Challenges at Bath Time

If you are considering trying showers out with your little one let me make a suggestion. My three year old wouldn't take showers for me but he would for his dad. I didn't understand it for a long time until I realized that by "playing in the rain" he didn't just mean the shower, he meant the way the shower head let the water out! His dad has a large flat round shower head that makes the water come out very soft like rain falling on your head. The lower pressure was less scary for him to have hit his face and head and combined with the fun terminology and word play made it fun for him and he loves showers now! Be aware that small children are often afraid of water in their face and if your shower is adjustable, the softer more beaded water if often less scary on their small little faces.

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i suggest taking a bath with her for a while... kids tend to love it when it's an experience they can share with you. plus it will help to keep it from becoming a perpetually traumatic experience. after a while, when she becomes comfortable with it again, you can say, "mommy doesn't have time to take one with you today, but i'll stay right here with you while you do it."

good luck!

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My son hates bathing. After hearing your child only bathes twice a week I can stop feeling bad for doing the same but for a different reason.

It's not abnormal for your child to cry about bathing. I can't even begin to fathom why she's doing it - but it happened the same way for my son. For my son it's mostly sensory. He HATES having his hair washed. I just power through it. I don't force bath time on him and I do reward him at the end for getting through it. I wash his hair with shampoo and water once a week and use a wash cloth the other 1-2 times he's in the tub.
He has gotten much better about it. He still freaks out a bit - but at the same time he's playing with the water running of his head. Kind of funny, actually.
I don't have any super advice - but mostly wanted you to know your child isn't the only one. My son is 5.5yrs. The last month and a half I've noticed he hasn't really been putting up a "fight" at all.

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Maybe you could ask her what is wrong. I don't know how much she talks, but she may be able to communicate with you and tell you why and it might be easy to fix.

Mine some times were easy and other times hard, If you nurse, I suggest that you get in the tub with her and nurse her and wash her at the same time, that worked for 2 of mine, and all of them did much better with me bathing with them than with them bathing alone with me getting wet and frusterated on the side of the tub.

I also have done showers with them and also sponge baths as well. Let her see you bathing and washing your hair and such and it will be easier.

You did not mention whether you are with her all of the time or if some one else cares for her too. Perhaps something happened when you were not there that scared her, maybe ask the person who cares for her if they know why she is scared.

I also have tried bubble bath which has helped @ times and just letting them be in the tub to play with the water but not making them wash at all for a while. Hope some of this may help.

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Would she like it if you bathed with her? My son always loved the bath, but dad always got in with him (the little plastic tubs for infants never worked for us, so it just kind of evolved from there). He will bath by himself, but really likes it when his dad gets in with him. You being with her in the water might make her feel more secure.

Our daughter recently got scared of the drain, so we covered it with a washcloth and only drain it when she's out and has all her toys out. Lots of toys and bubbles usually do the trick, and hang toys from the ceiling (we have butterflies) so she will look up to rinse her hair. It also helps her to look in the mirror while we give her mohawks and spike her hair really silly. She also is more likely to bathe if someone else is too, so daddy in swim trunks, mama, or baby goes in too, more fun!

Try taking a shower with her. My daughter was the same way! She still showers instead of the bath.

I just want to encourage you to keep being consistent with bathtime. Both of my girls have done the same thing and it became a power struggle. My oldest did it for 3 monthes and then one day she suggested the bath so you'll survive. But boy can they make you feel like such a bully. If at all possible buy some new bath toy and have a fun bath with no expectations. My husbad was the one who came up with that one. He also gave the bath. Which was a nice break for mom.

Hello A.,
You already have some good suggestions from other Moms.
I would add that whatever I am planning; I do a countdown. "bath time is in twenty minutes" and keep letting my girl know every five minutes how many more minutes to go.
That allows plenty of time for her to adjust to the next step.
Love and Light,
C.

Hi A.,

My "baby(she's 9 now <grin>)" was a little like that. When she was wround 3.5, she went from one day LOVING to get her hair washed and rinsed, to being terrified to lie down and do it like usual and I never figured out why. It took until she was 5 to lie down to rinse her hair again. In the meantime, I had to rinse with a washcloth--she had/has TONS of hair <groan>.

Does your baby get scared when she hears the water come on, or just right before she gets in?

You might try putting her in the tub when it's empty, and then turning the water on and letting her play in it while it runs(make sure she's FAR from the spiggot and that you start it slowly on warm so it's not too hot or cold when it first comes on), or letting her wear a swimming suit while she's bathing, until the phase *hopefully* wears off. Maybe in a swim suit, she'll see it more as swimming and not be so afraid. Just add pool toys and water games. Oh, and the crayons that they can draw on the sides of the tub with that wash off, soap that changes colors, any other fun distraction.

My only other suggestion--sponge baths.

Good luck! :o)

K. W.

My oldest, now ten, was terrified of going down the drain, and I couldn't convince her that she wasn't going to fit! So I bought her a magic bucket. (A bright blue dish basin) and I showed her it wouldn't fit down the drain. She sat in that, in the tub, and felt much more secure. We then moved on to the magic towel, and then finally one day, her fear was gone, and she was able to love bath time again.

Perhaps that might help. Good luck! A.

We faced similar problems with our daughter. A bathtime baby really helped! She was able to wash the baby while we washed her, and it helped to end whatever issues she was having. Now she's back to being a little mermaid again!

My youngest was the same way.. would scream at the word bath. Since she is obsessed with dora the explorer I went and bought her dora bubble bath and sticky no slip dora stars.. and of course bath crayons. It worked like a charm now I cant keep her out of the tub.

I don't have the same problem, but my friends who did started showering with their son and everything seems to be great now. While it wasn't a fear of water, he feels more secure because he is in the water with Mommy or Daddy.
My daughter, who is roughly the same age as yours, also loves to shower, she thinks its a special "big girl" activity. If I alternate bath and shower time, it seems to keep her happy.

One of my kiddo's starting hating bath's so we moved to shower.. not sure if you little one can stand or walk yet, he walked early, but maybe that would help.. or they would like it better...

my other child cries though most of a bath, hates the shower even more, but even tho he cries and screams and stuff still has to be clean... he just hates not to be playing... so we bought a bubble blower for the bath tub, he LOVES it and now he only cries when we wash his hair... so maybe some new toys that are ONLY for the bathtub might help... best of luck

Hi A.! I have a 20 month old daughter who did the same thing at around 16-17 months. She would scream and say no when it was bath time.. we tried new toys and new approaches, and got so frusterated we put her in, washed her up and took her out. It started to change when I offered to have her take a shower with mommy which she loves and we now do once a week. But only once a week, because we still want her to take her bath as part of a going to bed routine. I'm sure it's just a phase. I totally understand.. this happened when my husband was away on business and I had to get crafty!
Good luck!
L.

My twins went through this phase around the same time. I would fill the tub up and get in with them this helped calm them down and made bath time fun again. Then slowly I would just put them in the tub with out me in it. I would make sure to only put in about 4 in of water and slowly added more each bath I would also pull them out first dry them off then take them out of the bathroom before I would drain the bath. I think they were afraid they would go down with the water and this helped calm them down and now they will drain the tub before they get out. The fear lasted about 6 months till I switched over to this method then it only took a few months and they were doing great.
Good Luck

Maybe she gets cold. How much water do you put in the tub? I make sure to keep pouring warm water over my daughters back and shoulders when she is in the bath so that she keeps warm. I also warm her bath towel and cuddle her after her bath. She is 15 months old and just loves it! She does not like having lotions applied after though and will scream hysterically once I expose her skin to the air because she gets cold.

Hello A.,

My now 3 year old was/is the same way. She started out loving the water to hysterically crying. What's interesting, she loves seals/sharks and her favorite movies are Nemo and Ariel which are underwater. She too loves to play with her hands and dolly's in the sink. My sis in Cali has a pool and she enjoyed wading, but wouldn't go in. As hard as it is we have minimized it by buying a face shield and covering her face with a big towel to cover her eyes and that has minimized the crying. We talk about it afterwards and she tells us next time she won't cry...each time it has gotten a tad better.

My doctor recommended a private swimming pool over in Beaverton by Jesuit high school. Their niche is working with those who have a phobia with water. They will tell you if their ready or not for lessons. I have waited to put her in private lessons. I will only do private and will try around age 4/5.

As I am writing, I just had an idea for me so I will share. We used a potty book for our daughter and she went upon herself to look at pages before her nap when nobody was around. She trained late but went full board. No pull ups even at night. I am going to check and see if there is a book for our daughtaer.

As hard as it it JUST don't say much, but give encouragement each time. Good Luck! MP

When children are bathe every day,soap optional, they don't resist it, it is what is done. When they get bathe twice a week, they see: "I got away without bathing yesterday, why not today". I always bathe my children daily.

Oh my....your daughter and mine sound so much alike. Including the eczema! Anyhow, this is what we did...first we bought her a baby that can get in the water. I'd wash the baby first, then I'd put her in with her baby and let her play. Having the baby get in first seemed to really ease her fears...or whatever the problem was. She has eczema all over her tummy, knees and elbows. I give her an oatmeal bath once a week, we use no soap prodcuts and slather her in lotion 2 times a day. We use Baby Aveeno products on her as per her Peditrician and they have helped BIG TIME! I think that her crying at bath time started shortly after turning one...and they lasted for a few months...but it really helped once we got the baby to put in the water first.
It shouldn't last to long Mom....I think that it is a phase they go through.
Take care,
T. S.

I remember my son who is now 6 and loves bath time, he went through a phase of not liking bath time. I could not relate it to any specific thing and it seemed to be a short lived phase. So, hopefully it will be for you as well. I don't even remember what I did during the phase of being afraid, I think I just put him in the shower with me or my husband insted. Best of Luck, B. S.

Anna, I don't know how to make the bathtime easier, but did want to comment on the excema. I have two little girls with excema and have been to see a lot of doctors! The allergist told me that warm (not hot) baths actually moisturize the skin, whereas a hot bath or a shower will dry it. We finally got the excema under control by doing baths every night, and immediately after taking her out would pat her dry and apply cream to the dry patches, and all over really. My oldest daughter's excema used to be really horrible and now it's barely there. Just wanted to offer that up. I don't know how to make your little girl like the bath though. I'd think maybe take her shopping for bath toys and let her pick out some special things? Or maybe it's just the hair washing? My girls hate that too, so we only do it once a week right now.

Have you tried taking a shower with her instead? Sometimes my 18 month old doesn't want a bath but will happily go into the shower with me or my husband.

Well, I have the opposite problem. My boys cry when they have to get out of the tub. But here are some ideas that I came up with. Let her wear her swim suit in the tub, it's a pool party! Try some bath paints or crayons for her to play with. Try blowing bubbles for her. Maybe put her in a dry tub with 1 or 2 buckets of water and wash her like a sponge bath. Hopefully this helps.
GOOD LUCK!

At 16 mos. my youngest went from loving baths to screaming every time I said the word, so I started bathing her with her older sister (she is 4 years older) or myself and now that she is 22 mos. she loves baths again and takes them by herself no problem.

Hi A.,
I have a 16 month old daughter. Alyssa has always been so easy-going and happy, and lately she's having some unusual fits. It's a battle to get her into her car seat, or high chair, etc. Up until now, these things haven't been an issue. I've started to think that maybe it's just a new stage of her development and that she's learning to use her will and stubbornness as a way of testing us and of pushing her limits. I wonder if it could be the same thing with your daughter. I suggest just try to have patience and maybe make some slight changes with some of the other suggestions so bathtime seems new and fun again. Good luck!
~J.

In my daughter's co-op preschool program they actually warned us about this fear. It's very normal. You daughter is just now becoming aware of the world around her and the fact that you and her are NOT one person and that there are things in the world to be afraid of. One of those scary things is the bath tub. "Can that big drain suck me in?" "That big spout of water is noisy!" etc... You've gotten some great advice, particularly about "shared tubby time", but I didn't notice anything about possibly trying some bubble bath (I know, hard to find one that will work with the eczema. I've had it my whole life too, seems like different things work for different people.) or even those bathtub dyes. My kids loved picking the colors and watching the pellets dissolve and as they got older we got to talk about blending colors to make new colors. Other tubby toys might be an incentive as well. I usually allowed about 1/2-hour of play before the fastest scrubbing I could get away with. Also, I found it best at about this age to start telling my kids either while we snuggled in bed the night before or at breakfast, all the things we were going to do that day, and then give them plenty of warning before we were going to make a trasition -- from home to super market, from play time to dinner and/or bath, or even changes in expectations for a segment of time at home -- it really helped my daughter, although not as much my son. Good luck!

How long does it last? Well I have 3 kids, and with my first, it lasted about 2 months at least. She just up and started screaming one day and it was a long 8 weeks. With my 2nd - a son, he was fine. With my 3rd - a son, it started with him and it last for 4 weeks or so. I don't believe its a fear of water, I'm not sure how or why. With my daughter I let her help pick out some new bath toys and bubbles, and I brought the bubble wand in the tub. Then I got in with her and she thought that was grand, but she still wouldn't get in with me! So I just had to let it ride out it's course. I didn't even bother with tricks with the boys... Eventually they grown out of all these little moments. She's 8 now, I have a 5 yr old and my youngest is 36 months. He's had two episodes of this...stay strong mom. Eventually she'll be begging for more bathtime!

my daughter did that exact same thing. She is now three and loves baths once again, of course with the exception of washing her hair. good luck

I know you've gotten tons of ideas so I'll try to keep what I did short and to the point. Same story with loving then hating showers/baths. These are the things we did, eventually, that slowly stepped her into enjoying and being able to take a bath and shower by herself.
Things to get:
-Doll that she can shower, bathe, shampoo hair, etc.
-Cup for her a bigger cup or bowl for you (to pour water over her hair and that she can pour water over her dolls hair)
-A detachable shower head that has the hose attachment. (You can bring the shower head down to her level and let her play with it. We would have her hold it when it was time to rinse off and eventually had her putting the shower head over her own hair to rinse off.
-Teach her how to hold her breath, keep her eyes closed, and how to wipe water out of her eyes. (This was a huge help to my daughter At first we would wipe the water out of her eyes for her and then we taught her to do it herself.)
1. Play with her when teaching her how to hold her breath. This will help keep her calm when water is going over her head because she'll be focusing on something else. Keep it short and managable for her.
2. We started with the cups over the head which is short, quick, and easy for her. Then we thought of the shower head. She did really well with that when we let her play with it and have control over it. (It's mostly about letting them have more and more control over situations that scare them)
3. Eventually we were able to get her to take a regular bath and shower on her own. I still monitor her and try to make sure she knows how to wash and rinse herself properly. (She just turned 5)
4. Issues will come up on things that they're suddenly scared of that they weren't scared of before. The key is to listen and then work on dispelling their fear. Never assume you know what is scaring them. Once when she was going to take a bath with her friend her friend said they were going to fill the tub all the way up. Well they have doors on the bath so she thought that he ment to the top of the doors. My husband didn't understand what her problem was and was saying that it was okay (obviously not to her). I had to take her in there to have her show me how high she thought it was going to go. Then I explained about the hole in the bathtub that won't let it get that high (I know you can still overflow a tub but that was all she needed to hear to let her realize that it was okay).
Oh and make sure that your child knows what it means to wait a minute. That helped calm my daughter down many times when we couldn't get to wiping her eyes out right away or something else.
I realize your baby still can't verbally express herself well but if you get her used to amounts of time you will be gone, how long it will be until..., etc she may not be able to express it herself but she will understand what it means and that will alleviate a lot of stess and frustration for both parents and child.
Sorry this was much longer than intended. I do hope the info helps though!

I would just take her in the shower with you. She will see you scrub yourself and then scrub her. I use to do that all the time just out of convenience. This will sound silly but my dog hated baths and my son would take her in the shower. It was much easier.

Good luck
C.

What if she went in the shower with you or your husband, just long enough to wash her up, then the other parent is ready with a towel to take her out?

our son did the same... he hated being laid back to have his hair washed... we'd have him look up and then rinse....my hubby also made a game out of it.. he does great now.
good luck

Have you tried giving her some little bath toys in the tub? I used to get my son distracted with some little plastic fish, boats, or something. Good luck!

My 3 1/2 year old daughter has gone through several phases where she absolutely did not want to take a bath. All I can say is that each of them were phases that ended. Sometimes we figured out why and sometimes we didn't.

I will say this. My daughter hates the sensation of water on her face. Even though we've never used anything but tear free shampoo and soap, she is very worried about getting soap or bubbles in her eyes.

My son was the same way, closer to 20 months though i think, We found some color changing tablet to put in and that got him to the point where he would be ok to stand in the tub and just yesterday (hes about 26 months) he finally sat down in it. I think this is a common stage for some kids. Good luck.

Hi....try buying one of the many styles of bathing tubs that can go in the tub to make it a fun time for her...or some great summer swimming toys...water wings...floating rings and such...I also always let my boys go to the "plastic drawer" in the kitchen and pick out some great things to play with in the tub...now even my 6 year old grandson loves to go to that drawer and find "kewl space utencils" to have at bath time...we have a short bath time and a long bath and once they realize the difference...it makes bathtime a special event. Also, as a massage therapist...I would put a product in the water that will moisturize her skin and keep ezema under control...which also could be caused from something she is eating...have you had a natural allergy testing done? we use a form of allergy testing in our office called N.A.E.T. used nothing invasive and works without using any needles or medications...you may wan to try it. Blessings, D. Berry ###-###-####

Hi
At least 2 of my 4 kids went through a phase like you are discribing. They loved baths and then went terrified or at least that is how they acted. They were between 12-18 mon. It lasted a few months / I cannot remember exactly but know they were over it by about 18 months. I actually started giving them showers at the same time I did/with me. I would let them touch the water and learn what it was about. I would let them play in the water and see what it could do when they touched. I also talked to them and made it a game. Then I would let them play on the floor of the shower with their toys while I finished up myself so they got the feeling and sense that it was no big deal. We never encouraged or fed their fear or concerns but instead talked it out with them. Now they run to the tub even when we just discuss baths. Lots of fun with bath toys bubbles crayons foaming body wash etc.

My daughter was the same way and so I just started taking her in the shower with me. She thought we were dancing in the rain and we made a game of it. Now she is 5 and still likes showers better than baths!