Mac and Cheeseaholic!!

I have a 10 year old and a 21 year old. My firstborn was VERY picky. She only ate a few foods, but now that she's grown up, she has branched out a lot. My 10 year old will try most anything.

First, I would buy only all natural and preferably whole-grain mac & cheese, or make it from scratch. I would also try to involve him in meal preparation, letting him stand on a stool to watch what is going on. At mealtimes, I would continue to offer other foods or even just having them on the table, I think eventually he would get curious and want to try them.

I remember with my DD, I would try to get her to try things, and she wouldn't. One time she was staying with my sister, and my sister made a meal that my daughter had never tried. My sister set it on the table and let DD help herself. DD tried everything and liked it. I think it was because it was her choice. I'm not saying that you should always let your children do what they want, but sometime I think the more we push food on them, the more they back away from it.

~A.

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Hey N.,

No worries are needed here. I am know that is easier said than done. So the best way to say it, as long as he is having bowel movements at least every 2-3 days and as long as he is urinating every 8 hours, then it doesn't matter that he will only eat Mac & Cheese. This may be a shorter lived problem if he finds he no longer is getting so much attention for it. I am sure you do your best to not let him know this bothers you, but even at our best, kids are very intuitive.
I promise if all he ate was Mac & cheese for years he would be okay. I would let the issue go, always fix Mac & Cheese when at home for him. And then I would fix dinner for everyone else as normal. He is not far from the 22-26 months age were they find it cute to steal your seat and your food. The reverse psychology is so fun. You can say "don't touch mommy's dinner" and they will sneak a bite. Then later start make dinners that include cheese, like cheese burgers, tacos, veggies covered in cheese, so on. When he starts stealing these bits he may want more.
As for the nutrients, he really should be fine. My concern would be if he has a calcium deficiency and this might be why his cravings are only for mac and cheese. Otherwise let him has his way with food as this is a battle you can not win anyway. And forcing it can cause severe control issues later in your child. If your concern of nutrients is that strong, then see your pedetrician and have a vitamin drop for little ones prescribed and if super worried see if some simple bloodwork can be done that shows if he is lacking any nutrients. This should give you visual confirmation if you need to really worry, otherwise this is a phase and the length could be months to years.... but most often is just months.

***** AND I can not say this enough. Do not battle this issue. I know some people think ridding the house of mac and cheese will resolve this. And it might in a small percentage of children, but the majority will not respond well and other problems will soon present. I am a child mental health professional and this can become a control issue faster than you want. I would not have included this information if I was not concerned by some others misconception on feeding issues, so I want to clearly explain that YES you are the parent, but it is still HIS body and he is in control of bodily functions which includes eating. Children do not intentially respond negatively when we react aggressively but it happens subconciously and your reaction to his negative response will begin to teach him how to control you. I do not want to go into detail to scare you, so if you need more info, please PM me. Just pick your battles wisely. And know this is not one.

Best of Luck, but again no worries...this is shorter lived when we quit pressing this issue.
-MB

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He absolutely does not need meat. So that's one worry to scratch off the list! :)

Seriously. According to the American Dietetic Association, "appropriately planned vegetarian diets are healthful, nutritionally adequate and provide health benefits in the prevention and treatment of certain diseases.... Well-planned vegan and other types of vegetarian diets are appropriate for all stages of the life cycle, including during pregnancy, lactation, infancy, childhood and adolescence. Vegetarian diets offer a number of nutritional benefits, including lower levels of saturated fat, cholesterol, and animal protein as well as higher levels of carbohydrates, fiber, magnesium, potassium, folate, and antioxidants such as vitamins C and E and phytochemicals. Vegetarians have been reported to have lower body mass indices than nonvegetarians, as well as lower rates of death from ischemic heart disease; vegetarians also show lower blood cholesterol levels; lower blood pressure; and lower rates of hypertension, type 2 diabetes, and prostate and colon cancer." (http://www.eatright.org/cps/rde/xchg/ada/hs.xsl/advocacy_...)

Ok, so, that waxed a little long, but I really want you to not have to worry about whether he's eating meat.

The pureeing idea is sheer genius. Try it again, but just start with very small amounts. Very, very gradually, puree more and more, and reduce the "cheese" sauce as you go.

Oh, and I really encourage you to nix the hot dogs. They have lots of extremely creepy stuff in them. Puree, like, beans. Cooked chard. Broccoli. Things like that.

Or, just "run out" or the mac and cheese. Whoops. While he might refuse any alternative offering for a meal or two, no kid will starve in the face of food (they really won't!). I know it takes some courage on the part of Mom, but let him go hungry for a day or two (or, heck, three). He won't, even. He's still getting his snacks, and they're healthy, and he's still getting plenty of stuff to drink, so, have no fear!

For lots of kids, snacking is their primary food source, anyway. So, yeah. You're doing great by giving him super healthy snacks. If you do the gradual-puree route, also consider giving him smaller helpings. Again, gradually. When he's still hungry, or comes to you later being hungry, offer him a healthy snack or "dessert" (try squashicles! Puree some baked delicata aka "sweet potato" squash - the kind that looks like fat cucumber - and stick it into some popsicle molds. It's delicious! Tovolo makes some very cute BPA-free plastic molds; you can find more at Natural Family Living Blog, http://www.naturemoms.com/blog/2008/07/04/cool-off-with-h...)

You can, as you see on this web page, make all kinds of fruit-veggie smoothies and give those to him, as well as turning them into popsicles and fruit-veggie leathers (remember Fruit Roll Ups? These are way, way better). Get yourself a food dehydrator and have fun. It really is fun. Get him involved, as they always say. It really does work. And what kid doesn't like goo? :)

Keep in mind that it takes several tries of a new food to get it to "take" - so don't consider one or two or 10 thumbs-downs as a no-go for him. It's a survival thing: we all reject, out of hand, any food that we can't relate to any other, more familiar, safer, food or flavor. It's a way to safeguard us from poisoning. after several tastes, over time, we see that it isn't making us feel sick, so we start to like it. So keep offering, don't give up!

L.

If I were you, I would simply stop buying mac and cheese. I know it's easy to say, but hard to do. But, give him what everyone else is eating and never make a special meal just for him when everyone else is eating normal people food. That is a very bad habit to fall into. My little boy is 4, and he is a vegetarian by nature, so I understand your frustration. We had burgers last night and he ate the entire bun, but left the meat on his plate. He's really into being strong, so I just told him that he would grow strong like Incredible Hulk if he would eat meat. And, he ate the entire thing!!!! Find something he likes - a reward for eating what you offer him, etc...

On the other hand, I use to baby sit a little boy who would eat nothing but peanut butter and jelly. His mom would send his lunch every day, which was really frustrating to me. He ate it for lunch and dinner. I tried to get him to try other foods and he would cry. When I asked his mom about it she had said that she had made dinner one night and told him he had to eat it. He was so upset about trying the food that he ended up choking on it and then throwing up. Apparently, the experience traumatized him and he would get physically ill if he tried to eat anything else. I think she decided to let him just have peanut butter and jelly until he decided to eat something else. If you try to switch him, and it does become too hard on him - I would talk to you doctor and make sure that he gets a daily vitamin.

Hi, my eight year old son loves Mac and cheese, and would be happy just eating that, but no one else would be, so I put other healthy stuff in with it. I add brocolli, cauliflower, diced chicken or ham, all kinds of things that add variety and nutrition. He helps me in the kitchen by getting all of the ingrediants together so he knows he's having mac and cheese, now days he will even tell me what he wants to go in it! I hope that helps.

Hi N.,

I agree w/most of the moms that you could solve this problem fairly quickly by not fixing special meals for him. I know you said it was stressful when you tried it, but aren't you stressed now? We have the best luck w/our little one when we are calm and pretend not to pay attention to whether or not she tries something (occasionally she doesn't--she just eats more breakfast!). Last night I almost blew it, but my hubby gave me a look, and she'd gobbled up a piece of fish before I'd even sat down (and even said, "mmmm")! I like the running out idea, too. That way it doesn't seem like a power thing. I also would try to offer quite a few foods that might be kid friendly at each meal, so that he has a lot to choose from (but something that your whole family will enjoy!). My little one isn't really a meat eater either. She does fine w/beans, whole-grain foods, dairy and (natural) peanut butter, though. He won't starve.

I also wondered, are you feeding him so many snacks that he isn't really hungry at lunch and dinner? If so, he might be able to hold out long enough to make you give up hope. Be sure that he comes to the table hungry!

I'm surprised that so many pediatricians are saying to ride it out--everything I've read/seen says the best way to raise a healthy eater is to offer a variety of healthy foods and try not to fret about it--no short-order cooking!

Good luck.

L.

As my mom says "it's an age and a stage." :)

I would say keep doing what you're doing with snacks. Try to fill him up with healthy snacks throughout the day, and then, maybe, he'll eat less mac and cheese. And keep offering other foods, because he'll likely outgrow this stage unexpectedly one day.

Meat isn't a necessity, thankfully, because my daughter wouldn't eat meat until she was 3 or so. Look up vegetarian snacks, and there you can probably find some higher protein ideas. Soft tofu can be blended down to smoothness and mixed with mac and cheese. Since it takes on the taste of whatever it's cooked with, he might not notice it in there.

My husband and youngest son don't eat vegetables. It irritates the tar out of me, since the two bigger kids DO eat them! But I offer a wide variety of fruit to the two picky "boys" and hope for the best. LOL

My son only recently started eating "meals" with the rest of us, so during the day, I made sure he had good snacks. Things like cheese sticks and cubes, sweet potato fries (you can find them in the freezer section), sliced apples, oranges, cubed chicken bits (try sprinkling them with a bit of a flavor packet from mac and cheese before baking), umm, whole wheat crackers or bread with a slight dusting of jelly, rolled up natural lunch meats. He pretty much only ate bananas for lunch at supper. And ONLY bananas. Try planning out snacks that can give him some "meal" food and look at his mac/chz as "snack food."

Good luck. Keep offering, and (surely LOL) he'll outgrow it someday :)

Don't sweat it. I'm sure your doctor would tell you the same thing. Keep offering other options, but as long as he's getting nutritious snacks, he should be fine. This will pass, just keep trying. I do like the idea of puree in the food also - pretty sneaky. And instead of meat, he can get protein in other foods like eggs or peanut butter. But don't stress yourself out over this. It may just be that he's found something that he has "control" over, and sees you trying so hard to change. It may make him feel a little powerful to have that control over this situation. So maybe if you don't make a huge deal out of it, he will try some other things.

Hi N.,
If it were me, I would take away the mac and cheese completely. Throw it or give it away, so there is NONE in the house. I think once he realizes it's gone, he'll have to try something else! I doubt he'll starve himself.
Good luck!

From Denise Field's "Baby 411" and "Toddler 411", I understand that most toddlers go through a finicky stage where they will only eat one or two foods. Most kids grow out of it if parents continue offering foods to them. A child also will not starve - if they're hungry, they'll eat. I think we forget that because we live in such plenty, we can afford to give several options. I remind myself of the Great Depression to firm my resolve, LOL. Our son has always eaten very well, and only recently (at 18 months) become picky and won't eat many foods he used to love. He gets excited to see them on his plate, but then he won't eat them. I just take the food away and put it back in front of him at the next meal or snack. Plus, I've found that sometimes, if I don't pay attention to him, he'll start picking through the food and eating some of it.

I was a very picky eater as a kid, and while my mom made some accommodation, I do recall having to make the best of it many times, because I knew I wouldn't get anything else, not even PB&J if that wasn't dinner. Your son is not going to starve; perhaps if you didn't make a big fuss over it and get stressed yourself, then it will become less stressful over all. Place the responsibility on his shoulders - "this is what we're eating, and you can choose to eat it or not, but I'm no longer going to be a short-order cook." Include some item you know he likes, but not always mac&cheese, and just be matter-of-fact about it. That may help. :) Good luck!

p.s. I went through a phase as a teenager where I would eat Kraft mac&cheese every night for months, as a midnight snack. After a while I tired of it, but I needed to get it out of my system, as it were, and I did. As for proteins - beans, cheese, and nuts are good sources. If your son likes peanut butter, he may also like other nut butters (you can probably find almond or cashew butter at health food stores). Plus, if you want to go "gourmet", try introducing him to alfredo sauce and call it fancy mac&cheese. But I wouldn't worry about him starving or being stunted in growth. I doubt most professional sports players only ate veggies as kids, or even as adults.

No need to stress. I have a 4 1/2 year old who won't touch any meat other than bacon. She lives mostly on kraft dinner as well. She has always been an extremely choosy eater. However, she poops, sleeps, and grows just like any other kid. The doctor says she'll be fine. I am lucky that she likes the gummy vitamins, so i know she is getting some nutritional value. I had a nephew who lived on oatmeal for a couple of years, and one who lived on honey nut cheerios. They are in high school now and doing just fine. It's great to offer new foods, but don't lose sleep over it. Kids are amazing!!

Hi N.. Three words I live by "I'M the mommy". Not to be prideful, but my kids are not old enough to make decisions for what is best for them That's why God made me the mommy and not them. (It also holds me accountable that because I am the mommy, I am expected to make good decisions.) My kids went through being picky eaters too. My son more than my daughter. He thought he was only going to eat chicken nuggets maybe until he's old and gray, who knows, but we nipped it either way. We decided that I was not a short order cook and the kids were old enough to eat what we are eating so we dish a little out on their plates. Sometimes they eat it, sometimes they don't. The rules are, you don't have to like it but you have to try it. If you try it and don't like it you don't have to eat it, but there won't be anything else until breakfast tomorrow. And then stick to it - no snacking, no ice cream just because everybody else is getting ice cream. But we also make sure that, if I know my son doesn't like pasta, for instance, and we're having a food with pasta, I make sure there is something on the table that he does like, like beans, or veggies, broccoli, etc, and I don't mind if his meal is 9/10ths broccoli. I also try to incorporate a day of each of their favorite foods just so mealtime doesn't become a chore, and on other days we have "crazy supper" like dessert first, or breakfast for supper. That way they don't come to hate the meal experience.

You just have to not give him that food and "break him" of it. Yes, they will go on hunger strike. My son's lasted for four days, and on that fourth day when he finally sat down to something he would have thought was the worst food ever, he actually said "see? Not so bad!"

We still have the occasional standoff, a year later. We had roast beef Sunday night in fact. He never touched it. But then we had bought a box of girl scout cookies earlier in the day and opened them up after supper. He knew there would be no cookie without the roast beef first so he went back and cleaned his plate in two seconds flat. You just have to break him of it - I would say no mac n cheese for at least a couple weeks, then only every couple weeks do the mac.

Good luck & God bless!
K.

Oh and P.S. Don't give snacks during the hunger strike. Otherwise, he'll rely on those and snack you to death every 1/2 hour.

just stop making mac and cheese. or at least switch to a healthier brand than Kraft! (try annies) give him breakfast all day for a few days(you said it was only at lunch and dinner, right?) then show him the pantry and say. "there is no more mac and cheese. mommy will not buy any more mac and cheese. mommy will not make you any more mac and cheese." tell him why, that it isn't healthy to only eat one thing, and that your job is to help him grow up healthy and strong. then just do it. he will eat other foods. just make sure he has tons of water to drink!

I had a similar issue with my 20 month old. I just offered what we were having even though she wouldn't take it. If your son is hungry he will eat or at least try what you offer. My pediatrician says never be a short order cook. My daughter is a little better at eating different things now but she still has her moments when she only wants pizza.

...First, you made a mistake by feeding your child cheese n mac in the first place. Second, take the stuff away...when he gets hungry, he will eat veggies.

My son is exactly the same way. He has expanded to corn and chicken over the years. Honestly, you are going to have to NOT give him mac & cheese. He will eat other food eventually. Kids are resillient so he won't starve or anything. You will be worried (as I was) when he just wont eat and it seems like days but he will come around and eat other foods eventually. I would also get a liquid multivitamin to put in his drinks to ensure he is getting the necessary vitamins and minerals. I did this with my son and cut out all milk (because milk is filling). He is a stubborn kid so I was having a difficult time keeping up with it but with encouragement from my friends and family who suggested it, we made it through. He is still an extremely picky eater BUT he eats.

When she was about that age, my daughter went through a phase where she wanted scrambled eggs and yogurt for every meal. My pediatrician said not to worry about it - kids go through food fixation phases, to let her have it, and she would eventually get tired of eggs and yougurt and want soemthing else.
If he's eating healthy snacks between meals, he'll be fine.
He doesn't need meat, as long as he's getting protein from other sources. If he'll eat peanut butter or cheese, give him peanut butter or cheese on crackers as part of his snack. If he'll drink milk, give him milk with his meals.

haha My daughter is 4 1/2 and still eats mostly Mac n Cheese. I just give it to her as a "side dish" with something else every time. Our pediatrician says not to worry about it because true eating habits aren't developed until around age 6. There are actually worse things to eat than mac n cheese. Don't worry about. Just continue offering options along with it and eventually he'll figure it out. Have you tried putting other stuff into it? We add hot dogs sometimes, tuna and pees. But even by itself, at least you know he's getting plenty of dairy, which is very important at this age. Good luck!!

A.