Need Some Major Advice for an Unorganized Teen

I've recommended an accordian file for several of my students. That way they can organize things but only have to carry one thing from class to class. You could help her load it the night before with her completed homework. I definitely agree with Momof2girls - what works for one person might not work for another and you might have to try several things with her.

I am having similar problems with my 11 year old son, he is also in middle school. He has been diagnosed with adhd. He is very bright,but has a hard time with turning in his homework. I have to check his backpack everyday and check in with his teachers on a regular basis. We have 1 binder that we put dividers in for each subject and we made a beginning of class checklist(TURN IN HOMEWORK) /end of class checklist (WRITE HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENTS DOWN) and placed it on the front of his binder so this is the first thing he sees at the beginning and end of each class.Although it gets frustrating at times I have 2 remind myself that it is just as frustrating for him.

Your daughter sounds a lot like how my daughter will be when she gets into middle school! I personally think a tour through a kid's back pack or room is like a tour through their mind. I've noticed that my daughter takes after me in that she is a 'visual' person. That being said,

Have you tried color coding the folders? You may want to take it a step further and buy some color coded sticky tabs (that you can remove and replace). When she gets a worksheet or h/w paper, she can take a color tab and affix it to the paper.
For projects and written h/w, I used a color pen and small organizer/ calendar. Science = red, English= green, History = black (you get the picture) so I would write in the corresponding ink color what projects or assignments were due. This helped me A LOT in college!
Maybe you can also invest in a white board at home to place in her room. Use the same color codes to remind her of things she has due. You can also use different colors for her hobbies (like soccer practice, piano lessons, etc.)
I've made it a point to go through my child's backpack on a daily basis after school. It takes some time, but it has helped 'jog' her memory of things. It also gives me an excuse to see what she has been up to (found a few notes from her friends).
I would also use physical reminders and designate spots for things. For example, have her leave her backpack in a certain spot if she has not gone through it. Once she has gone through and organized/completed her work, have her place her backpack in a different location so that it is another signal to her that she has/has not done something.
Good luck!

You are on the right track, mom! your daughter needs help with organization and staying focused...she may be overwhelmed which leads to the disorganization and poor followup with turning homework in, etc. Her backpack may be a big clue to how she is feeling...overwhelmed, out of control. Middle school can be an overwhelming change from elementary school where life was simpler...one teacher, more reminders for assignments, etc. You might consider ruling out Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) with a professional psychologist. This affects more girls than boys (who are more often ADHD if affected with an attentional disorder) and often goes undiagnosed and untreated because girls tend to be more compliant that boys.
Your daughter may also just need to work with a study skills coach who can help her stay on track with assignments and plan her week...it is not uncommon for middle schoolers to feel overwhelmed with all the changes and the social pressures of middle school.
Your daughter sounds like a wonderful kid who just needs some continued support to help her make this big transition. You are right to want to help her now before she jumps into high school and all those pressures.
Talk to your daughter about stressors...she may have many that are impacting her ability to be more focused. She is bright so she does well on tests, quizzes, etc but may need support in anticipating, planning, working in advance on papers and projects, turning things in, etc.

A good start is to go through her backpack every night and help her get organized....the colored folder plan is a good one. Marking each folder in a colorful and clear way will help her discern which is which...this summer you might also have her work with a tutor on organization and getting ready for next years classes....
You might go online to John Taylor's website, ADD Plus for some other good tips.

Good luck and keep listening to her needs...she sounds like a terrific kid and you a caring mom!

Bev A., Visalia, Ca.

Has she been tested for GATE? Sounds like a GATE kid if I ever heard one! (Gifted and Talented Education) Anyway - this is perfectly normal... She will probably have to find out what works for her on her own. Your structure are setting great examples for her but what ends up working will be something she comes up with or tries on her own.

Maybe separate notebooks or small folders for each class so the binder isn't so overwhelming to organize? Or 3 subject notebooks that come with paper and little pockets - then she will only need two - one for classes before lunch, one for after... there are all sorts of ideas - it should be hers.

If she is GATE, there are conventions and tons of books on how parents can make the most of the GATE type of brain! "Raisin' Brains" made me laugh because it was just so true! Good luck and have patience!

Memories.. I went through this with my son starting in the first grade and still to this day and his is entering ninth grade though its not as bad as it was. He is very smart and spent a lot of time compelting the work but like your daughter would forget to turn it in. At one point he was in danger of failing the grade because of the missing work. I did the colored folders, seperate binders, acordian files and a binder that the teacher signed every day to no real avail. I even went to school and turned things in myself though that was in elementary. My son was diagnosed ADD Inattentive and with meds the unorganized/ distraction side is slowing. I have a chart on his wall with detailed step by step chores and daily things to do. As each part is done we check it off. We have lists everywhere which are a pain in the rear to me but it seems to help him stay focused and to be able to check things off. If you can get her organized in daily life, the school will follow. With his work, I sign or initial each one and he puts them in their folder and the folder is clipped to each book so its the first thing he sees when he goes in his bag. We also have a clear front binder that we write down each assignment to be turned in so he does nt have to look around its right there on the front of the folder. I also have a good relationship with his teachers and they know his history so they too keep on top of him. That along with motivation like a new game or extra time on the computer or an outing of his choice that he only gets after so many consecutive days of on time turn-in's works pretty well for us.

;

Hi P.!
I just have to say, from experience, that there's nothing to be worried about! She will find her way!
My best friend growing up was exactly the same...the only difference is that she didn't beat herself up so much when things didn't go as she wanted them to!
When we were in middle shool, I remember getting a terrible mark in a Geography exam and she got the best mark! (She got the best marks in all subjects!) Then, one day, the teacher spontaneously checked our notes! Hers were so disorganized and terrible that she got a failing mark whereas I got 100%
Trust me though, I would've preferred getting a better mark on the exam! But that's how she was...and she did get better! In high school she was put into the gifted program and I realised, when I studied with her, that eventhough her notes were everywhere, there was a method to her madness! She helped me so much when we studied together! And I think it's because she had a way of making something boring turn into something interesting!
But sometimes she forgot things because of finishing an assignment early! I noticed this happened to me too when I started excelling in University!
I would do something in advance and because I'd be relaxed about it, it kind of slips your mind! Good teachers know, however, that a student who does this is not dumb, just bored!
I can tell you that my friend went to University to be a doctor...it wasn't for her! Not because of disorganization but because she needed to find what interested her! She traveled and worked at a gas station for about a year or two and finally she went back and she's now a lawyer! You can't be a lawyer without being organized!
Normally, those that are gifted or genius are really just bored and that's why some things slip their minds! Organization may not be a priority but they still excel in academics! When it comes to higher learning, this is something I've found they finally learn on their own!
I think she will be great when she hits high school and even better in college!
I don't wan't to say that it's ADD because, in retrospect, we both (my best friend and I) could've had it and I think it's sometimes overdiagnosed! I say we both because I didn't pay attention when I was bored! My best friend didn't pay attention to details and organization! If we both had eachother's academic qualities, we would've been dream students! Haha
I was an A student in University because I was paying attention and I was interested in the subjects and in her case, she did well in becoming a lawyer and I'm sure organization was a part of it!
Your daughter's still young and sounds like a replica of my best friend growing up! All I can say is please tell her not to beat herself up for the things that happened...she has genius qualities...and Einstein didn't start talking untill he was three! We all have flaws!
Just guide her and let her grow up a little...if this persists in high school to the point that it's detrimental...then, maybe look into some help but for now, see if she has anything else on her mind! If there isn't, she WILL find her way!
I've seen it!
I really hope this helps!
Much love!
xx

could be either just a disorganized kid or maybe a sign of executive function disorder? i wouldn't think the latter but thought that i would throw it out there.

i think that your ideas for organizing her folders is great. i think that the next step would be to get the school involved and get some support for your daughter's teachers. they also might have some good suggestions for your daughter.

goood luck!

Hi P.,

You've gotten some great advice here. The nightly review of backpack/binder is spot on, as is color coding. I would also encourage you and your daughter to think of organization in 15 minute blocks. We can do anything for 15 minutes. Perhaps a checklist to follow when she sits down to do homework and to review before going to school to make sure all is in order?

For my son, president of the disorganized club in my house, we had to get him one set of folders for graded work and another for work to turn in. That worked so well, he raised his grades 15%! Sadly, that was from a 40% to a 55%...but it was improvement! <g>

As a teacher, the one thing I can say is DO NOT hire a professional organizer. Each student must find their own system and not all systems work for all people. I'm very afraid that the message your daughter will learn from that is that she can always hire someone to do whatever it is she doesn't do well. Unfortunately, employers frown upon their employees hiring people to organize for them. It's a skill and it must be learned, oftentimes the hard way.

The good news is learning these skills is what middle school is for and middle schoolers are notoriously disorganized. Stick with it and she should come around.

Good luck!

My dauthters' middle school requests that they have a separate folder and binder for each class (way too much to carry around). Anyway, they highly recommend a color coding system, which works great for most students.

Since books need to be covered (in our school) get a different color for each subject. Also have matching notebook and folder for each subject. For example math is red. That way when she goes to math she knows to grab everything red, and then she'll be sure to have it with her when the teacher collects the assignments.

Note: what works for one student, may not work for another, she just may have to figure out her own way

Good luck.

get her a laptop and have an agreement to email or fax it in to teacher after finished with. I am a returning student for college and I went to walmart and bought different color binders for each subject. sometimes I went to the library to complete assignments before turning them in. At college we turned our assingments in on blackboard that the teacher had set up for students. It was read off the computer and we had a hard coppy at home in our folder for backup

I think you are doing a wonderful job of trying to figure out what works for her. Most parents would not go that far. Keep in mind that being organized does not come naturally to everyone. For those that have a harder time, finding a system, then developing a habit helps. I do believe that it is very normal for this age (I have a 13 daughter who also struggles), but keep at it and as long as she is slowly progressing (and she should as she matures) things will get better. It is good you are working with her now, as it gets harder once they are in high school (I have one of those too!)

M.

Wow, sounds like my oldest girl...I haven't read your other responses, however, have you had her checked for ADD or ADHD? Organizing issues are a major symptom of ADD. We worked with my daughter's teachers throughout elementary school & tried many different things--including separate folders &/or 3 ring binders for each subject. That seemed to make her feel too confused & overwhelmed, BTW. She would cry about how she just couldn't keep things straight & would feel really bad because she knew she had done the work, but she couldn't find it or remember to bring in on time. Yes, many days I brought to school the homework that she had left somewhere around our house. My sister is a teacher & knows the AVID method & set her up with that system, she just couldn't maintain it. We did finally chose to try meds (in middle school) & it has helped her organization (among other things) tremendously. Now she gets 95% of her assignments in to the teachers early. The papers may be rumpled, because the whole folder thing makes her crazy, & she just stuffs the papers in her textbooks, but at least they are turned in. Her backpack is a black hole (still), but she can maintain her focus long enough to do the work & get it into the teachers on time & frequently she is now EARLY with her assignments.

My middle daugther LOVES the color coded folders, labels, matching gel pens & 3 ring binders. She watched her Auntie set up the system for her sister & then she asked me for all the stuff & set up her own, with no help from me or her Auntie. She's been using it since she was in 2nd grade (way before she even needed it), & she never has issues with missing or incomplete assignments. She CLEARLY got the organization gene for our family!

A professional organizer is a great idea, however any system set up has to be simple enough for your daughter to maintain without any prompting from you, so that she can do ____@____.com Luck

let me know if you find an answer..I have a 10 year old w/the same problem!!!! I have tried everyhting and read every book!! lol :)