My Daughter Just Told Me She Is Pregnant, Having Cramps and Spotting

I'm sorry to hear about the unexpected pregnancy. Most important is to love her no matter what and then 2nd would be to get her to the doctor for the spotting.

I pray that she doesn't loose it, and I also pray that if she doesn't plan on keeping it that she considers adoption.

Prayers and love from someone who owes her family to girls who were strong enough to give their babies a step up into a complete family. L.

Hi L.,

I agree with the other posts that she will need to seek medical advice. It could also be a tubal pregnancy. A trip to the doctor could quickly set your mind at ease. My heart and prayers go out to you and your daughter. Here is a scripture that you may find comfort in.

2 Samuel 22:31 (Amplified Bible)

As for God, His way is perfect; the word of the Lord is tried. He is a Shield to all those who trust and take refuge in Him.

K.

aaa crisis pregnancy center is also a great place to get info or advice. I was also pregnant at 19 and miscarried (Ihave a great 16 mos old now, and have been married for 6 years) It is very painful and very emoitional, but also very common for a first pregnancy. I think everyone has given great advice, and your support is really the best thing for your daughter. By the way, I had actual bleeding during my 2nd pregnancy and everything was fine.

I was in that situation, only I was the 18 year old that was pregnant and the best thing my parents did for me was support me in the whole thing, not make a huge deal out of it.. meaning- don't put it out there as a horrible thing, support her and give her praise on everything everyday! It is hard because at 18 you think they are going to be kids still and have a lot of experiences, but let her know that you are happy for her and will love the baby to come just as much as you would if she was 30 having her first baby.

On the possible miscarriage again, just support her and be the shoulder she needs to cry on! Thats the most important thing for a mom to do when their daughter is pregnant no matter what age. I know because I was in your daughters shoes at the same age.

it's normal to have cramps through out the pregnancy. the spotting is normal in early pregnancy. if she is in her later months seek professional care immediatly. but either way it doesn't hurt to ask a doctor. better same than sorry

Wow! Such a tough thing to deal with at such a young age. Does your daughter have a strong faith as well? If I were in the same situation, I would share with her that God works all things together for good for those that love him. Even though we must suffer pain, it is always for a purpose. Is she married? If not, get her involved with a Christian Pregnancy Center that can help her find some resources and such. The best thing you can do is be there for her and pray. Jesus loves your daughter and the beautiful life she is carrying, he does not want her to hurt, but wants her to draw near and walk with Him. He knows what is best for her and will not put anything in her or your path without the strength to overcome it. God bless you! I will be praying for your family. =0)

Cramps and spotting is not abnormal during the first stages of pregnancy. Tell her not to worry too much, but she should be seen by an ob-gyn as soon as possible to be checked out. If the pain increases in anyway, she should head to the ER.

There's many message boards and parenting support sites geared towards teenage and young moms. A quick Google search can pull up a few for you and her to check out.

Hi L.!

I too got pregnant at 18!! I was a little surprised when I saw blood in my underwear about a week after I found out I was pregnant! When I talked to my OBGYN, he said that it was normal around that time as long as it wasn't TOO much blood...they did send me in for a check-up!

I have to say that I am now 25, and I have 2 beautiful boys to brag about! As you probably know, God doesn't make accidents! What was very helpful for me, was my mom's support! My mom meant everything to me, and it meant a lot to me to know that she was there to support me!

God Bless!
J.

I know this is an older post but once I read it I had to respond.

I was 17 when I got pregnant and carried 3 1/2 months before losing the baby. My mother forced me to go to the doctor when I informed her of the spotting and they gave me an internal ultrasound which came up with the bad news.

I was crushed. My mother just cried with me. Knowing that she was there and would be no matter what, in of itself was a great comfort. However, the loss of a child is the most difficult this a person can experiene (in my opinion). I know I went through a depression, the "what did I do", the "was it my fault", the "could I have prevented this" stages.

My advise would be to stand by her. Let her know you are there, but not push too much. Should she lose the baby, she will need to deal with it and accept it at her own pace.

Best of luck. And let your daughter know that if she needs to talk to someone who has experienced the same thing, she can contact me anytime.

Hi there L. my name is S. . I was 18 teen when I found out I was pregnant and I did the same thing.They told me to lay down and put my feet above my hart.Only when she is cramping and if she still is spotting then she needs to go see the doctor.If you need more info just wright me. I'am there for you and your daughter. Sincerley,S.

L.,
It's important for your daughter to see a doctor if she's spotting. Some doctors prefer to closely watch patients with these symptoms so early in pregnancy.

The important thing is rest and eating well. Having seen my sister cope with her daughter getting pregnant at 19, I see your concern. The best thing we found was giving her love, support and reassurance that she's not alone.

I'm sure she'll do well.

Take care,
A.

L.
I THINK THAT YOUR DAUGHTER NEEDS YOUR SUPPORT RIGHT NOW, AND I THINK THAT THE MORE THAT SHE IS PREPAIRED FOR LOSING THE BABY THE BETTER OFF SHE WILL BE. BUT REMEMBER NOT TO MAKE IT SEEM LIKE IT IS NO BIG DEAL AND THAT SHE CAN ALWAYS HAVE ANOTHER BABY. THAT WILL MAKE THINGS WORSE. mAKE SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR HER TO REMEMBER THIS BABY BY...PLANNED OR NOT THIS BABY IS YOUR GRANDCHILD
BEST WISHES
A. B

If your daughter is miscarring it is going to be painful. It was one of the most painful things I went through. I also had a friend that I was with when she miscarried and all I can say is God love her. If she sees a Dr. and they tell her she's going to lose the baby make sure you get something heavy for the pain. It happens far more then people realize so she needs to know that it's nothing that she did and that it happens for a reason. It will be a tough time for her and I still think of my lost baby after nearly 5 years. But it will help her to talk about it and not to hide from it.
Best of Luck.

I agree with the rest of the women, she needs to see a doctor. The symptoms she is having can be normal or sadly, maybe she is losing the baby.
I am the mother of a beautiful adopted little girl. If baby is fine and she decides to put this baby up for adoption, I know my daughters birth mother would talk to her and assist her with any questions, fears, etc. about adoption.
If she decides to keep this baby, support her. A child is a gift from god and a blessing.
My prayers are with you and your family.
B.

She needs to get rest ... Take her to the doctor as soon as you get an appointment. Get the book what to expect when you are expecting it explains you a lot of things...I'll pray for all of you...Sylvia

Hi L.,

My 18 year old daughter had a baby in March so I can relate to what you are going through. She had a healthy pregnancy and did not have cramps or spot as far as I know. How far along is your daughter? Is she going to keep the baby? Is the father involved? I would love to talk to you and support you in any way I can.

K.

That is a tough situation. I was single and pregnant at 18 and lost the baby in my 2nd trimester. I don't think anything at time would have made me feel better. My Dr. did tell me that losing the baby was natures way of protecting itself and that was a little comforting. I have never been a religious person but I think if I would have had more faith it would have helped. I would suggest that you just comfort her and be there for her to cry on your shoulder without passing judgement. I did not find true comfort until I got married and had other children and then realized how much different my life would have been if that baby would have made it....God definatly knew what he was doing! It was hard to see at the time but things do happen for a reason...although it is hard to see that thru the pain. Love her, hold her and help her to not get in this situation again until she is ready for it.
E. :)

Dear L.,

I know that you posted this a while back, but thought that I would respond anyway. I hope that she has seen a doctor. If the spotting continues for a while and she has pain on one side, make sure she gets seen right away. If it is a tubal pregnancy and goes untreated, it can be fatal. Losing a child either way is difficult, even if it was unplanned. Teenagers take things so hard too. Best wishes.

L. M

Hi L.,
I am a doula and work with a program that provides doula support to expecting teens in the area. My experience has been that the teens who are in a supportive stable family atmosphere tend to come through this time with flying colors. Support her, love her, cry and laugh with her - be her mom and friend. If everything is ok with her and the baby then help her find some programs that support and educate teen moms.

If she loses her baby... support her, love her, cry with her - be her mom and friend. She's going to need you more then ever. Try really hard not to judge or be harsh about her getting pregnant. Again, help her to find a support group or maybe even just someone who's been through a miscarriage before who can tell her what to expect and how to deal with the emotions she is having. Maybe she might even want to see a counselor.

Best of luck to you. You'll be in my prayers.
C. from Minnesota

I think just by being there and listening and being a shoulder to cry on is really all you can do I went through the same thing with my first pregnancy and ended up losing the baby I wish I had a mother that was as caring as you *S*

I agree with the other women, she should call the doctor as soon as possible... In the meantime she should be resting with her feet elevated(up)... She shouldn't be doing any housework or anything with stress... Good luck and God bless...

A.Elias

I echo the advice to get your daughter to a doctor to make sure everything is okay. I also have a good friend who had a child at 18, and she has made it work--although it certainly wasn't easy. Going to school and work with a child as a single mom is hard. But it can be done.

Also remember the option of adoption. There are many, many good couples out there waiting to adopt. Your daughter can decide what is best for her and her child.

I wish your daughter the best,
L.

L.:

I hope all is well. My name is H. and I am a local doula. I just wanted to let you know that there is extra support out there for you and her. I also have a link to a Christian based childbirth education class here in town if you would like. Keep up the faith.

H.

Hi L.,

First of all, I would just like to tell you that I will be praying for you and your daughter. I am wondering how far along she is, because sometimes women have implantation spotting and a little cramping. Has she been to the doctor yet?

A little about me:
I'm a new mother of a 7-week old boy. I've been married for 2 years. I also love the Lord and have a strong faith in God.

Please feel free to e-mail me any time! ____@____.com

It does sound like she may loose the pregnancy. I'll bet you can't decide whether that is a good thing or not. The fetus is not capable of living outside the mother's body now and if there is something wrong with it or the mother's ability to carry the fetus to term it is better to loose it early. I also am Christian and have assisted in many births of unwed moms and although I do not believe these women/girls should be practicing intercourse and having babies they still need the love and guidance of their own mother at a time like this. If she does loose the child: God is always needing new angels to carry on his good works. He/she will be in good company resting in Gods arms and being in heaven with many other tiny angels.

L. what area of town do you lived in?? I am a certified birth doula and would love to come and talk to you about what she is going thru..

T.
Assisting In A Miracle

Hi,
I am a 40 yrs old and have a 15 month son and a 20 yr old daughter, who just made me a grandma 2 months ago.
Planned parenthood has great support and you can call them, make an appt. and she can talk to someone who understands and relates to her best interest. Her family doctor might also be helpful for talking and understanding.
PS
At 5 wks preg with my son, I cramped and was spotting as well. The nurse said I lost the baby, ultra sound confirmed that. Two days later, after more blood wk, my numbers went up and all was well (the ultra sound was too early.) Like I said earlier, he is 15 months old now.
Good luck

Just try to be there for your daughter, she really needs your love and support right now, espcially if she loses this baby, it's going to be tough on all of you, but just love her!!! Call and get her into a Dr. as soon as you can, just to make sure that everything is going ok with her and the baby. Does she know how many weeks she is? I have heard that sometimes you can have some spotting but not sure, best bet get her in to see a Dr. and if she is far enough along you guys might be able to hear the heart beat, that is always neat. Try to go to Dr. appointments with her if she will let you, and when she has an ultrasound you will be amazed at how much you can see. My friend is having twins and she just had a 3 dimensional ultrasound and you could actually see facial features, it was so neat!!!! So my advice to you is just be as supportive to your daughter as you can be, I know that this can't be a happy moment right now but they say that God works in mysterious ways, so just have faith in him and know that everything happens for a reason sometimes we don't know why........ but, I will keep you all in my prayers I hope the best for your daughter. Take care!
D.
Arizona

look at it this way at least she wasn't 13 or 15 yrs old she is 18 yrs old is not that bad, I am a christian I got married when I was 18 and it took us 1 yrs to have a baby the 1st one God took him because he was going to be beformed, now this one I had a hard pregnancy, I had to be on bed rest and I had seazures, and well only god made the miracle and keeping him alive, now he was born on june 6,2006, his weight was 2 pounds he was born three months before he was suppose dto be born and he is alive now he is almost two months and he weights 4lb 2oz and soon he wil be comming home and he is normal there's nothing wrong with him. please let's just pray and forget that she got pregant at 18 just thank god for the miracles he wil make.

Hi L., first I am hopng you have taken her to a family doctor asap or the emergency room. Depending on your daughters age body type and how far a long she is sometimes cramps are not a big deal but sometimes they are.

Now for the real advice -- I can really give you advice because (and you will understand if you do the math) I am about to be 35 and my son will be 18 this year.

My life is not what I planned or dreamed but I have faith in God and love all of my children so it is what it is and I believe I am living God's purpose for me no matter the obstacles I took to get here.

you can email me if you like and I can walk you through some real good advice -if you live here on Maui or in Hawaii I can tell you of some "real" places to get help -- whether her choice is to keep, abort or adopt out -- keep in mind she should make the choice and a real professional - not you - should explain them to her - trust me - I wouldnt listen to anyone - also just have her back right now -my mom was incredible but it took years for me to learn how she really felt and I dint need her fears and anger then I needed her and that is what she gave me. My name is M. and if you fill me in on where you are as far as months pregnant and thoughts she is having etc the fathers invlovement I WILL help you! Just put M. please respond and when I get the email I will

Im very sorry to hear about your daughters situation... I was a young mother my self at 18 and my child and i have turned out pretty good. I would say for your daughter to call her OBGYN and get some advice there, or she can always go to planned parent hood. It just depends on how far along she is if they can help her or not....... The best of luck to your daughter and you as well.
M.

Happy moments, PRAISE GOD.
Difficult moments, SEEK GOD.
Quiet moments, WORSHIP GOD.
Painful moments, TRUST GOD.
Every moment, THANK GOD.

Pray, and keep praying until something happens.

Hi L.,

From one christian mother to another -- her cramps and spotting could or couldn't be something to worry about. It sounds like she really needs to be seen by a doctor for further evaluation.

On another note, no matter what happens with this pregnancy the Lord knows what is best for your daughter and the family.

All the best

Relax...it will work it self out! Take her to Dr. ask your daughter about the father of the child,ask her what does she want to do? she has 2 options keep the baby or give him up for adoption! Pray for strength,understanding & guildance.If she loses the baby it is God will,stand by your daughter...don't desert her in her time of need!

mother of 2 daughter & 2 sons

Hello L.,
I agree with Tiffany,she needs to be seen by a health care provider to be evaluated.She could miscarry or it could be implantation bleeding,but the cramping makes me worry.I really suggest she see a care provider.

T.

If she just found out she's pregnant, it's pretty normal to have a little spotting and some cramps. However if she's a little further along she should go to the doctor.
I found out I was pregnant two weeks after my 19th birthday. Theres really no easy way to cope but you have to make sure she knows that she has to grow up now. It can be sort of a bummer but she should find a group of other moms around her age. There's one called MOPS ( mothers of preschoolers) and I know they have a group just for young moms and at Rose Medical Center there are classes for young moms where they teach information on parenting and creating a support network. Hope this helps!

If she is in the first trimester of being pregnant, it can be normal to have some spotting and cramping.

I hope that she does not have to go through a miscarriage. I had one for my first pregnancy, but my second pregnancy turned out just fine. Now I have a healthy, happy 16 month old.

If she does have one, acknowledge her loss. Be there to support her and let her know it is okay to grieve for a little while for what could have been. Make sure that she is focused on something else that will help distract her from her loss.

If this pregnancy sticks around, just let her know that you will be there for her to count on emotionally. God Bless and best wishes, K.

I would have her see a doctor roght away if she has not already done so. Best wishes.
L. Habbershaw

I got pregnant the month I turned 19. I am now 31 and the best advise in regards to the unplanned pregnancy is to have her talk to other young mothers find her a teen pregnancy or parenting group. There are many and if you do not know how to go about finding one let me know. She needs to know that she is loved no matter what. She needs a realistic view on the way it is going to be. She needs to know it is her responsibility now to take care of herself for the baby.

For sure make sure it is not a tubal pregnancy, if it bursts she could die also. I will light a candle for you as well as your daughter and grandchild. I am here if she or you want to talk. I have been right where she is exactly and I know many outcomes. How pregnant is she?

Hello,
If she does lose the baby just tell her that her body wasn't ready yet and it's probly best. All you can do is just reasure her that you are there for her and don't push her away. Just try to put yourself in her shoes how would you want to be treated. She needs you now more than ever. Good luck.

L.,
I had an unexpected pregnancy at 18. It turned out to be an eptopic and I nearly died. I was told that I would never be able to have children since my whole right side, including the tube and ovary, had shattered. I had a wonderful surgeon,thank god, that reconstructed as much as he could. It was a very difficult time, even though it was unplanned it was still my baby, no one seemed to understand. It was hard to deal with the fact that I was pregnant and didn't want to be, not to mention that I wasn't ready for something like that, and at the same time being told that I was losing this child. I suggest that if she loses the baby to get in a support group or maybe get her some therapy. A couple of months after my eptopic I become pregnant with my husband! I now have a wonderful 3 year old daughter, but I still think of that little baby that I lost every day of my life. I never would have made it through the pain and sadness if I didn't have a wonderful support group. I hope that everything turns out to be okay, if you or her ever need to talk, I'm here. Keep me posted.

Hi L.-
I was scrolling down and knew that I needed to respond, even though it's been a few days. If your daughter needs to talk to anyone, tell her I'm it. I am 21 and had my first at 19 (pregnant at 18). I have been where she is about to go. I had no friends my age with children and had never been around them or taken care of them. If she needs any advice, especially the kind that the nurses and doctors leave out, I'm here.
-E.