My 15 Month Daughter Is Always Whining!

Only children can be trying at times. Our son is an only child and he has made it to 19 and we are all still alive and doing fine.
Unfortunately ignoring is a hard thing but sometimes that is what you need to do. Do not give her the satisfaction that she might be winning because let me tell you only children can be very smart. They learn really quick how to get things they want because they know they are the baby, the one and only baby. Our son did not talk til he was over 2 years old. We asked his doctor one day do you think there is something wrong? Should we get him checked out. We thought because he such ear problems when he was small and already had tubes put in there might be some problems. THe doctor did not say much at first be sat and talked to us for a while and the doctor said to us, "The problem is not with Hans (our son) it is with you." We said what?? He said "I took extra time with you today to really check your son out good and talk to you to see how Hans is really doing." He said, "Hans does not need to talk. I he has to do is point or move one way or another and you get him what he wants or do what ever whats with out him saying a word." When we stopped doing everything without even thinking he started to talk and ask for things. ONly children know the score and if they are the only Grandchild, they have more working for their side. They know how to get spoiled.
This is what I would suggest. When she has a fit come down to her level to talk to her. Tell her that you need to tell me in your own way what you want. Eye to eye is best when talking to a little one. Do not show any signs of being upset or made. Be kind but firm. You could even make up some card with the word water or milk and a picture of a bottle, or a picture of her favorite toy what she would like. It also is an exercise in early reading and speaking. You can ask her to say the name of the item. You can also give her bonuses for not whining and using the cards to ask you for something.
If you think she is being naughty and not just moody there is timeout and you can put at 15 month old in timeout.
Well there is a couple ideas, I could go on and on about raising an only child but not enough time. Also you can check out www.focusonthefamily.com and see what they have to say about the only child. Mr. Dobson I know wrote a book about the only child. I am sure he has some advice on that website.
Good Luck

Hello Connie:
I am happy to see another concerned mom, when you can pick up a wrong behavior at the beginning, it is much easier to change than a behavior that has turned into a habit. Habits are harder to break.

There are several way to handle a situation. I have two basic suggestions. Do not show any concern to your daughter that you do not like when she shows the attitude. Indirectly, right away drive her attention to another interesting Object, action , song, story, toy or anything that she likes,and makes her happy. It could even be the most loving word, that she likes to hear from you. Even
for example " honey, I love you I will pick you up in a minute"
but say it in such a loving way that her state of mind changes to a happy comforting and relaxing cool feeling.

For the car. recondition her mind by telling her ahead of time, now you are going to sit in the car seat like a good girl, you like the car seat , and you are happy in the car seat. Tell her few times in the day, if she is not very stubborn her conception about the car seat will change, and she might stop whining.

Some relaxing cool music can also be helpful for the car ride.

A baby's mind grows, learns and changes very fast in the first five years. Love and positive attitude brings things to a normal many times.
Good luck
FranA

I went thru the same thing. The trick is not to encourage the whining. When she whines, you cannot respond to her by giving her what she wants. She must learn that whining is a quick road to getting nothing. I let my little girl know that what she was doing was called whining and then I would remind her that whining gets you nothing. I would then encourage her to "use her words". Help her practice using one word to indicate what she wants. For example, get into the practice of not picking her up until she says (or at least tries to say) "UP". We taught our daughter a few signs that she still uses for "hungry" and "all done". When she wants a book read to her, have her say "please or book" or at least the beginning sound (like "puh" or "buh") and praise her for that. Now is the time when you start teaching them to use a single word to express what they want in lieu of whining. It's ok if after you have explained this to let her just sit there on the floor and have a tantrum. She is using that as a coping mechanism right now bc she doesn't have the words to communicate and is frustrated. That is going to happen the first few times as she tests you to see if you stick to what you said. And then she'll do it again every once in a while either to test you or bc she's tired or not feeling good. I just let my little one know that I want to pick her up but right now I just can't and sometimes that's just the way it is. Sorry you're sad--you'll be ok! YOU'RE NOT A BAD MOM WHEN YOU DO THAT. Just think, if you had 3 or 4 kids, the amount of attention she wants would be unrealistic--that is what I still have to remind myself sometimes!
You're teaching her valuable life skills right now--how to cope with her emotions. She can throw a fit and be miserable or she can choose to take an action to get the desired result. Yes, it starts this soon!
As for the car, I found at that age I really had to start being extra vigilant about giving her warnings about 10 minutes in advance of changing activities and starting something else. When they know what to expect they are much easier to live with! Let her know in advance that you're going to be going in the car soon for a ride and talk about what you'll do when you get wherever you're going. It's also good to say things like, "You're so helpful to mommy when you sit and behave in the car. Can you show me how well you can ride in the car?" My daughter liked books in the car in case you haven't tried that. Another big winner was a kids toy tv remote control that talks and sings when you press the buttons. I'd have never bought this for her but my parents got it for her for Christmas one year and it made car rides so much more peaceful! I think the screamy car ride is also a phase that will pass. Remember, right now they are realizing that they are no longer helpless blobs that have to lay around--they can choose to do stuff and as they try out that independence, they're gonna get frustrated when they can't call ALL the shots.
BTW: Love the idea of having cards for her to bring you and also, I cannot say enough good things about the ERGO BABY CARRIER. My daughter is almost 2 and we still use it. Sometimes they just need to be near you and that's normal and ok, too. With the ergo, your back doesn't get sore and you can wear her on your back, front or side so it's convenient even when cooking! When she's inconsolable, I still throw her in it and she's happy as a clam! In our culture we tend to ignore how close our babies want to be to us all the time. In other cultures they carry their kids in carriers for the first 2 or 3 years to keep them safe and so they can work but also because that's just what human babies need!
When they are becoming independent, especially, they also want to know they can come back and be your baby. Using a carrier them gives them that.
Lastly, this is also a good time to talk about "using your little voice and demonstrating what that means. Let her know she's hurting your ears when she screams.

Being held may be a way to fill her emotional tank. When my son is having a tough time with anger - hold and squeeze him--sometimes the deep pressure can help.

I wear my kids in a carrier when I'm doing household chores. Ergo is my favorite for small toddler.

I wouldn't want my emotional needs ignored. So I try to respond to my children.