Nanny Troubles

You don't need to give 2 weeks notice to fire someone who is not doing their job. If you want to be nice and pay her till the end of this week, since it's only 3 more days and Christmas, that's fine. But she's not listening, and doesn't have the authority to get the job done. Perhaps contact Autismspeaks.org and find your local office - they may have access or can recommend a network of sitters that know how to deal with the challenging kiddos :)

Effective immediately. U can give an extra weeks pay if u want but dont have her in your home for 2 wks.

No, I don't think you have to give her any paid notice. She's not doing the job you hired her to do. You can let her know today that Friday will be her last day. Be prepared to find back up care in case she decided that today will be her last day. She's within her rights to do that.

I suggest you tell your next nanny that you are hiring her on a trial basis. Make sure she fully understands that challenges your son's behavior will present and the type of discipline required to deal with him.

Best of luck!

Have you considered switching him to a full day preschool which would give him structure and interaction with other children all day. He would also be with the same teacher/caretaker all day vs going from mom/dad to school to nanny.

If you can stay home or find another care giver...she's gone this minute. What if your child decided to drink nail polish remover instead of just making a major mess...or fell out the window?

I would have probably fired her on the spot. As for your little one growling? You are absolutely right....GROWL back and show him who is in control. I also think your husband is right, designate a time out spot where he can be looked after.

No, no, no. She shouldn't growl back. Your husband isn't helping.

Yes, yes, yes, fire her. Don't give her two weeks notice. You don't want a fired nanny taking care of your child. You don't want her in your house either.

If you want to be kind, you can give her a week's pay. It's according to how long she has been working for you. It sounds like she is rather new. If she has been working for you for less than 6 months, I wouldn't give a severence.

M., it's good that you understand your son's issues. I do hope that he is getting OT to help with his sensory problems. I also hope that the next nanny you get actually understands child development. This one that you have is not a nanny. She might be a MOM, but that doesn't mean that she is nanny material. A nanny has experience dealing with children and is able to help children work WITH them towards good behavior. They have a "bag of tricks" of tried and true methods to handle children. This woman doesn't. She evidently doesn't even know that there is nail polish remover in the room she has put him in. Someone SO ineffective as to not know how to unlock a locked room just has no business being in charge of your child. She acts like a babysitter. You aren't paying for babysitting.

It's not just discipline and authority that you want in your next candidate. It is an understanding of how to work with children, like your last lady had. With this understanding comes the knowledge of how to handle children and stand up to a 4 year old's antics. There has to be strictness AND kindness and love shown to your child. Punishment isn't the answer. All this lady knew how to do was punish.

Actually, you are doing you both a favor by letting her go. She is in over her head and you hired the wrong person in the first place. Time to start over. I hope you have good candidates and that you hire a better person this time.

Good luck,
Dawn

If she cannot control/ adequately supervise your son. Terminate at the end of the week, and pay two weeks salary as severance in lieu of two weeks notice. Advise that he needs someone with more discipline/ authority.

Hope you can find someone with a firm but gentle touch.

Good luck to you and yours,
F. B.

I think this child would do better in a full time child care. the kids in childcare do not have access for lotions and potions.. the teachers plan activities for thekids.. it is structured.. i do not believe in childcare for babies.. but for 4 year olds. it is usually the best option.

Let her go, give her two weeks severance if you choose (which I wouldn't, because she sounds terrible--leaving a child in a room of the library?! at his age?), but speaking as a former nanny, the girl you hired is NOT dialed in and you should never give her a reference to work for anyone.

Next time, hire an experienced (like older, experienced) nanny who has a background in working with kids,esp. those with sensory issues, or a younger someone who is willing to educate themselves and read up on ways to help/recognize self-soothing behaviors, etc.. Ask her specifically about "how would you handle X " regarding discipline. Kids should mind adults, and you need to make sure to back up the rules (I'm not saying you aren't, by the way), however, nannies should be authoritative enough that they aren't 'getting into it' with little ones. There are many styles of discipline/techniques which wouldn't have escalated these situations.

And know yourself--if you do have discipline issues, get some help, otherwise no nanny is going to survive in a home where there's chaos and the parents don't have her back. But if all those things are in place, then good luck on the next one.

Do not give her a 2 week notice. That just gives your son another 2 weeks of not being appropriately cared for. I would've told her to not come back at the time of the library incident. Whether or not you pay her for two weeks would depend on your contract with her. What does it say? If you didn't make a contract then you don't have to pay her.

I suggest that you find a nanny who has credentials which show successful experience managing children. Sounds like you hired this one without checking references or knowing her skills. Instead of telling her what you expect ask her how she would handle certain situations for example. Then discuss with her your son's needs and your expectations.

This nanny sounds more like a babysitter. I suggest that to be called a nanny one has to have some specific training and credentials. A nanny is a trained professional person. If someone calls themselves a nanny without having had specific training in child development and discipline I would question their abilities.

Sorry, she is not doing a good job. He is endangered by being in her presence. I would tell her that either we turned her in to child welfare or she leaves the property right now and not use us for a reference in the future.

She is not doing a great job where you just have to let her go for financial reasons or something like that, your child is becoming one of the kids off Nanny McPhee or some movie like that. You don't want her around your child at all, she needs to find a note on the door that she's terminated.

Leaving the craft room while he's in there is grounds for immediate termination in my book without compensation... But I would pay her for as many days as you can afford even if it's just one or two. I don't think 2 weeks is necessary here though. I have a fair amount of experience with nannies too btw. This is absurd.

Do not let her into your house, or alone with your children. She has demonstrated neglect and irresponsibility, and she presents a danger to your son. She certainly doesn't deserve any compensation, after you had to clean up a "hazardous spill" in your daughter's crib!

Your son sounds a bit out of control, how old is this nanny?

What can she do for discipline? I think you may have issue's no matter who you pick.

I would give two weeks notice.

I would let her go. DH fired his au pair when he found out that her version of walking a 7 yr old to school was walking near her, not directing her, not holding her hand, and letting her run through a busy parking lot. We also found that she let SD eat her dino egg oatmeal in the livingroom and SD would eat the eggs and hide the oatmeal packet in the couch.

What's in your contract? If it's required that you give her notice, then do so. If you can agree to payment in lieu of work, consider that, too. Your child is not safe with her. DH kind of bought out the au pair even though she didn't do everything she was supposed to (didn't actually sign up for college classes) just to be rid of her.

We later found out the au pair had a 6 yr old son back home that she wasn't raising b/c her family didn't feel she was responsible enough....

Maybe ask his school if they have anyone they know is looking for a PT job. You can also see if you and DH could maybe give her one week notice and one week trade days off or work PT from home. Explain to your bosses and see if they'll work with you.

Oh boy did your son figure her out quick! I had to laugh at the "growling". :)

I'd sit down and discuss with her that there is obviously a lack of authority with her and your son, and that you are willing to give her a week(s) notice, but that you're going to have to find someone else that will work better with his strong willed personality. I'd emphasize that you are not mad, that it was just a conflict of personalities, and that you cannot continue to be called home to "discipline". That is what you NEED - someone who can control him and keep him safe. (As far as her leaving the craft room at the library, I think she should've stayed with him. At least the first couple of times. He might have thought she was actually leaving the library and was scared!)

I'd also sit down with your son and have a very frank discussion that he is to treat all adults with respect, and that includes his nanny. He would also know that there would be severe consequences to any future behavior similar to those listed in your post.

Whomever you hire next, you need to sit down with them and make your expectations known. Then sit your son down with this person and tell him the same things. As long as all are on the same page, it should work out!

Good luck!

I would give her two weeks and let her know that it is because she is having difficulties establishing authority with your son. The next step, and bigger issue, is figuring out the variables outside the nanny that contribute to your son's behaviors. I understand that the nanny is having trouble laying down the law, but sounds like he was being a handful to say the least. Btw, I would have had him help clean up the mess he made.

For safety of your son, I would let her go at the same time that you tell her. Consider giving her a week's pay.

I'm assuming she was hired "at will" and can be fired as such. I would not let a nanny care for a four year old that was capable of leaving a small child/baby in a room full of strangers/out of her sight!!! She is a bad person-she left your child alone-she refuses to implement your parenting styles-and how does a child have access to nail polish remover?? I am nauseous just thinking about her disregard for your child and her "posing" as a nanny. Tell her to go to hell and stay away from children-I wouldn't trust her with a cat let alone a child.