Need Some Advice or Suggestions

I know how you feel! I got out of the military and we were living off one paycheck and kept digging ourselves in a hole in debt. We called InCharge Debt Solutions. They are awesome! The lower your interest rates and other crazy fees! Your monthly payments are as reasonable as they can make them. They are NOT a debt consolidation company that pays your bills. You pay them monthly payments and they send out all the payments. There is no contract and it is not a loan! Their webpage is http://www.incharge.org Just check it out and call! They helped me and I am so happy they did!

Go online and get information on a 503C not for profit (NFP) bill consolidation company. They will talk with your creditors and set you up on a payment plan. I went with Elimidebt but would not recommend this one to you. They were a little shaky at first but I did not get the feeling that these people were professionals. As with all NFP orgs. the first payment is tax deductible. Also get rid of your credit cards and don't get any new ones. Suze Orman was on public tv discussing this very thing. You may want to check out her book. As for your spending habits, challenge yourself to save money. Make a game of it. At the end of the week, look at what you have saved and pay something off. I had a contest going with my best friend and we would try to "outcheap" each other. You will be surprised how much fun it can be. When you are finally out of debt, set aside a budget for spending. Stay out of the malls and off the internet. And don't look at the sales ads. I hope this helps.

You need Debtors Annonymous. It is a fantastic 12 step program that will help you get to the root of your spending habits. I recommend it whole heartedly. You will be in awe at the people there that get real help. And they are just like you and me!

I work for the fed govt also. I know how tough it can be but I have found that if you first firgure out where is all your money going each week then you can start working on paying down your debt. Keep a log --- track every penny you spendfor a week or so and see where is it going--lunch? coffee? kids meals? extras? My husband and I have decided to only buy what we need for the kids not what they want .My kids are in elem and middle school but they know how much our utility bills are and they see how much we spend on gas and groceries. WE also do not go out to eat very often--- we have picnics with the kids but it is so expensive to go out to dinner vs buying food at the grocery store. GOod luck and remember paying even 25 dollars more each week on debt will make a difference. Once you figure how much is going out then look to see if some is discretionary (cable, cell phones, dry cleaning, going out to dinner) etc and what is mandatory -- then makes some choices-- it is hard but it is life.... we have to make choices everyday...

You cannot start a business until you get out of debt. Any respectable bank ( and you don't want to work with one that isn't) will laugh you off their premises.

I can tell you one thing NOT to do - DON'T go to one of those debt consolidation companies. I've known two couples who did, and both got into even deeper trouble. These companies are supposed to pay your bills for you (what, are you 5 years old?!) and if/when they don't, guess who gets the late fees, that's right YOU. In the end you are responsible for getting it paid so why go through a middle man? My friend’s bills were not paid so they ended up with even more debt in late fees and black marks on their credit. DON'T give someone else control of you finances. For one thing, it teaches you nothing.

Cut up all but one or two of your credit cards. Call the companies of the cards you have and ask how low they are willing to go to keep you. Yes, they may tell you to jump in a lake! But it’s well worth asking. Definitely get rid of Macy’s, Shell, JCPenny, Dillards, all that kind of thing. Do it ASAP!!!! Maybe do a ritual shredding with the whole family with several pairs scissors! Make it fun! Keep the cards, only one or two major ones, like Visa, MC, with the lowest interest rates. Next, power-pay the one with the hightest interest rate and/or the highest balance. Pay as far above the minimum as you can. Pay the minimum on everything else until that one is paid off. Then close the account. Then go to the next highest, etc.

Get credit counseling, but look out for the rip-offs. There are many Americans in debt like you are at this time and so there are a lot of "carpet baggers" willing to take advantage of them/you. I googled free credit counseling and got these sites. I'm not endorsing anything, this was just a quick search. I don't know if there's any kind of a fee. Considering the problem, that should be your first question! Free should mean free. ".org" is usually a good sign.

http://landingpages.moneymanagement.org/Debt/default.asp?...

http://www.familycredit.org

www.moneymanagement.org

I haven’t read anything by Suze Orman yet, but when ever I see her on a TV talk show I find myself nodding my head at the advice she gives. She’s especially interested in getting and keeping women on their feet financially so they can be independent.
This one looks like she’s talking about your problem exactly! http://www.amazon.com/Steps-Financial-Freedom-Practical-S...
It’s only 10 or 11 bucks. Might be an investment worth looking into.

Like any other habit...you just have to take your life back! Ask yourself why you need these things. You don't! What you and your boys NEED is food, clothing (reasonable /professional), shelter, a vehicle (nothing fancy, it's a tool). You DON’T need lattes, Tommy Helfiger, a BMW, or even cable if you can't afford it. Cut out as much as you can, and then cut out some more. Like I said, if you have to go without cable for a year or so , so be it. You may find there are other things in life to do/see. (H-e-e-y!) If you're really having trouble cutting down, then you might need personal counseling. Have you gone through a traumatic event lately? Maybe just not feeling fulfilled so you try to do it with STUFF? Mid-life crisis? This may be something you need help figuring out.

Or maybe you're just like many others at this time and keeping up with the Jonses is "in". Well get out! You said it yourself, it's a habit just like any other and you have some work ahead of you. EVERY time you buy something bring yourself up short a go "I'm up to my a** in debt, do I really, really need this?" Once you’re out of debt, ask yourself “ Do I really, really want to go back to that? NO.” The fun part is trying to remember to do that! But you can. You must. You will!

If your spending is out of control, I'll bet you have stuff in your closets, garage, storage units, that is brand new or gently used and could be sold. Have a big garage sale and get rid of it. I swear you will feel so much better. Lighter actually. Sell it if you can ‘cause you could use the cash, but give it away if you have to. Maybe to friends you know would appreciate it. Put any proceeds toward you bills. ANY proceeds, I don't care if it's only 20 bucks. Sell the SUV or BMW and get something that's nicer to your wallet.

Good luck to you.

-S. Kav

Oh! And when you get out from under, or even start to, start SAVING as much as you can. Make it a regular bill to put money into savings. If you work for Uncle Sam you should be able to set up an allotment. Pay yourself! Pretty soon you'll find yourself with a habit you like! Maybe we can replace bad habits with good ones...hmmm! Someone should write a book if it hasn't been written already!

First and foremost, sit down and figure out for yourself WHY you need to fix this..make it real...find the fear of what is going to happen to you and your family if you don't. WRITE it down...all the details of your fear...and add in your dreams too...so in essence: this is what is going to happen if I don't change this and this is what I want my life to be like in 5 years...DREAM BIG! Put this in a place to remind yourself during temptations...make several copies if you have to ...put one with your credit cards.

For the moment, get rid of all credit cards except one to use either for emergencies or day to day stuff like groceries...debit only would be best....allow yourself to only spend what you have...no more debt. The day your paycheck goes in the bank, make the necessary payments to all your creditors and expenses...don't let it sit in your account as a temptation to spend...make your payments first..put a little in savings if you can as well.

Aside from the acute, get a side income source to make more money. I am in a great one that has saved many women from situations like yours. One that is less labor intensive than your gift business that can put you in a position to have that business later. If you would like to know more about it, contact me directly.

Good luck with this and God Bless. You've done the first step already...admitted you need to get help and asked for it...now you need to take the next step and take action.

Hello Staphanie,
I am just new to Mamasource and read your post. I am curiuos to know how things are going for you and your financial scenario. The holidays are a very tough time
for families and we always want to give our children more.
I am a finacial coach and would be more than willing to sit
down with you and offer some advice after looking at your situation. I do not charge a fee for this opportunity and truly believe that I may be able to offer you some hope.
It is a new year and a time to gain control for your future and that of your boys.
I look forward to hearing from you and the possibility of imporving your current financial situation.
Sincerely,
A. L.