Just Need Some Advice for My Son

P.,

The Berkley community has a class on Bi-Polarity. I understand it's a complex issue. Perhaps a class would be helpful to you, not only to meet people dealing with the same issue but you might learn some valuable infomation.

Best of luck!
A.

dear P. hi well my son was also 10 and 11 and he has adhd was on concerta adderal and prozac he was really uncontrolable and was doing so bad in school so thedocs had put him on the meds he did real good on them and did better in school but then we missed 3 appointments and they kicked him out so i couldnt get hiis meds so i took him off to see how he would do well let me tell you last year he did bad in school well he waa good but his grades wasnt he got straight fs all 4 quaters and they passed him to the 6th grade this year and do u know he missed already 5 days and is getting good grades with out any meds so i think that the kids just want attention or all the attention so they act up and then they make the docs think they have some kind of problems i mean some do but others dont and some docs just want to make money so they wil tell you they have problems just so that you will keep taking them so they can get paid so like the other moms said take him and get 2 other oppionions ok my son is doing better with out meds now

consistency is one of the best things you could do for your child.

Hi honey.. we dealt with this a number of years ago (now my son is totally off meds.. and just in behavioral therepy)..

A lot of time its that they need a set routine.. one thing they do need is total consistancy. That way the changes that come up don't upset the balance too much. Make sure the meds are working the way they should.. don't know if you keep a mood chart to show the doc every time, but it helps. That way you can keep track of mood swings and how intense. Helps to know if the meds are in line, need up or down, or need changed altogether.

As far as talking to you.. its like all kids.. be there for him and have him know although you are the parent, and some things are unacceptable.. that you will listen regardless and not be judgemental. To all feelings that come up. Everything can be talked through.. and I've found kids listen better and talk more if they KNOW they are being heard. As hard as it is, and I work full time too.. set some time aside just for him. He'll know it.. and you'll start seeing him come around in the communication department.. just takes some time. :)

Hang in there.. I know how hard it is.

J.

Make sure you ask questions and give him time to answer. Let him know that you are there for him whenever he feels upset and needs someone to listen and when you do get him to talk to you, make sure you do just that, Listen. Getting the emotions out in the open and such can really help him, but he might not be ready for advice right away once they are out. But getting him to actually talk, I can't tell you. I'm sorry.

Hi P.. I have a 25 year old (step) daughter with bi-polar, borderline, OCD and post traumatic stress disorder and completely relate to your frustration. One book that has been absolutely essential to our survival as a family is Stop Walking on Eggshells by Paul T. Mason, M.S. and Randi Kreger. Although it is written about the behaviors around borderline personality disorder, it will give you great guidelines to help you in taking action rather than always finding yourself reacting. I hope you find it helpful. Infinite Blessings, Kristy

Hi P.,

I am new here and I know that you posted tis almost a month ago, but I really understand what your saying.
My 14 year old hs Bi-Polar, but he is unable to take meds for the depression, sometimes, with some kids, the depression meds make the Bi-Polar symptoms worse so he is only on a mood stableisor (sp?) for it. We also go to weekly behavioral therepy. He has also had to be hospitalized 5 times in 3 years do to the Bi-Polar.

I really understand about mood swings, one minute he is explosive and violent, then just as fast as that came on, he is happy and joking around.

In my case, it takes alot of patience and we just go day to day. I don't try to talk to him when he is in a down swing, there is just no way getting through to him and he is just argumentitive. When he is in a decent mood, I'll try to strike up a conversation without seeming like I am trying to pry into anything that he isn't ready to talk about.

I also have had many therepists tell me that he might not even know why he is feeling the way he does or why he does what he does, so it gets him more frusterated if we ask him why he feels the way he feels or why he did something and it just makes the situation worse.

A good behavioral therepist has been the best thing for us because sometimes my son will open up and say things to them that he just wont say to me.

I hope that you can find what you need to cope. If you ever need to talk, let me know.

Jenn

Hi P.. Hang in there. I personally think you might want to have your son re-evaluated by different doctors just to make sure your son is on the right meds. and has had the right diagnosis. Children's Hospital downtown has wonderful doctors/specialists that could help you get the right answers for your son. I know personally bi-polar and depression meds. are very strong. At 10 years old this must be h*** o* him. Also, try to make time for having 1 on 1 time with your son to talk or be silly or just to let him know he is loved and appreciated. Please try finding a hobbie he can enjoy by himself or with you. If it is more than one hobbie that would even be better. This will give him something for his mind and body to do during his down time (maybe when he is blue, or angry or even just to get his mind off everyday things). It's a rough journey alone, just remind him your alway there for him and he is never too old for a hug. I hope this might help. My prayers are with you. Good luck.

P., just make sure the meds are what he really needs for the dianosis. That is important and the right doseage. Lots of love and understanding to help him through.
Teenage years may have more impact if there is heartbreak with a girl he meets and thinks is right for him. If times get worse definately enroll in counseling with someone experienced.
My ex wife had this and tried suicide 2 times and was a mess.
Keep an eye open for changes that seem to stick and not go away.
But the main thing is balance in meds so they are not to powerful or underpowered.