My Eight Month Old Cries Whenever I'm Gone and Now I Have to Go Back to Work.

Updated on July 01, 2008
A.A. asks from Santa Rosa, CA
6 answers

I have stayed home with my eight month old daughter pretty much the whole time she has been born. I did go back to work part time when she was only three months old, but it was in the evening so my husband took care of her and it was only for two months. Now I am starting my new job and my daughter has to go to go to a sitter. I have found a lovely women to watch her who has 30+ years experience, so no problem there. My dilemma is that my daughter cries hysterically whenever someone else is watching her. I have only a week to get her used to being with others. The sitter suggested that I have her around others without me as much as possible in the next week, but I thought I would check here for any additional ideas. Thanks in advance.

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J.D.

answers from Reno on

Awww, :(. It's downright heartbreaking, isn't it? I remember, when I left my son for the first few times, He cried, I got in my vehicle to leave and I cried...we were a mess! lol...

But as everyone has mentioned, she'll adjust in a healthy way. ;0) Great luck to you!!
~J.

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T.B.

answers from Sacramento on

HI A.,

It's the hardest thing going back to work or simply finding time to work...and not feel the guilt. However, it's time to realize that seperation is a healthy thing!

It's also a healthy response for her to cry when you're gone. You've been there every step of the way for her needs to playtime fun, and change is good.
I think we try so hard to feel guilty and let that consume us. If you're not ready to go back to work then try waiting to see if your mind will change any.
I wish you all the best in work, life, along with your daughter's transitioning. Hang in there-- it's hard but you are doing what is right, common, and best for your daughter.
Also, to take her away from family or people isn't realistic. She needs you up until that time you actually get in the car and drive to work. Instead look at it..have fun with your family make extra special moments leading until you head into work. That way she'll have positive memories of you. The week you start work--bring home something special to share with her to make it a happy move for the two of you.
I don't think she'll be crying for long. It'll be harder on you though so pack tissues and enjoy your time as an adult. Good Luck!
T.

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S.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

All of us mom's are put into this position if we don't have the grace of blessings to stay home. I have a really great at home business that is worth checking into and could help eliminate your time away from your little one all together. You could actually share the whole meaning and concept of it with others and I guarantee they will love it. Honestly that is how I grew my business I shared a Personal touch with others and they in turned wanted to do the same. Check out my website http://todaymyway.com/ click on my family banner & try it out at my expense.
Touch someones life unexpectedly and watch what a difference you made in their day. Being that you have to be out at work right now is the perfect time to get started. You can network while at work and show others a Great way to send Hallmark style cards that will come in the mail to their home within days! Not to mention you can create and send photo cards of your little one to family and friends while she grows.
Keep your chin up there is always a rainbow to everyday and a way to stay with your little one.

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K.F.

answers from Los Angeles on

I think the other mom's have already given you some great advice. I have a 15 month old, and she cries whenever I leave to go out alone. She usually stops within minutes though. I know 8 months is a tender age and she's just getting into the window of normal separation anxiety. She'll be fine - you'll be fine. I'm sure it's probably harder on you than on her. Good luck. And if you want to work from home, feel free to send me an email. I work from home now so I didn't have to deal with what you are now dealing with.

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A.S.

answers from Reno on

I feel for you A.. I too left my son only part time with a sitter at 3 months, and I felt awful. I went back to work full time when he as about 9 or 10 months. He cried and cried for the first few weeks I left him. I also put him in a daycare when I went to full time and not just a sitter. I would call the daycare for what I felt like was every hour on the dot. After about two or three weeks of working my son up to daycare each night, and trying to make it a fun thing he did great. We turned it into fun talk about going to school and what fun things he was going to do, and I would try and use some of the same things that the "school" used with him. We also worked together (daycare and I) to keep him on a regular schedule at home and at "school" He had his own blanket and cubbies there, and his own cups that he was familiar with. That was very important in his adaptation to the whole idea. He is now 2, and we recently have left daycare to stay home during the day with Daddy, but he was thriving and I agree with the other moms that the seperation was very healthy and very much needed. My son is now easier to understand in his words, and now knows how to approach other children and adults (with assurance from me). He is a more social butterfly than I feel he would have been before that experience. Good luck, and be patient and put your trust in your new sitter, that will make you feel much better!!! And keep all lines of communication open with the sitter to ensure a safe and healthy environment. Good luck again!!!

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M.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

It is normal for a child to cry when the mother leaves them. Most of the time once you have left and after a while they will stop. I have a daycare and I have a little boy that cries when his mom leaves. Usually he stops in about 5 minutes. He is fine the rest of the day. Now if your baby is not stopping you do need to socialize her. You don't neccessarily need to leave the house, but if you go to people's houses or people come over let everyone hold her and you leave the room. If she cries let the family or the person holding her try to calm her down. What we want to do as moms is run over when they start to cry. You will be surprised of how many people can calm a baby. there was a mom at the baseball field and she has a little girl that is 4 months. She will not let anyone hold her. The mom did not let her out of her hands. Well her son got hurt during the baseball game and she had to tend to him. The baby felt that the mother was not attentive to her and started to cry. the mom could not do both and was very stressed. I walked over and said give me your daughter. Now the mother knows me very well so she handed her over. the little girl screamed her heart out. I walked away from the mother and just held her and talked to her. It took a while but she settled down. Now at the baseball games she lets me hold her and she is fine.

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