Mealtime Battles

R., I have a daughter who is giving me trouble about eating her fruits. She has never before fussy about food. She is a good eater. But I was always told this is a faze they go thru. And that you should give her the things she likes to eat and let her eat that. Even if its over and over again. Kids will not starve they will eat eventually. Maybe if she likes say cheese then let her walk around with it. I know some parents don't like that but kids are really busy and they tend not to like sitting for any lenth in time. This has help with my daughter and others I know that get fussy about sitting for dinner. I hope this helps.
Good luck
S.

My almost 2 year old has a Manners Chart on the wall next to his high chair. I will tell him before he gets into the chair what ONE thing will get him a sticker according to what manners he's achieved and what area we're working on now: e.g. no spitting, dropping food on the floor, fingers in his cup (that's where we are now)... You get the idea. It changes as his behavior gets better.

I'd be a little hesitant to consistently give stickers just for eating The whole idea of making kids finish their plate after they're full is worrisome to me, and when my son is done he says, "No thank you, I'm full" if I offer another bite. But if he outright refuses to try something for example, then we don't go for a walk after dinner, or no bath that night or whatever. All that said, I don't think it would hurt to use stickers as a starting point for eating... Just don't get her in the habit of eating for stickers, yk?

:)

Good luck, man it is a challenge isn't it? If somebody had told me FEEDING my child would be my least favorite part of motherhood I wouldn't have believed it. Ugh. But we're improving and you guys will too!

We had some struggles with our 1st child too. It is important to me that our kids are socialized and experience a meal as a family. This is an important time for us. We buckled him in, served him what we were eating and that was it. He would rock in his chair, sometimes moving his highchair around the floor, screaming. I know it was a power struggle, but it was hard to deal with. Eventually, he learned that he wasn't going to win.

Your daughter will not starve herself either. She may go a few meals without eating anything. But, make sure her snack time isn't too close to dinner and that she is good and hungry at mealtime. We also try to get the kids outside or playing hard so they work up an appetite. Now, the child that we had the most difficult with meals is our best eater. We get comments a lot that our kids are good eaters. I never thought that would be, but they eat everything (except raw onions) that we eat because those are the foods they are served. I have family that caters to their kids at every meal. Personally, I don't think a child should be in charge of meals. I am only preparing one thing!!

I hope that helps. I just see things pretty black and white. The firm approach works best for my kids, maybe it will work for you too. Good luck!

My recommendation would be to not let it become a power struggle....she won't starve. Be aware of snacks and times offered.....limit them more perhaps.....decide if you want to make her sit for X amount of time at the table, even if she is not going to eat....set a timer if need be so she knows when this time is past....or tell her if she chooses not to eat, then she doesn't sit at the table (maybe make one other choice for her..not a food choice...but an activity choice...not a free for all. If its a control thing for her, then you are giving her a choice...this, or that...but not just anything)....but decide what you prefer and stick to it.

Make sure she is getting options in other aspects of her little world too....2 outfits to choose from for the day...maybe 2 different toothbrushes to choose from, 2 different cups or plates.....if it truely is a control thing she may quickly go thru it all once given such choice in her normal day....food choices too and getting her involved in the meal prep (maybe you are already doing this...I didn't read if you were???)....find things she can do to prepare the food and set the table and make some of the choices....."Hmmm...which veggie should we make tonight...the brocolli or the carrots? I just don't know??!"....

I do home daycare and in general find that taking the time to do some of these things, rather than plowing thru and just prepping the meals myself, especially for this age group, can make a big difference. Likely whatever the issue is for her, it will pass....its just getting thru it!!!

Good luck!

She's turned it into a game

If she throws food or spits it out I would automatically make dinner time done for the night, no more snacks, nothing. She will not starve I promise.

After a few nights of not getting anywhere with her "game" she should give in and eat again and have her manners again.

I worked at a inhome daycare and that's what we did. If you threw your food you were DONE. Trust me it didn't happen often. Then when the older kids were done because they ate so darn fast to rush back outside we started making them sit nicely and quietly having nice conversations at the table until everyone was finished as to not rush the other kids and to practice table manners and it was a great time for everyone to relax and socialize we sang songs sometimes or even went over colors and number or something.