I like to take my son to the mall play area about once a week. Usually, there are 1-2 kids whose parents don't watch their kids very well, but I just deal with it as long as it doesn't effect my son. Well, today, another mom gave her 2 young sons suckers and let them run around with them. This bothered me for 2 reasons: 1, they could fall and hurt themselves, kids should never run with suckers. 2, they get everything sticky, and that's very rude and inconsiderate to the other kids playing. I wanted to say something, but I wasn't sure if I should or not, and I didn't know how to say something. Not to mention the mom just sat there talking on the phone the whole time.
There was another thing that happened that I wanted to say something but didn't. There was a little girl whose parents weren't watching her (she also had a piece of candy she was running around with, but it stayed in her mouth), and she was standing on top of the big toys and jumping off. Not such a big deal, except she wasn't watching for other kids, and then my son wanted to do that after watching her and could have hurt himself. She decided to run out of the play area, and her dad didn't even notice (she ran after her mom who had just left). My son followed her and when I went to get him, the little girl turned around and ran back without watching and knocked my son down, hitting his head on the wooden wall pretty hard. The mom heard what happened and turned around, but she didn't say anything to apologize. The dad continued to sit in his seat. I understand accidents happen, but it bothered me that the parents hadn't been paying attention to the girl before, and then my son got hurt b/c of it.
I get so frustrated when I take my son somewhere to play and have fun, and other parents just let their kids do whatever they want. My son isn't even 2 yet, but I try to teach him to be respectful and to take turns on the toys. If he wants a drink, he has to sit down with it. He has to wait his turn for the slide. If he runs out, we leave. My son understands that b/c I teach it to him. Usually, when I see kids doing whatever, the parents aren't paying any attention to them, and the parents don't seem to care.
So, next time should I say something to a parent if I see their child doing something that could hurt themselves, or others (I know I should, just not how)? Should I ask the parents to not let their kids run around with suckers? Or maybe I'm just irritated easily b/c of these pregnancy hormones! lol! I really wanted to say something, I just didn't know how, or if it was appropriate (mainly with the suckers, I should have said something to the girl's parents). Sorry this was long, I was just very irritated! Thanks for any advice!
It's good to know I'm not the only one who gets so irritated! I know I should have said something to the mom, but I was so frustrated that I knew I would blow up at her. I didn't mention this in my post, but I had already said something to the little girl, asking her not to push my son so she could get to the slide first. Next time I will difintely say something to the parent, whether it's productive or not. I know most parents who don't care enough to watch their kids don't even care if I say anything or not.
That's why I don't take my 3 year old to the mall to play. I would probably be so mad that I might say something I would regret. So I'm glad I have avoided a lot of problems by not going. I do belong to a Mom's club though, playing with other kids & moms you know helps, everyone trys to be considerate of each other. You might want to see if there is Mom's club in your area.
Here's my thoughts, and this is coming from a mom who does try very hard to watch her children when they play, but also does not believe in "hovering" and lets them have their space; also speaking from the perspective that no matter how much I teach and try, my 4 year old is still very spirited and doesn't always behave the way he should.
I try to watch him closely, but with a 17 month old as well, I know not everything done by my 4 year old is seen by me. So here is how I would handle it if someone was threatening harm to my youngest, or how I would be comfortable with some stranger dealing with my 4 year old if I missed it.
I would let go of the sucker issue. I agree it's rude, and I would not let my children do that, but unless there is a posted rule against food and drink (in which case you could just report it to security or whoever manages the play area), then just let it go and wash your kid down real good when you leave to wash off the sticky. As far as kids doing things and your son imitating, I think all you can do is teach your son that's not the best way to play. My 4 year old will now ask, why can't I jump off, they did? And I just tell him the answer, "You can't do everything the other kids do. I said no and you need to listen to me. There are babies that could get hurt and I don't want you to jump." This way, your son learns why it's not appropriate, and if some other parents simply "overhear" your discussion with your son, maybe it will draw their attention and they will tell their kids to stop too. If the parents know their kid is doing it, and they just don't care, asking them to watch their children or asking them to tell their child to stop won't do any good.
I personally don't feel comfortable approaching another parent. I think it's very appropriate to say to another child who has injured or nearly injured your child, "no, no, be careful. He's a baby and you nearly jumped on him." or "wait a minute, don't go down the slide yet until the baby gets out of the way", or "no, honey, don't run out there, stay in here with your daddy". Especially if your words are firm, but kind, the other child learns a valuable lesson, and one of two things happens with the parents. If they simply weren't paying attention, then your words may draw their attention and they may start parenting their own child appropriately. Or, if they just don't care, than you won't offend a parent for "parenting" their child because you were kind in how you approached it, but the child will still learn how to play appropriately (since they are clearly not learning it at home). I know if I heard another parent say something like that to my older son, I would immmediately be alerted to find out what happened and have the opportunity to apologize and deal with my son in whatever way needs to be done.
Well, I can say that I agree with you. I get SO irritated with parents who dont watch thier kids at the mall. The only time that I say something is if my daughter gets hurt.
It especially irritates me when like at the Parks Mall, kids who are "bigger than the elephant" Come in and run around like wild animals and thier parents are just sitting there watching. It makes me mad because it's made for moms with small toddlers, so when one of them steps on my daughters hand, or pushes her off the slide I'm like "You know this is for kids who fit UNDER the elephant right"
If another kid hurts your child, then yeah I would say something, and I completely understand your frustration because all you want is a safe fun place for your child to grow. Hope you have easier days!
oh, my, i could have written your post!!! (except for the suckers!)
i went for the 2nd time to the mall w/ my sis (she has a 5yo and 20 mo old, and i have a 2.75 yo and 16 mo old). her 5yo went off playing w/ the bigger kids, who were running around like banshees... it was wild, and none of the parents paid any attn--most were yakking on cell phones. my sis and i were talking, but i was trying to watch my youngest who wanted to slide and of course doesn't understand you have to go around and then slide down (he wanted to crawl back up the slide)... so i was "hands on" the whole time, and when the bigger kids kept trying to slide down on top of my youngest, i got irritated. my sis told me i was being a micromanager, but if he can get hurt, then i'm not ok w/ it.. besides, at least i knew he was probably on the young side to be on that equipment and be proactive! well, when a presumably 3yo slid down and kicked my baby, THAT'S when i said something. i looked around for his mom and couldn't see one and i said in a mean mommy voiuce that you have to slow down, be careful, and pay attention to the babies! well, she came around the corner, huffed and puffed real loud and made her son leave. i'm sorry if i offended her for parenting her kid, but mine got hurt so i didn't see any other option! we left soon, too, and i don't think i'll be back!!! i just don't get it.. parks, play areas, even the bookstore, parents just think their kids should be able to do anyhting.. that's what your own backyard is for!!! hugs, and much sympathy!
It happens everywhere...bounce houses, play areas, etc...
I usually don't say anything until it involves my son. I will say something to the child on certain conditions:
1. If the other kid has hurt my child.
2. If the other kid has almost hurt my child.
3. And if the parents are not paying attention.
Other than that, I usually let the consequences happen with that child. But I have "yelled" at other mothers when my child has been hurt. I tell them that if they were watching their children, then this wouldn't have happened.
There was only 1 incident when we had to leave that it was so bad...well, 2 now that I'm thinking about that. I tried to take care of it with the mom, then the management, and no one did anything, so we left.
I am totally with you on being irritated with the situation. I haven't had to deal with this before, but I picture myself saying something directly to the child first. Something like, "Please be careful around the little ones, okay?" or "Jumping off the toys could hurt one of the little kids, so you probably shouldn't do that, should you?" If talking to the parents, you could say, "I don't think you saw this, but your son/daughter nearly smashed into another child while jumping off the big toys. Can you please tell her to be careful and watch out for the little ones?"
I don't think you'll get beat up or anything if you say something. Just be tactful and know that not everyone will take it the way you mean it. If they are offended, it's just because they know they are guilty.
Good luck!!
I agree with Jessica 100%.
If I ever say anything, it is usually nicely to the child "please be careful, there are little ones around who may get hurt." or I may say to the parent "your little one just ran out of the playland, you may want to catch her" or "our children seem to keep colliding into each other today, I guess we need to watch them more carefully." That last one is a little less confronting and a b it passive aggressive, but it can be pulled off if you say it nice enough!
However, confronting a parent that doesn't care enough to watch or intervene in the first place doesn't usually end well from what I have seen.
If it gets worse, I get my kids and leave. I once had a friend whose kid was literally getting beat up by another. It got so bad, she had to pull the bully off of her toddler, the parent of the bully complained to the manager and my friend got kicked out for touching another person's kid.
This was another instance where she asked the parent to watch their son b/c he kept hitting hers, and they would just get aggrivated and ignore it.
