My 27 Month Old Is NEVER Going to Wean!!! HELP!!!!

I cant give you advice but i can tell you that you are not alone, i am down to only night feedings as well, my daughter is very attached to these sleep feedings, she sleeps no other way. Shes 25 months.

Right there with ya, you have not made a amistake, youve made a loving bond that is difficult for your baby to break from BECAUSE youve done a great job making him comfy. Gradually weaning is the right thing at this point.
*edited*
beware of the people who are going to tell you that you are "weird" or that this is wrong to do. They havent been in the same position as you, and maybe they arent as empathetic, We arent all built of the same stuff. Just be careful with the responses you will get, dont take them all to heart, and take from them only what what applies to you

WHoa whoa whoa! Your not gonna like me, but first of all, you have no milk, so your not nursing him, your just letting him suck on your boob! He NEEDS to stop doing that now and he needs to be sleeping in his own room.
My son had a pacificer until 22 months, yeah it was a little difficult taking it away from him (rough week), but it had to be done.
Im sorry, but nursing is for nutritional benefit, what you are doing is not benefiting anyone, its weird.

I wanted to edit and say that I dont think breastfeeding is weird. Which she clearly stated, she no longer has milk. Letting a child suck on your boob for an hour and a half when you dont even have milk is not benefiting anyone. Its time to stop.

My feeling about nursing, is when it becomes a detriment to mom and child...it's time to stop. Honestly, I don't think there will a gentle way. His attachment has moved from a great thing...to an unhealthy emotional attachment and power struggle. He is past the age of everything needing to be gentle. I don't mean to sound harsh, but this has become unhealthy emotionally, for you and him. The more you drag it out, the worse it will be. Just end it. It is a detriment and struggle to both of you. Put some band-aids on your nipples, say no, and let him have some nights of fits.

IMHO, Mo B. is wierd for thinking it is anything but natural to nurse your baby until he is finished! The NATURAL age for human weaning is between 2.8 and 3.7 years. (Source: http://www.llli.org/ba/Aug94.html or http://www.naturalchild.org/guest/katherine_dettwyler.html) Milk is produced by supply and demand. If he is still nursing, she is still producing. Nursing is for FAR MORE than simply nutritional benefit; it provides nurturing and nourishment for mind, body, and spirit.

I first began brushing teeth after nursing to clean teeth and wash out mouth after nursing, then cuddling before putting my son to bed. I figured if he got used to not having my milk in his mouth the last thing before sleeping this would help (plus it is better to brush before bedtime anyway, and to set up a lifetime of good hygene habits). After brushing, I would spend a little more time cuddling while reading or just put him down and pat him a little while.

The next thing I did was nurse for less time at each night feeding. I would let him know I was finished, then maybe go potty to distract him (have him go, or at least try) before brushing teeth. Once teeth are brushed, nothing but sips of water until morning. You could then read a bedtime book or sing lullabies.

The last step was to convince him he no longer needed it. I encouraged weaning because I was to to start a medication that was not proven completely safe for nursing (it is not found to be unsafe, either, but I wanted to err on the side of caution). We spent a couple months from start to finish on weaning. I was in no hurry because I wanted my son to feel like it was his idea. He was completely weaned at 33 months.

If you are wanting to wean out of concern for your newborn once s/he gets here, don't worry about it. Read up on tandem nursing. If you are conserned about your next baby taking "too long" to wean, just remember every person, every baby, every experience is different. This baby may want to wean at 13 months, or at 9 or 19. Just let it happen. Keep in mind that breast milk is LIQUID GOLD! The longer you are able to nurse, the better it is for your child!

I have so been there! I was waiting for my son to self-wean but at 2.5 he was still VERY attached to nursing. It was definitely a comfort thing with him too. What finally worked for me was that I had to go on a business trip for 3 days/2 nights and I figured since he had already gone without for 3 days there was no way I was going back to nursing once i got back. It was tough but I just kept explaining that he's a big boy now and that nursing is for babies ( I went into detail about how he had teeth and could eat all kinds of yummy food but babies have no teeth and can only nurse). He cried for a couple days then slowly got over it. But honestly I don't know what I would have done if i had not had to go on that trip. Can you stay with family for a night or two so he gets used to not nursing? Sorry I can't be of more help. Just wanted to let you know I have soooo been there.

i honestly would just say I'M DONE and dont give him that option for him ne more, cut it completely if you're really done...but i quit nursing at 3 months and she was sleeping in her crip when she was head to toe in her bassinet, only co sleeps when she's sick or it's a special cuddle night

How do you know for sure you have no more milk? If he's been nursing at night and during the day, you have to have something in your breast that he is getting or he wouldn't nurse. Trust me when I say this because with my third child, he was not able to breastfeed due to a weak suck. Because he could not get what he needed from my breast, he stopped nursing.

Secondly, he is not waking up because he's hungry. Something is waking him up, possibly thirst, but not hunger. He should have been weaned from night nursing a long time ago so it's time to stop. When he gets up during the night, you are NOT to offer your breast. At all! He's thirsty? Fine, give him a sippy cup of of WATER. Not milk, not juice. Nothing enticing to encourage him to wake up during the night. Water only. If he refuses the water, fine, put him back to bed. He's a two year old toddler expecting to get his way and you being the parent must reclaim control of him. Right now based on what you've described, he's controlling you and being pregnant with a toddler controlling you is exhausting. There is not a gentle way to wean him from night nursing. You just stop offering your breast. Tell him there is no milk for him at night and leave it at that. IF you give in, you've lost control again and must start all over again. You must stand your ground. You might also consider offering him a bowl of oatmeal or Cream of wheat to eat just before bedtime and give him a sip of milk (not your breast) from a sippy cup and that should keep him full to not wake up. When does he eat dinner? When does he actually go to sleep? He could be hungry if a lot of time passes between dinner and bed time.

Also, are you okay with co-sleeping? Are you wanting him out of your bed? How will you manage co-sleeping with a toddler after the baby is born? Will you have two children in bed with you? You need to consider what you want and begin implementing it now. If you want him out of your bed BEFORE the baby is born, now is the time to begin making that transition. He may need a mattress on your bedroom floor for a week or two before you move him to his own room. Once you boot him out of your bed, do NOT invite him back in. I don't care if he screams and has a temper tantrum. He needs to know you and his daddy are the boss and not the other way around. Yes, babies do use the breast for comfort but they don't find comfort in something that doesn't give them anything. If you've been nursing all along, you have milk. He's getting something or he would have abandoned it a long time ago. Have you squeezed your nipples to see if any milk comes out? I bet you do. My son stopped nursing when my breasts stopped producing and the only reason my breasts stopped producing was because his suck wasn't strong enough to get enough out. My body began making less and less until there truly was nothing to produce. If you truly have no more milk, then you need to stop offering your breasts. Make them hard to get at and use all kinds of distractions (if he's nursing during the day) to keep him from wanting the breast. But for night nursing, you just stop offering. Stop letting him have his way. He's over 2 years old, so it's over due.

He's over 2. More food all day, his own bed at night. Done. You need your sleep!

Yes, you do have milk... calm down. This is absolutely NORMAL for extended nurslings. I don't see why you are so upset. What is wrong with him still needing his beloved Mother for comfort? HE'S BARELY 2 YEARS OLD! What do you expect from him? Independence of an 8 year old?

Have you thought about maybe he had a bad day? Or that something may have frightened him today? Or that he may be getting sick? That are the top 3 things that happen if an older nursling changes their normal routine.

Calm down, be pleased your child still needs and wants you like that because trust me it will not last long! Don't worry about night weaning, it will eventually wean itself WITHOUT your forcing the issue. I hope you DO breastfeed your next one, because the benefits definitely outweigh a momentary night or two of frustration.

So who's in control here? Your son is old enough to understand the word no. Tell him that he's a big boy and doesn't need mommy's milk anymore. Then don't give in. Stick to your guns no matter what!

My son turns 2 tomorrow and he is not weaned and I don't intend to force it
though I so understand how you can get fed up trying to get him to sleep and he is stuck on your boob. What I did 3 months ago in preparation for weaning at some point was to nurse him ( I still produce milk) for awhile until I was sure he wasn't drinking anymore, then plopped the nipple out and hold him straight up with his head on my shoulder. I tell him milky is finished. He is still awake at this point and I stroke his back and tell him again it's nite nite time and put him down in 5 mins. still awake. In the beginning he protested like for a week. I tell him I love him and turn the lights out. He cried 5 mins and went to sleep by himself. Make sure he is tired by the time you want to try this at night. He forgets about the crying anyways so I am not worried.
This is my second child and I so learned from my mistakes with the first. He too would only sleep in my bed, nursing to sleep though he was weaned exactly on his 2nd birthday with absolutely not a protest. I don't know how that happened but he was stuck in my bed for a long time. So my 2nd child is always put to bed in his own big sized crib from the beginning and he may call for me at night if he wakes up and only gets carried to my bed in early morning. Don't let it show on your face that you dread what is about to happen when you put him down, but expect it. They sure can tell the difference and will play you till you break down and give in. I do the same for is afternoon nap, by the way. This is working so well for me that I don't think I am going to switch him into a toddler bed till much much later. He can't get out of his crib, the sides protect him from falling and is so much easier for me to put him down and say good night and close the door..
Good luck. I hope this helps.

He's old enough to talk to. Tell him how it's going to be now that the new baby is coming. That you need him to be a big boy, that the baby needs your milk now. That now that he's big he can have foods the baby can't have. If you still want the cuddle time, get a few tank tops, let him rest against your chest.

Good luck.

my sister in law went through this as well. her daughter was completely weaned, but since they were cosleeping, she was there at night and the night nursing just kept happening. i don't remember exactly how she got through it, but i know that it involved some time apart at night. her daughter is 4 now & they don't cosleep anymore, but i don't remember if the night nursing problem ended the cosleeping or not...

I nursed both mine past a year (16 & 20 months) so I understand how you are feeling. There is nothing wrong with nursing baby to sleep it's just knowing when to make the transition to not nursing baby to sleep. For my second it was right around the year mark.

Given that you are pregnant, it's upsetting you, little man isn't sure how to get to sleep try a couple of things:

Check out Dr. sears Baby Sleep book-it has a section for toddlers and
I believe the Baby Whisperer has a Toddler book at well. And the No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers.

Your little man will have to be taught to sleep. he's unsure how at this point but it can be done! Don't worry about that. The books above have amazing info, tips and tricks.

Given his age, the fact that you have no milk left and it's upsetting you, you could try the band aid trick. Cover your nipples with Band-aids then, I would suggest earlier in the day-don't wait till bedtime, say ouchie. When he asks what show him your "boo boos". THat way he's already seen the band aids before bedtime.

You are going to have to work to develop a new bedtime routine that doesn't include nursing. Try a warm sippy of milk and cuddles. I know in the original No-Cry sleep solution she talks about co-sleeping with her infant who wanted to nurse all night. She was able to stop that and continue to co-sleep with her breastfed infant. So she's got some good ideas.

Best to you.

I sooo sympathize with you. Nursing while pregnant is no picnic. Once I hit the second trimester, the nipple pain turned into the heebee jeebees! I decided to nightwean my daughter when I was about halfway through my pregnancy to make room in my life for another nursling (I too was soo annoyed with breastfeeding that I was wondering if I'd ever be able to nurse my second...And don't worry. You won't feel this way with the new baby! Your mommy hormones will kick in...I promise!).

I night weaned by telling my dd1 that "'mama' (our word for nursing) is very tired and sore. (I didn't mention anything about baby to avoid any resentment. I also stay away from "big boy/big girl" language because I think it adds a feeling of guilt into the equation, but that's just me). That means that we will only be able to have mama for ten minutes . Then, when I count to three, mama will be all done for today. Then we get to snuggle." When there was a minute left, I gave a warning, "mama is almost all done." Then counted to three and made her unlatch. Whenever she would ask/cry/whine for nursing, I would let her know I knew what she wanted "mommy knows, (your childs name) wants mama, mommy knows" I did that for a week, each day lowering the time by one minute until we were down to five minutes. During this week, I nursed regularly during the night except that I would try to comfort her back to sleep for a short time (before she became upset before nursing her.)

The second week, I stayed with the five minutes and counting to sleep and during the middle of the night, I would let dd1 know when she woke to nurse "ok, but only for 3 minutes" I would give a one minute warning and then count to three and off she would pop and fall back asleep. After this was well established (it took a few days) I started lowering the time for middle of the night feeds until it got to "only for a quick bit" Ten seconds later, I counted to three....etc.

Finally I tackled those last five minutes of nursing before bed by lowering it to two. Then I would go to bed without mentioning nursing. When she would ask, I would say, "first lets say a prayer" or "tell a story" or whatever and then say ok, time for bed lets snuggle. This would work half the time and nursing those two minutes before bed slowly faded out of the picture.

That is my suggestion for gentle. It took me about a month and a half to nightwean my dd1.

Check out Dr. Jay Gordon's night weaning schcedule!!! He has a lot of good to say. That's all I can post for now... Sorry! Baby #2 just woke!!!

I weaned my 2 1/2 year old by talking to him. I kept saying how he was a big boy now, especially since he had been drinking out of normal cups. How he was growing up so fast, etc. I gave him a goal, I said, hey, how about we celebrate your half birthday this year! He loved that idea since he loved to receive gifts. I told him since he was going to be 2 1/2 now, he was such a big boy that he wouldn't need the breast milk anymore. He was all for that!
We crossed the days off the calendar and everything in anticipation for this big day. That morning he woke up and immediately asked for the breast. I told him how today was the big day and he said, please one last time. (Meanwhile I was thinking, yeah right, he will be asking for it again tonight at bedtime.) Well, we proceeded with the day as planned. We went to the park together, came home and had a cupcake birthday cake and opened his present. He was so happy. Well, that night he didn't ask for it. After several months had passed and he not once asked for it, I praised him for how he truly was a big boy now. He said, "I know." I asked if he ever missed it and he said only when he hurts himself, he misses the comfort and I assured him that he could always be cuddled to receive the comfort he was looking for and he was more than happy with that answer! He is now 15 and the most well adjusted kid. Looking back, the hard part wasn't the weaning but rather getting him to sleep in his own bed. But that's another story. Good luck. Have fun with it and make it a celebration or a rite of passage and they will be much more receptive to it!

I told my son that they were broke. We talked about it and if he asked I told him that they were broke again. His thing was not the sucking but the holding and I would let him touch and then we weaned away from that too. He co slept in our room until he was three. At two we moved him out of our bed though and to a toddler bed in our room. I could still reach over and reassure him and he could hold my hand but it made the transition easier.

I nursed till 2.5 years old, and did modified co-sleeping for a while. I wanted to BF for a long time and enjoyed the co-sleeping as well. What helped me transition him was getting him into his own room on a twin mattress on the floor (so I could fall asleep comfortably when nursing him to sleep). I have a crib mattress next to the twin so I can be comfortable when NOT on the big mattress. So he has his own room and his own bed, but "co-sleeping" is still do-able in a modified way.

What helped with the weaning during the day was a BABYSITTER! She started putting him down for his nap, so it wasn't possible to nurse to sleep. That helped him gently learn that he didn't need to nurse to sleep all the time. It helped ME knowing it was possible, too! I also wanted to wean gently as I didn't want my breasts to hurt as much as I heard it did going the "cold turkey" route.

Gradually remove one nurse at a time, with the nighttime being the last. You want to take out whichever one seems least meaningful for him, and then keep going rom there. He's also old enough to talk to about the fact that little babies need to nurse, and that bigger boys eat food like mommy & daddy, etc, so you can help him understand why he needs to stop - you're milk is running out because he's bigger, etc.

My son sometimes likes to hold my thumb or finger when falling asleep, or have his hand on my cheek. It's lovely and won't last forever, and it's not every night, so I'm enjoying it.

Hope that helps a little.

I nursed my son until he was about 26 months - I too didn't know how I would ever get him to sleep without nursing, and we also cosleep.
I basically tried to explain that the milk was "all gone" and that it was for babies and he was a big boy now. He would cry and it was horrible for me, however the process was much quicker than I expected it to be. It was only a battle for about a week.
I tried to still give him plenty of cuddle time, and we would rock and read books. At night, I but his crib mattress on the floor, and if he would try to nurse I would tell him no, and put him down on the mattress and said, no you can't nurse, if you don't go back to sleep, then you can't sleep with mommy. He was devestated about being put out of the bed, so he would crawl back in, snuggle up next to me & fall back to sleep without nursing.
It's hard, but you just have to stay firm in a loving way and still provide plenty of cuddle time.
He is 32 months and still cosleeping, so no idea how we will break that, but I'm in no rush.
Good luck and great job for nursing for so long! Don't let anyone let you feel bad or guilty for it!

The little guy does not know how to go to sleep without the breast. If you are feeling exhausted and ready to be done, then it is the right thing for your family to stop nursing even if it is only at night. It is normal for us to wake up at night, but we learn it's cool to just roll over and go back to sleep. He has learned to use the breast. I can't realy imagine night weaning when you're co sleeping. The smell sight and feel of the breast but no access to it sounds pretty rough. However, it sounds like other moms have had success doing this. When the only feeding left was the super early mornign one and my daughter kept waking up earlier and earlier for it and I was exhausted and nowhere near my best for her and the family during the day we weaned. I told her during the day and then before sleep that the milk was all gone. She understood this at 17 months and after about 2 days/nights it was fine. Weaning can be a collaborative process with the baby, but it sounds like you are done, at least for the night and he is having a hard time too. You and your husband can plan (ie going into a weekend), that the weaning will happen and then just do it with excitement for the new level of independence your child will have in sleep! Don't give up on nursing for your next baby. You can start this process when you want with this and the next baby despite otherS empassioned insistances that you should wean at a year, at 3 or never. Good luck!