I am having trouble with my mother in law. Lately, everytime I see her, she acts like she is ticked at me. She barely speaks to me. She gets like this every so often. I have been dealing with this for about 7 years now. We do family things with them a couple of times a month because my husband's extended family is so close and big. I enjoy this. Last week, my father in law had an ADULT Birthday party which the kids and I didn't attend. My husband did, however. My brother & nephew were in town and I haven't seen them in 3 months. This wasn't a kid party anyway. Now, she won't hardly speak to me. We have had issues in the past, and it has caused lots of friction with my husband and I. So much at one time, I thought seriously about DIVORCE. I love my husband, but I can't always feel like I am this awful person when I get around his mom. I have gone out of my way for her. Giving her thinking of you cards, flowers, etc. She watches my infant son during the day while I work so I have to see her EVERYDAY!!! I have asked my husband to mention this to his father, but I don't want to cause trouble with the 2 of them. My parents can't stand her because of my past with her and this is hard when it comes to our 2 families getting together. Just to give a little info on her-She drinks heavily on the weekends,(almost always buzzing real good or drunk at family functions) and is the kind of person who says exactly what is on her mind. She just rubs people the wrong way. I'm scared to say anything to her as I am a quiet, reserved, easy going person. Any advice in handling this difficult situation would be great.
Doesn't matter what kind of relationship it is, it takes two for it to work. My advice would be to ask her outright what is up (I am a straight-forward person) one-on-on. If she can't give a valid reason, then resourcing other ways for daycare and not dealing with her unless you have to. I have quickly learned in my short marriage that unless you are happy 100%, you will not be able to take care of everything else in a satisfactory manner.
J., I kind of feel like I understand what you are going through. When my husband and I first started dating my mother-in-law treated me a certain way, like I was taking her son from her and I wasn't good enough. It caused issues quite a bit when my husband and I were dating, I had never been around a mom that was so close to her son. She also spoke her mind and thought it was okay to tell people they were wrong in front of a crowd. It got to the point where my now husband and I were fighting because he didn't think his mom was saying or doing anything wrong. I had known from the moment I met my husband I would marry him but I couldn't deal with his mom. So finally I just confronted her. I told her that I didn't plan on changing her boy or keep him from talking to his family and that I didn't appreciate her belittling me in front of him or anyone else. It caught her by suprise and she just started apologizing to me (my husband is her oldest child and she still saw him as her baby...the usual...and her and my husband's dad were going through some issues at the time...they are both big drinkers...and I ended up being her verbal punching bag). That was about three years ago and we are now great friends. I know you said you a quiet, reserved person but sometimes you have to stand up for yourself and take charge. If you are stressing because of work and other things you can't control consider taking charge and going straight to your mother-in-law and talk to her. It will lift the weight and may resolve the issues completely. Good luck!
What ever you do dont let her get between you and your husband! my mother in Law was the same way! she might be wanting to come between you two, I dont know! I dont like my mother in law AT ALL! and she has tried several times to break up my marrage but my husband doesnt take it from her! I dont say anything to my mother in law but once i did!
Maybe if you just sit down and flat out ask her if she is mad at you or are you doing something she doesnt agree with! maybe its just a misunderstanding! Tell her how you feel! you can do it in a nice way! be the bigger person!
I have the same issue but with my father in law. We have been together for 2 1/2 years and from the molment he met me, he hated me. He thinks I am only with his sn for money which is not true and calls me horrible names and not matter what I do it is never good enough. When he comes to my house he disrespects me, my daughter, and my home. He will leave his stuff everywhere, doesnt hang up his bath towel, or make his bed. I know how he runs his home and he never does this in his own home. He ignores my daughters, which is not his son but he accepts her as his own. He has even went as far to ask his son if he would send me to my mothers or to a hotel when he comes down for christmas and make sure I wouldnt come to the house while he wa there. I told him no way in h e double hockey sticks. This is my house, I live here everyday and i take care of everything there is no way he is gonna take that from me just because he is coming down here. My fiance is an over the road truck driver and wont be home possible until christmas. There is no way he is taking him from me expecally if I havent seen him sciene august.
