Mood Swings in Little Girls?

You know I would talk to her physician about this change in her behavior. I really would. A quick or unexplainable change in her behavior could indeed illustrate some sort of problem. It's pointless for all of us to sit here and ponder which of the hundreds of mental disorders she could have. A psychiatrist really needs to do this. They can watch her and get the details from you and say if its a phase, or something that needs addressed. Best of luck to you. It really does sound like this needs to be looked into.

I have a "moody" 4 year old, who's been what I call "high maintenance" her whole life. I am raising her as a single mother and there are times when I don't fully understand why my daughter gets so upset for so long over silly things. She's always been that way, though: prone to tantrums, gets upset easily, sometimes she'll start crying out of nowhere and then make up some reason why she's upset (usually she says she misses someone she hasn't seen in a while). Most of the time, I can console her. Other times, she cries so hard she can't breathe and it takes forever to calm her down.

I think about how I feel most days. I can wake up in a horrible mood and then something happens to brighten my day. Or I'm having a really good day and then something ruins it and I'm in a bad mood the rest of the day. Sometimes, I'm just in a bad mood or crying and I don't really know why. I think little girls are the same and we just don't understand that all the time. Young children don't always have the capacity to tell us how they feel and I've found with my daughter, just acknowleding that she feels "sad" "mad" "nervous" or whatever she can identify helps her. I also think that hormonal changes can and do occur early on in little girls and they don't know how to identify their "growing pains" to adults.

My opinion is that we are too quick as a society to diagnose and medicate our children and don't always take into account that they are born wired with some sense of personality. Most people are lucky enough to have even-tempered children. I was not. My daughter can be a challenge, but I love her and try to accept that her unique personality requires more attention, patience and understanding than other children.

These are just my opinions and I have a lot more I could say, so please feel free to pick my brain again if you want to talk more.

I am a 34 year old single mother of a four year old girl. I have a degree in psychology from WMU and have worked in the social work field in this area for 12 years. I was raised by a single mother who taught special education at a public elementary school in the Lansing area for 26 years.

This sounds like something more serious than mood swings, I would definatly get her to a doctor, you might look into Asbergers Syndrom a little but I don't know much past what you have posted here. OCD also seems a good possibility...

I would also sit down and think about over the years what kinds of behaviors you have seen that are similar to this... that way you can really talk to the doctor about her history and maybe pick up some patterns.

I hope you find some answers.

I agree w/ the other moms have your daughter checked by a DR. if there is an issue get help early. It will make a huge diffenece in her future, it does sound like there is more going on then just a picky little girl.

I think it's more than just mood swings. Could be a chemical/hormonal imbalance or something as simple as having a difficult time with friends at school. Anything is possible. I would suggest taking her out somewhere where you can talk - maybe to get ice cream or a little shopping - just the two of you. And then just ask her if anything is bothering her, any problems with school or friends. If you can't get her to open up, then I would take her to the doctor and explain everything you've noticed in great detail. She just may need the help of a therapist or it could be something medical, but it seems something is causing the severe sensitivity. I hope you figure out what it is soon!

I was going through a similar situation with my son. He is also 6. I noticed it all starting about age 4 and it just kept getting gradually worse. I read in the paper 2 weeks ago about Pine Tree Bark Extract. Then I did hours of research on the interent and read 2 books about it. It is a natural herb that slows the reuptake of the neurotransmitters norepinephirine, dopamine and serotonin. (Drug company meds work similar but they have nasty side effects). I also added some Vitamin C to help with slowing of the reuptake. Our lives have completely changed. It took 5 days to start working but everyone we know is shocked at the changes in him and our household is so much calmer and relaxed now and he is a happy child again. I blogged some more about it at www.bitzs.com

How frustrating for you, and especially for her. It sounds like she just doesn't know how to deal with and express feelings. Just as a suggestion, and it may not seem like it's related, but you might want to focus on what she's eating. Red and yellow food dyes, chemical preservatives, etc. in processed foods really can have an effect on children's as well as adults' behaviors.

I have a friend who saw amazing changes in her child's behavior (angry, tantrums, hitting, etc.) after she removed red and yellow food dyes from her diet. Then a week later, when her child accidentally had some colored candy, all the anger and hitting and tantrums came right back for the next couple of days. The proof was in the pudding, so to speak.

As I said, it may seem disconnected, but it's definitely worth a try, if it might work, especially since it can't hurt. And if she knows you're doing something to try to help her because you love her and don't want her to be frustrated, then she knows (even if she doesn't always act so) that you love her and just want to help her.

Peace and best wishes,
K.

Looks like you've gotten plenty of advice and most of it seems to correspond. I have a nine year old daughter who is plenty moody, but nothing like you describe. I also have a friend with three daughters who are 15, 13, and 10. They are all moody as well, but again, nothing in the extreme. I agree with everyone that advises you to take your little girl to see a doctor. I'm sure with the proper diagnosis this matter is something you will be able to work with and help your daughter thrive, but you need to figure out what the problem is before you can treat it. Your description of your daughter's behavior suggests far more than mere mood swings and you will feel better once you actually know what is causing her behavior and what you can do to help her. Good luck, and for your own peace of mind, don't wait too long!

My husband is Bi-polar. His mother said they could tell almost from birth...not that he was bi-polar but that there was something diiferent. He threw uncontrollable fits when things didn't meet his expectations immediately and those expectations were sometimes irrational. I think you can't go wrong at least talking with a child psycologist. The sooner you are able to find a medication (it takes some experimentation) the sooner she and you can figure out what normal is. Happy to give you more information if you have specific questions but it sounds like classic bi-polar to me.

I COMPLETELY AGREE W/YOUR FRIEND. MY DAUGHTER HAS BEEN SHOWING SIGNS OF OCD,DEPRESSION & ADHD SINCE SHE WAS 3yrs OLD.THE DOCTOR SHE WAS SEEING @ THE TIME TOLD ME 2 TRY AND TALK HER THROUGH SOME OF THE EPISODES,THAT WORKED FOR A WHILE UNTIL SHE GOT OLDER THEN IT JUST GOT WORSE,SO I TALKED TO MY PERSONAL DOCTOR & SHE TOLD ME TO HAVE HER EVALUATED BY A MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONAL(WHICH REALLY HELPED). NOW THAT DOESN'T MEAN THAT YOUR CHILD IS CRAZY,IT JUST MEANS THAT SHE NEEDS SOME GUIDANCE. THEY EVALUATED HER&GOT HER A P.S.R.(PSYCHO-SOCIAL REHABILITATOR)& FOUND THE RIGHT COMBO OF MEDS.THANKFULLY SHE IS ONLY ON 2,ONE IN THE MORNING &ONE @ NIGHT.ABOUT THE P.S.R.,THEY HELP THE CHILD OR ADULT W/ THESE DISORDERS HOW TO COPE OR DEAL WITH EVERYDAY SITUATIONS & HOW TO REACT IN THE PROPER WAY. IF YOU GET THE RIGHT ONE THEN THEY ARE WONDERFUL!!ALSO WEEKLY THERAPY IS HELPING HER. SO IF I WERE YOU,I WOULD TALK TO MY DOCTOR,BEFORE THE SITUATION GETS WORSE!!GOODLUCK!!!!

What she is showing is not normal moodiness. I would definately suggest professional help. My reocommendation is to start with your pediatrician and explain to him exactly what is happening, and get a refferal from him/her to a child psychologist/psychiatrist who will be able to give you a better idea of what you are dealing with, and what might help. I am not qualified to guess as to what her diagnosis/issues might be, but as some one with more experience in mental health than I care to have {as a lay person}, she definately needs help.

Hi G. G.
You might want to talk to your daughter's pediatrician. Has there been a recent traumatic event in her life?
Good luck.
K.

Her behavior sounds similar to those in the book "Raising Your Spirited Child." Some children are more intense or sensitive to the smallest things.

I agree that it would be wise to have her checked, rule out food addictives, etc., to see if there is something going on.

I have a 6 year old girl as well. She has always been my easiest, most well-beheaved, smart, happy child. This has become a similar issue since she has started Kindergarten. I would agree that a visit to the Dr. is always a good thing to rule out something else going on, but in my case - I think she is just still adjusting to being gone from home all day, dealing with things at school (her class with 11 boys, 5 girls and a total of 5 of those children with special needs). My daughter also has been extremely clingy as well and the tears have been flowing more this past 3 months then her first 6 years of life. Just know that you are not alone and that mood swings doesn't always mean to jump to medication and something wrong. Just keeping home life as calm and consistant as possible.
Good luck,
S.

My daughter, almost 6, was also easily upset by seemingly tiny things. When I saw something happen that i knew she was going to freak out about, I stopped her. I would say "Woah woah woah!! Don't freak out, how can we fix this without crying?" After a few months sometimes she didn't need any verbal cue to stop and think what else she could do, since when she DID go nuts, I would ask her if crying had fixed the problem and of course it hadn't. She still needs a "hold it!" once in awhile, but for the most part, she stops and thinks first.
Hope that helps:)

This sounds familiar, but may not be what we overcame. We have an almost 23-year old granddaughter. She was similar. Later we learned she has a form of very high-functioning Autism--IQ 134. Other than a few unusual social habits, she is fine now and recently graduated from college! The moody or touchy behaviors became easier to control with some behavior therapy. Order seems to help, and that may explain why when things are not in their "proper" order, she gets upset. You might want to see if your pediatrician could suggest someone to do an evaluation. The sooner you have autism diagnosed, the better the long-term result. My best to you and family!

I just signed onto Mamasource, and your message came up. Turns out I have a 5 year old daughter and am asking myself the same questions! Tonight after getting groceries she was the last one out of the van. Holding her baby brother and some groceries, I asked her to close the van door. She broke down and cried, "I always have to do that!" She was shivering on the ground, crying because she was cold, but wouldn't go close the door and come in. Until I (calmly) said I would count to 10 and give her a spanking if she didn't do it. She jumped up and closed it quickly, but it didn't help her attitude. I tried taking her to lie down, but she kicked of the blankets and then cried because I wouldn't cover her up again. Anyway, she finally calmed down after I gave her a long and tearful hug. When we talked about it later (after supper) she said the hug had helped. So what is the same here is: emotional outbursts that are not logical, more despair than defiance. My thinking about it has been:
1. What is going on physically that lowers my daughter's "reserves"? In this case, she was both hungry and tired, fighting a cold. I try to give only healthy snacks before supper, but I don't think they were cutting it! Is her schedule too busy? (full-day kindergarten is taking a toll!)
2. What life skill is she learning in this situation?
In my daughter's case, she needed to learn to help when asked. Also that I love her even if I'm not doing what she demands at the time. Perhaps your daugther is learning how to take control of what she is able to change. She could do this by asking for help, trusting her ability to communicate her needs and in your ability to meet them. Or she can learn to look for what she can do herself. I find it helps me to keep the life skill in mind, knowing that she won't be doing this in 20 years!! She will learn to live with her emotions!
3. What is the best way to help her gain the life skill?
This is something for you to consider. You know her and yourself better than anyone. And I don't have the answer here for myself either. Today, I really stumbled through. Boundaries are loving. Children need to be respectful and obedient. But they have emotions, and we love them no matter how they are behaving at the moment. I tried to keep telling my daughter this, and by the time we finished supper we were a happy family again.
Our daughters are 5 and 6. They are immature, not mentally ill. We don't need to despair. We need to practice the life skills they will learn someday-- the serenity to accept the things we cannot change (our daughters emotions!), the courage to change the things we can (our own response, our daughters' schedules for sleep and activity, and nutrition), and the wisdom to know the difference.
Just by struggling with these issues, we are becoming better parents. God bless!

I think all children have "mood swings" - usually due to separation anxiety which happens periodically in childhood. You don't mention if there have been any significant changes in her life recently, such as starting school, new sibling, etc., - but sometimes change precipitates separation anxiety. It is definitely too soon and she is too young to consider bipolar or OCD - those are profound mental illnesses that usually occur later in life and/or manifest themselves in more significant ways. Do you talk to her about her sad times when she's happy and not having a meltdown? Sometimes as parents we're just so relieved when our child is doing well that we don't want to bring up the bad times - but that's really when it's best to talk to her about it. If she won't talk about it or doesn't seem to understand it herself, and these incidents occur for a few more months, it would probably be good to have her see her pediatrician for a "well-child" visit. If she has a teacher outside the home, you should check in with that person to see if these behaviors happen with other people/children. Don't jump to scary conclusions - but trust your intuition as a mom, because we know our children best and if we think something is wrong, there usually is.

I would take her to the doctor as soon as possible and tell them all that you have said here. They will be more qualified to figure out what is wrong, if anything. This has to be difficult for everyone and getting it dealt with soon should help that too. There may be something going on that has her concerned so be sure to tell the doctor everything, even the things that may be embarassing or that you don't think can be important.