My Son - Cicero,IL

Updated on October 14, 2006
E.R. asks from Cicero, IL
5 answers

Hi Moms,

I want to thank the entire special mom?s that responded and is still responding to my "DELEMA" with my son and his school. I had three long talks with him yesterday and I did asked him all the questions about his teacher his school and the students. He is very happy with his teacher he told me that he does feel like she likes him and he feels safe in that school.

He is a very difficult person to get things out of him he is a shy boy and like me when there?s a problem he try's to ignore it. I asked him if he was happy with his family at home and (I was in shocked) when he looked down and very quietly said no he did hesitate to say that one word. So I sat with him again and asked him please let me know if there is anything that I can help you with, is there a problem that you might want to talk about please I need to know. He said no Mom there is nothing wrong no Mom there is anything wrong that?s all he kept on repeating. I think that at this point I am going to take this to a consular. Maybe he will feel more comfortable to speak to them (I hate it that my son does not have trust in me). Or maybe is just me thinking all of these crazy non sense. But I am going to keep on giving him all of my attention maybe that will make him feel more comfortable in speaking to me. He is a special Boy he loves caring and sweet he still hugs me all the time and kisses me. I will let you ladies know what is happening thanks again for everything.

He wants to stay in that school and at his current classroom. What I do need is advice on a tutor near my home that is another thing the school does not provide extra help to those students that need it. So any recommendations will be very appreciated.

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So What Happened?

I am sorry for not letting all of you the outcome and results of my son. He was test for all of those disabilities that LAZY TEACHERS usually accused the kids of having. I am sorry that I am so negative but it’s been a tough school year for me and my son. The results show that he is an average student their is nothing wrong with him. He has nothing of those disabilities that the teacher had mentioned to me. I received his report card and the grades are all D's & F's, I also received his ISATS test and they show that he is an average student he did a little above on the Math. The only thing they said is that he might have an Anxiety Preformance problem, but I think it’s because of everything that he has been through this school year. He is depressed and there is something wrong with him I can see it know. Oprah said that being a parent is the hardest job in the world and I believe it. He is doing little behavior things at school that is making the teacher pick on him. It seems to me that she gave up on him. She is just so cold with him he has been very good in the class room and she still doesn’t give him a chance on volunteering on the class room, she waits for him right outside the bathroom when he comes out than he leaves the kids behind and goes in the classroom with him. That really bothers him allot, everything that the other kids tell her she believes not my son and I know for a fact that he is not a liar even if he is wrong he will say the truth. I still think that he is a good kid compare to allot of others that I know he is just having issues in the school that is just been hard to even open up to me. I am very depressed and I cry mostly every night I don’t want to loose him and his trust, I feel like I am. He is seeing a specialist at school and he likes going there he talks to me allot about that. The other problem is that he lives at home with me his sister and his stepfather (my husband) he does have a good and close relationship with his father. I think know that he is getting older is affecting him. He told me the other day that he wishes he had a time machine so he can take us back to when he was born so he can make me and his father work things out. That is when I first realize that he really does not agree with the situation at home. I am sorry that I am just going on & on about this I am really ready to make a change in my life and his. I need advice on what to due with him so he understands the situation that I am never going to be able to go back with his Father that he needs to accept us like we are now. Also on what to due with his school I really feel like stop taking him to school the principal is just a big???? And I feel like she does not like's my son. There has been allot of different problems that he has had that makes me be alive this. This is why I am looking for another school for him it does not matter if I have to get a second job to pay for it. Please feel free to call me at ###-###-#### or email me at ____@____.com or respond to this email and I will review it on Monday.

More Answers

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C.M.

answers from Chicago on

I agree with the other mom. My heart broke in 2 good luck mom and I wish you and your family the best.

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M.E.

answers from Chicago on

Hi E., I just wanted you to know that my heart went out to you when I read your note. I hope that the counselor is able to help your son. Best wishes!

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A.S.

answers from Chicago on

Hi, E..
I think you are doing a great job parenting your son. It sounds like he has a very difficult teacher. I agree not to rush him to a doctor. When you find a tutor and a counselor, everything should be better. They will know more than his teacher does. Your boy seems special. Keep talking to him.
Amy

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R.

answers from Chicago on

Your son DOES trust you. As moms we are so h*** o* ourselves. I'm a school social worker and I know both as a professional and a mom what it's like. I hear from moms all the time who feel badly that their own child would rather talk to someone else than mom or dad. It's heartbreaking! But the truth is that kids (especially Juan's age) don't want to hurt the people they love the most. It isn't really a matter of trust at all. Without really knowing him it's hard to say for sure, but one thing that is certain is that he has a very loving mom.

Good luck finding a tutor and be sure to consult the school social worker first. Some teachers rush to judgement on "behavior issues". Heck, my own daughter has some "behavior issues" too. Don't they all have problems to some degree??? That is what makes every child unique. However, deal with this with an open mind. Take one step at a time and do not rush in to the doctor at this point. True behavior problems have to be present for a prolonged period of time AND have to be seen in multiple settings (i.e. at recess, in class, on the weekends, etc).

Good luck!!!

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R.P.

answers from Chicago on

I just responded to your last post, and my heart is breaking for you! I wish that I knew of tutors or homework help in that area. You sound like you are doing a WONDERFUL job with your son...talking with him and trying to do all that you can do for him. How awesome! I can't say that my kids will tell me everything that is going on in their lives or in their heads, so don't feel alone in that aspect. Hang in there!

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