Preparing My Daughter for a Sibling

I read a lot of books to my daughter about childbirth and being a bg sister. I also did a lot of playing with her when it comes to dolls and taking care of babies. She is a pretty gentle child to start with though. At this point she is very good around her baby brother as long as she is not throwing her tantrums, which has increased significantly since the birth of the baby.

Good luck.

Y.

I had the same problem with my daughter. In fact My daughter turned 2 in March of 2005 and my son was born in October of 2005. So we pretty much have the same time span going. I found that watching Big Sister Dora and a few of the other cartoons that are out there that help illustrate becoming a big sister really helped her. There are also alot of cute books about bringing home a new baby. My daughter's favorite was Biscuit and the Baby. It's about a puppy that the older sister has to introduce to the baby. There are several other Biscuit books too so you can introduce the character to your daughter. The other thing I did was include her in everything I did with my sons room. I had her help me choose bedding (I picked three that I liked then had her choose the final one), the paint color (same theory as the bedding), paint the walls (little paint brush, old shirt, lots of drop cloth, baby wipes, and laughs) , build the swing (she can hand you the pieces or the tools), you name it I brought her along for it. Every doctors appointment, she was with me. My grandparents thought that I was overdoing it, but she was there when I heard his heart beat the first time. She was there for his first picture (sonogram). I put the car seat in the car about two months early because she wanted it there. We knew for sure that it was a boy, so we called him by name and had her call him by name right away. She was at the hospital for the delivery. My uncle watched her while I gave birth, then brought her in to say "Hi". She got to pick out his first Build a Bear and stuff it for him. I had a horrible pregnancy with my son, but to be honest my daughter helped me get through it. Just be patient. they have no understanding of what is really happening, but if you include them they will get excited because they think they are "Big" and they are "Helping" you.

I have a slightly different perspective on this due to my most recent experience. My kids are adopted and I only had 4 days to prepare the entire family for a brand new baby. My youngest daughter's birthmother had another baby that no one knew about until she was at the hospital for her c-section. The adoption agency called and said "I hope you're sitting down - do you still a have a crib and baby equipment because you're a mommy again!"

Anyway, I broke out the Dora big sister video right away for my youngest daughter who was 22 months and took out some big sister books from the library. I won't lie and tell you it was all sunshine and roses when I brought Devon home a few days later, but she adjusted quickly. The hardest part for her was seeing some of the things recently used for her suddenly being used for the baby - the crib, the car seat, the stroller, etc. To make it worse, she was potty training at the time and we had a slight regression in that too. It took about 2 months for her to stop asking me to "put him back at hopital". After that, she decided she was a "big girl" and suddenly the potty training clicked, she started helping with the baby, and has been fine ever since. She says she "loves brothy much much!"

Don't stress too much - she'll be fine and they'll likely be typical siblings in a few years... they'll be all lovey one minute and fight like cats and dogs the next minute!

Best of luck,
K.

hi.... give her little jobs to do for the baby. when i was pregnat i got my daughter the dora the big sister movie and that seem to help her alot . When the baby is born buy her a big sister gift from the baby to make her feel specail too. good luck

My daughter was 21 months when my son was born. and she was a mommy's girl very attached to me. What i did was show her how to play nice with her baby dolls. Anything that i used for her that i was going to use for the baby i stopped about 3 months before the baby was born because i didn't want her to think the baby was taking anything from her. i also set up the playpen and bassinet where it would be so when the baby came it wouldn't be something new for her to explore while the baby was in it. I was so worried she would be jealous of the baby because she didn't understand but it was the total opposite from the day the baby was born we had no problems with jealousy she just loves her baby brother. They are now 2 and 11 months and keep me very busy.

I was pregnant with #2 just as you are, my son and daughter are almost exactly 2 yrs apart. I wasn't sure how to handle it, but whatever I did worked. They are now 8 and 6, and even though they can fight like the dickens, they are also both capable of enormous compassion for each other. One thing I always did was keep my son near when I was nursing my daughter. I would talk to him, or sit next to him while he watched a cartoon. When it was time for bath, I let him "wash" his sister's feet, and he could help feed her cereal when she was old enough. I think that helped because then he didn't feel left out or that she was more important than he was. Good luck, and congratulations on your expanding family!

My daughter was about 18 months old when we found out that we were expecting again. I made sure she was part of everything (including how we told my husband we were pregnant again). We took her to every OB appointment and read books about it to her. Plus we did a big siblings class at the hospital we were going to . She got to see the hospital and practice holding the baby, feeding, diapering. She really loved seeing the nursery in the hospital too (it helped her to see little babies to know what was coming home with us soon). You can also practice with some of her dolls. You hold one and show her how to do it and then let her do it with another doll. As long as you explain what's going on and include her in everything, I think she'll be good. You can expect some jealousy to come out, but make sure you also show her you still love her and have time for her. It's going to be hard, but it will get easier. I now have two kids who absolutely love each other and my daughter loves being a big sister.

when I found out I was pregnant with my son my daughter had just turned 2. we included her in everything. She didnt understand at first but she eventually got it. We took her to all our OB appointments. She was there for al the ultra sounds. She even named my son. I would just keep telling her. ALso there are programs that you can take her to about becoming a big sister. I know the Hospital has one and so does Babies R us. We also left her buy things for the baby. When we went baby shopping we left her pick out some of the outfits and let her help pick the theme. She picked Pooh . ALso there are DVD's out there. I know we got her the Big Sister Dora book, dvd and doll and she was thrilled with it. Before we went to the hosptial we also bought something for her for every day that I was going to be in the hosptial ( I knew I was having a repeat c section ) that way whenever she came to see me I had a little gift for her. Nothing real big stuff as simple as a new coloring book and crayons, a book. It was all stuff to keep her busy. It would have worked but at the time RHMC wasnt allowing children in the hosptial because of an epidemic. So that was hard for us . We left her hold him with us being there as soon as she saw him for the first time. They share such a special bond. My daughter has become such a big help. She talk to him and plays with him all the time . She is an excellent big sister and I am sure yours will too.
L.

I definitely agree with all the advice already!

I have 4 kids, spaced 20 months, 20 months, then just less than 2 years. We took the older kids to prenatal visits, talked about babies, included them in choices. We had them visit the new baby as soon as possible after the birth--my oldest daughter (who was then 5) actually witnessed the birth of our youngest son--she was given a disposable black & white camera to take pictures, and had the job of announcing the gender of the baby.

We let the kids hold the baby--sitting on the couch with a Boppy pillow on their lap. Once we had two girls and then started adding boys, we actually had to set a "sharing timer" for the girls to take turns holding the babies because they liked that so much. But you need to stay close by for this--with each of our sons my younger daughter at one point heard the doorbell ring, knew it was Nana & PopPop, so she slithered out from under the baby/Boppy to run to the door--and I caught the baby just in time to prevent injury.

You will be surprised at how well your DD adapts...and the best thing will be as you see her mimicing you as she nurtures her new sibling. Good luck!

Hi A.!

My daughter was 26 months old when my second daughter was born. I agree with the dora the explora video on Big Sisters. That helped. Having her carry the doll like a real baby (making sure to correct her in a nice way) usually helped but not really as much as the videos. I just talked to her a lot. I told her that her little sister was coming and was she going to be a big sister? And asked how she was going to help mommy? I would ask how she would help and she would tell me that she would get the diapers, wipes, bottles, etc.

A., when my second daughter was born she was and still is a big help. She does get rough at times but that is when we explain that she has to be gentle. We explain why and then she is fine. It will take lots of patience but the videos and books that are out there help a lot so definitely look into those. I also took her things I knew was going to be for the new baby away at least 3-4 months earlier so that she didn't think the new baby was taking her "stuff" and that worked out great.

Good luck!
S.