21 answers

Need Ideas of Sleeping Arrangements...

Hi moms-
I need your thoughts and experiences! We have a 3 bedroom home, currently our rooming situation is my husband and I in one, our 2 daughters in another, and our son in his own. The problem... our 8 month old is waking up everyone at night. The last 3 weeks now she does not sleep more then 2 hour stretches, and screams and cries until I nurse her. She did have an ear infection and is being treated for that.
We can not let her "cry it out" as it wakes up her sister who has to get up for school in the morning. We tried putting our oldest in with her brother, but he is having night terrors as well as is a bed hog (not possible to put another bed in his room- so they had to share). We even brought our 4 year old in our room several times but do not want to start that habit with her (took us until she was 3 for her to make it through the night without needing mom or dad by her to fall asleep).
We eventually end up co-sleeping with our 8 month old, which gives up little sleep anyhow because she still wakes up as frequent as well as we are know she is there so do not sleep soundly.
I did post about this before and we tried the water trick and having daddy try and put her back to sleep, but nothing worked. The main issue is that it is affecting our other 2 children as well as my husband and I health. Our 4 year olds behavior is starting to show that she is tired and that is what is most upsetting. I am trying to recover from a sinus infection that just will not go away and my husband has thyroid issues that act up when he is stressed and not sleeping enough.
I am sorry this is so long, but my sanity depends on some ideas. Thanks again!!

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Well we are working on 4 teeth, yep, 4 all at once!! The top row!! So that does not help. I figured that once the summer hits and my husband is home (he is a teacher) we can do some adjusting in the house to help her fall back to sleep better. But as of now, she is our sleeping companion!! Thanks moms!!

Featured Answers

Maybe you need to get creative with where the yougest sleeps. Try locating her in another room or a space of her own and most everyone else could get more sleep. I would definitely talk to the doctors, it sounds like everyone needs their rest and to start feeling better.

Good luck and I hope that you find an answer soon.

More Answers

Maybe you need to get creative with where the yougest sleeps. Try locating her in another room or a space of her own and most everyone else could get more sleep. I would definitely talk to the doctors, it sounds like everyone needs their rest and to start feeling better.

Good luck and I hope that you find an answer soon.

Send your other kids to grandmas for the weekend while you let your baby work things out! I love the book Healthy Sleep, Happy Baby, and it has helped me a ton with sleep problems with my own kids. I found that the Ocean Wonders worked well for my kids, because when they woke up in the night, they could turn the music back on themselves and it had a little night light on it. Hang in there, if you always go save them, they'll always cry for you!

I am serious get "good night sleep tight" by the sleep lady. It is the best book ever! our boys share a room, and we had the same problem with our 10 month old waking up our 4 year old. you need to teach her how to put herself back to sleep when she wakes up. just like when you roll over in the night and put yourself back to sleep. It is a learned behaviour.she is old enough not to be nursed through the whole night. this book has changed our family's sleep for the better. My baby sleeps 11 hours a night and takes two wonderful naps during the day now! I used it for our older boy too and he is sleeping so much better. I think your girls can learn to sleep in the same room just fine! you don't need to kick your husband out or move the baby in your room! I know that this book can help you like it helped me! give it a try so you can have a restful happy family!!

I am not sure if this is advice or not, but I have a 7 and 1/2 month old girl also. She was doing great with sleeping. She would take her bath about 7:00pm, sit with us for a few mintues and then 7:30-8pm bed time with a bottle and rocking. Then up at 10:30-11:30pm to eat and change her diaper and then sleep until 5am (ish). Now OH BOY... up every 1-3 hours. I get up with her at night the husband does not, so I know the sleep issue. I have tried to make sure that she stays in her routine ALL the time. I think a routine is key with babies. Even if we are not at home for the night. I do feed her ceral also before the bath. I think this helps to keep her fuller at night. This is what I do now... and for you it may be harder. I feed her cereal before the bath, then bath , then bottle. I try to not let her take LONG naps in the evening times. 1 hour max before 5pm. After that if she's sleepy 15 mintues to refresh. Then play play play. If she wakes at night more than once I make sure she has a clean dry diaper and full belly and then if she wakes again (for a third time) cry alittle, 1/2 hour max. And I know with older kids it is harder but I am not sure if there is any other way. I think once baby knows bed time is bed time and no one will come get them they go back to sleep. At least mine has been. I just know sooner or later we will get to sleep peacefully again. Not sure if this babbling helps but I wish you luck and hang in there it always gets better.

so dose your 4 1/2 yr old have the bigger room of the two if so move your daughter in to his room and move him in the room with your baby i would also try feading cereal right befor the last nurse befor you go to bed do you have a co sleeper they are also like a pack and play but they butt right up tio your bed and lock there they musy of been made by a mommy well hope something i said will help you hope you get six hour of straight sleep

R., Sorry for your troubles. Does your 8 month old eat a regular feeding at night? or just nibble? does she use a pacifier (some people warned us about nipple confusion, but my daughter took battle, breast and pacifier and was never confused about it). has she ever slept through the night? I would also try letting her "cry it out" on the weekends when perhaps the rest of the family can camp out in the basement or living room so as not to be disturbed. Hope that helps have a great day and good luck!

Have you thought about putting someone in the living room or the dining room? My husband and I have thought about this, as we are contemplating #2 and we only have a two bedroom house (and don't really want to move). It might be easiest for you and your husband to sleep in the living room, since you're up the latest. I have mixed feelings about crying it out and co-sleeping, but at 8 mos. it's nice if she can start sleeping through the night (or close to it).
Let us know what works... like I said, we'll be facing the same dilemma if we decide to have kid #2.

We have co-slept with all 4 of our children. With our second child we took one side off the crib, took off the wheels and put it next to our bed. We adjusted the crib bed so it is at the same height as our bed. When he woke up I just nursed him and then laid him back in the crib, so we all had our space. Our baby was secure because he was next to me and my husband and I got our sleep.
Our 3 oldest children sleep in their own beds and are very secure about it. The baby (our now 10 months old) sleeps with us in our now King size bed and it works very well. You might need to change your "state of mind" about co-sleeping. For us it is about getting our sleep and this is the only way we start out sleeping with our children.

Good Luck!

Sounds like my house. You have too many things going on at the same time. Until things calm down I would bring a pack and play in your room and put the baby to sleep their for a while just until things calm down a bit, and then try puting her back with her sister. Maybe wait till the night terrors are over and you and your husband get healthier, these things are impossible to deal with the right way when everyone is sick. When all are well try putting the baby in the room on the weekends when the sister's sleep won't be as affected or have the sister have a camp out in the living room with a friend for a weekend. You don't have to necessarily let them scream it out I personally can't do that, but If they develope a routine for a few days it seems to help.
sorry, I hope this helps a little...

Have you thought about quitting nursing and giving her formula? Maybe she is just trying to get more to eat. How about sleeping in a pack and play in your room so the other girl can sleep, or having her "cry it out" in a pack and play in the living room? Good luck to you.


I talked to my doctor about letting my daughter cry it out when she was 10 1/2 months old. He said that she was plenty old enough and gave us advice on how to best accomplish it. He also stated that it only takes 3 days to break a child. In our case, it only took 2 days. The first night was hard, as it took 2 hours of crying, but the second night was only about 30 minutes. On the third, she went right to sleep. I realize that you have other children who need their rest, but with a long weekend from school coming up, this might be a good opportunity for you. Our pediatrician recommended that both parents be present if possible for suppport. Also, that you do not go into their room unless you have to. The child may even throw up, because they will get themselves so worked up. If they do, go in calmly, without making much eye comtact and clean them up. Try to avoid removing them from the crib if at all possible and then leave the room again. So long as your child is healthy, dry and feed then you know that they are fine. You may want to ask your Ped, but I know that it was the best thing I ever did even if I hated the idea of doing it. Good Luck!

Hi! So sorry about how difficult things are in your house lately. My 13m. old doesnt really sleep through the night so I relate to not letting your baby cry it out and nursing her back to sleep. It works for us and so we continue to do things that way. Sounds like her sleep habits are messed up due to her ear infection and most likely, teething. Have you tried giving her tyenol before she goes to bed? Of course not every night, but once to make sure it's not pain due to her teeth? Could you bring your baby into your bedroom and have her sleep in a pac'n play until things return to normal? I read a GREAT book full of practical advice called, "The No Cry Sleep Solution" you should try to buy it used on amazon.com. My thoughts is that this is a phase and to treat it that way. If you are really concerned you could have your kids go to grandparents/friends house for a couple of nights to get some sleep. Good Luck!

I have been obsessively reading books about infant sleep issues after having similar issues with my 7-month old, and what you are experiencing is completely normal and even pretty common. I HIGHLY recommend you take a look at "Good Night, Sleep Tight" by Kim West and/or "The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems" by Tracy Hogg. (the Milwaukee library system has them). They both offer excellent and KIND plans (no leaving the baby to "cry it out" alone) to help you baby learn how to sleep through the night. Good luck!

Could you set up a pack in play in you living/family room area or have one of the other children camp out in that area. You could move who ever it is once you and your husband are going to bed. Maybe if you can just get past this point and sleeping at night the baby can easily transition into sharing the room with big sister again. My 2 share a room also and the 8 month old does wake the 3 year old if she is crying for too long in the middle of the night.

Temporarily can you put a pack in play up in your bedroom for your 8 month old, just until she starts to sleep better.

Yes, first I would find a way to have the 8 month old be by herself out of ear shot from the others as much as possible, at least until she starts sleeping through the night.

I agree with the other moms feed her more. Also, I used the Delta Sleep System with my kids--I swear by it. This is a music CD that regulates your brain waves for optimum sleep. You can buy this on line, and it is inexpensive.

I wish you many nights of restful sleep for the WHOLE family!!


Having your baby CIO in another room is not the answer. If possible, keep her in your bed, or at least in your room, and nurse her when she needs it. My 8-mo-old sleeps with my husband and me, and yes, I do nurse her during the night, but I barely wake up to do so and she goes right back to sleep. I'm sure I get more sleep doing this than I would if she were in another room crying. Babies go through so many changes in their first year or two, and sometimes they just need us to comfort and reassure them. Hang in there. It won't be like this forever, and it will get better.

Hi R., All I can add is my 5 and 3 yr. olds sleep together in seperate beds very well, with a lullaby music cd on continuous repeat all night, and my 7 month old has his own room with an ocean sound cd on continuous play all night. They all do pretty well. I used to have a baby in a pack and play in other rooms of the house at night and that did allow for better sleep for everyone.
Hope something helps!

I have some of the same issues you have, we have 7 children in a modest 4 bedroon house, 2 rooms in the basement, those are used by my oldest 4 and two on the main level, my husbands room and then my six and 3 year old share a room, the livivng room is where me and the baby stay, it allows my husband to get his sleep (he works 10-12 hour days 6-7 days a week) and I don't have to worry as much about everyone being woken up and allows me to move a little bit more freely, the baby is 16 months old know and I still sleep this way, I find for me that getting up at night isn't so bad so long as I am not feeling the added pressure of waking everyone else up in the house.

One thing you could consider is moving you and your husband out of your room and placing the baby in thier until you have her night time situation resolved, I do not believe in allowing a little one to cry it out, there is always going to be a little crying, but I would first try to understand why it is she is crying, they don't cry for no reason. Feed her a little more at night and maybe try pumping and start her on a night bottle, instead of nursing, this will also help her find her independence at night, that is the best I can give good luck, it won't happen over night it takes time.

Maybe she isn't getting enough to eat during the day???
Try a paci?
Not much help, sorry.
Maybe the doc can help, maybe she has something going on?

A playpen in the living room. That way if the baby wakes you can just already be in the living room to nurse if needs be - or the baby can cry it out and not wake others (hopefully) I have triplets and one of them spent lots of time in the living room at night. Then I would just take the playpen down in the day and put it in my room for naps. My husband and I also have an air purifier in our room. It cleans the air while also providing a little white noise so that you don't hear every noise and sleep a little more soundly. I didn't sleep all night for over a year. And one still gets up a little. The sacrifices we make as moms huh! Good luck.

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