Needing Ways to Handle Child with ADD?

I have a step son that is ADHD... for a while his mother did not want him on medication. After a year of struggling with school, taking away everything but his bed and dresser in his room at our house, grades dropping and having to put him at Sylvan to get him on track we finally had him tested for ADHD. My husband went to his private school and watched him in action on a TV screen, he litterally had NO CONTROL, my husband knew that no punishment was going to make it better. His mothers major concern was that she did not want him a zombie and did not want him on medication that he should be able to control it on his own. We took him to the pediatrician this dr did a blind study, he was on a dose of medication one week and we all had to fill out a survey including the teachers and Sylvan. The next week was a double dose and the other week was a placebo. We did not know what dose he was taking on which week, only the doctor and pharmacist did. Blood tests were also done. He was definately in need of the medication. The doctor put it this way - if your child was a diabetic would you not give him insulin? If he had a heart condition would you not give him heart meds? Our son was definately in need of a small dose of medication that has helped him immensely, he was a different child. He continues on medication 6 years later, however a different medication and has continued to go through the necessary blood work, etc. We did go without for a while because of some of the side effects and weight loss, however we did that in the summer time. The medication he is on now really works well. We did however read an article somewhere about there has been some studies that children with mild cases of ADD or ADHD have had some improvement with taking Omega 3 - fish oil... we did not see a diffence in our son going this route. Some children can learn different techniques but it takes daily counseling and patience galore... there were a couple of really good "Super Nanny" programs that I recorded that she delt with ADHD children... There is even a parent group - out there that you can get lots of information. The main thing is learning which buttons you can and can not push with a child with ADHD, or ADD for that matter. You have to deal with them TOTALLY different than normal children, things have to be explained more so with our child.
Hope this helps....
M.

1 mom found this helpful

If the child is truly ADD then he most likely cannot control the behavior to the extent that he needs to at school. It is a chemical imbalance and requires medication. There are medications available that are not stimulants if that is the parents concern. My son is ADD and I did not want to put him on medication at all. We tried everything for over a year and finally gave in and tried medication. Within 3 weeks his conduct had improved and his grades were on their way up. Within 6 weeks he was back to making straight A's. As the child matures he may be able to handle his condition without the medication. I do agree that some parents and physicians are too quick to put an "unruly" child on ADD medication but in some instances it is really needed. If your child had diabetes would you give him insulin shots? They are both diseases, why not try the medication for ADD and see if it helps the child? Withholding it from him may actually be doing more harm than good. I would recommend taking the child to someone who is an specializes in ADD as opposed to a general practicioner.

Good luck - I know it is a difficult situation.

1 mom found this helpful

A., I'm so glad you asked. I have a similar situation with an adopted child. When my husband and I began researching ways to help him, we discovered a remarkable company called Nikken. Nikken has a whole-person approach to wellness that incorporates a concept called the five pillars of health. I was so impressed with the company, their products, their integrity, and their business plan that I went to work for them. To learn about the five pillars of health, please visit my website at www.nikken.com/brendaramsey. The website has videos explaining how Nikken products can change your nephew's life.

I heard a recorded message from a noted pediatrician, Dr. Melanie Caldwell, a Georgetown University graduate. Dr. Caldwell saw in her practice lots of children with asthma, ADHD, obesity and diabetes. Fifty percent of her patients had ADHD, and she found herself writing over 600 prescriptions per month for stimulant drugs to treat it. She was frustrated, though, because despite continued use of drugs, the childrens' symptoms never improved. Dr. Caldwell discovered Nikken and began her own, informal clinical trials with her patients.

Dr. Caldwell believes that the most significant cause of ADHD is a sleep disorder. It's a chicken/egg situation. Which came first--does poor sleep cause ADHD, or does ADHD cause poor sleep? No one knows for sure, but in Dr. Caldwell's trials she put her patients on Nikken's sleep system at night, and in special, therapeutic shoes all day, and their sleep, and their symptoms improved. In fact, over 80 percent of her patients saw dramatic behavioral improvement. She recommends Nikken products exclusively now, and no longer recommends stimulant drugs, because the Nikken products work.

Nikken's Wellness Home concept addresses water quality, air quality, fitness, nutrition, and sleep. Improving all these areas can radically improve a multitude of health conditions. Dr. Caldwell recommends them all, but specifically recommends starting with a sleep system for children with ADHD. I found it very helpful with our son. He used to thrash around all night and wake up with his covers in a heap at the foot of the bed. When he slept on the Nikken sleep system, he woke up with his covers intact, and said he felt much more rested. He was considerably more clear-headed as well. It made a very noticable difference. We have him on several of the Nikken nutritional products now, and look forward to adding to our Wellness Home as finances allow.

Please don't think I'm just trying to sell you something. I've seen these products change lives, and I truly believe in them. They could help your nephew.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi A. my aunt has a son with the same problem and she hates giving him meds.also so what she tryed and it has worked so far she sit him down and talked with him about the things he was doing at school so she told him if he could go to school all week with out geting in to trouble we will go have a day of fun on the weekend like takeing him to movie are to chukiecheese's she will let him pick what he would like to go do and that has worked for over 3mos now,so maybe yall could try that and girl you are a blessing to those childern that need somebody i wanted to be a foster parent as well but then i got sick with some health problems so never got around to it thankyou for loving those little angels god bless you.

1 mom found this helpful

You are a wise woman with a great love for children, you rock!
I have a 7 yr old who has had mild symptoms since he was 2. We looked into see if he had any food allergies, sensitivities to food additives and preservatives. We took him off processed foods, sugary (real and sugar substitutes), and anything with food coloring. He did improve after trying this new diet, but still had temper tantrums, concentration problems and an unability to process his emotions. Things improved greatly when we put him on a childrens DHA supplement from my local healthfood store.It's made from 100% arctic cod liver oil which promotes brain development and visual function. The brand he takes is Nordic Naturals Children's DHA. They are chewable oil caplets with a nice strawberry flavor. My son asks for them everyday. After being on them for two months he is a happy, confident, peaceful child.( Granted we do have regular tempers flair up but not the rage that he had before)
His teacher at school is so impressed with his reading improvement( he is on level now).
Also, look up www.loveandlogic.com, these cd series have transformed they way I talk to my kids, and adults for that matter. They teach you how to parent in a way that helps children devlope great character and responsibility. Check it out.
Blessings on you and the littles ones you love.

1 mom found this helpful

I highly recommend a book called: Healing the New Childhood Epidemics.

Give him coffee or green tea. The caffeine calms them down. Just remember to send some in his lunch as well.

Here is some perspective from an ADD mom with an ADD child:

a. Medication is NOT a moral failing.
b. Research shows that a combination of medication, behavioral counseling and diet is the best way to help people with ADD

Everybody is different, and there are several types of ADD. My son and I are both the "combined" type. Our body chemistry responds to stimulant medications - not necessarily connected to being ADD combined type. The non-stimulant varieties do nothing for me. Believe me, for nearly 40 years, I've tried them all and then some. I tried going off of meds - I thought I didn't need them. I was wrong and made a lot of bad life choices for a lot of years, which is common for untreated ADD.

Check food labels. You don't have to go all organic. Just stop buying food with high fructose corn syrup and a list of ingredients you can't pronounce. Yes, I've noticed that just about everything in the grocery store has HFCS, but there are lots of items that don't.

A high-protein diet is important. Start the day with at least two protein sources. Proteins with Omega 3 fats are best (eggs are easy).

I don't have anything against so-called "natural" remedies. Many can be helpful, however, there are so many variables. The quality is not consistent, nor are the products regulated. They may not be used in a quantity or a frequency that gets the desired results. Many work, but in combination with other factors, like diet, meds, etc.

Lastly, if your sister and her husband do not like the idea of medicating for illnesses and disorders, they should choose not to take in foster children with illnesses and disorders. They could be prosecuted for refusing to provide appropriate medical care.

Ohh I need to see these answers and I guess the only way is to respond. I don't know maybe try googling it if you don't find what you are looking for. I've also heard that changing the childs diet works.

My son is ADHD. He is currently taking concerta. He tried stratera. It did not work for him. Unfortunately he does have to take medication so that he can focus at school. Otherwise his mind is moving at a fast pace.

Hi A.-

I don't have a child with ADD, but I do have a child with autism, and many of the possible treatments are similar. Has your sister tried changing his diet? For many a gluten-free/casein-free diet works well. Also, there is new research that suggests that a large percentage of children diagnosed with ADD are actually misdiagnosed and their behavioral problems are actually related to sleep disorders. If he snores, has enlarged tonsils, or shows any signs of sleep apnea, your sister should take him to an ENT. For many children removal of the tonsils leads to dramatic changes in their behavior. All of this can be researched on line. You'll come up with a lot of info about both the diet and the connection between ADD and sleep disorders if you google it.

Good Luck,
K.

I work in an elementary school. I work with kids on a daily basis that are either ADD or ADHD. I also have a son that is ADHD. For years, my husband fought me about putting him on medicine. He adventually got labeled as the bad kid. To this day (he just turned 30) he still complains about always having the finger pointing to him when something went wrong - both at home and school. I realize now, I did him an injustice. We finally put him on medicine when he was in 7th grade. What a difference it made. Kids with ADD NEED the medication to help them focus. Kids with ADHD need it even more. IF he does better at home, then let him be medicated during school days only and not in the afternoons, weekends or holidays.
Don't make the mistakes I made - it will come back to haunt you!

She might get him tested for food allergy's my friend's daughter was having problems at school and ended up being allergic to several foods
good luck
jacki

A.,

As a Mom of 2 ADHD children who were never put on meds this is what I have to offer.

There are several herbs that can be used but the most important element is helping the child understand what and why is going on in his head. Therapy for both of you will be beneficial. This is a mental disease and can be helped with meds but not control only with meds. Not knowing the age of the child I cannot tell you where to start with the therapy.
If you can identify the symptoms yourself you can control them without meds. It is easier for the teachers to have the kids strung out on meds than it is easier for them to deal with them. But that is what the Special Ed in our school is supposed to be all about.

My children when acting out usally was because they did not know how to handle something totally different than what they were getting in trouble for. In other words my son would get fidgety in his chair (even get out of the chair in class)because he had a hard time understanding an assignment.

But as far as herbal meds go: St. Johns Wort as well as Ginkgo and Fish Oil as daily doses help greatly. These help with in effect sharping in the brain so one may control ones actions better.

Your sister has taken on a egnormous task and should be greatly commended for it, she will be in the long run with the success of her child.

Please feel free to e-mail me or call me for 1 on 1 talk either you or your sister.

J.
____@____.com

My husband is a chiropractor and has seen great strides with children with ADD and getting regulare chiropractic care. Check out these websites for more details.
www.chiro.org/research/ABSTRACTS/ADD.shtml
www.icpa4kids.org/research/chiropractic/adhd.htm
www.chiro.org/pediatrics/ADD.shtml
www.alternativementalhealth.com/articles/chiro.htm

Hello A.,

My name is S. and I am a nurse and nutritional advisor with AdvoCare. AdvoCare SPARK is a healthy and natural alternative to the medications. It is a sugar-free, sodium free, vitamin based drink. A study has been done to show that SPARK is more effective in children with ADD than the other medications. Please give me a call or email me and I will send you the Texas Tech Study.

My husband and I drink SPARK daily and my daughters age 13 and 8 years old both drink spark for the mental focus and clarity they receive for school. Children love the taste.

Have a Blessed Day!
S.
email:____@____.com

I hate to say it, but I think the truth is that your sister did make a mistake. It was with the best of intentions, but unfortunately she's hurting more than she's helping by treating medications as the root of all evil. She gave it her best short for a year, which I think is a lot longer than she should have, but I think it might be time for her to admit that sometimes the experts do know what they're talking about.

ADD is not caused by a child not wanting to behave, and punishments and rewards only help in the latter case. Your sister's son CAN NOT HELP HIS BEHAVIOR, and punishing him for it is just cruel. You say your sister and her husband "don't like the idea of medicating a child," so lets say that child had an infection. Would they give him antibiotics, or would they let him suffer because they don't like the idea of medicating a child? I know that example sounds a little extreme, but ADD is a condition, not a behavioral issue. Certainly, medication is not always the answer, even for ADD, but I think your sister--and her poor son--have learned the hard way that in his case it probably is. I'd recommend she have a long talk with her son's doctor about the least invasive and lowest dosage of medications her son can try, and start from there.

Carol P had the right ideas. Just an example, I have a 25 year old cousin that was put on meds to help the ADD/ADHD when he was in 5th grade or so and was on them until he was out of school. In the summer his mom would let him go without the meds unless his stresses got too much for him to handle in his own mind. It is very hard for those who suffer behavioral or mental disorders to cope with life and the meds make it a little easier for them when other strategies are not working. They will not be bad parents for putting him back on his meds, just imagine how aweful it must be to him to feel like "how much of a pain he must be". My cousin at 25 thanks his mom for letting him be on medication after waiting for so long because she and his father were against medication. He says he would have never made it through school and would have never been able to develope the relationships he developed. Best wishes to your family.

I am the mother of three adult sons, two which had ADD/ADHD. One is still ADHD even as a 20 year old. He still must take medication on occasion to manage his disorder and he determines when that must be done. It is often difficult to manage this disorder without the help of medication. She needs to find a pediatrician or psychiatrist who specializes in children with ADD/ADHD and work closely with that doctor. While I understand your sister's desire to not have her child on medication, this is not about what your sister wants but what is best for her child. If he is getting in trouble at school, that is very frustrating and upsetting for him. Also punishing an ADD/ADHD child for being ADD/ADHD is also upsetting and frustrating and unfair. It can be a challenge parenting ADD/ADHD children but believe me, the end results are worth it. My oldest son is a college graduate and now a 1st LT in the Army, my middle son is a fire fighter in the Air Force and going back to college to become a chef and my youngest son is in college as a sports management major. I wish your sister the best.
D.

the first thing to do is to pray over the child - it is not his fault - it is spiritual issues probably from the birth parents - i have worked with alot of these kids & they need love & understanding - i know it can tire you out but i have seen amazing results with prayer,,,

I looked this up for myself awhile back. If she can elliminate all (most) processed foods and have him eat more natural foods - like fruits and vegatables. Make him a protein shake before school. I went to mercola.com and typed in ADD and hyperactivity and found lots of information. I also went to the health food store and vitamin store and you can get an "herbal" alternative to ritlin. The one at the vitamins store is called "Attention." There are lots of information on the web for alternatives to the drugs, but it takes determination and hard work to inforce the new eating habits. I found that my son's hyperness increases dramatically and in just a few minutes if he eats anything with red dye - even red bubblegum. Check out mercola.com and google "ADD" and you'll find lots of info. Good luck.
L.

I know I'm always hesitant about the thought of the meds to, I have a suggestion about natural remedies but let me finish tellig you this first. My friend has a daughter that she tryed everything with her last resort was meds because of working at a pedi office and because of her husband didn't want thier daughter on meds. Anyway after much though and knowing and seeing what worked best on the patients that she saw come thru the doc office she decides on concerta and it has been a life saver. Her daughter was acting up in class everyday and she'd get calls everyday and she'd just hang her head and cry so now her daughter hasn't had anymore problems. She's actually alot better to be around. Okay as far as natural remedies its hard you have to be disciplined and organized in maintaining their diet. My sil swears by it who has 3 boys a year a part and have add. add and adhd it is called DR. BOBB'S GUIDE TO STOP ADHD IN 18 DAYS By Dr. Robert DeMaria
Good luck

Good luck! I tried everything for my son and nothing worked but, I've never tried meds because my husband was so against it and now that he is 18 I wish I put him on meds years ago. His behavior is under control now that he went through puberty. But, trust me it was pure hell from K-12th grade and when I thought it was getting better it got worst in the 11th grade and I had to pull him from public school and pay for a private school where he went when he liked and finished at his leisure. Which cost a bundle of money. My advise to you the behavior never get better with age and once they hit puberty it gets worst and the older the child is the less the teachers will take from them. I'm not sure in your case if meds is the answer but, I wish I had tried meds when he was in school. Just a little note one school years his behavior was so bad I had to visit his school everyday from 1 Oct to 12 Jun in order to keep him under control that was 2nd grade. Good luck to you and your family he maybe a handful but, I am sure he is loveable and wants to do good but, because of he ADD or ADHD it's preventing him for acting appropriate.
Faythe

You dont say how old the boy is. I can tell you that in my opinion, if the diagnosis is correct, he would benefit from medication. I have a grown daughter who is 28 years old now. She was so much better on medication.

I also would advise your sister to find a parenting group that has a trained psychologist to help her with coping measures. Most people fail to realize how severe a problem ADD and ADHD is. He needs to be able to focus. Without med's he cant focus. This is not just a problem for today it will affect him through out his entire life. If he cant focus he will not learn from his life experiences. This results in a failure to mature. ADD and ADHD children are 30 percent less mature than other children their age. He probably needs to be evaluated as to what grade he should be in. Remember that no matter how bright the child is, if he is not mature enough to handle the responsibilities at school,he will be unable to do what is expected of him.

Try to imagine how frustrating school is for him. The teacher stands up in front of the class and says 1. Sit down 2. Be quiet. 3. Take out your English book. 4. Turn to chapter 3.

He might get # 1 or # 3 or maybe # 4.

He is lost. No amount of rewards, punishment what ever are going to change his behavior. HE CANT HELP IT! This will cause self esteem issues if left untreated.

When my daughter was on medication she matured, she learned and she behaved. When she was off med's. She couldnt get her school work done. She was unmotivated and she felt really bad about herself.

I could go on and on about this subject but the bottom line is they need to get help for their new son and for themselves especiall before he becomes a teenager!!

I hope that my experience will help. I am no expert just a parent who has watched her child suffer with this disability her whole life.

My son had a problem with misbehaving at school. We took him to the doctor to find out if he had some form of add, adhd, or if it was something else. Before his second appt I found a trick that works for him to think of behaving at school. Its worked for me for the past 3-4 weeks. He's only come home maybe with 4 bad marks since. What I did was have a talk with him about breaking mommys heart when he came home with reds on his folder. (Reds mean he misbehaved at school greens mean he did really great.) He was upset because he thought it really did break mommys heart so anyways I started drawing hearts on both of his hands so he could see my heart on him. I know it sounds so small but it has been working for me and even if he has pink hearts he still thinks about how he is acting. I hope this might help you on some ideas to try.

Please heed Rachel's advice. This child needs his medication; this is no different from a diabetic child who needs insulin. There has been research for many years on long term effects--there are no bad ones. There are however poorer outcomes for children with ADD who are not appropriately treated. To my knowledge, there has been no proof that alternative treatments work. Certainly structured environment, counseling, support groups help and are very valuable. The right medication for the right child can work wonders.

Hi A.,

Try checking out this website:
http://www.oil-testimonials.com/7532 Go to search and type in ADHD. Here you can find how others have dealt with this disorder in an all natural way and have had great results. I am happy to help you with this. You can also visit my website at: youngliving.org/sherylhawkinson or simply email me. I have a couple of other suggestions for you. I worked with children for many years and have seen how many of the Dr.'s have felt the need to just medicate these precious children. There are other solutions!

Hey A.,

Just wanted to say that I am going through the same thing with my 6 year old son. He was diagnosed with ADHD and I was told that it would be best for him if I put him on Ritalin. I really did not like this idea and struggled with it quite a bit. Things just kept getting worse and I saw his self esteem go to a very bad place. Finally, another Mom and very dear friend of mine said to me, "You wouldn't deny him insulin if he was a diabetic, would you? He needs this medicine. Give it to him." It was a lightbulb moment for me and I finally did. James is in a much better place now. I also have him in therapy for behavior modification so we aren't just giving him medicine, we are trying to help him find ways to cope naturally as well. The medicine has bought us a little time and has saved his sense of self-worth. Whatever your sister decides, good luck to her. And good luck to you!

Best,
V.

Go to the healthfood store and they have several Vitamins that are very good to control ADD. I understand about not wanting to medicate but they have to understand that this is a Chemical imbalance in the Brain and needs to be treated as such. The medication can provide that chemical the brain needs to function properly. It is our responsibility to care for our kids and it is sad when parents are thinkiong they are doing what is best for their child but they are setting him up for failure. By allowing him to get into trouble in school constantly he will be labeled by the teachers and treated as such. This is what happened to us and our child. AIn the third grade it got so bad that she was in trouble constantly and we were at our wits end. We had trouble at home but nothing like what they had to deal with at school. We got her to the doctor and discussed what options we had as far as meds. We came to the decision to use CONCERTA since it was the least invasive, within 1 week she was able to sit and do her school work with out bothering anyone and she became a STRAIGHT A student. By the 4th grade she was the most loved by her teacher and became the teachers helper all year. It was the turning point in Her life as well as ours.
Don't get me wrong we still have our ups and downs as she is 12 now (still on the one med) but can make better choices and can control the behavior to the point that she has started to achieve to GATE level Which is a big accomplishment. Just tell them to check with the DR. Please for the Childs sake. It is unjust to allow him to be so confussed everyday.
Give him the parenting and guidance he needs to accomplish his life goals.
Jill

As parent we tend to think that medication is not the solution, I had to learn the hard way. I have a child that is now 17 years old and will be 18 years old in a few months. We have learned that medication has helped, she has more control of her life since she started taking the medication in elementry, she started with another medication that we did not like at all unti the doctor introduced us to strattera.
Try the medication and see if it helps if it does not then take him off. The doctor will know what dosage to give then increase or decreas as you see how he reacts to the medication. I had to do that with my daughter, we started with 60 miligram then went to 80 then back to 100 I didn't like how it made her into a sombi and took it back down to 80mg, I like to see my daughter act like a normal person not a out of control child and still today if she does not take the medication she has troble concentrating with things she is try to accomplish and her actions. She is diagnose ADHD with a Learning disability and she is A honor role student and waiting to pass the TASK test that they take in the State of Texas. I am glad I change my decision about my child taking medication. We have came to a reality that she might have to take medication to keep her on track and that is okay as long as she continues to do good, for herself.
I am very proud of her. Also keep your child active with something they like to do, that will help them learn control. I hope this help.

i am learning that ADD and other similar afflictions are NOT behavioral problems - but brain problems. Although in a small controlled setting, such as at home, the symptoms can be greatly controlled by a VERY structured environment, at school the teachers do not have the time, or the willingness to do so.

My niece and nephew are both ADD, and although i can control them easily at home without meds because running a structured house is easier for me, my sister cannot. She has leaned towards keeping them on Meds while at school and not while at home.

I totally understand your family's hesitance to keep a kid on meds - but it is not fair to set the kid up for failure either. The ADD is beyond their control. And I guess in a way, it is really not others problem either.

I think they should resume giving a low dosage of the med while the child is at school so the child can function there as needed. Then they need to do a LOT of reading on the internet to educate themselves about ADD and to find the natural alternatives they seek.

Good luck.

My mom was able to raise me, a very ADHD child, without meds. From finding out in elementary school to high school, she used diet. I was not allowed to have anything sugary. Sugary cereal, candies, sodas, etc. She ever limited my carbs. In high school and the first years of college I was on natural remedies that you can get at GNC, it is called DHA and there are others that have attention in the name.

My younger brother in law who is also ADD has taken DHA for years and it has worked great for him. He is now a senior in high school.

Hi A., Has anyone ever considered the possibility that he has Sensory Integration Disorder, rather than ADD? My son was recently diagnosed with ADHD as well as Sensory Integration Disorder. A psychologist obviously diagnoses the ADHD but an Occupational Therapist diagnoses with Sensory Integration Disorder. My best friend is an OT and told me to completely ignore the ADHD diagnosis for now. The behavioral issues caused by the two mirror one another. If medication is not working for him, it may very well be a sensory integration disorder. We are starting Occupational Therapy in 3 weeks. If his behavioral problems improve tremendously, I will know it was 100% sensory related. They did say it may not solve every problem and he may have ADHD too. We will only know after therapy. However, we are certain he has sensory issues and I'm already seeing a MUCH easier kid with the tips they've given me to use at home. There's no sense in sharing these with you now because I don't know what kind of behavioral issues you are dealing with any they are specific to every child. Anyway, if you are interested in having him evaluated, talk to your pediatrician who can write up a prescription for OT. Ask them for an OT recommendation. I personally recommend an OT who has a gym like facility rather than those who come to your house. I hope I don't offend anyone here, I just personally feel like the gym is going to give a more aggressive treatment initially. Anyway, I'm getting ahead of myself. Talk to your pediatrician about this. See if he/she thinks this is a possibility and worth a look at. Feel free to email me personally if you have any questions. Good luck! ____@____.com up Sensory Integration Disorder online. See if the symptoms sound familiar.

I agree with Rachel.. When I put my son on meds (he is on Ritalin), I cried and cried because I was putting him on speed. It's very hard for a mom to cope with putting a child on medication for a duration of time. It's been 4 years now, and he is passing school, has friends, is socially accepted, and is having a wonderful childhood.. Before, he didn't have friends, he was failing and misbehaving in school. Good luck!

There are natural ways to deal with this as far as I know when they are not extreme. You might try to work through a DO instead of an MD. They always work through diet before trying any meds. That way he is under a doctor's supervision (to appease the school system), and yet you are trying wholistic approaches than just relying on meds alone. The school has to work with what the doctor orders and if he's not under a doctor, you will have a harder fight with the school system. You might have to shop around to find one you like, but DOs are much more prone to work with diet and other remedies first. Summer is coming up and I would find one now. That way you have some time to work with your son and the new diet and new behavior management before going back to school. I wouldn't delay. This gives a great opportunity to control his environment with the new change.

Try the natural herbs. You can find them at the Green Market Store or in the Health Food stores. Ask for advice on what would be best to use depending on how old the child is. One is called Concentrate, Focus Factor, and Calm Child etc. Calm Child is best to use before bedtime. I have the herbal syrup drops. I have a 8(ADHD) and 5 year old. My 5 year old has not been diagnosed, yet. So when they don't wind down to go to bed. I give a few drops in their drink in the evening to calm them down so they can go to bed. Be sure and ask your childs doctor to see which you two think might work best for the child.

I don't have any other ideas except lots of exercise, change in diet, support groups, research, and doctor's advice. I am so impressed with the moms who can keep their kids off medication. I hope she finds something that will help!

I have a 15 year old daughter with ADHD. I was against putting her on medicine for a long time, but, when I was at my wits end I decided to try it. The difference was so huge and she was much happier. Her grades improved miraculously! I don't think it's fair to punish a child with this disorder when he's doing something he can't control. I don't like giving my child medicine either, but, it made her quality of life so much better. I don't think you did him a big favor by taking him off of his medicine. Also, we go to therapy with a psychologist. You may want to try this first. The doctor may be able to recommend something else.

My 8 year old was just diagnosed with ADD and at first we were against meds too. But, we decided to give it a go because no other interventions were working. He is taking Concerta and it seems to be working great. He likes it just fine and isn't feeling side effects. If at any time we or he feels that the meds are counterproductive we will consider other options, but I think being flat out against meds is the wrong solution. Drugs like Concerta stay in the system for less than 12 hours and do not accumulate in the blood so if there are side effects or the kids seems like a zombie you can rest assured that the effects will wear off within a couple hours. Talking to an ADD kid about why he did something is fruitless because he probably doesn't know why. If he has the impulsive type meds are probably the best option.

We are also going to start behavioral therapy in combination with the meds. A combination of therapy and meds has shown to be the best option. Parent training is probably a good idea as well. It can be tough dealing with ADD and seeking therapeutic intervention is a good idea.

I have read a lot of solutions that are diet based. And I believe diet is major and not just for ADHD but for depression and all sorts of things. That being said, you have to be realistic. Cutting everything from the diet other than soy and fish might not be necessary. Try going gluten free for a while and see what happens. And then maybe try going dairy free. Try just eating organic veg and fruits and lean meats. The worst that could happen is that everyone loses weight and gains energy! But be realistic about what is feasible for the family. I don't pump my kid full of junk or processed food, but it is not feasible for us to cut out all dairy, gluten, sugar, etc. I typically cook lots of veg and lean meat and use a little bit of olive or nut oil, whole grains, and natural nut butters. The food I provide my family is nutritious and realistic.

I'm not saying meds are good, but I disagree with another mom who believes taking these meds will lead to future drug use. I think there is more a chance of future drug use in a kid who has low self esteem, few sustainable friendships, and can't concentrate at school.

Don't be rigid about treatment options! All show potential from meds to herbal remedies to Mountain Dew in the morning! But what the parents are doing right now is clearly not working so it is time to move on to Plan B. And when that is not working, move on to Plan C. Good luck!

Sometimes medication is necessary. Or look into food allergies. Allergies are a big trigger to behavorial problems.

Has your sister considered home schooling? At school there are a myriad of distractions, but learning at home might be more conducive. Additionally, it takes much less time to teach one child, than 1 teacher working with 20 or more children, plus all the extra transitions, dealing with behaviors, etc. It would also be possible to allow the boy to take breaks when he needs to do so.

Home schooling coupled with what someone else recommended with diet may prove to be a good solution to deal with ADD if your sister would like to avoid meds. There are many great curriculums out there that provide everything a parent needs without having to prep anything. Right now I'm looking at purchasing Sonlight for my oldest son, but there are many more out there. Austin has a great home schooling conference every summer called CHEACT, and San Antonio has one called FEAST.

Good luck! I hope your sister can find something that works.

First of all you should do a search on the internet for alternative solutions for Attention Deficit Disorder. Many parents say they have had luck with diets and other things. So this is an option that I would encourage you to explore. I would also like to say though that when the right medication is found and properly give these children with ADD can do sooo much more. I think it is important not to listen to all the horror stories about medication and think along the lines of if your child was diabetic would you not give them the proper medication. This child is missing out of the skills they need in school because, if appropriately diagnosed, they cannont help that they cannot pay attention in school. I truly think it is ashame that this child is not on medication. If they need it then I beleive it is wrong to expect the child to do something that is nearly impossible. I challenge you to do research on ADD and you will see that it truly is a chemical imbalance in the brain. This child needs to be seen by a physician and should be on medication if alternatives have not worked. The medications for ADD have come a very very long way and have very mimimal side effects. The parent may think they are doing what is right by this child by not giving them meidation but in the end when they have not been able to obtain the skills they need in school to be successful everyone has lost.

BIG KUDOS TO THEM for not wanting to medicate the child!! I fully agree with her- there are so many alternatives to medication!

A lot of research shows that ADD can be helped by diet. Although we try, we just don't get the recommended amounts each day. My family all takes a dietary supplement that has the full day's dose of fruits & veggies. They have capsules for the adults & gummies for the kiddos- our son LOVES them! and my hubby generally takes the gummies too LOL.

There are also behavioral things you can do to help them learn to focus. ie: martial arts is one of the biggies I've heard.

The other thing I want to say is this- are you certain it is ADD? It seems like so often lately it is misdiagnosed. He may be having behavioral issues due to the changes in his life, or not being stimulated enough at school, etc... There are so many alternatives which may influence his behavior.

Best of luck to her! And kudos to both of you for taking on these children in need of families & love!

I think the book "Raising Your Spirited Child" by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka, while not specifically about children with ADD, would be very helpful. There's a workbook, too.

I am currently testing my sone by giving him mountain dew. Sounds strange, I know. But so far it is working. I have tried almost anything but meds, myself. My son is only 5 and I don't want to load him up with meds if I don't have to. My sister sent me this link to look into it http://www.come-over.to/FAS/MtnDew.htm. I give my son about 8 oz in the morning before school, andfor a whole week he has behaved almost perfect. One day he was a little hyper close to the end of the day. It is a low cost way to see how severe the issue is. But either way, I would always recommend asking a good doctor for his/her opinion. Good luck!

Hi A.! I have a parent dealing with this same situation with her son. She refuses to put him on meds as well. She took him to a Hloistis Doctor( he believes in natural healing) and of course all his problems can be fixed with the foods he eats. IE.. sugar free, gluten free, wheat free, no dairy, only soy, and organic meats and fruits. It took her son 2 months before she started to see a change. And as his teacher I finally noticed it too( it was such a blessing to see him not act up in class for one day). This is an expensive way because these foods are more pricier. If this is the approach your sister wants to go with I am so for it. Everything is all natural. There is also a book out there. He has an infomercial and the book is like $75, but you can go to the local Library and get it for $5.00 His name is Kevin Trudeau. He has afew books out and they are really good. I recommend it. Tell your sister Good Luck, Pray and dont give up!!!!

Hello there - I would definitely advise trying medicines - I hate to see kids suffer because their parents, while it is understandable, don't want to put them on medicines. Medicine has made a huge difference in my child's life. I look at the medicine as a wonderful blessing that can help him, rather than something to be avoided. If your child could not see, would you not let him wear glasses just because you didn't want him too? I would strongly encourage at least a trial of medicine - usually the answer becomes obvious when you see the difference it makes. Of course, medicine can be changed to something else, or the dose increased or decreased if there are side effects, if it's not working, etc. Maybe even someday he won't need it anymore. The kid's life is going to be hard enough with ADD as it is - don't make it any harder for him! Give him the help he needs. In my experience, all those other things might help a little, but don't work to nearly the degree that medicine does. Good luck!

A.,
I know that what they eat has alot to do with how they behave.
So check on the diet. The teacher needs to find things for
the child to do, keep them busy, most of the time they are done with there work way before anyone else and they have to be moving around Most important getting the teacher to be positive and loving with the child will turn them around THis is a big load. Tell you sister it does not matter if the child is adopted her own, we never know what the package will bring, just love is what we need to give.

I have a child with ADD and am taking a natural approach but it can be just as hard as putting them on medication and I am as well wondering if I am making the right decision. You need to go see the doctor and talk with them about what they would suggest to do. There are more natural type of meds as well as controlling with diet and exercise. From what I have been told by my doctors is to control the foods that will put to much sugar in the blood stream. Which of course means desserts but it also means breads, certain fruits, potatoes, pasta ect... which is very hard on my child. I am afraid of it causing a eating disorder because she feels as though her food is controlled to much. But this also goes with her personality and love for the other foods. You are suppose to control the diet for the week days and the weekends be their free days to eat what they want (with some guidance). Which can make for a herder weekend but they do need that time of having some control on what they eat or they will start sneaking it. There are some food and dyes that cause higher trouble in your child such as red dye. You just need to motor there behavior after eating different foods and notice ones they might react to the most. They also suggest 1 hour of Physical activity. Not just normal out side play. They need to run, ride there bike, play a game sport ect...This helps control the adrenaline. Then it also just takes understanding how they think and adjusting there life to help them cope. The school needs to be supportive and try to help with different teaching and really even a little different standards. These children are smart they just have a hard time showing it. Also remember that you need to work side by side with the school as well. I pray you find a solution and would like to hear what you decide to do and if you meet success.

I can understand not wanting to put a child on medication if it is not needed. We do not give tylenol to a child without a fever or some other symptom. BUT... You give your child medication if he had an infection, right? You would put a cast on a broken arm or leg? If a child is falling behind in school, acting out with other children, and, in general, is unmanageable, why would you not give him the medication he needs to control his disorder???

If there were mild symptoms, then I could see not going to meds, but if it is impacting his future, give him the tools he needs to be successful! You wouldn't give him a spoon and ask him to plow a field.

In regard to the teachers not being willing or able to deal with a child with ADD, or ADHD, this is completely untrue...and ridiculous! You have to remember, that when a child has this disorder, it is his nature to be impulsive. He may fixate on the smallest things. Imagine being in a room where your clothes are too tight, you have a blister on your foot, but you can't take your shoe off, there is a strobe light in the corner, and someone is playing a radio in your ear. THEN, the teacher asks you a question. Could you answer? No wonder these kids sometimes don't "hear" when you talk to them, or try to redirect their behavior.

Please. Help the child. If he was coping with meds before, give them back.

There are many issues involved with an ADD child. There are 'natural' supplements that will help but this is a life long problem that needs several aids. First, medication does not have to be a bad thing. If he were sick with an infection you would not hesitate to give him an antibiotic. In the same way his brain is not functioning normally, so he needs medication to help with that. It will be a struggle to find the right one. We need to take the best of several things to help these children and it involves natural remedies, conventional medicine, learning assistance and behavorial modifications. Punishment is not helpful. It is like punishing a child for being sick. I am not saying you allow the behavior but look at it from a different view. He cannot control what is happening, so you have to give him aids to help him understand how to control it. There are many medicines on the market for ADD. Each child is different in how they respond to them. Something that works for one child may not work for another. It is like antihistamines - you may take Zyrtec and it works great. Someone else takes Allegra and it works for them but Zyrtec did not. It will be trial and error to find what works for him. These children need a calm and uncluttered environment. They also need a physical outlet, so sports are great for them.
This is a frustrating illness. Just remember not to take out that frustration on the child.
Many great Americans were ADD. They usually have lots of energy, creativity, and love taking risks! We just have to channel that in the right direction!
Ask your pediatrician for someone who specializes in ADD children and do your own research. The internet is a great resource for this. Make sure you know the side effects of the medications so you can be aware if it is not going to benefit the child.
Most importantly, make sure the child sees that you love him and together you are going to find what works.

First as a mom of six adopted kids myself, get over the medication thing. That was the way I used to think, that with enough love and caring I could fix these kids. I started going to an adoption support group and this was a tremendous relief. Four of my adopted children are ADD, medication is just a tool to help them cope. Two of my kids are teens and they say that now they can focus. If your child was diabetic and needed insulin you would give it to them, feel the same about ADD meds, it just helps the brain to keep focused...and that is a blessing for all involved.
I hope this helps. Keep up the good job with the foster kids, they need you and many more like you.
Blessings,
D.

My sister is severe ADHD. Growing up my mom, a nurse, found a diet that was developed by a doctor that really helped. Basically you cut out all artificial colors, flavors and salicilates. Silicilates are natural sugars that occur is some fruits like grapes and apples.

There was a HUGE difference in her behavior and her ability to control her behavior while on this diet. We also did not medicate my sister. BUT this was years ago, now there have been huge strides with the medications they use to treat ADD and ADHD. If the ADD is severe enough, diet may not be enough to control it. You may have to try a few different meds to find the right one. You don't want a zombie child you just want him to have more self control and more focus.

I would suggest to take him back to a child psychiatrist that specializes in ADD and discuss the options. There may be non medicating treatments or there may be better medications.

Also you have to understand it from the childs point of view. They can't control themselves and they feel absolutely horrible about their behavior and they blame themselves. So if medication is the right choice it may make him feel better about himself and he may be better able to control his actions.

Good luck!

We HATED the idea of medicating our daughter and fought it until 4th grade. Everyday was a nightmare. We finally decided to try for 30 days to see how it worked. It was the best thing we ever did. She is a sophmore now who makes straight A's and is not a behavior problem. That stopped when we started the meds. As a teacher, if the child truly has ADD, he needs the meds to help him concentrate. My hsuband and I consider it a learning tool. We give our kids crayons, folders, etc. to enable their learning process. For some children, being on medicine is a very important learning tool. I hope they can come to some kind of solution to help the child learn and the family not struggle. It is EXTREMELY hard on their self confidence when everyday is a struggle. Being an adolescent is hard enough without anything else.

I am by far not an expert on this matter, but I do have a spouse and son who have been ADD most of their lives. We have found that you have to be very strict with them behavior wise. As for meds. even though they both take them, you still have to try to keep most preservatives away from them and I realize this id difficult now days with preservatives in so many of our foods. And absolutely nothing with red food die in it. On the other hand, items with caffein (coffee, soda, but not Big Red, and solid chocolate candy) seem to have an adverse affect and calms them down. And of course, try to keep the child active in a sport, this really helps them to focus. No matter what doctors say, with or without meds, a lot of it is trial and error and everyone is different. I hope this helps.

Keeping in mind that the medication for ADD is a stimulant (surprising, but true), I have heard in the past that a morning expresso will do similar things without it being a medication with all kinds of unknown side effects.
Also, the child needs to learn self-responsibility and control in baby steps- he's never had to do those things for himself before. Come up with an end goal, break it down into smaller attainable goals spread out over a year or two years, and work towards them. He'll fail sometimes, but succeed too.

I commend their choice in staying away from the meds!

Although I do not have any children with ADD, I read an article a couple months ago about children with ADHD and ADD and they parents put them into KIDS YOGA classes and they did wonders without medication. I really wish I could remember the magazine, but I can't, sorry.

The article stated that the kids were made to focus on poses and were able to move around while doing it and it just helped them reach calm states (just like meds but without). When the children were in their classes, they had much better focus and control.
It's worth checking into it.

I read a book, written by someone here in Austin, that changed the way I worked with children with ADD from then on, at the time I was running a summer camp, and since then I have Married a man who was put on Ritalin at age 5(!) and now takes nothing.It is called:
"the Wildest Colts Make the Best Horses"
I got it at Casa De Luz, but I'm pretty sure you can get it at Book People, at the very least.
It covers a whole spectrum of advice from Dietary to how to approach them and gives you an enlightened perspective on what they are going through.
I would guarantee that this book will be a HUGE help.
GOOD LUCK-Angela

P.S.-I just read alot of the other resposes saying that you're punishing him by not letting him have his Meds and that it is a disease that has to be medicated. This is a VERY recent phenomena and doesn't occur in traditional societies where they eat natural unprocessed foods. All of our bodies are compromised in some way due to the unnatural diets our culture pedals to us. ADD is just one form of that.
Also, why do you think so many kids don't want to be on it. My husband said it made him feel like the WALKING DEAD.
Also no one has brought up the association with those particular meds and future expieremental drug use which definately happens! It is medical Speed and kids trade it in highschool for other drugs.It is a big problem and not a solution.

I can't remember the exact products now, but go to the herb/health food store. If I remember correctly, flax seed oil is one of the things that give kids with this condition. My son had it too and I just hated the idea of giving him Ritalin. There is another drug that is out called Straterra that supposedly is not a stimulant; maybe another option. We saw a difference in our son when he was on that one, but he never did want to take any of the medications. We also know an adult ADD person on Straterra and her life was turned around once she was on medication for her condition.

Hi A.. I have a 9 yr old with the same thing. I don't believe in meds. I am afraid of the affect it would have on him later in life.

Last school yr, my son's teacher suggested Mountain Dew. He was not as horrible at home as he is at school. This teacher has been in her profession for 20+ yrs. She even kept a 12 pack under her desk. I thought is was the craziest idea at first, but it worked.

My sister babysat him for me one Saturday. She had to run errands and pay bills. She had to get onto him several times. So finally, it was lunchtime. She ordered him a Mountain Dew with his food. She said that withing a 15 min time frame, she saw him calm down. She said it was like WHOA to whoa. Also it helped him focus more on his school work.

I don't give it to him as often as I should. But comparing last school year to this or previous school yrs, I will make sure next yr I buy all Mountain Dew off the shelves.

Let me know if it worked for you guys.

Household chemicals are always a huge factor in behaviorial and learning disorders. Switching to a safer line of household products - a GREEN product line like where I shop - melaleuca.com (demo site at saferforyourhome.com ) is a GREAT move to make. It's less expensive cost per use than the store brands too. It's a members only shopping system, so let me know if you want more information on how it works.

J.
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A., I'm a 76 year old great G. and I have had some experience with ADD. The number one thing to do is pray to God to guide you. It is hard to deal with an ADD kid. The school wanted to put my grandson on Ritalin and his mom refussed. She wanted to go the natural way. A good diet helps a lot. Provide the ADD child with plenty of good fruits and vegetables. No sweets before bed and plenty of protein such as sugarless peanut butter. Kids love sweets but it's better to cut out as much as possible. I don't think that artificial sugars are good for them, or anyone. Soft drinks of any kind should be totally out. Naturaly sweetened juices is fine.
God Bless you,
Bobbye

My son is ADHD. While I am sensitive to the idea that natural is better, medicine makes a HUGE difference in how well my son can cope. Therapy, where he learns strategies to help him,works too. Even the tweaking of the medicine seems to never stop, and nothing is a panacea that fixes everything. I know teenagers still on the ADHD medicine, and they tell me how much it helps them.

The medicine helps, while the child develops other strategies. The hope is always there that he will learn to do without the midicine, but your nephew obviously isn't. While one can certain search out and find doctors with conflicting opinions, to take him off medicine, while it may be one's parental right, is rather like playing doctor without a license. Do your research, but listen to the doctors. They understand how the mind works better than us triage-moms, and they have a lot of knowledge and experience. To just say "I don't like kids taking medicine is irresponsible." My nephew almost died from Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever because my sister didn't want to give him the prescribed medicine, aspirin, because she had heard that it was bad for children. Yes, but when that is what a doctor tells you is the answer, he knows more! Without much careful research, you can hurt your child much more than any side effects you may be afraid of.

My friend was telling me she went to a sleep seminer that talked about ADD and the relations of not sleeping well. They were suggesting that you see an ENT about possibly getting the childs tonsils out. I have not talked to anyone who has had this done but it may be something to look into. Good luck and tell your sister to keep her head up!

ADD is a chemical imbalance in the brain that won't allow it to function so that the child can handle it. Sometimes drugs aren't the answer, but sometimes they are. I really hate to say this outloud but your sister needs to put that child back on the medication. God didn't give man the ability to help people so that they could be ignored. ADD tires a child out, enables low self esteem and prohibits a person/child from having good social skills. (not all children, but a lot of them)

I understand not wanting to drug the child. Your sister should sit down with a psychologist and discuss her fears with them.

My son was recently diagnosed with ADHD and my daughter with ADD. While natures remedies are always the preferred method of treatment, some things need science to fix. This is one. ADHD and ADD are caused by the neurotransmitters in the brain not producing the proper amounts of norepenephrine. Meds achieve this. I have seen a wonderful change in my son and am starting to see good changes in my daughter. When a child's education is at stake there is just no reason to compromise by taking a child off the meds, When people notice a change in behavior and people are at their wits end because of it, then it needs to be changed fast. The child is the one that will suffer needlessly in the long run but the parents, siblings and teachers suffer as well.

I was an education major at SHSU and thought the same as your sister.....we should not medicate our kids. However, I had a very intelligent professor put it to me like this. If your child had cancer, would you get them Chemo....If your child had a headache or a broke bone and was in pain, would you give them Tylenol......If your child was diebetic, would you give them insulin? Therefore, children with ADD/ADHD need meds too! That's when it hit me! I later married a man with 4 children, and the 2 youngest were diagnosed, one with ADD and the other with ADHD. When we met they were on a different medication. I did a ton of research and talked to my Pediatrician numerous times and we found that COncerta worked best for my boys. However, each child is different. Make sure the child was properly diagnosed and if so, find a pediatrician that specializies in ADD/ADHD. Good LUck!

Please have your sister put the kid back on his meds. She is really doing him a misjustice by not keeping him on his meds. He will not be able to concentrate at school, he will not be able to keep friends, and the teachers will dispise him. The only alternative is a diet, but trust me....you can not keep a small kid on a diet! My sister has the same problem with her kid and her husband doesn't want him on the medication. The kid is in the 4th grade and can't read. (He is also dyslexic, but the ADD will not allow him to settle down and retain what the tutor is trying to teach him.) They tried the diet and he ended up in the principle's office for stealing cookies from another child's lunch. My thought is this.....put them on the med to help them get through puberty. Then they can learn to control themselves the older they get and get off of it. My nephew is suffering because he is sooooooo far behind with his poor reading skills and my sister is pulling her hair out trying to deal with him. I hate to take medicine too, but sometimes we just need it!!!!!!

Hi A.,
Haven't check my email lately. I got my son off all his ADD meds by give him 3 oz of Xango everyday. It also got rid of his asthma....nice side effect. This is the number selling natural health beverage on the market. You can only order thru a referral website....here's mine....
www.freedomfrommeds.com Call if you have any questions.

W.
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