Looking for Someone... No Idea Where to Start

I've had luck with ussearch.com (US Search). It's not free but it does do a good job of tracking people down.

I just read your So What Happened. Before you jump to the conclusion of who your biological father is or is not you need to do a DNA test. The man you thought was your father could be your father even tho you don't look like him. Yes, you can look like your parents but many people don't.

My grandson looks like his step-father and nothing like his birth father. I was looking at a picture of his step-father when he was in grade school and thought it was my grandson. People frequently tell him he looks just like his dad when he's with his step-father.

I urge you to find a way to do DNA testing before you stir up an even bigger mess than you have now. This sort of thing, as you've already experienced, is very emotional. Take some time and think about what it is you wish to accomplish. Yes,you see a picture but then what will you want to know?

From someone who was adopted you need to stop and breathe. I am guessing you are around 20 something, well I knew I was adopted when I was three. By the time I was old enough to do anything about it I was over it. So I was adopted, whatever. There is and always will be a part of me that wants to know the genetics, perhaps the demons that drive me. In the end it is not enough to make me turn my life upside down and perhaps theirs as well.

I think you should take time and really think about what this means. Consider what is the possible outcomes to finding him. Sometimes it is better to dream a happy dream than to live a nightmare.

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classmates.com might be a good one

If you have at least a city where he lived, age, and full name you could try Peoplefinders,com, which lists prior addresses as well as recent ones. I did find a long lost friend there.

Also, try Ancestry.com, and other genealogical sites. Something may come up, although it is doubtful he would show up in a census unless he was over 70 years old. This is because by law US census records are sealed for 72 years. (This was done to prevent the release of personal information during individuals' lifetimes based on life expectancy, which when initiated was about only 60 years. Individual census data most recently released to the public was the 1930 census, so even obtaining census records for fairly recent relatives when working on a family tree is near impossible.) More than likely you may be able to find birth, marriage, military and some public records he has.

God bless<3

Of course it's a good idea. You need closure and understanding and there is nothing wrong with that. Does he know he's your father? I'm sure you had a long talk with mom about it, but I would be sure to ask her all the hard questions so you know what you're getting into it. Searching public records is a good idea if you know his last known city/state. If you have nothing, then I'd consider hiring some one who finds people, they are good at it, although I'm sure it's costly, you'll have to decide if it's worth it. Good luck, what heartbreaking news to find out!

privateeye.com will give you any information that has been reported to a public entity - ie electric bill, cable bill etc. So you will get their name, addresses and phone #s. We use this at work. It's not free - like $30, but it will give you all the known addresses for that person and you can just go through them until you find him.

Think about why you want to find him, though. You say...... you want to know....... WHAT do you want to know? Kinda rhetorical, I know.... but make sure YOU know what you hope to accomplish and then determine if you have a realistic goal.

Good Luck!

Try Zabasearch.

Sure, go for it, I would. Just don't have high expectations. Expect the worst (that he will be a loser bum who's not interested), and then you can only be pleasantly and happily surprised.

What has your Mom told you? What is the last address she had for him? Even a city of state would help. Does she know his date of birth, parent's, siblings names, etc. Where he worked, went to university, high school? Where he was born? Any information you can get from her may help.

There are people finder search engines on the internet where you type in a name and it pops up all people with that name. Then, of course, they want you to pay for a report. But, if you had more info, you could narrow down the results and get an idea of how many possibles are out there.

There is always the private investigator route - but again, you probably need more info on him.

Wow, what a bomb shell, huh? I think if you want to find him, then you should. Once you do, then you can decide if you want to contact him.

Good Luck
God Bless

Okay, I just typed my own name into peoplelookup.com, using all states, and came back with two listings which showed age, cities, and known relatives for each listing. Yup, one of them was me.

How much info does your mother have?

Just a name, or age, location (at the time), job (at the time), alma mater, family members, other info?

well you have his name and probably his age? get as much info from your mom as possible about him, like birth city, year, state, country. find out if he has siblings or what his parents names are, then find the census for that area (if in the usa)
you also need most of that info for the geneology websites.
i am mormon, so i know that the church has classes you can take on geneology and family search, ou can go to the website to find more info
www.lds.org

I would start with a geneology site. The mormons have really good ones and there are a couple others that are really good. It may or may not get you contact info, but it may get you some close relatives, which in turn may get you where you are trying to go. I would probably be sneaky about it. I would get a close relative and then send them a facebook message that you are trying to track him down on behalf of your mom. It's important to her to get closure or something. Let them infer what they want. If somebody told that to me I would totally go get my dad's address.

As far as should you try and find out about him . . . absolutely. The world works in mysterious ways. Maybe there is a reason for you to know now. A brother or sister. A niece or nephew. Maybe he only has a year or so left.

For us girls it's easy to know if we have a kid or not. It's a hard experience to forget. Even if we give a child up for adoption, we still know they exist out there somewhere. It's gotta be tough being a guy. Is it your kid? Do I have a kid out there somewhere? Do I have grandchildren I know nothing about?

Good luck! Remember, you are stronger than you think.

If she can give you a state along with he name it might be worth searching the White pages.
If he's passed away I'm not sure how you could find out more.

OH wow... I had the same thing happen to me except I was 13 and told in a very mean way by my stepfather. (It's odd to type stepfather for me LOL, he has always been Daddy)