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Updated on December 12, 2006
S.S. asks from Cheboygan, MI
12 answers

I have a 16 month old son.. He doesn't play with many children and he is the only grandchild. I am pregnant, and I'm not sure how to let him know that mommy and daddy are going to have another baby. I try to say things like "there's a baby in my belly" and things like that, but I don't think that he understands. I am also nervous about when we bring the other baby home. How do I prepare my young toddle for this massive change?

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B.

answers from Kalamazoo on

hi S., i have a friend in a similar situation, her girl is about 19 mo old with one coming in feb. her dr. suggested that they get a baby doll and start somewhat treating it like the new baby, sitting it at the dinner table, crib etc... if you have some stuff set up for the new one. i have not personally done this, becuase i only have one child, but that was what her obgyn suggested for an easier transition....if you have time, something like a play group, or kindermusic might be good for the only child to be exposed to to learn how to interact with other children also??? good luck and congrats

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B.K.

answers from Detroit on

I am in a similiar situation. We found out I was pregnant when my daughter was 22 months old. We didn't tell her right away. We waited until she could start seeing physical changes in me, when my belly started getting bigger. We would tell her that Mommy is going to have a little baby. I don't know if your son is into Dora but there is a movie, Big sister Dora I think it's called. We let my daughter watch that and that got her excited for a baby. I also sit with her once in a while and watch the Baby Story on TLC and she gets excited when the babies are born. We are hoping that all this prepares her for when our son is born in Feb. I hope this helped!! Good Luck and Congratulations!

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S.S.

answers from Melbourne on

I just went through a similar situation with my 2 yr old boy. We just had our third child when he was 20 months old. We also have 4 yr old. I don't know if having an older sibling helped at all though. I tried to tell him about the baby by showing him pictures of babies and pointing to my belly. He was very aggressive at first but that has subsided. He still shows signs of jealousy at times, but it is all working out great because he just adores his little brother. I amsure all will work out well just try showing pictures of babies and talking about there being one in your belly. Little ones don't always show signs of understanding but they are smarter than we think!

S.

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C.T.

answers from Detroit on

I had my son(now 5 months old) when my daughter was 20 months( now25 months). I told her i had a baby in my tummy. she kissed my belly all the time. we also got big sister books and the dora video. she also likes baby dolls ,so we got her a new one when the baby was born. she likes to hold her brother all the time. (with help of course.)so we encourage that too! we had her come up to the hospital when he was born. My daughter adjusted well!thank god!
but the first 3months were really hard! so prepare yourself. look to get help! my mother in law takes my daughter every wedsday. so it gives me a little break. i also relied on her alot the first 2 months if things got crazy, id call saying help! she come down for an hour. need any other suggestions or advice feel free to email me!

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C.K.

answers from Detroit on

Hi,
The only advice that I can give is to check at your hospital. Most hospitals have a sibling class. It helps kids of all ages understand what is going on with the new baby. This might help out a little bit. My son was 5 when I got pregnant with his sister. So, I guess that we had it a little easier. Best of luck to you and your expanding family.
-C.

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J.G.

answers from Benton Harbor on

Try involving him in everything that has to do with the baby, from going to dr's app to picking out new clothes or themes for babies room. Make sure to take him when it comes time to hear the heart beat it will be awesome just for both of you, for you the shock and joy on his face and for him the fact that he can hear the baby and it will be more real for him, also make sure to take him with when it comes time for the ultra sound kids love that atleast both mine did they kept saying there's my baby and when ever we went somewhere they would want to take the pic to show everyone. Their joy was priceless. Hope it works out for you.

J.

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J.K.

answers from Detroit on

HI S.
WHEN I WAS PREGNANT FOR MY 2ND CHILD. I ALREADY HAD A GREAT SON, WHO ASKED ALWAYS WHAT WAS IN MY BELLY, I ALWAYS TOLD HIM SISSY. BACK THEN WE DIDN;T HAVE ULTRA SOUNDS . SO MY SON WAS 14 MONTHES OLD WHEN I HAD HER, I WAS LUCKY. (CAN;T IMAGINE HIM CALLINY A BOY SISSY) SO THERE 14 MONTHES APART, OTHER QUESTIONS WAS HOW DID SHE GET IN THERE ? I SAID GOD PUT HER THERE. THEY ARE 23 AND 24 NOW AND THET ARE THE BESTEST OF FRIENDS.I HAD TO HAVE HIM OFF THE BOTTLE AND OUT OF DIAPERS @ 12 MONTHES. I REFUSDED TO HAVE BOTH IN THEM, AGAIN I WAS BLESSED WITH AN ADVANCED LITTLE BOY. GOOD LUCK TO YOU

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M.Y.

answers from Kalamazoo on

I think my daughter was about 19 months when we found out that we were pregnant with our son. I did acouple of things, one was to get her some kids books were characters got new baby sisters or brothers. Her favorite was the Critters book, I think it was called A New Baby....can't remember now. But it helped her to understand that mommy and daddy would be bringing home a little brother or sister soon. I also bought her a Care For Me Baby Pooh. It came with clothing (diaper, shirt and hat)a bottle, a seat to feed him in that doubled as a bath tub, a towel and baby Pooh of course. We would sit in the bathroom or kitchen and bathe pooh, dress him and then feed him. All the while I talked about how her new little brother or sister would need just as much help, love and attention as baby Pooh. Once we new that we were having a little boy, we talked about baby Isaac, instead of baby Pooh. I also encouraged her to talk to my tummy, she would crawl up on my lap, hug my stomack and say, I love you Isaac. I have also heard of people buying small gifts and then giving them to the older sibling and saying that it was from their new little brother or sister. They did this during the pregnancy, the day of the birth and a few times after they brought the baby home. Once the baby is home, it is important to involve the older child as much as possible. My daughter would bring me the wipes, throw diapers away, help feed her brother and read stories and sing to him. She absolutly adored him, until he started to crawl that is, and then all of a sudden her toys became community toys....lol. Anyway hope something in here helped and good luck to you and your growing family :) M.

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A.I.

answers from Lansing on

how far a long are you now? when you get far enuff along for your son to feal the baby move it will get a little eaSER FOR HIM TO UNDERSTAND TRYING BUYING ONE OF THEM MONITOR THAT LET YOU HEAR THE HEART BEAT OR MAYBE TAKE HIM TO YOUR NEXT DOCTOR APP AND LET HIM HEAR THE HEART BEAT AND TELL HIM THAT HIS NEW BABY AND POINT TO YOUR BELLY AS IT GROWS IT WILL BE COME MORE REAL FOR HIM GOOD LUCK

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C.M.

answers from Grand Rapids on

I honestly don't have much advice but just want to tell you that I have been there! I had my daughter when my son was 20 months and it was tough. When we got home from the hospital, every time my daughter cried, he cried. He wasn't drinking out of a bottle anymore but wanted to again once he saw his sister drinking out of one. So I let him. It only lasted about a week! It really took us about 2 months to fully adjust. We just made sure that we spent lots of time with just him. When my husband came home from work, he devoted most of the evening to him. I have a friend who had a baby when her son was 2-a little older-and it was a pretty easy adjustment for them. Her advice to me was to let the older child in on everything! Feeling the baby move while pregnant, talking to the baby, reading to the baby. After the baby is born, she recommended letting the older child help with everything (can you hand me that diaper? can you get the blanket, etc). Please contact me anytime cuz I know that I found a lot of relief from talking to others who were going thru it or had gone thru it. Take care!

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V.M.

answers from Kalamazoo on

when i got pregnant the 2nd time i included my ist son in all we did buyin things puttin them together an when we brought him home we let him hold feesd an do things for him told him he was the big boy an the baby needed him it helped he an his brothers are very close to this day just let him be in everything u do now an when the baby comes

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C.V.

answers from Grand Rapids on

Hi S.,
I would just keep doing what you are doing. My son was almost 2 and a half when my second son was born. I also was very nervous about how my first son would react to the big change. I worried for nothing. Noah (son number 1) did great. He was never jealous or acted out at all. Always try and involve your son in what you are doing. I always asked Noah if he wanted to get me a diaper or a bottle ect. I also made sure to set aside time when I could have one on one time with just him. Whether it was reading a book or giving him a bath it was just him and me. Don't get me wrong, the first couple of months were tiring and hard but not as much as I was thinking it would be. Now Noah is almost 3 and a half and Owen will be one in Jan. and they are becoming good buddies. Its fun to watch them interact. You will love having two. Good luck with everything.
Chris

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