My 4 Year Old Is Scared to Grow Up!

My little boy just turned 4 two weeks ago. He is registered to begin pre-k next week; but the closer it gets, the more we think he's not ready. He's never been away from me a single day in his life, and pre-k is 7 hours per day, 5 days per week. He is not completely potty-trained; and I think, at this point, it is just a test of wills. He knows how to do everything; he just won't do it. I told him earlier this summer that he couldn't go to school unless he got potty-trained, thinking it would be a motivation for him. Instead, he said, "Good! I don't want to go to school!" So now I think he is refusing to go to the potty because he thinks that, if he isn't potty-trained, then he won't have to go to school.
I don't have any advice for you or your little girl (obviously, I don't even know how to help my own child with his fears). I just wanted you to know that this is not unusual. I think many families go through this kind of behavior in one way or another. My only inclination is just to keep loving her and hugging her and kissing her and being there for her. And don't discount her fears or make her feel stupid or unjustified. Encourage her to talk about what scares her and then just listen. Give it time.
I hope it all works out for her (and you). Blessings to your family.

I think this is normal. My daughter will be 4 in a month and all of a sudden she seems like a totally different child. She's not afraid of things, but the other things you described (not listening, being whiny, crying, etc) sounds exactly like this new phase my daughter is going through.

After talking to several people with older children...they all told me it comes with the age. :( So hopefully this phase passes FAST! Good luck!

This is normal for most kids; my middle child loved slides but wouldn't climb up any really tall ones because she went to fast one time. My oldest was scared of chickens; and would start to cry when she saw one. I tried not to force the issue too much and when I could would go down with her. I found the bigger deal that I made out of things the more they fought against it. Now I can't keep her off any of the slides and anything tall for that matter. Give her some time and she will eventually lose her fear. When she does something brave like stand by the monkey bars; reward her with telling her how proud of her you are and eventually it will work itself out. Good Luck!

Hi, I am a mother of a beautiful 3 1/2 year old who is also
independent (very). I am sorry to say I do not have an answer for you, but going through something very similiar.
She was transitioned a couple of months ago into a new daycare class with older kids, she usually loves playing with older kids but every day it seemed their was an issue
she was bitten many times and scratches on her they told me
because she was small the other kids treated her like a baby.
Since she has been horible with listening at home and putting her in time out or any punishment has been a major
nightmare. If you come across anything that helps please let me know, hoping this is just a phase. Good luck to you!

A LITTLE ABOUT ME

I am a working mom, with a wonderful husband who have been here two years now. Our little one is our miracle and our one and only who is our world.

Hi L., I have a 7 year old that I get on the weekend. I make it a habit of talking to him and reinforcing what we talk about. Your child has learned a habit as we all did and believe that it is the way it is. She's at the age where you can mentor and mold her. The fear that your child has can only be overcome by her facing it. And you encouraging her and letting her know that growing up is normal and what to expect. Write her notes and leave them where she will find them. Then read the notes over and over to her. I say to my son daily " Act the way you want to be and soon you'll be the way you act" The way he acts is always meant on a positive note. The hating school habit needs to be addressed daily about changing the way she thinks about school. Use what she likes as a way to get her to change what she thinks about school. If she hates it at 4 she is programming herself for failure for high school, and college. Help her to understand the path to making the right decisions, she's 4 but she will understand if you continue to tell her what it is she has to understand. Repete over and over the positives about growing up and attending school. You can re-program your little girl to like school and not be afraid of growing up. You must repete over and over and she too, will do some great things in her life time. I wish you the best and much success.