Toddler Throwing Food! - Santa Clara,CA

My youngest threw food too, and thought it was hilarious. I can't remember what I did - that was before I became a decorating fanatic so I probably didn't care as much back then.

If it's any help, he's now 15 and doesn't throw food any more.

2 moms found this helpful

J.,
I have a 14 month old daughter. I recently read The Self-Confident Baby by Magda Gerber, she talks a lot about feeding a baby and how to go about it. She has a lot of different techniques/ideas, some interesting and sort of progressive thinking. Give it a chance you may like the ideas and they may work. She doesn't believe in high chairs. For more than one reason. Maybe your daughter is trying to tell you that she is a big girl. I decided to use a table (small fisher price picnic table...toddler size) like she suggests in the book. Our daughter has been eating table food in her high chair for months, we did not have any "throwing" issues in fact she has always been a quiet eater, running to her high chair when I tell her lunch is ready. So why move her? The book suggests that toddlers are capable of sitting at a table and eating somewhat properly. So I wanted to find out. I also began giving her her own plate and silverware which helps to keep her attention, no throwing the plate on the floor yet. The drawback to teaching her how to use a fork and spoon is that she wants me to "load" it up with food then she picks it up and puts it in her mouth, which is fine, I get that that is how they learn... but now that I am "loading" her up she has forgotten that she can pick up her own food with her hands. Yes, she does get up from her table and wonder around. Gerber suggests that once kids loose interest, begin playing, walk away, throwing food, etc... they are done. She suggests taking food away and offering it again at another time. However, I know that I want my daughter to eat her lunch and later she will be having nap time, so she needs to eat now. At breakfast I do not make a huge deal of eating now, b/c she is not going back to bed, so when she is done she is done. If she gets up from the table breakfast is over. At lunch, she gets up, I ask her if she is done or I say "bye bye food," "you must be done, are you done." As soon as I ask she runs back to the table and sits. I do this three time, then I tell her she is done.... if she gets up again. We are also doing sign language, so I sign "done" or "more" whichever she indicates is it. No questions asked. I let her carry her own, empty, plate to the table then she comes back for her silverware. Afterward, I ask her to help clean the table and give her a damp rag.... okay so I am the one cleaning while she "tries" to imitate.
Anyway the point is to let your little one feel more independent and give her more choices. Can you give her a choice in foods, maybe she will eat better if she gets to choose.
Our daughter still sits in the high chair for dinner so she can be at the table with us. At lunch time and breakfast I sit on the floor next to her table with her. I have been walking away from the table here and there to see if she stays seated... it depends on how into her food she is, how much she likes what she is eating. Sometimes she will just get up and follow me. We are working at it, my husband thinks I am crazy. But babies/toddlers are capable of sitting at a table. Does your daughter go to child care? Most preschools use small table and chairs. She can do it, give it a try, maybe she want her independence. We are on week two at the table, she enjoys the freedom, she runs to the table when she sees me preparing food... sometimes 15 min before its ready, poor thing gets bored of waiting and goes back to playing until I tell her it is ready and she comes running. I would advise you, if you try this, to keep your table in the kitchen or breakfast area if you can. It helps not to be on the carpet but we have two dogs that take care of the mess. Also keep in mind that the table is for eating, coloring, other sitting activities. We made the mistake of letting our daughter play and climb on her table before we started using it to eat at, now she still thinks she can climb up on the table top while eating. But she is a climber. Just make sure you define the table as a "table."

1 mom found this helpful

I think she will definitely get the message that we do not throw food. No one else in the family throws food and if you feel like "playing with your food", you are obviously through eating so you can get down from the high chair and play on the floor while we finish eating, but no more food for this meal. wait until the next "snack time" comes around. Mealtimes should be pleasant times for all the family and should not be confused with playtimes.

She will not starve so putting up with this behavior just to make sure she gets enough food in her tummy will not teach her anything except it is so important to my mommy that I eat, I can do whatever I feel like.

Ignoring it only makes her want to do something more dramatic to get your attention. It sounds like she is a playful child who doesn't yet understand what the boundaries are, but she will learn, fear not.Enjoy her playfulness at play time and have fun with this little princess!!

1 mom found this helpful

i think all kids go thru this, at least all 4 of mine did........i just treated them like babies again....if they threw food i took away their priviledges of feeding themselves & i fed them.....they didnt eat much at first then i would say if you dont throw your food you can feed yourself, it worked.....and if she tests you again then take it away for a day or 2 and feed her dont let her feed herself at all until she agrees not to throw it, she understands what you are saying to her.

1 mom found this helpful

I agree with others that meal time should be over. It doesn't matter how much she has/ has not eaten. Missing out on food isn't necessarily the punishment. Removing the food is. It's the same as if she threw a toy across the house, you would take it away and she wouldn't be able to play with it for the rest of the day. Same deal.

1 mom found this helpful

I also agree w/a couple of the other responses....when she throws food, meal time is over. Do what you've been doing & don't get angry w/her or this will just make it more interesting for her. Just calmly take the food away saying teh meal is over, wash her up & get her out of the chair. I wouldn't save the food for later cuz then she'll just learn that even if she throws food & gets outa the high chair, the meal is there for her to eat later. So I also suggest completely cleaning all of it up & put the food away. She won't starve & will learn that you mean bussiness. The key is to stay consistent. best of luck!

1 mom found this helpful

When my daughter was that age, she hated anything being in front of her once she was done eating. She would drop/throw each piece of food on the floor until it was all out of her sight!
Now you said your daughter throws her food for the fun of it, and not just when she's done eating. Like the other mom's have said (and like you know yourself) throwing food is not acceptable. Period. An old friend of mine had a son who did this. A STERN warning would be given ("No, we do not throw food."), and if the action still continued, he would be removed from the dinner table and put in his crib for time-out. Some parents think that time-outs don't work for this age; but I will tell you from experience with several different children -- IT DOES!! Kids don't like being alone and put in "isolation". She will get the point. After a few minutes of time out, I would bring her back to the table and remind her if she threw her food again, she would go back in time out or be finished eating (your choice). Ingoring the behavior will not fix the problem, and simply tells the child what they're doing doesn't bother you and is OK.

I know these times can be frustrating and you may not see any end in sight, but don't worry, it really is just a phase. We've all been through this, and unfortunately this is a small trial compared to the ones ahead! Keep a smile on your face and enjoy your little girl while she's young. :)

Oh J.! I feel your pain! We had the same problem with our son...he's now 18 months. I did the exact same thing...tried to pretend I didn't see it etc...but he did the same thing. He would look right at me, with his arm extended past his high chair tray (full of food) and then just look at me and toss it on the floor. My husband and I decided we just needed to end the meal there. Even if we had to toss food away, even if he didn't eat...Just say "That is the end of dinner" and take him out of his chair. It TRULY worked. I felt awful, and cried a few times, that he didn't get to eat. But he survived, I survived, and he hasn't done it in about a month now. I think it took about 3 times of stopping his meal right away and it's been wonderful! Good luck....I hope all goes well!!

J.

My 17month old daughter did the same thing and recently this seems to be subsiding. What we did was have her pick up what she threw after eating. We had to be patient and stern about this-sometimes she would pick it up without hesitation, other times it took several minutes of asking her to do it-put we never gave in and made sure she pick up at least the bigger pieces. Also, when I notice that she is about to throw something I ask her to give it to me or to place it back on her plate instead. This seems to be working as well, so far!! Fingers crossed..good luck to you!!!

In our family the child that dose this is removed from the table and food cleared away. They don't tend to throw food if they are hungry so they don't need to be at the table. I just say, "We do not throw food. You may not be at the table". Nothing more. You can't get into a battle over this one. It's best to be clear and logical and the consequence is related. My children learned very quickly not to do this.

If it has been going on for months, it's a well established pattern of behavior, and she associates eating and throwing.
I would stay out of restaurants until you get it under control. You could not give her any food and feed her one piece at a time. As soon as she throws, no more food. That sounds harsh, but she won't starve...she can drink milk and juice (unless she throws liquids too).
One other idea...if she just enjoys throwing, you can give her other, more appropriate opportunities for throwing---like playtime with balls, outside. Then she will associate throwing with a different setting. If you have access to a dog that fetches, it would make it especially fun. = )
There is nothing wrong with the act of throwing, you just have to teach her the time and place for it.

All babies do this, some more than others. I used to put TINY amounts of food on the tray - like 3 peas at a time. Not as fun when you throw the food and then there's nothing left to eat. And then, once the supply of food that I would have fed her was exhausted, mealtime was over. If she went hungry, oh well. She wasn't going to starve to death before the next meal, and a hungry child won't throw her food on the ground! Sounds mean, but whatever - you do what you have to to stay sane, mama! Eventually they do grow out of this phase.

Greetings J.: I have 5 children and several grandchildren ( I have also had a Day Care for several years).
Recently, I was enjoying a meal out and had something tossed at me in the restruant--- not a plate but a toy. I was not even shy- went over and asked why they brought an uncontroled child out where they are going to ruin another's evening? Gotta admit I asked if they were prepared to pay for another persons night out- when a babysitter is cheaper.
The mother, said much like you that she needed help!
Let me suggest to you what I have suggested to her and others.
They sell just about everywhere but for sure at Babies R US, bowls and plates that have suction cups at the bottom. That way, they can't toss the dish- because if applied properly they don't come off by a child. This will help you with part of the problem. From what I know as fact at my Day Care, and from my own family, at 16 months they are old enough to pick things up-- so make she do the work of taking her out of the chair as soon as she starts- the meal is over and let her pick up the mess. This should be a great discouragement. Please don't try and reason with a 16 month old-- they are not ready for that yet. Just show who is in control, set the boundries-- always done with love but firmness and jus put her in her bed or time out with ech experiance. This will help her see tht you mean business and that it is not as much fun as she thought it was.
To her it is a game and mom unless you want tantrums and complaints from others that won't think she is quiet as cute as you do in public places it is best to stop her now.
Always remember that she is just a child, and that she needs you to teach, direct, and lead her to learn all that she must do in life. You only have the rest of your life and hers to have many more experiances --this is just the start. Good Luck, Nana G

Yes, end the meal. Don't even give a warning, just calmly say "I see you are not hungry right now" and take her down. Don't offer food until the next eating time. She will get it, trust me! Hunger is a powerful thing.

Hello J.,

I tend to reject many “this is normal” responses for that age. In this case, while I don’t endorse letting a child throw food on the floor, many children will wipe things off their tray when they are full or frustrated or both. That is, if the parents don’t pay close attention and then remove the plate/bowl etc. before the child starts doing this.

Under no circumstances should a child be allowed to throw things in a restaurant, whether it is McDonald’s or Chez Fancy! If your child tends to do this, then someone should be feeding her or portioning out each bite and praising her for being a good girl in the restaurant. It should not be the restaurants responsibility to clean up the floor after anyone’s children unless it's one of those childrens parties at the local Chucky Cheese or Pizza Parlors.

A few suggestions for home meals:

No toys of ANY KIND on the tray. I've seen parents use toys to coax their child into eating.... That's O.K. for picture taking, but not O.K. at mealtime.

No sippy cup at meal time (It’s just one more thing for her to toss) and not needed at mealtime. She can have the cup of milk, juice or water at the end of the meal. (I have heard that food is actually digested better without while eating---don't know if it's true, but the person who told me was very intelligent---so I would like to hear what the other mama's and/or professionals out there think).

Get one of those baby dishes with good suction that will make it difficult for her to pull up and toss.

Very small portions in each compartment.

Cut food into baby size pieces

If she is asking for more of one thing, let her know she can have more when she eats what is in the rest of her dish. (While you are talking, show her what you mean by pointing to what’s left and maybe you take a bite from your plate of what you want her to eat).

If you are having something like mashed potatoes, gravy or rice, mom or dad can give her spoon full (with her little spoon), and then give her the spoon with a little food on it and see how she does.

If she looks like she’s done, ask if she is ready for the sippy cup. If she is, remove the plate and let her have her drink. If she wants her plate back, take the cup and see if she really wants to finish. (Only do this once or twice, so it doesn't become a game).

Manners can and should start early. It takes a lot of work on everyone’s part, but it’s well worth it when you receive compliments from relatives, friends and strangers on your well-mannered child. Better yet when your family can enjoy the meal together.

If all else fails, get a dog and a babysitter when you go out, but keep trying they all catch on sooner or later.

Blessings…..

Dr. Brazelton says to put two pices of food on her plate. When she puts one in her mouth, put another piece of food on her plate. That way there is no mess. When she is older she will do better. Kids love to throw food on the floor. Today I was walking someone to our door and as I turned around a 2 year old threw across the room a sponge pumpkin that he was painting with as nice as can be. Black paint all over the floor. Gosh he can throw a long ways and high too! He would not do this if I was standing right there with the kids. They like the joy of throwing. "We throw balls outside" I tell him. We keep paint on the table I tell him too." Kids!
F.

I so feel ya! My daughter is now 2.5 and threw food for what seemed like forever (reality~ probably 4-6 months) I think for her, it went from a "stage" to a "habit" I tried everything you did. What finally worked was my mom bought her a toddler table for her birthday and I put the high chair in the garage. As soon as she was sitting at her table and eating, there were no more throwing incidents. I don't know if it wasn't fun for her anymore because she wasn't up high or if she was so focused on being in a new eating situation, she just forgot about that habit. It was like a little miracle in our house! Might be worth a shot :-)

I would give one warning, then if she continues do take her down from the table and let her know her meal is finished. If she begins begging for food before the next regularly scheduled meal or snack time, don't give in. Remind her that she had a chance to eat, but was throwing food.

One key is to have regularly scheduled times to eat. The recommendation is a meal or snack time approximately every two hours for toddlers.

Do put small amounts on her plate at a time. NO more than a teaspoonful of each items served should be plenty. You can re-fill the plate more often for her, and she will get plenty to eat.

Do give her positive feedback for good table manners and eating habits.

I agree with what one respondent said about high chairs, though I hadn't known that Magda Gerber agrees with this too. My rule is that the child sits at the table with the adults. If a high chair can be put up to the table, simply for the height so the child can reach, it's ok, but not to be used with the tray and sitting back from the table as is so often done. A high chair tray is much more fun to throw food from than a plate on a table with the adults. We use a regular chair with a booster at our table. If you have one that has a strap to hold her in for safety, it will also serve to help keep her from getting as much out of hand at the table.

You don't need to be angry or punish her for throwing her food. Just calmly and gently let her know it isn't OK, and remove her from the table after only one warning, and she should get the message. It may take some time, but it will eventually work. Nothing is accomplished overnight or with just a few tries when training a toddler.