Leave My Boobs Alone! (Definitely TMI)

Is it the WAY he is touching them? Because sometimes my husband can just be flat out annoying with it.
I have to tell him, "Could you do this, rather than THAT, because that sucks!" lol

Maybe a different, gentler approach?

I would try to work on it, because men reallllly like boobs!

I don't like having them touched since bf. I just weaned so hoping this improves. It has nothing to do with thinking of babies eating, they are just more sensitive. I was never neutral, they've really always been sensitive, which has the potential of being a good thing. Unfortunately my husband has never mastered the art. He's like a 15 year old feeling up boobs for the first time. So I try to keep them out of reach.

yeah boobies! It's a guy thing, you need to explain to him what you explained here. Not just off-hand comments. Let him know why this bothers you.
From the other answers on this one, you're not alone. Just talk to him, good luck.

I never enjoyed it....until...I changed my perspective. Really, on sex completely.
I used to loosely tolerate it, and if DH was sucking away on my nipples, I could barely stand it. I hated it, and just never told him.

Then I started getting real about sex. My issues, and my insecurities. I got more vocal about what I want, more adventurous (thank you 50 Shades of Grey!)...and now I'm much more in the moment and find it to be awesome! So I think some if it is in your head - it was for me. Once I changed my mindset, it turned around completely.

I feel so sorry for all these posters who really feel this way. I did not and don't have this problem.

I have to say that I hope you talk to the doctor about this and do whatever it takes to work this out, for your husband's sake. It's a big deal for a husband to not be able to touch his wife's breasts.

Dawn

What is mankind's most sensitive sex organ? The mind! The mind decides what is sexy and what is not; who you will be attracted to and who is a turn off; which sex you are attracted to and a host of other things.

People decide (mental thing) if blue eyes or long or short hair or no hair is sexy. They decide if breasts are sexy or if they are not.

Go to a therapist and find out why you feel they way you do about your breasts. Then work to change your attitude. Asking you to change your attitude is not a "respect for how I think and who I am" issue. People who love guns are not allowed to carry them on commercial aircraft. People who like nudity are not allowed to go to the store nude.

Almost all men like to touch breasts and play with the nipple. Most men like to turn their partner on. You can teach him to make love to you as you would like to. I'm pretty sure he will love the homework. ;~))

Good luck to you and yours.

I enjoyed it before and enjoy it now, and I'm still nursing. For some reason, there is an automatic distinction for me. I understand how some women can get turned on sexually when their kids eat, because it's a physical thing. That hasn't been an issue for me; I totally compartmentalize. In fact, I can have sex and feed my baby at the same time and keep them fully separate. (I actually thought about this recently and kinda chuckled.)

Did your husband know when you got married that you didn't like it? Were you honest with him from the beginning about this? I'm just wondering why he still bothers if he knows what it does--or doesn't do--for you. Are you interested in trying to change your feelings about this, or do you just want your husband to stop wanting it? Maybe you guys should see a sex therapist.

When I was breastfeeding my daughter, I hated having my boobs touched. I was all touched out. It took a few months after her weaning before I could stand it again. And then, eventually, I enjoyed it again.

I've liked my breasts being touched. I've breastfed (and still breastfeeding #4) all 4 of my kids for over a year each. This is the only baby where I'm like, "Get off me!" to my husband. He thinks I'm even more sexy breastfeeding. Ok, I'll go with it. Whatever works for him. I'm sure I'll be fine once this is all done.

It just might not be an erogenous zone for you...and that's ok. It might be emotional for you as well. Did someone touch you inappropriately as a child?

Hi, Mama:

You stated you never enjoyed having your boobs touched. What do you like touched?

Your hand, your hair/head, your arms, your back?

Wherever you like touched, just tell your husband to rub your arm, neck or whatever is nurturing for you.

Good luck.
D.

During breastfeeding my girls were SUPER sensitive so no, I didn't like my husband touching them (much to his dismay as he found the whole nursing thing a big turn on!)
But other than that, yes, I do like them touched, a lot. They are one of my favorite features and an erogenous zone for sure.
ETA: maybe when you're done nursing you can work on this issue a bit. I would imagine it would be hard for a man not to be able to stroke and handle his wife's breasts.

I liked mine being touched before and during and after breastfeeding, but the sensation is definitely more intense and different than it was before. I think some people they are more sensitive than others, but really, I think it sounds like a "mommy mode" mental mindset to me - I get that way sometimes, not about my boobs, but about sex in general, touching in general - I have had 2 little people hanging off me all day, I have been taking care of them and serving them all day and then DH comes home and he "wants to be taken care of", too, and it is like - when is someone going to "take care of" me??? Or I am all "touched out" by the time he gets here, and just totally exhausted/not interested, want to be left alone.

Lately I have been trying intentionally/forcing myself to get myself in the mood/out of "taking care of others/martyr "mode and into "having fun" mode - you have to work on it. If you want to enjoy having them touched, since, probably, your hubby wants you to enjoy it, I think you have to change your mind intentionally. You can talk to your husband about it ( not DURING sex, or right before - but maybe while you are watching a movie or something where someone is having a love scene and doing that ) - maybe say - Wow, I wish I enjoyed that that much, but it just doens't turn me on, in fact it turns me off - I really like such and such much more. You could go to a sex therapist, or you could just try to change your mindset yourself. Remind yourself your hubby is trying to make this feel l good - also try to gently move/direct him more to whichever areas you do enjoy the most. But when he does go for the girls, think about it as if YOU are doing something for him, since he obviously enjoys touching them, and it makes him feel good, let him play, and just try to focus on enjoying physical touch in general and closeness, no matter what part of you he is touching.

I would imagine that mostly your husband just wants to please you, so is there a place you DO like to be touched? For example, I love for my hair and neck to be played with, or I really like my back to be tickled. I would much prefer that to other things. Tell your hubby what you DO like, and when he does it, make sure you tell and show that you enjoy it. I think that as long as he feels like he is able to please you and you enjoy his touches in some places, and also explain to him perhaps that your poor boobies have been desensitized from breast feeding and mammograms and whatnot, he will be more than willing to comply.

Breast feeding really de-sexualized breasts for me.
These days I feel like they are just another pair of cow teats.
They excite my husband but that thrill isn't there for me anymore.
He touches them when he wants to and I'm fine with it.
Is there any other mammal out there that makes such a big deal over breasts as humans do?
Sometimes attitudes about them are udder-ly ridiculous.

I have large breasts, I have never enjoyed having them touched. They are always achy and sore from being strapped into a bra all day. I am nursing now so I really dont like having them touched. I dont think you need counseling because you dont enjoy having your breasts touched as someone suggested. Everyone is different. Get some sexy lingerie tops so your husband can at least look at them, lol, Ive found if I do.that I can leave the top on without my husband complaining too much. If I dont have anything on the top, they fling and flop around which is not very comfortable. Not everyone likes everything, as long as you have a healthy sex life otherwise I dont see why that one area cant be off limits.

I'm SUPER sensitive now and it is very irritating. I've always sort of liked it before my daughter, it was a turn on for me, it was a part of a routine and warmed me up, I enjoyed it. But then they got very sensitive after breastfeeding and my husband knew it and used it to his advantage, it wasn't so bad, he kept it in the bed room but it did become step 2 or 3 when it used to be step 4 or 5. Now that I'm expecting again they are even more sensitive and I hate it! My husband loves it, UGH the wind changes direction and I'm on point. "No you big doofus I'm not aroused and ready for "play" the damn things have a mind of their own!!" In the bedroom when I'm all nice and "warm" and willing it's GREAT. But I swear he's like a toddler with a light switch!! "No! I do NOT want to be collapsing into an "O" in the middle of the kitchen, thank you very much!" Plus now I hardly get a warm up, he just goes right to them. I could hit him and his stupid "little boy" brain. Where did my husband go? I love him, I really do. It's just when it comes to my boobs he de-evolves.

I couldn't care less if my husband touched me there...as in I get nothing out of it. After breast feeding 4 kids...I really have no feeling in them. Mammograms...a breeze ...squeeze all you want because it doesn't hurt. So...I let him do it for him.

I like it when hubby is gentle, but have to tell him how to touch sometimes. But then pregnancy came and they were SO sensitive, esp nips, that they were frequently off limits. And breastfeeding brought yet another element because I felt over-touched and I basically became numb to feeling there. I was like a milking cow. So if hubby was trying to turn me on by touching boobs, I was either annoyed by it or totally unphased. That was hard for hubby to comprehend. It probably took another 6 months after BFing for them/me to feel normal again.

hard for me to relate, cuz i only went 'off' nipple play during breast-feeding. before and after babies, it's 'go git 'em!'
:) khairete
S.

I had issues with, and still do a little, because of molestation issues as a tween. Therapy helped me accept them as a part of my body. I don't know if that's part of your issue (aside from the BFing cause that does change things a bit :) If there is a deeper reason than just not being a sensual feeling, I would look at dealing with that. Otherwise, maybe talk to your doc about the sensory thing - might as well make sure it's not physiological.

Let your husband know, nicely, about this issue and ask him for his help - you don't want to make him feel crappy because he loves you and wants to be intimate in this way. If he understands, he can "work around" the issue.

Nope, no change here for me, I think it is all a personal preference - you just have to talk to him about it.

I enjoyed it, but didn't get a whole lot out of it before pregnancy & breastfeeding. During & for, oh, I don't know, about a decade after breastfeeding I felt the same way as you. Only fairly recently have I gotten back to liking it, but now it's gotten to the point where it's almost my very favorite thing. Just give yourself plenty of time & eventually if it comes back, great & if not, since you were never really into it in the first place, no big loss, right?

I feel the exact same way!

I didn't like it when I was breastfeeding for many reasons. Mostly because I didn't want milk going all over the place!!! LOL

Shortly after I stopped breastfeeding I enjoyed it again. I always did before though, and since you did not, it may just be something you will never like.

This is a totally normal reaction and is more common than you think. I think I've read about this in books published by the La Leche League. I say don't feel bad. I do hope you talk to your husband about it though. He needs to know and respect your feelings. There is nothing wrong with your feelings. You have a right to be respected.

Now that I've lost nearly 30 pounds I don't mind because of course my boobs went first! Before my boobs were a double D and no, I didn't like it. They were heavy and it was hard to get comfy and the last damn thing I wanted was to have them squeezed! Now I don't mind as much, I've actually began to like it. Im opposite! Now I Havnt breastfed a child in nearly 16 yrs and when I tried it was a disaster so BF has never been apart of my life and when I think of boobs I think sex, not food! I totally understand how you feel though!

i dont think i have much advice because i feel the same way and it has been 10 yrs since breastfeeding at all. the worst part is i paid for mine to retire with their heads up so to speak and my DH is like "um i finally got a set and i cant do nothing with them?" (his ex wife was almost concave...till after the divorce and child support kicked in and she got a boob job herself)....good luck to you. i hear from drs the desire will come back for them and i am still waiting.

Exactly what Ephie said is how I feel now.

I'm great with them for the first week or so after my period, but as it comes around again, It really hurts to have them squeezed or played with.

We sort of called them off limits during bfeeding but it didn't seem like it was too too long before it was ok again. Except before my period.

E gads, might i also suggest you try a different position or perhaps try touching them yourself to see if you can find gentle enjoyment, so you know what to tell hubby to do. maybe that's too much, just a suggestion.

I never really mind having my boobs touched. However a loved person was diagnosed with breast cancer and had to have a double masectomy done, My mentality changed and I feel terrible when my DH wants to touch them, in fact I wont take my shirt off.
Regarding bfing for some reason my milk never came down. Even if I wanted to bf I just couldn't.

I feel like you do. I don't know how to explain it... I don't think of babies eating but it just somehow feels very weird to me now -- not in a good way at all. It gives me a creepy feeling all through my body and I just have to redirect him. I used to love it... now, ick.