1St Grader Daydreams in Class Instead of Doing Work

Updated on August 28, 2010
L.G. asks from Frankfort, IL
27 answers

I am hoping some of you can give me some tips on how to get my 6 year old 1st grader to concentrate on doing his work at school. His teacher sent home a note today letting me know that he had 30 minutes for a specific assignment and all he wrote down was "August". One word, that's it! However, he was able to tell me all of the kids who had a time out today and which teachers teach which grades. I'm sure he could have told me more "gossip", but I stopped him. He brings home 3-4 extra homework assignments every day because he does not finish them in class. I asked a few of the other moms today if their kids were coming home with the same amount of homework, and the answers were "NO" (maybe one extra page). Does anyone have any tips/suggestions on how I can get my son to concentrate on the task at hand and to stop daydreaming! He spends anywhere from 1 1/2 to 2 hours a night doing this extra homework and I know if it does not change, it is going to start affecting family life at home. I need to do something now before this problem snowballs. I appreciate any help you can suggest! Thank You...L.

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So What Happened?

I want to thank everyone for all of the wonderful advice. We have met with my son's teacher and have a plan in place. At this point, she truly believes that he is just daydreaming and writing slowly and that it does not involve any other learning issues or diseases. So, we are going to get his eyes checked to eliminate any sight issues. I am going to start using a timer at home when he does his homework and challenge him to "beat the clock". She is going to occasionally remind him to keep up with the class (he eventually needs to be able to do this on his own). We are also going to have him practice copying and printing words to get him back into the swing of writing. And we have instilled a reward system with him at home (for evey day that he comes home with only the normal homework, he get's a quarter). So far, he has earned .50 cents. I have also told my son that if he ever has any problems understanding the directions or can't read a word, etc., that he is to raise his hand and ask for help. We are going to give this plan a few weeks and then reevaluate the situation at that time. Thanks again to all of you that responded to my request.

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S.K.

answers from Chicago on

I was wondering if he's getting enough sleep at night? I would also ask him if something is going on in the classroom. He should be able to tell you. You should also tell him how important it is that he try to finish in school so he will have time to have playdates, and have more freetime at night. He must be able to concentrate if kindergarten went ok. Good luck.

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J.A.

answers from Rockford on

You might want to chat with the teacher to find out why he isn't getting the work done, why he is so distracted. Is there another child nearby that is gaining his attention (a buddy)? Could it be that he's having trouble seeing or hearing what is going on? Could a change of seats help? Perhaps the teacher might have some suggestions, too.

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K.C.

answers from Chicago on

Hi Lynetee, He might still be in that summer mood, but I believe that it is also the teachers responsiblity to try to help him get out of it. No she doesnt need to spend her entire time just on him, but if she sees him day dreaming she can like say his name or something and make him start doing his work or something so he isnt getting behind. This is her job as a teacher. I would give her a call and talk with her or something. With him being 6 and having to spend that much time on homework everyday will take its toll and he will lose interest. Good Luck

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N.A.

answers from Chicago on

L..

I feel like I should give you some feedback on this question. Let me start this by saying that I am a school psychologist and administrator and work in a K-5 setting. First off, this is only the first week or two of school correct. Students should really be focusing on getting to know classroom routines, teachers, environments, and getting used to a full day. These are all huge changes. Secondly, to give first graders open ended 30 minutes to write is a bit drastic. I would recommend this....ask your son's teacher to provide you a bit more information and him a bit more structure to these types of activities. Some easy recommendations may be using a file folder and cutting it into thirds. Close two of the "doors" and have him only view and work on the items in the first. Other suggestions include using post it notes or folding his papers so that there is not so much work on the page. Have him finish what is shown and then check in with an adult.

For some kids, timers are golden. Set the time for 5 minutes, give him a goal and walk away. Check back at the end of five minutes. He could at that time maybe earn a break if needed - short do 5 jumping jacks - or reset the timer and set another goal.

Think about your homework time. Is this some of the only time he gets to spend with you or your husband. He is used to being with you and his little brother lots. If it is some of the only time with you, maybe build in some play time with just you and him before homework or use that as a reward for finishing. Quicker he finishes the more time.

Really, I would be happy to speak with you more on what/how to talk to the teacher as well as homework strategies. Please e-mail me directly at ____@____.com

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E.P.

answers from Chicago on

It's a new school year and you'll be setting homework routines. You'll figure out if he does best doing his homework when he gets home from school or in the evening. I would probably give the teacher a quick call just to find out how much time he has to finish homework in school and how he is handling that time. Most teachers do not want to see a child spending THAT much time on homework after school so I'm sure his teacher would like to hear from you. My 10 year old son does best doing his homework (with a snack) immediately after school, then he can blast out the door and play with his friends. My daughter can handle doing her homework after dinner so she can hang out after school. Is your son motivated by that kind of reward???? A lot of kids daydream in class; this is normal. You just want to make sure that it doesn't interfere with his schoolwork. Also, is he doing 1 1/2 - 2 hours of homework with YOU??? It can also be a bit manipulative on his part...he gets MOM all to himself! My kids sometimes do that to me, especially during a project time. It becomes our time together. It's good to get the school year off to a good start - timers are good. When I see my kids aren't staying on task, I still set them. Good luck!

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L.W.

answers from Chicago on

I would talk to the teacher and see whats going on in the classroom. Ask her to keep an eye on your child and see if he's being distracted by others and switch seats closer to the teacher (no distractions in front of him). If he's now in 1st grade, there's a big difference in curriculum from kindergarten so he may need some adjustment time!

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E.S.

answers from Chicago on

I am a former special ed. teacher and I too think he should be evaluated, but only after you talk with the teacher. I too agree with the fact that 30 mins. is too long in the begining of the yr. espercially for a 6 yo. Talking with the teacher about possibly moving him to another part of the room may help. Maybe a partition of somesort would help him. As for some of the other posts saying it is all the teachers responsibility....um NO! Teachers need as much support from home as they can get. It is not easy trying to appease 20-25 little kids at once. I would talk with both child and teacher and try new things, if later this is not working try the evaluation, just to see if he needs some pull out time or something. The only negative I see to the timer is he will rush through and not understand what he is doing. I tutor a 2nd grader and an 8th grader, both with focus issues and rushing is a part of their game. I work with them to help them slow down and understand and enjoy the work they do. Maybe something like an outside tutor would help. Sometimes we can not do it all ourselves. Look in your local area. I happen to know the families I tutor for from church. They knew I was a former teacher, now SAHM, and asked if I would help. It has been great for them, less frustration, and hey a little extra income my way. Just a thought.

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M.D.

answers from Chicago on

The ideas given here are great! I think one lady had a point asobut spending time with mom while doing his homework. If you figure out that is what it is then maybe set up a reward system for him that the teacher can participate in as well. For instance, if he gets most of his work done in school during work time then he can earn a marble or ticket or even a stamp. After so many stamps then maybe he could earn a fun day out with mom on the weekend.

Also, watch and see what he does at home during homework time. Does he get distracted at home as well? Is that why it takes up to 2 hours to do his work? At such a young age I can see why doing that wmuch work would be difficult to complete.

The key is figuring out what he is willing to work for. Then use that to motivate hime to complete his work.

Is your ultimate goal for him to complete it in class?
Maybe it is to just complete his work the best he can.
It could be to pay attention and not daydream. You and his teacher can figure out what it is exaclty that you would like to modify. You could also check into a tutor for him to help with his homework or paying attention.

Good luck! My son is beginning preschool this year and I am excited to see how he does. I taught for six years before staying at home with my children.

Usually these things are a team effort between the teacher and parent.

M.

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N.W.

answers from Chicago on

There is nothing wrong with your child other than the fact that he is six.

I'm a teacher and I've never met a six-year old that works very well by themselves in first grade. It's great if they can sit still for 30 minutes, say nothing about work!

Most kids who don't understand something in the lesson or the directions will not do the work. Every kid is different, some will goof off which attracts the attention of the teacher and they get help. Other kids will ask questions, which also attracts the attention of the teacher. Sounds like your son just sits quietly which does NOT attract the attention of the teacher and so he does not receive the help he needs.

Since first graders are just learning how to read, he may have words that he doesn't understand which will stop him cold. If the directions say "circle the triangle" and you don't know what "circle" means then you can't do the work.

The teacher may give verbal directions and he doesn't understand them but doesn't know to ask.

When you sit with him, pay attention to the details he doesn't get, which will give you clues to where he's messing up. I've taught kids who are really good at copying what you do but not reading and comprehending. To go back to the example you may say "circle the triangles" and he doesn't know what circle means. But then you give an example and he can do it, but doesn't connect that "circle" means to draw a line around-he just looks at the picture. So he follows your example, but then faced with the directions "circle the triangle" again, he still can't do it.

He just needs someone to help him figure out what he doesn't understand, and also the motivation to ask questions. Perhaps you can reward him for every question he asks with m&ms or something!

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W.P.

answers from Chicago on

Lots of good info here. I agree with the teacher who says don't worry so much. I found that my son had a hard time with the amount of actual writing he had to do early on (1st grade). He found the physical task of writing very tiring or annoying and would write these very short answers. But if you talked to him he could go on and on about his "answer". Remember how young they are. I think the system is pushing them to do too much writing too early myself and it burns them out. So I'm not sure I would assume that he is "daydreaming". Talk to his teacher for sure and get feedback and suggestions from her. Be patient with him and try to understand his learning style. He may be going through quite an adjustment right now.
Also one Mom suggested spending time with him during homework and I just remembered I used to do that off and on in first and second grade; I think it helped him focus and not feel all alone with his work etc. It doesn't mean you are doing any work for him, maybe you are reading and being quiet with him while he works. You won't have to do it forever.

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M.B.

answers from Chicago on

I would suggest using a rewards system to help your son stay on task at school. Use a stickers chart where your son receives a sticker each day he does not bring home extra work and have a reward that you both have decided on together for when he finishes a row of the chart. Use plenty of praise on the days he doesn't bring home extra work, or only brings home a small amount of extra work. Also, perhaps talking with the teacher and seeing if she has some ideas or if she can spend a little extra time helping your son stay on task. Come up with a nonverbal cue your teacher can use if she sees your son daydreaming, such as a hand on the shoulder. Your son will not be embarrassed and will be reminded to continue working. If it is allowed sometimes a stopwatch or timer can help keep a student on task. They sell timers that show a red area for how much time is left instead of dinging. The smaller the red area, the less time is left. The teacher can start the timer for your son and he can try and beat the timer.

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M.F.

answers from Chicago on

I am a former 1st grade teacher and I want to tell you that you shouldn't worry at all. First of all, it is the very beginning of the year. At the begining of first grade, many students are still trying to figure out how to get their thoughts onto a piece of paper. I also can't believe that the teacher gave the students 30 minutes to work. That is WAY too long for the beginning of the year for a 6 year old. When children come off summer vacation, many of them regress from where they were at the end of the previous year (sometimes as much as 3-6 months of academic ability). They catch up quickly when they get back into the school routine.

Definitely speak with the teacher as well as your son to see if there is something distracting him when he is at school. Also, ask your son if something is bothering him at school. Make sure to observe his abilities to complete the homework at home...does he do it correctly, does it take him a long time, etc. Often, parents are the gateway to figuring out what is going on in school. Try and get a good line of communication going between your child's teacher and yourself. That is the most important thing to ensuring a successful year for your child. Feel free to ask me more questions if you need more help! Hope what I wrote was helpful! Have a great year!
M.

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A.P.

answers from Chicago on

I don't know if the teacher would allow it, but at home for sure you can try setting a timer and having him finish his work before the bell rings. Works great on my daughter...just the little extra challenge of a race may work...?

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J.W.

answers from Chicago on

As loath as I am to jump on the ADD bandwagon, I suggest you look into it. Start with your pediatrician and go from there. If your son does have attention deficit disorder, there are plenty of ways to treat it without meds if you're leery. Plus, you'll have a leg on which to stand if he needs modifications in his learning environment. You definitely want to nip this in the bud as early as you can.

Regardless of whether he has ADD, there are some strong and helpful organizational techniques you can utilize. Some of those mentioned here are excellent for ADD-like symptoms/behavior.

Good luck!

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S.E.

answers from Chicago on

You may want to consider homeschooling your son. It is a great experience and there is lots of homeschool co-ops that can help you get started.

S.

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K.K.

answers from Chicago on

Let me second the idea of a "timer." Your son might be overwhelmed by the amount of work he has to accomplish. Try folding the paper (or covering it with a blank sheet of paper) so that only a little of the work is visible. Figure out a reasonable amount of time to complete the "portion" and set the timer. Once that section is done, give him a short "break." In the classroom this could be a drink at the drinking fountain, a trip to the pencil sharpener, a walk to the teacher's desk to get praise on the work completed, etc. At home it could be a small snack, a few minutes playing ball with the dog, etc. Nothing that gets him too excited or off task. As he builds his attention span, increase the size of the "portions." Hope this helps!

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S.F.

answers from Chicago on

I would watch him at home while he's doing his homework and see if he zones out then too. Do you have to repeat yourself to him all the time? My son is ADHD and we didn't have it diagnosed until 2nd grade. He's much better now. Also my daughter was diagnosed in 3rd grade as ADD. There was now way I was going to beleive it but after having her tested and finding out the "symptoms" they were correct. She was the same way as your son. She would never get her work complete in class and it took forever to do it at home. It was always a struggle. One of the biggest clues with her was while she was supposed to be doing her work, she'd have to go to the bathroom, get a drink of water, sharpen her pencil, watch someone else sharpen thier pencil, rearange her desk and papers ect...
I can say with my daughter she was only on them for a few years. She wanted to go off of them and knew that she would need to rearange her study habits to accomdate. She's doing great!
Good luck, and I know what you are going thru.

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L.G.

answers from Chicago on

Hi L.,
How many hours of sleep is your son getting? He may daydream because he is bored or tired in class. I know a lot of kids aren't interested in everything the teacher does. Maybe finding out where his seat is positioned in the classroom, he made need to be away from a certain kid or closer to the teacher. Being closer to the teacher is not a bad thing because she might be able to motivate him to stay on task. Also ask the teacher about a time on task log. I'm not sure if they use them in 1st grade but it basically is a time log of how often the child stayed on task. Have a talk with him and explain that it is important to stay focused and maybe ask him what he thinks about during class. I am a new mom as well but I am fairly young and I remember how boring school could be sometime. Hang in there.
L.

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E.H.

answers from Chicago on

Doesn't sound like daydreaming. Call your school counselor to request an appt.

Sounds more like you need to look more into things.

Good luck!

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E.D.

answers from Chicago on

I love that you're so concerned and please keep trying and do all the suggestions you can. But honestly I think this is more the teacher's problem to solve than yours don't you? I mean, she's the one in the classroom....

Maybe give her some special insight into your kid (what makes him tick) and work with her to solve this. There's no way this is yours to take on, or something you should feel is a deficit in your kid.

It will work itself out, clearly you have his best interest at heart.

Good luck!

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H.K.

answers from Chicago on

Isn't that something the Teacher should be able to deal with in the classroom??? It is the same thing as having the teacher deal with a "home" issue like cleaning your room.....my kids are 28 & 33 ....Also, he is learning the consequences is doing the work later....Also, a half hour seems like too long of a time for a first grader to be busy.....

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M.E.

answers from Bloomington on

Hi L.,
I haven't taken the time to read any of the other responses. I feel your pain. One of our sons was diagnosed with mild autism a few years ago. He is very bright but has always been a daydreamer. To the extent that different teachers suggested he might have ADD, I should have him tested for ADD, or I even had one that told me I should have him put on medicine. I know what ADD is and have worked with children with ADD. I knew that was not his issue. At one point, in the third grade he came home and talked to us about how he is different than other children. So, we then took him to a developmental pediatrician. That's when he was diagnosed with the mild autism. That is also when we began really working with him and his issue with day dreaming. We did work out a little reward system with him but mostly I gave him pep talks every morning about the way in which we expected him to behave for his teacher every day. I would present scenarios and ask him what he would do in those situations. I would daily encourage him to pay attention and stay on task until he got his things done. I really didn't think it would do much. But, his teacher saw improvement. There was such a difference that, on the days that I forgot or didn't have time for our little pep talk, they usually just took 2-5 minutes, he didn't perform as well for the teacher. Also, he had, probably still has, a habit of staring out the window. One teacher really had an issue with that. I told his teacher that year to check and see if he was still listening even when he was staring out the window. To her amazement, not only did he hear her questions, he answered them correctly. Our son is an intelligent, very curious, and creative child. Talking with him on a daily basis did help, but he is in the sixth grade now and he does still daydream. I think, until he is an adult, it is something he will have to work on. It is much harder for my husband than for me. You see, I was a daydreamer as a child, so I get it. I was usually just really bored with school but I liked the social aspects of it. When I grew up and went to college I carried a 4.0 on a 4 point scale and loved it. In college you have so much more freedom and control over your education. For your son, there is a chance this is just something he might grow out of, or something that will be an issue for awhile. This was a long answer to just tell you that daily pep talks helped some for our day dreaming son. Good luck with helping him.
M. SAHM of 6, 9 months - 13 years.

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L.S.

answers from Chicago on

I remember being a daydreamer myself and we tend to forget that not everyone learns in the same way - some are visual, some tactile some kinesthetic. I am a dancer/yoga teacher now and always responded to physical stimulation and visual examples. It is hard in most educational systems to have this. Also, we live in a world that does NOT encourage daydreaming and imagination. Let your son know this is OK and that there is also some chores and work to be done as well sometimes.

I agree to check in with the teacher - but also check in with your son - what does he like the most? How does he learn?

We overlook nutrition as well - is he eating well? Does he have too much sugar and then is tired or spacing out afterwards?

Anyway - some different thoughts to consider....

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H.S.

answers from Peoria on

First, where there any problems with your child in kindergarten? Did he do his school work in class or was he bringing it home to do? Next,you and your husband need to meet with his first grade teacher and get the specifics about how he is performing in school, his relationship with his fellow classmates, and any other problems or successes. Then make an appointment with your pediatrician and you and your husband tell him what is going on. Take your child with you so the doctor can talk with him. The doctor will then decide what needs to be done next. There could be one of a number of problems. I will list a few.
1. It could be that your son is just trying to get settled into doing school work after having the summer off so you might consider finding a tutor for him like a college student (This is a cheap untapped resource that I did when in college studying to be a teacher.)
2. Your son could be could be ADHD or if he is and is on medication now then he needs an his medicine adjusted or changed(This was my son now age 12.)
3. Your son may not be mature enough to keep his attention focused on the task at hand (This was sveral nephews and cousins. They were sent back to kindergarten and have done great in school. All have graduated from college).
REMEMBER. Do not jump to any of the conclusions I have listed. You and you husband need to meet with his teacher in person, not over the phone. Maybe even have his kindergarten teacher present if possible, so he/she can give insight into how your son performed in kindergarten. Then both of you and your son need to meet with the pediatricain(leave your younger son with a sitter, so your full attention will be with your son and his doctor.) The doctor will ask you son questions about school. Please remember not to answer for your son. He needs to answer the questions by himself. The doctor is trying to find out what your son is thinking and feeling. Then the doctor will decide talk it over with you on what to do next. The pediatrician is not only concerned about your son's physical health, bur also his mental health.

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S.W.

answers from Chicago on

Hi L.. Perhaps your son can not help it. It was discovered in kindergarten my son has- well so many things it it was difficult to point out what exactly but we had him tested for ADD, that was normal then his ears tested- normal. eyes tested twice and normal. Finally I took him to be elvautated at the Pediatric place and it turned out my son has vision issues as well as sensory integration issues. My sons vision was so far behind the pedicatric place recommend I take him to Dr. Sypherd in Algonauin. she was awesome and able to explain everything. anyway, Michael now wears correctional glasses, goes to therpay once a week and that has helped so much. Michael still has a hard time being focused- I took him in to be tested for processing delay which is inconclusive at his age. he can answer everything you ask but to put it on paper is so hard. He constantly needs direction and can not follow more than 1 direction at a time. I would suggest to have him tested. kids make excuses they dont know its a delay. they can not say I cant focus, I am lost. Good Luck. I know it is so hard.

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A.G.

answers from Chicago on

Please do not worry too much about this. It sounds like you need to get some more information from his teacher. There is no way a first grader should have that much homework a night. I am a teacher and it sounds like there are some things that the teacher could be trying in the classroom (if she isn't already but it doesn't sound like it). He may just need his seat moved or he may need a reward system of some kind to help keep him stay focused and on track. I would suggest meeting with his teacher so that you can both discuss what is going on. I would also encourage you to ask that someone else observe what your son is doing in class (like the school psychologist or social worker) so that you get a neutral observation of what is really happening in the classroom. Maybe he just isn't interested in what is going on and it may help if you tell the teacher some of the things that really catch his interest.
Also during this 30 minutes of writing time, did the teacher prompt him to continue writing and give him any ideas about what to write about? 30 minutes for one assignment in first grade must feel like an eternity for a little child. Attention spans just don't last that long in first grade. I hope you meet up with his teacher and come up with a positive solution to this problem. Best of Luck.

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L.E.

answers from San Antonio on

My Mom has been a teacher of grades 2nd to 5th for over 30 years with a double masters in Education and Child Psychology and is now a Curriculum writer. My son is a big daydreamer and is now in 1st grade, too. My Mom told me when she had a daydreamer in her class, she would place him/her next to a student who excelled in her classroom and if the student happened to catch the daydreamer looking off into the distance, he/she would lightly tap the daydreamer's shoulder and quietly say, "Pay attention." This helped tremendously and about two weeks later, the daydreamer would begin paying attention on his/her own. Hope this helps.

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