My 1St Baby Is Mad.... About a New Baby

Updated on May 13, 2007
R.C. asks from Columbus, IN
6 answers

Hi! I am the mother of 2 beautiful boys 6 & 3. I just found out I am expecting a 3rd, very unplanned. Really it should have been impossible for me to get pregnant I was on Birth Control and have PCOS. But God said .."you are not done yet" So my oldest son heard my husband and I talking and started crying. He doesn't want another baby, he has a brother that is always "blah blah blah" (his words exactly.) I need to know if anyone else has experience this and how you dealt with it. I am still in shock myself and trying to cope with the fact that I'm pregnant it really I guess hurt my feelings that he felt this way.

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L.B.

answers from South Bend on

I wouldn't worry about it too much yet............. just be positive and 6 year olds are kinda moody and stuff. My oldest was 6 and 1/2 when I had our second baby. It will go away...... Not to worry.

1 mom found this helpful
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T.K.

answers from Indianapolis on

I am so sorry for you I know exactly how you feel. My daughters went through the same thing when I was pregnant the third time. I had to explain to them that this was not a decision that was left up to them. We are a family and we should be happy that GOD has blessed us with someone else to love. It will be hard but I think when the baby actually gets here they change. How could they not?? But be prepared for when you can't do something you normally do because you have a new baby and it starts all over again!! But stick to your guns and know that the lord doesn't give us too much to bare and they too will have to understand how GOD works in mysterious ways. GOD bless and answer your prayers of family peace.

1 mom found this helpful
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R.

answers from Lexington on

Have you tried giving the 6-year old some extra "big boy" responsibility to help him understand that he is an important part of the family? This, coupled with LOTS of extra praise, was my strategy. My daughter had just turned 4 when I had a new baby... and for a while she wished her little sister would just go away. But I started making the 4-year old a big part of all our activities and her attitude got better. Now the baby is 10 months and the older is almost 5. She helps prepare dinner, folds laundry, and washes her little sister's back in the tub. She still occasionally says she wishes she was a baby again so she could get more attention, but overall, she has coped well... and i think it's because I've kept her very closely involved.

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K.L.

answers from Indianapolis on

Hi I was in the same situation as you four years ago. It was my middle child who was then 3 then had the trauma of it all. He still has a hard time with his sister and lots of time still resents her. It is very difficult and hard to see him be so upset. I once or twice a month take him out by himself to a special place just to let him know how much we love him. He doesn't know we do it because of his resentment but it does seem to help. Good Luck and prayers for you.

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C.C.

answers from South Bend on

I would sit him down and explain to him that not all babies are alike and that each one has it's own personality...likes, dislikes, etc. so there is no guarantee that the new child will behave like his little brother does. Also, let him know that his little brother is still younger than he is and not as grown up, and that he will grow out of his "blah blah blah" stage soon! Tell him that this baby could be a little sister, instead of another brother...but let him feel like he has a hand in it...tell him he is to be his siblings 'protector', and Mommy's Big Helper. I don't think your son will feel like this your entire pregnancy. I think he too experienced his own form of 'shock' at hearing the unexpected news. I am currently 7 mo. preg. with my 4th, who also was NOT planned and a big surprise, but my other 3 children took it well. My 2 girls are 14 and 7, and really excited. My youngest is 3 yrs old and he took it a little hard at first, simply because he is Mommys Boy, but he is fine with it now because i ask him all the time if he is going to help Mommy when his baby sister gets here, and he likes the idea of that. You just have to include your kids and make them a part of this pregnancy. I hope my advice helps you out! Good luck to you!

1 mom found this helpful
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E.F.

answers from Louisville on

He might have some of his own opinions but he takes is cues from you. However, he's old enough to experience some of the emotional ups and downs that you and your husband will experience during the pregnancy. Try to show some sensitivity to his feelings but shield yourself from the negative influence on your own emotions. In other words . . . it's a 9 month roller coaster ride so hang tough. Best of luck.

E.

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