My Baby Only Wants to Be Around Me

How does she respond when you go into another room? Does she cry?

Start playing a lot of peek a boo and ducking into another room, then playing peek a boo around the door.....

I agree with the others... the staff are trained to work with this, and most of the time, the crying stops shortly after you leave. Don't make a fuss... hand her over, and walk off..

Start doing this now... have other people (family members) watch her for 30 minutes so you can go out and take a walk. Don't make a bit fuss about "Mommy's coming back" ..... just hand her off and go..

When my granddaughter was about 6 months old, my daughter brought her over for us to watch for the evening... it had been at least 2 months since we had been around her... and yes, she did cry and fuss... but that's ok... I just held her most of the evening. She wouldn't go to my husband (at that point, she was really afraid of big men.... other grandpa was very gruff and she was afraid of him).

They moved in with us that weekend for 2 months.... it took time, but she did get used to my hubby.... he didn't push it, just took it slowly. Now she adores being with him.

It's normal, but frustrating.

There are a couple of ways to deal with this. One is to invite the sitter over and just have her stay in the room with you. Graduate to having the sitter hold your baby but facing out (toward you) while you entertain the baby - make funny faces, sing, use puppets, anything. Then walk around with the baby, with the sitter holding her, while you point at things out the window. Go outside with the stroller (weather permitting - ha ha, not so likely in Philadelphia right now) but you can go to the mall and get your baby used to seeing other sights and being distracted while hearing the sitter's voice. Then you veer off for a while and have the sitter keep going with the baby. Meet up after 5-10 minutes and have the sitter put the stroller toward you and "voilá - there's Mommy!" Then do it a few times where you walk away for a minute, then 5, then 10 - eventually the baby gets the idea that Mommy comes back.

The other way to do it is to let her cry - usually they don't scream for that long, and a professional sitter or day care person understands how to cope with this.

When you say you haven't been out because no one wants to deal with the crying, what do you mean? Have you tried it and you can't get those sitters to come back? Or have you been using relatives who don't have the patience or a sense of detachment where they can hear a baby cry and not take it personally? The key is to distract the baby, not to talk her out of missing her Mom. And are you not going out with the baby to expose her to other sights and sounds? Is it possible that your baby is used to the quiet of the home and is reacting to the stimulation of other settings and not specifically to your absence? That's another issue entirely. Start slowly - but get out of the house! You can go to a mall early, before the stores open when the mall itself is open for walkers and joggers - it's not super noisy or crowded, but there are people, sometimes some background music and maybe a fountain you can take her too. Otherwise just look in the windows - colors and shapes are important for a child to take in. It's essential that she get used to a stroller - and pretty soon she'll figure out that it doesn't much matter who's pushing the stroller when she can't see the caretaker anyway!

I was 37 when I had my son, and he was like this for a while. Sometimes when we're in our 30s, we think we're supposed to know more about this mothering stuff, but it's still brand new! And every kid is different, and goes through phases. I hired a mother's helper (a neighborhood kid) while I stayed home and did laundry or paid bills, just to get him used to me not being in the room all the time. Then I ventured out. If he cried, I couldn't hear him. But I had been out with him from the beginning so he got used to other sights/sounds.

she's only 6 months old. she doesn't understand that yes, you'll come back and she's certainly not old enough to dictate your schedule to you.
99.869% of 6 month olds cry when their mom leaves their view at some point. thank all the gods that most of us don't take that as an imperative from our babies never to leave their sides.
what do you mean you can't get anyone to babysit? whom have you tried? what rational adult thinks an infant might not cry?
why on earth do you think the staff of a professional daycare won't be equipped to handle a crying baby?
you can't get her used to being with other people if you never leave her. she's 6 months old. you can't rationalize the situation with her. i have little doubt that your baby is like pretty much all other babies- if you leave she'll wail for a few minutes, and then stop. heck, she'll probably wail again at some point.
and then she'll stop.
THAT'S how you get her used to being with other people.
you can't prepare a 6 month old for daycare, nor explain to her the hypothetical truth that when mom's not there, she's coming back. that's something she learns with time, and with growing older. you're acting as if your baby is another 37 year old.
don't have unrealistic expectations of your tiny, tiny baby.
khairete
S.

I agree that the way to get your child accustomed to other people is to have other people around. With a little advance investment of attention and money, you can help make this life transition a little gentler, and maybe avoid the tears altogether.

Get a sitter you like to come while you're home a few times. Have her/him interact with your baby while you're there. Keep it casual and relaxed – babies run of feelings, and if you are feeling anxious, she will probably feel that, too. Start leaving the room for longer and longer periods of time, giving the sitter a chance to solo with her. Playing peek-a-boo and gradually extending the hiding time is excellent, too, for helping to build her understanding that you'll always come back.

As others have said, those initial separations can be difficult for kids and moms, but sometimes it must happen. An experienced sitter or daycare will be prepared to comfort and distract, and few children cry for more than a few minutes. Good luck!

Get her used to you leaving and coming back, leaving and coming back. She has to learn that when you leave, you will always come back.

At the beginning, not even with a sitter. Just set her down in the living room, then go into the kitchen out of sight for 2 minutes, then come back in. Over and over until she doesn't freak out when you are out of sight.

And yes, if you go to a daycare, the staff will be prepared and trained for this.

When you tried a babysitter, did you actually leave and give it a chance? Because it is very common for babies at that age to cry when Mommy leaves. But if you actually leave, the crying usually stops after a few minutes.

Not sure there's anything you can do to prepare her. You might just have to take her to daycare and trust that the staff will engage her and comfort her and tend to her needs. It might take some time for her to get used to it, but she will. If you find a good, quality daycare center, it won't be long before she is comfortable and looks forward to seeing her friends each day.

It's never easy to see your baby cry, but her behavior is very age appropriate.

Object Permanence doesn't start until about 8months. When you leave, she thinks you have disappeared forever. My oldest cried every time we left him with anyone. Nothing helped except sometimes my mother could simply walk around the house and he would stop crying for a while when she entered a new room, because he would be looking for us lol. So we just decided not to leave her (our only babysitter at the time) with him any longer than about an hour until he was ready. This stopped at about a year old (I only worked when my husband was home, so we were able to just go with it).
Yes, the daycare workers know how to handle this. But if you can hold out until she's at least 8months, it might be easier to leave her so you can work.

Just remember, the secure bond that you develop with your baby created the ability for them to be independent later on. Likewise, a baby that can't trust that you will come when she cries now will likely be super clingy later. So spoil her with love and attention as much as you can now, it will give her the confidence to be apart from you later :)

Start having someone come over and watch her for 30 mins while you go
to the store around the corner, go get gas or walk around the block a
few times.
You'll be getting her used to having you be gone for short amounts of time
This way you build up to it.

She'll be fine. She'll cry and cry and cry the first few days. They're used to this in child care.

Then she'll adjust during the day but still cry at drop off. YOU have to hand her over and leave. Hugging her tight, lingering, peeking through the window, these things make her cry longer and more. She learns if she cries you do what "she" wants and what "she" wants isn't good for her.

So YOU have to watch what you do. If you even look back at her she knows she's got you. If she cries you'll come back and she'll have what she wants.

In this instance I'd tell you to not even go in her classroom, to hand her over to the teacher in the hallway. In a few weeks, by the time you get to the car she'll have stopped crying and she'll be doing something else.

Your baby is doing what any normal baby would do: needing the companionship of her mother. The only way she can get used to other people is to grow naturally, with the confidence that her mother will be there. That will make her secure enough to enjoy other people. Right now she cannot even differentiate between herself and you. She thinks she is part of you--no wonder she cries when you leave her. Why not take her along with you and enjoy her babyhood? It doesn't last very long at all! If you are 37, this may be your only chance to experience being with your own baby, which is such a sweet time. They grow up and wave goodbye all too fast. If you can any way possible take the time now, I don't think you will regret it...and you will have a little one who is more confident and secure because of the time you gave her.

Hang in there. I have 3 kids when my middle cild was an infant he really only wanted me. My husband would get really hurt.
This is what worked for me. I would have someone else watch your baby starting out for 15 minutes. Yes most likely the baby will cry the whole time. Be consistent. Its no fun listening to our babies cry.

You can't get her used to your leaving and coming back because object permanence if a developmental milestone. She will have it when she has it. She can learn that there are other people who are fine to be with. DH always shared responsibility for my son equally and DS has always been just as happy to be with him as with me. DS started daycare at 9 weeks (3 days a week). So he had three more people who cared for him regularly. And he was perfectly happy to be held and cared for by those caregivers. I don't think you can prepare her for daycare. I think you just have to start it. She will be fine.

Babies will be more secure and more independent later on when they have secure bonds with their caregivers. But there is no rule that states only one caregiver or that that person must be the mother.