My mother-in-law recently told my husband that she's going to do this favor for us. she's going to help us redecorate. Now, I really like her. She's good to us and I've always gotten along with her. Our house is simply decorated and since we can't paint or change anything much I don't know what to tell her. My husband like wolves and so do I. We have at least six pictures of them up. We also have family pictures up. They are not hung in any particular order or even arranged neatly. Her tastes run a little sophisticated for me. I have to very active boys. I don't want expensive furnishings because I'm afraid they'll get ruined. We don't own our house. We rent. How do I let her know I want our house to stay as it is without insulting her? I like to have my son's school pictures from art or graded papers up on the wall, not just the fridge. I don't know if this was his mom's idea and he agreed and now she's all excited or if she just wants it done. I'm sure this is going to be hotly debated but I don't know how to handle it. I really don't want to hurt her feelings. I love her so much and she is so good to us.
Everything went fine. My mother-in-law didn't really want to change anything but the window shades. Unfortunately, the one's she bought were too big. She understands that we can't change anything in our house and she hasn't mentioned it again. I know it's been a while sinse I posted this problem but it worked out fine. I'm really starting to become friends with her. She lives less than two hours away and I'm getting to know her better and better. She's more like a friend than a mother-in -law. It's great!! Thank you for all the advice. It really helped.
Have you thought of going shopping and putting in your opinion. It might be a fun project to do together. And you need to make sure that she knows what can and can't be done in your rental. It might be fun to have a change. Make a wall to have the art work in and have some fun with it.
Guess I subscribe to the age old philosophy don't burn your bridges. If you can't manipulate her into not doing it. Agree to go with her and pick it out with her. Make it seem like it will be fun to have a day together, and notate that she knows how picky you are!! In a joking mannerism of course. I mean is this really something to fight with her on. She is trying to be nice and help out. If you plain out refuse her she will get offended and you know how that goes.
Hi S.!
Alrighty then! Go shopping with her and have a hay-day!! So you can't paint and you don't want new things destroyed by your boys. That's ok! Now stop and think for a moment...you mentioned that both you and your hubby like wolves. You also said that you like to have your boys' work displayed on the walls. Simple! How about some special picture frames?? It will dress up your wall, you'll get to hang more of their stuff up, and MIL will be happy she helped. Here's another thing, look for more wolf decorations to hang about or put up where the boys can't reach. And have you thought of curtains? New curtains can change the entire presence of a room, as will, throw rugs! MIL will be happy because she was able to do something for you and you get a facelift for your house that doesn't hurt anything, or anyone. I only tell you all of this because, I too, wanted to help my oldest and she was exactly where you are. She made these simple suggestions and it made us both happy. She politely told me that she wasn't able to "redecorate" due to the lease, so we worked around it and everything we bought she was able to take with her to her new home. Worked out beautifully. Like Holly said, why offend her if you can work around it and have fun doing it? Hope it helps....
Just Me!
S.
S.,
Wow, that is a big and bold move for one woman to do in another womans home.
What are her ideas? If you are restricted that should be enough of a reason why she should not. Is she aware of the rental restrictions? Maybe that angle can really be used. You know thank you for the thought, but save your money because we cannot do a thing in here etc.
Where does the husband stand?
Good luck
Jen
hello i have personal exsperience with mother-in laws i dis own mine and my husband well he dis owns her too but this is what i can say just tell her till we buy a house to call ours then maybe will i let u help but till then we like it the way it is and just tell her we have our taste and we like it. i have indians and wolves as well not something my mom likes but i do hope that this helps ..hugs
Try being honest with her and tell her that as a rental, the landlord doesn't like the house to be re-decorated. Perhaps you can in return work on a mutual project together and decorate a room exclusively for a memorial, like a memorial wall.
L. M.
If you don't want the help from your mother-in-law, you must let your husband tell her no. Unfortunately, the average mother-in-law would hold that against your for the rest of your life.
Another thing your husband could do is tell her that you have the final say. She has to realize that it's your's and your husband's house. She can't make it her's. Good luck!
i am just a little confused. you didn't really say if you were planning on re-decorating. If you are,then whe not give her some specifics of what your looking for. Or go shopping with her.
If we really were planning on redecorating and you and your husband are happy the way it is, then you both need to just tell her that "it's a great offer, but we really don't want to redecorate right now." If your MIL was offering after one of you saying something about doing it, she should understand. If she was offering because she just doesn't prefer how it's done, then that's selfish on her part.
Maybe if you weren't planning on making changes you could have her help you reorganize things
