My 16 Month Old Doesn't Want to Play Alone

I hate to disagree with the other mom who responded, but I don't think that is normal. At 16 months your son should be able to occupy himself. Have you tried putting him in a playpen? Of course by now he is a little old to train, and he might even be able to climb out. He shouldn't feel insecure since you are with him so much - but that might be part of the problem too. I do agree with the other mom that maybe part time daycare might be the solution - at least temporarily. Do you have any friends with children similar ages? Maybe you could take turns taking care of each other's kids - you keep them one afternoon and she keeps them one afternoon.
I raised two boys and now have two grandkids, and they all would play alone at that age - sometimes for hours! Mostly they would wander into the room I was in and "check" on me, then go back to whatever they were doing. My sister, however, had a son just like yours. But the difference was she NEVER left her son with anyone, she was with him ALL the time. And he became overly attached, just like your son is.
You NEED your time away, or alone, or at least time to get your work done! Do whatever it takes to make sure you get it!

Having "been there" and "Done that" and would love to do it again, (oh! I am to my grandson) with mom right there!...
Babies like attention. That's all there is to it! They need to be busy, afterall they are discovering a world with wonderous things! Can you blame them? I have found that in raising my child (who is now 20yrs. old) and still needs attention...but let's not go there..lol I can't tell you what to do but I can tell you how I do it! I find that when I implement certain things from moment to moment, it keeps his attention for a little while. He loves the Program, "Child FIrst". He actually watches it. Then we play alittle while with his toys. Eventually, I have to do "grown up things" like clean the kitchen, laundry, etc...I have 3 cabinets I let him "do his thing in", yes it is often noisey but it keeps him happy and busy while I do "my thing"next thing I know it's time for a nap...YEA! Who said Motherhood was easy??? Hey if you'd like, we could set up a "Playdate" with my grandson and your child? Let me know, we would love it? e-mail me anytime.
lcdlamarca.yahoo.com

Hi H., I can only sympathize - My son (now 18 months) is a very active/inquisitive child. When he is at home with us - he wants to be DOING all the time something. Since I also have stayed at home with him since birth, I think he has gotten used to the fact that often, he can DO WITH ME. We are still working out the situation where he understands that he has to occupy himself part of the time. Some of the partial solutions that we use at this time -
1) part-time daycare/homecare at another woman's house. This gives him the ultimate time to PLAY, someone who is dedicated to watching him and making sure he is not getting into trouble, and the opportunity to play without mama around, plus, make friends and interact with other youngsters.
2) asking my husband to step up and take over the child watching/play time so I can get some things done,
3) giving my son parallel but similar tasks to work on as I do my stuff (only works sometimes)
4) waiting until the baby is asleep to work...

The whining, my guess is indicative that he is bored to some degree. The reason why he is clinging to you is that he is looking for some stimulation...In terms how to solve this. It depends on how and when my own son is whining. I don't want him to learn to use it as a manipulation tactic but try to tell difference between there being something wrong that he cannot yet articulate and just using it to manipulate me.

Good luck!

No, that's normal. Put him in part-time daycare. Or set up his own "work station" where you are. That might buy you a few minutes.

It is normal for children to get attached, but the best advice I can give is sometimes just be firm with him. If he realizes he's not going to get attention by whining and being bratty about it, he will entertain himself. If you have a baby proof area of the house that you can have him in where he can't get out but you can still keep an eye on him, leave him in there while you work. Yes, he will cry. No, it's not cruel. Kids have to learn to play by themselves at this age or they grow up with a very disillusioned view of the world. It makes it much harder when it comes time to interact in a school like environment. Half an hour to an hour a day is not an unreasonable amount of time for a toddler to entertain himself at first. Don't feel guilty. (impossible, I know.) But really, you are doing what is best for your child by forcing him to entertain himself some every day. It's difficult at first, but he will accept and learn that there are personal boundaries with other people. Good luck!

Of course he wants to be with you and having all of your attention, you are his best friend and the love of his life so far! It is very difficult to get anything done with a toddler around, my 18 month old demands constant attention most of the time too. Giving him things to do along side you may work part of the time, or working when he's napping if you can, but if you have to get things done as a WAHM during the day it might be better to hire a sitter to come over for a few hours so that he can have constant attention when you are busy, or send him to a daycare in another home for half days a couple times a week. Just don't ignore his need for your attention and for stimulation!

At this age it is hard for kids to play alone. I know it is annoying but it is normal (believe it or not). Maybe you could work during his nap time. You could also sign him up for a Mom's Day Out program. A lot of churches have them. The one my kids atended was from 10-2. They took a nap when they got home. Hope this helps.

I think it's pretty normal for a WAHM/SAHM....I worked fulltime and went to school full time with my first and he (at 6) is STILL able to play by himself for EXTENDED periods, but I started early, building up to 45 minutes, 2x/day of alone play time in a playpen.

My second, I've been a SAHM since she was born and she's able to play by herself for small interval.....like 5 minutes. Otherwise she wants to be held, or in my lap, or....you name it. It helps to put her in the highchair, give her some "cookies" (rice cakes) and water and that usually gives me 10 minutes to mop or sweep or something. Otherwise I have to wait for a nap. I've been ill continuously since she was born a year ago so it's just been easier to not hear her scream during play training as that kills my migraines. She's been spoiled in that way, though. So, given it seems we're in the same situation, I'd say it's normal for the lack of training.

I would try to start getting him used to other caretakers maybe through a mother's day out program or part-time daycare (if you can find it, though having used it I abhor daycare). Also, start trying to get him to play alone 5 minutes here and there in his playpen in a room where he can't see you...he'll scream alot at first but eventually you'll work up to an hour or so 2x/day.

At 16, 18 monhts I WOULD NOT allow a child to play alone unattended in a room without being in a crib or playpen. Too many things can happen (like when then-5 month old figured out how to pull the outlet plugs out and climb the bookcase via the piano - that was just 30 seconds while i was in the bathroom!)....

Good luck!

yep. hate to tell you. its normal. i'm not a WAHM, my son goes to daycare, so he is used to playing with others or alone, and he's like velcro to me at home. drives me nuts sometimes. I do try to get him to play in his room sometimes so he can learn to entertain himself. nothing really works, but sometimes i can get him to go in there and just play with his stuff.
no advice to make it stop though, mine is almost like a cat sometimes being under my feet! HAHA! Good luck!