown out some of the noise of the baby, and when he is well, start to sleep train. There are a number of different methods to this, and I believe we used a combination of CIO and Ferber method. Whatever works for your family!

Also, it sounds crazy, but I would put him to bed even earlier (like between 6 and 7 PM? possibly earlier for a few nights) just to catch him up on some sleep. I have found that my boys at that age needed 12-14 hours of sleep a night, and would sleep in later if they went to bed earlier.

Yes, I agree on a babycarrier for you both -- for soothing purposes for him, and freeing your hands when you've got other small children. Check out www.heavenlyhold.com or www.frogmama.com

I hope you find something that works for you all and you finally get some ZZZzzs, Mama!