Need Advice - Grove City,OH

Updated on February 21, 2008
E.F. asks from Grove City, OH
18 answers

My step-son was doing so well in school. Now it seems like were back where we were last year. Forgetting homework and getting F's on tests. My husband and I are so frustrated. We've punished him and have tried to be postive. Were running out of things to try. Last year the teacher though he may have ADHD. We went through the testing and they believed he had an auditory processing disorder. He was supposed to start a 504 plan and get speech. His new teacher just now saw this plan. Now were being told we have to get him tested else where. I just want to scream and I know my husband feels the same way. Yesterday his teacher sent a note home saying she was frustrated as well but no one wants to help. I'm not sure what to do next. If anyone out there has been through this I really need advice. I'm stuck. I don't want some doctor I don't even know just to diagnose him with something.

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M.W.

answers from Louisville on

Please keep a watch out for Dyslexia.. my son has it and he got some special glasses and is doing a 100% better in school!
go to
dyslexiasolutions.com

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J.N.

answers from Dayton on

Try cranial scarial therapy, most chiro do this. It can really help. I use chiros out in enon ###-###-####

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M.P.

answers from Cleveland on

Hi E.,
I'm not sure what school district you're in, but it doesn't really matter. If your son has been tested and diagnosed w/ an auditory processing disorder, then legally the school must provide whatever educational resources his team (which is you, the teachers, the audiologist, school psychologist, etc) deem appropriate. They only have 90 days to figure out a plan after the diagnosis has been made. 504 plans are different from IEPs, but it's still important and legally necessary for him to get the services needed.
I'm a certified teacher for the hearing impaired. You can email me if you'd like to conference more specifically about your step-son.
M.

2 moms found this helpful
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G.W.

answers from Cleveland on

Hi E.,

My son was diagnosed a few years ago with auditory processing disorder and was given an I.E.P. by the school. Since his diagnosis during his 3rd grade year he has seen a speech teacher during the school day a couple times per week. Last year he went once per week and this will be his last year also at once per week. My son is doing much better now and has learned many tools to process information better. It sounds like the school already diagnosed your son but then dropped the ball with starting him up with speech. I wonder if this is their way to avoid taking blame. If he was diagnosed late in the year he should have started meeting with a speech teacher at the beginning of this school year. It is the school's responsibility to provide the services necessary for the needs of their students. Maybe you should request the results of their diagnosis of APD and consult the principal. If your child is attending a private school then you may have more difficulties getting the help your son needs.
Please be encouraged that with speech therapy and the tools they give your son will help him be successful with his education without medication. I hope this helps!
G.

2 moms found this helpful
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D.M.

answers from Columbus on

E. I do not know what school system you are in, but in my experience, and I have had 3 out of 5 kids participate in speech therapy, you should not need any testing that can't be done right at the school to participate in the program. It sounds to me like you are getting a run around, and I would go directly to the principal or school counselor and express your concerns. My 15yr old did the refusal to do homework gig for years, it was extremely frustrating and embarassing, we sat at the table for hours an evening til finally I couldn't take anymore. Fortunately we do have teachers and school officials who care here, and were willing to help both of us out, in 6th grade it finally got to point that they would keep him after school for 2-3hrs for study tables until he decided it was easier to just do it! My heart is with you, wish you tons of luck and peace!

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P.S.

answers from Cincinnati on

Hi, E.!

You didn't mention how old your step son was, but We went through same thing with my daughter. Same diagnosis, auditory processing disorder.

She was diagnosed when she was in first grade. Her public school put her on a plan and she saw the district's speech teacher several times a week for 2 years. The speech part didn't help her because she didn't like the teacher and they went over the same things over and over by repeating things. The thing that helped her tremendously after the 2 years of speech, was I believe a March of Dimes summer program. I believe it only cost us around $25. The lessons were reinforced with games, stories, and doing.

The school explained that when she learned something new, she may only remember part of it, or some of the info would be mixed up. The only thing that helped her was repetition and involving her in activities that reinforced what she was learning in school. It helped when she could see what she needed to learn. It also helped to put the lesson into a song or story format.

She was in a room with other children that had learning disabilities or behavioral problems. She wasn't mainstreamed into a regular classroom until the 6th grade. This was when she learned to compensate in figuring out ways to learn. She also would tape classes later in college.

It was very frustrating for her and us. She is very intelligent, but just learns differently. I taught her at home every night what they were trying to teach her in school, and my spouse worked nights. It's going to be tough, I won't sugar coat it for you.

This was all 20 years ago and this was a very new and foreign concept for us to understand. You're trying to help them learn plus keep their self-esteem level up. My daughter said that she felt stupid or dumb because she was separated from the other children.

She was evaluated by a professional after high school before she went to college, who diagnosed her with the same thing, but also said she had a mild attention deficit. Our state had a program that she was enrolled in while she was in college which helped her with learning materials and later with job searches.

She is now 27, who kept a 3.5 GPA, and now has a bachelors degree. So, good luck to you and if you have any questions, let me know.

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S.B.

answers from Lima on

do you have a counseling or family resource center of some sort in your town or near you? if so then try contacting the office and set up an apointment to see an intake worker to have your son tested for ADHD. also, ask for an interview with the school's psychologist to have him/her evaluate your son's behavior and or performance in the classroom. do not take No for an answer. i went through this with my son and he is now 14 and doing better in school. S.

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L.S.

answers from Louisville on

I have a handicap son. He is autistic and totally deaf along with developemental delay (those are just the main things). Unforuntly, in my experience, school systems do not like to give help if they don't have to. If you live in the Louisville (anywhere in KY) here are some resources that can help you. Seven Counties ###-###-####, ask for Vickie Evans. Parent Advocacy ###-###-#### ask for Susan or April. Developemental Services ###-###-#### ask for Trudy or Gail. Start with Vickie Evans, tell her L. Sanders gave you this number and you need help. She is wonderful. If she can't help you, she'll send you in the right direction. She also has a daughter who is deaf and she has been through alot, like me, also. At times you might feel as if you are getting the run around (more than likely you are), like I did. It will eventually work out. Just stand firm and be a good advocate for your child. Also, call the state department of education in Frankfort ###-###-####) request Ky State Sp. Ed. Regulation book. It is free and you'll get it in the mail in a couple of days. Read it inside and out, learn the laws. When you talk to the people at school and you use the terms in this book, like "due process" etc. They start paying attention because they know then that you know the laws and will stand up for your child's rights. If you have any questions or just need to talk, email me. Good luck.

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T.

answers from Columbus on

I have not gone through this, but have seen similar situations that friends have had to go though. Do not let the school push you around, I have seen several of my firends in battle with the school systems, who all want to take the easy way out, drug up the kids and not find out what is realy wrong. Don't get me wrong, some kids have ADHD and need the help, but not EVERY learning problem is ADHD, but some schools seam to think so. Your pediatrician can examin for ADHD and hopefully you trust him more than anyone the school would recomend. Your Pediatrician should also be able to help with where to go for additional testing. There are so many things it can be besides ADHD and if he was tested and they said that is not what it was last year, then it probably is not. I would look for suport from outside the school -- sorry I can't be more specific, but maybe Sylvin, or one of those places can help get to the bottom of his problem. Good luck.

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K.K.

answers from Cleveland on

Hi!

I highly recommend the article, "A New Approach to Attention Defficit Disorder" by Thomas E. Brown from Educational/Leadership/Februrary 2007. I am a teacher and our principal had us read it last year and I found it VERY informative. If your interested and can't find it please send me a message and I'll see what I can do...

K.

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L.

answers from Cleveland on

My son is ADHD, and he has an auditory processing disorder as well.
The only way to get the help he needs has been to go along with the school. Some of the things they say I don't agree with 100%, but he had a 504 plan and it was not enough, so I agreed to have a "Multifactored Evaluation" done by the school psychologist. For ours, the psychologist spoke with me alot to get a feel for the child's needs , then did some IQ and academic testing. A few weeks after that , we met with the team (psychologist, teacher, principal, parents and Special Ed. Dept. Head) to write the IEP.
After that, you have a meeting every year to adjust it. My son is on medicine for ADHD, but he had speech therapy for about three years to help with his APD, and it did help a lot.
To get the whole thing started, you need to request , in writing , the evaluation. I was told to actually hand the letter to the principal, which I did. There are laws governing how the school handles this.
I would try to work with the school first...then
If you can't get anywhere with the school, call The Ohio Coalition for the Education of Children with Disabilities.
(800)374-2806 . You are in Ohio aren't you?

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L.W.

answers from Columbus on

Try to stay strong. My youngest son was diagnosed with ADD two years ago. He is now 15 and gets straight A's in school. The process for testing for ADD and ADHD are simple and it is actually based on the information your doctor receives from the school and the parents. If you have doubts that your (step) son has ADHD ask your pediatrician for some information on the disorder. If he has it you'll know from reading the information provided (TRUST ME!!!) Also, please let him know if he is diagnosed with ADHD that it is a desease just like diabetes and there is nothing to be ashamed of. Alot of stigmatism is placed on this type of disorder.

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S.F.

answers from Louisville on

E.,
I'm curious, how is his relationship with his real mom? Could that be an underlying issue?

Also, it might be worth checking into a tutoring program...a good one. I had to do this with my 10 year old and it has taken away a lot of my stress plus someone else has been able to spark his interest enough that now he is trying harder on his own at school. Tutoring can be expensive, but worth every penny. Teachers once said my son had ADHD or a learning disability and should have him checked out. He was never checked for ADHD, he just honestly didn't have one on one time that he needed at school...he didn't understand and struggled in a few areas, especially math, and to avoid embarrassment for not knowing how to do the work and feeling stupid, he acted out. Once he started tutoring and actually learning the materials, it changed everything. I recommend Club Z Tutors. I could also refer my son's tutor.

Good luck!

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W.M.

answers from Toledo on

Hi I wanted to tell you yes it is very frusterating but you and your husband are his only voice you need to make yourself known at his school be in that principals office everyday if that is what it takes if you get nowhere with the principal then call the board of education and speak to her boss it is hard when you don't want to cause problems but this has gone on long enought by law your child has the right to an education and if he is struggleing because of a learning disability or a behavior issue stand up for his rights everyday you wait he is failing very important information he is not learning. I know it is hard I had to do it i even went as far as demanding they transfer her school when she was transfered the new principal was awesome tested her right away and she has a tutor to help her with her school work all provided by the school you and your child have rights and you are the only person who can stand up for him I think you feel like your hands are tied there not you hit a road block you got over that road blocks head there is always a boss of a boss if you talk to enought people you will get your son taken care of hang in there and be strong.

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J.G.

answers from Columbus on

Hi E.:

This is a tough situation. It is very likely that the turn around is because he doesn't process things in the classroom like you or I would. You might want to have him tested for dyslexia. www.diaohio.org has a lot of information that might be helpful.

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A.M.

answers from Cincinnati on

You and his teacher need to sit down with the school administrators and councelor to come up with an IEP(Individual Education Plan) for him. Unfortunately you have to be his advocate for this I know it might be frustrating but it is something that will help him out until you can get the right treatment for him. I worked with a kid that I know when I saw her that she need help. I told my supervisor the minute I picked up on it which at the time was at the beginning of the school year by Christmas break they finally got her the help she needed. It is just unfortuantely one of those things that will slip through the cracks if parents are not on top of. It sounds like you are and you are trying everything you can do to get him help.

Good luck.

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M.R.

answers from Cincinnati on

I answer this as a teacher who has worked for 11 years with high school kids, many of whom have had either IEPs or 504 plans. As a requirement of both types of plans, I have sat in on many meetings and given feedback regarding student progress.

I know you may be hesitant to get testing, but honestly, that's how the whole IEP (individualized education plan, diagnosis/plan by the school) and the 504 accommodations plans (diagnosis determined by private physicians) works. As frustrating as it is, you will have to have some sort of testing whether your child's school psychologist does it or your private practice physician does it. No one can walk into school and say "my child has this problem, therefore he needs accommodations" without any sort of diagnostic testing from an appropriate source. If that were the case, think about how many kids would have an IEP just because the parents want one - draining the special education resources from the students who truly need them! There's got to be some sort of diagnostic testing to substantiate the need for special services/accommodations. I'm not saying your child doesn't have a need for additional services, but the testing helps to determine the issues, thus outlining the accommodations needed. No one will get an IEP/504 just because they march in to school and say they want one for their kid. That's legally not possible.

It's frustrating but get the testing done. Doing this is the first step in getting the help you need. You should be able to contact child's classroom teacher, special education department, or school psychologist to get more information. Unfortunately, there is a LOT of legal red tape and documentation when it comes to giving/receiving special services so it would be worth your while to make an appointment with the school to find out exactly what you need to do.

An example - one of my students CLEARLY had learning issues but her parents refused to allow the school to test her. They begged and begged and begged for her to have extra time on tests, visual organizers, no use of Scantron, etc. but without ANY sort of diagnosis the school could not begin the process. Repeatedly we informed the family that since they refused in-house testing and diagnosis, they would have to go to their own physician and have him conduct the testing. We even gave the family the forms and told them exactly what they needed to do, step by step. They kept dragging their feet and needless to say, her academic performance continued to suffer. It was a really sad situation because she was a nice kid who really needed help, but the family refused to follow the proper channels to get her the assistance she needed.

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D.

answers from Cincinnati on

HI E.
My sister has a son that you just described. I can't urge you enough to get him the help he needs. I know how frustrating it is on you and your husband but no one is any more frustrated than your son. There is not a child out there that wants to do bad. It may be time consuming with running to the doctors but well worth it in the long run. My sister's son is now 15 and still doing the same thing. He starts off well at the beginning of school then slowly falls back. As parents we must know we did everything possible to help our children. My sister is in the process of getting some more testing done. She has put this off due to the fact she has a child with diabetes and is ill herself. (This really should have been taken care of early and as you can see the problem continues and worsens.) The best thing you can do for you and your family right now is to have a routine and stick with it. Be consistent. I would advise starting with Children's Hospital for a doctor. My heart goes out to you and your son.
Many Blessings
D.

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