Moody 8 Year Old

I think that you should definitely put him in counseling. I say this bc I was a depressed child and was suicidal buy the age of 11. I wished every day that my mother would put me in some type of counseling but she didn’t. like most kids I was to “cool” to ask for help. I’m not saying your son will be suicidal but if he is struggling with issues of self esteem allow him the opportunity to talk to someone who specializes in helping ppl his age. Anything you say to try to be helpful will be dismissed as you are just his mom.

I am a mother of 4 and have watched many of children. 8 or 9 is the age for boys. I don't have any great answer except maybe try to get him involved in sports or something he enjoys. I tried doing something special with him once in a while(no other kids) School was also an issue-getting made fun of not many friends. My youngest son is now 11 and we are just hopefully coming out of all this,the bedwetting thing finally just disapeared and he has had friends spend the night! On a different note I have a 19 year old that had alot of the same issues as far as being down on himself and distant ect.. but had no problems with anything else by 12 he was better adjusted and happier. Good luck I kknow it is heartbreaking to see your children down in the dumps remember to tell him how much you love him and are proud of him. Only say this because my older one says I never did. Jodi

K.,

Bedwetting is often related to food allergies. His self image and learning disabilities can also be related to diet, digestion, etc. I am listed as a Natural Health Consultant in the advertising on this site if you want to follow up with me. S.

First, I would start by changing his diet. I found out that food affects mood. I notice that if I have too much caffeine or sugar, I become very moody and irritable. I got annoyed with a neighbor after drinking a slurpee one day. My 6 yr-old son is the same way. One day he had too much sugar and he was crying and irritable as well.

Pick up Dr. Sears' "Healthiest kid on the block". Try eliminating all white bread, candy, and other not so feel good foods and see if that makes a difference. It did with my son. He used to be behind with his reading and writing and seemed down and had low energy. Now that I'm monitoring his diet, he is happy, talkative, excelling in his school subjects.

If this doesn't work, then take the next step and see a counselor. Is there stress in your home? My husband and I used to argue a lot when my son was a baby and I think that hurt his development as well. Try building up his self esteem by telling him several nice things about him each day.

Good luck!

I would start by having him write down 5 things that he likes about himself. You can help encourage him. Tells funny jokes, knows a lot about (insert interest here), big baseball, football fan. etc. Once he can see some things that he likes about himself, he'll be on the right track. You should write down your 5 favorite things about him, too. I would take him to the counselor, but not if he's against it. Forcing him won't help. Also, if the bedwetting and the learning disability bother him, tell him, "So what. Lots of people with challenges go on to do amazing things!" Did you know that Kristie Yamaguchi, Olymic gold medalist skater was born with club feet?! If they can make penicilin about of moldy bread, just think what you could grow up to be!!

He's telling you how he feels so you should accept his feelings. In other words DON'T say "you shouldn't feel that way,- of course you're fine", etc...

Positive Actions
Then with HIS and your suggestions, help him take positive actions on each of the areas you mentioned to help him change them for the better. If he helps with coming up with suggestions on what to change to correct each issue, then he will be more likely to do folllow through on the action. Taking an action on a problem will create self esteem in him.

He can get on a weight loss plan, read up on the internet about how to stop bedwetting, and start a good tutoring program on reading and writing etc.
Remember to let him suggest how to correct the problems. Kids can usually come up with good ideas. Try using some of his ideas even though they don't sound helpful. This will make him feel important.

One of the things I had to do when my son was diagnosed with a disability back in grade school was always control the amount of mail seen by him from the school that mentioned the word "disability". If your child hears everyone telling him he has a disability then he will start acting out the part. Usually to the extreme.

Through the years I discreetly hid papers from school mentioning disability and downplayed any teacher telling me about his so called "disabilty", - especially when the teacher would want to talk about it in front of my son.

My son is graduating from high school this year and he made it through because he believed in himself and was able to excel even thought others thought he wouldn't.

I wouldn't take him to a counselor just yet because this might encourage the idea within himself that something is "wrong" with him.
God Bless

While I would tend to want to mark it up to it just being a stage in growing up. I would still take him to a counselor just in case it's more than that. Better to be a safe than regret later that you didn't and something happens to him. It's so sad that his is down on himself at such a early age. Good luck and God bless!

I have a 10 year old girl. When she was about 7 we went through a stage where she was very down on her about bedwetting. I stopped buying pull ups for bed time. Most of the time they leaked anyway. I invested in 2 high end mattress pads that had plastic built in, and vowed to do a lot of laundry. She still wets the bed, but now only once in a while, and usually when she is really tired. I always comfort her when it happens and tell her how much progress she is making. I help her remake her bed right after the shower, because she is very concerned about her bed not being made and her older sister knowing she wet the bed. We put her wet sheets right in the wash so nobody sees them.

I guess fortunately for me she did not face school problems until this year so I only had to conquer one emotional issue at a time. I found out that the reason she was being so h*** o* herself was because a bad teacher at school was being negative to her. I have always been a believer that positive redirection is the way to help a child's perception of themselves. I would try to set small goals for him, and encourage him to meet those goals. Read him a book tonight at bed time that you know he will enjoy, but can't get through himself, or a chapter of a book if it is a chapter book. Than tomorrow on the way to school let him try to read some of it to you. While you fold laundry or cook dinner let him read a little more to you. Sometimes if you have recently read it to him he will remember the words he does not know and accomplish reading a lot more than he thought he could. Use a lot of positive affirmation and talk to the teacher. They know where he is at and things you can do at home to help him.

As far as his weight, make an appointment for the pediatrician, and ask the Dr. to show him where he is on the graphs. Get the Dr. to tell him how healthy he is. Sometimes it helps to hear it from someone other than mom. Make sure before you go into the Dr. you actually explain to him the purpose of the visit and your concerns while your son is not around to hear anything you say to the Dr. Nothing would be worse than the Dr. not knowing and saying something that will hurt him more.

I know I wrote a lot, but I have such a heart for kids. I would adopt 20 of them and fix all there broken hearts if I could. You are obviously a very concerned mother. Trust your instincts and continue to love him. If the things you try from all the great advise you get from other moms don't help him have a more positive out look on life by this summer, I would not hesitate to talk to a counselor. Talk to him as well. Find out what he thinks he needs to do to fix what he perceives is wrong. He may say he thinks he needs to join a team to get more exercise. He may think he needs a tudor to help him in school. He may already know what he wants to feel better about himself.