My 21-Month-old Suddenly Refuses to Sleep in His Crib/bed

We struggled with the exact same thing when our daughter was this age. She was a great sleeper and all of a sudden would scream and cry and would not fall asleep. Finally I researched and found that at this age children have developed a part of their brain where they understand fears. It turned out our daughter was a afraid with the door closed. She would always sleep with the door closed till then. She also needed the hallway light on so it would shine into her room. We would turn that light off when we went to bed but she would wake around 2 am only to come back in our room so now we just leave the light on all night. We also made sure her closet doors were closed and that she had a night light. Now she sleeps soundly through the night. Hope this helps. Wish you the best!

Since this is effecting your marriage, i would assume he has his own room with his bed in there. Seems from what i'm hearing from your message that it would be much healthier for him to be in a separate room. When he gets older he could tell you how he wants his room decorated.

My almost 3 year old went through a period of not wanting to be in her bed. She just wanted some comfort, but it turned into manipulating us. I completely bought into her "fear" at night; fortunately, my husband saw through it.
We would stay with her for a few minutes at bedtime and then tell her what a big girl she is and how everything is alright. We also told her to stay in her bed until the sun comes up--that seemed to help her set a goal.
Unless she is sick, keep her in her bed.
And, you're right, your marriage has priority.
good luck

my son is 31 months...at that age he also climbed out of the crib a few times but then stopped..and now at bedtime he climbs in and waits for me in the morning to get it him out.
that age is a tough sleeping age..my son fought his nap at that age and everyone said that's it..naps are done but i was persistent ...i would advise you turn the day bed back into a crib ..i think you might have jumped the gun..i know it's scary when they can climb in and out..there's a security they get from sleeping in their crib.
i put a bunch of stuffed animals all around the bottom of it and my son stayed in..also i put toys in there for my son ..he sleeps w/ a bunch of stuffed animals and his dinosaur collection.
i've gone in there a couple of times and found toys i didn't put in there in his crib..so i know he climbed out..but it just happens once in a blue moon..
he sleeps from 9:30pm to 8:30am sometimes 9am! b/c i don't run in when he starts crying in the middle of the night..i make sure he has a sippy w/ water in it in there..maybe your son needs a night light?
this phase will pass..i know a lot of people that move their children into toddler beds early but i seem to be having an easier time w/ sleep since i didn't move him.

I know it would be so hard to do, but you must continue to put him in his bed. He has to learn to fall asleep on his own bed and stay there. I just had to do a similar thing with my daughter and she cried for hours in her crib before falling back to sleep. (she wanted me to get her and bring her into my bed to sleep for the rest of the night/early morning)
It took 3 days of crying and then on the 4th day, she sleep until 6 in the morning, straight through. I couldn't believe it!! It has been over a week of her sleeping through the night, and I am thrilled. Hey, if I would have known that it was only going to take 3 days, I would have done it a lot sooner. You just have to keep putting him back into his bed even if he screams and screams!!! He will learn...my daughter did!
Good luck!

I just had to walk my son back to his bed everytime...sometimes it was 3 or 4 times a night. and let him know that he could come in our room "when the sun came up", was a little bit older, about 2 1/2 or 3. But make sure dad does it too because I made the mistake of doing all the time and he only wanted me todo it. I never got a break!!

My youngest just did the same thing. He turned 2 two weeks ago and for about a month (23 mo on) he wouldn't sleep in his bed. Turned out he was getting his 2 yr molars! Once they started breaking through he started sleeping better again. Try a little bit of tylenol before bed to try to soothe the pain.

Luci,
i was dealing with the same issue with my 23 months old who had been sleeping in his crib since he 6 months old. then my husband wanted him to fall asleep next to him and that was it. once the little ones feel the warmth and the smell of parental bed they don't want to sleep seperetely any more.
But as it turned out so that neither him or ourselves were able to sleep through the night i decided to stop it.
All you need to do is put him back into his crib (i think you should convert the bed back into a crib)of course he is going to refuse to lay down and will stand and start crying, but trust me it want go on for more than 5-6 days (just make sure nobody comes into the room and gets him out of the bed). for the first days you stay next to him for a while, read a story, until he falls asleep. when he wakes up at night, and he will, go in so that he knows you are close. please make sure you don't seat next to his crib or lay down on the bed that happens to be in his room. otherwise that is the place where he would want you to sleep if he has to stay in his crib. couple of sleepless nights but if you are firm and he will learn.

one of our friends says that their son slept in their bed between husband and wife for up until he was 15 years old.
we don't want that, do we?

A.

Hi L.,
My son is 6 years old and has slept with me and my husband almost every night since the beginning - we don't mind it, so I can't help you with the sleeping problem but I can help with the other problem - alone time with your husband. You just have to be creative.

Until my son was 2 1/2 we had a one bedroom condo. Back then we would wait until he was asleep in our bed then go into the living room for some "alone time" - we'd bring pillows and blankets. etc. We'd have the monitor on just in case our son woke up.

When we bought our house my son still wanted to sleep with us. We would wait until he fell asleep and move him back to his room. Again put on the monitor and locked our bedroom door. Later we would bring him back in to our room. I think he only interrupted us once. Now that my son is 6, I tell him he has to sleep in his bed because mommy and daddy have things to do (he always asks if he can help). We tell him he can come in later when we go to sleep.

Hope this helps for now until you can get your son out of your bed.

Hi L.:
If you've been around children most of your young life,then you must know, that they all go through stages.How he was,or what his routine was at 4 months,or even a week ago, is not who he is going to be today.He's nearly 2 years old, and hes experiencing alot of changes.Its around this age,that toddlers develop a wild imagination,and with that come new fears.He has become comfortable with a routine,that you and he have established.When you went away on your business trip,he was thrown off of that routine.He may have eaten at the same time,and gone to bed at the same hour,however,he did notice his MOMMY was MISSING.Toddlers have feelings much like yours and mine,with the exception,they can't express them like we can.He's simply feeling a bit insecure,because he worries you are going to disapear out of the picture again.His spleeping with dad,while you were away,was his security blanket.It was some comfort for him.You didn't mention,if his bed was set up in your room or his own.If its in your room,it may be a good time, to fix his own room up,with things he loves on the walls etc.If hes already in his own room,then, until he feels secure that you aren't leaving any time soon,you may want to go in and soothe him,and let him know you are there.Lay with him for a while,and rub his little back.Give him a night light,as children this age,begin imagining seeing things in the dark,and dreams wake them.My son was doing this,at two, and what we eventually had to do, is pretend we were asleep,spread our arms and legs to the point he couldn't get in our bed,and he gave up and went back to his bed.It sounds mean,but it worked.The hardest thing for us, was not cracking up,listening to him,while he tried to squeeze in somewhere!Just make him feel as secure as you can,for now,and if it continues, after a few weeks and your goin nuts,try the (Bed Hog Approach)I wish you and your darlin Levi the best